The Hot and Cold Method
- Using a hot and cold method is the best way to show confusion and desire inside a person's heart.
- It also creates weakness in him that will shift the power to you. It makes him feel weak around you.
- The most addictive relationships you’ve ever had, those you remember the most were the ones that had high ‘highs,’ and low ‘lows’.
- The higher the ‘highs’ and the lower the ‘lows,’ the more addictive
- It's not the ones that we love and feel tender emotions for, but the ones that cause us the most pain and while instantaneously causing us the most pleasure
🔥Hot Part:
- Hot is giving any form of attention. The hotness is what alleviates any fears or confusion.
- It shows validation, showing that you actually like the person
- He needs something to refer to when he feels down. He needs to remember good warm memories filled with intense emotions.
🔥When to use Hot:
- whenever he’s doing the right thing (acts like a gentleman, is generous etc)
- warmth is what reinforces whatever behavior you want him to enact.
- That warmth will make someone feel like, “Ooh I like this. I’m going to keep doing this!”
🔥How to use Hot:
- When he texts you, you text him back fast. You send him good morning texts. You tell him about your day.
- When you’re with him you make strong eye contact, you rub his head and make him feel good.
- Even though he may be skinny, touch his muscles like “Oh baby, damn! look at those muscles! Oh my God, you’re so hot.” Don’t worry about sounding fake. When someone finishes working out they know they look bigger.
- Sometimes when you reward a guy, what you have to do next is have a period of coldness: Up, down, up, down, up, down.
- In order for him to keep that motivation up, he has to feel like he lost validation, and needs to gain it again; so he starts working out again.
❄️Cold Part
Cold is when you remove attention – in any way or form
❄️When to use cold
- Right after he does something that could be interpreted as wrong
- You don't do it just randomly. If he didn't do anything that could be seen as bad, and you don’t text him, he’s not going to feel any guilt. He’a not going to feel like I did something wrong. He’d just be wondering if you’re being a bitch, or who you’re with.
- Another situation where you can use coldness is when you feel like the guy is getting too comfortable, and not working on himself anymore.
- Don’t use it out of emotion, but rather out of strategy. Remember, the punishment has to fit the crime.
❄️How to use cold
- Act like you're bored in that relationship for a couple of minutes or days .
- act uninterested and selfish. One day be very happy; the next day, don’t be happy.
- Disapear. When you’re not around, his mind will fill in the gaps and fantasize how good it’d feel to alieviate the discomfort of not being around you.
- Let him fall in love wtih you through his imagination. It enhances your perception.
- the longer you are in a relationship, the more subtle the coldness has to be.
- So just do light things; light little bits of punishments, light coldness. And make sure to reward him right after the punishment. Be cold but right after the coldness, show attraction
- For example, rather than not responding to a text (like you would've done earlier), you reduce the amount of ‘LOL’s, and reduce the amount of words that you use in the text. It's subtle, but guys will notice that it's not as happy as you used to text.
- You cannot be so cold to the point where guys start suspecting that you're cheating. You've got to be cold to the point that he might think, ‘Oh shit, this is just me being insecure’
- The best way to use it, is so that when he hears from you a couple hours or so later, you say, “Oh I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to do that. My phone died.” Now his mind is like, “Oh, I was just acting crazy. That was just me, I guess. Damn, I really like her, I guess.”
- Act as though it was an honest mistake, in order for you to not get caught. You need to have an air of innocence. You need to be seen as though you're weak; as though you're innocent and vulnerable
Other ways you can use the hot and cold is to have contradicting personality traits
- one day you're more critical, and the next day you're more accepting with the person.
- One day you're happy, and the next day you're sad. One day you give your support to him, and the next day you disappear.
- You want to be more unpredictable. It has to come out of nowhere.
- The fences go down when people are unpredictable. He never knows what to expect next.
Source: How to Make Him Chase You Back – The Hot and Cold Formula to Make Any Man Fall by Alex From Mindful Attraction
