from under the microscope

en·tro·py (ˈentrəpē/noun)     2. lack of order or      predictability; gradual decline      into disorder.

[atomicflaw]

experxmentd:

For a moment Kurt thinks about how this could help kill the witch that destroyed his chance at a normal life with his family. To avoid being somber around Lisbeth he quickly cracks a big old grin and says “So glow sticks are the answer then! Come to think of it I have never seen a witch at a rave, it all makes sense!.” He’s trying to cheer her up sensing her discomfort towards something.

Kurt then trys to think of what they should do next, he hates seeing her feel like this and wants to help take her mind off whatever she’s sad about. Still cracking a smile and awaiting a response to his stupid joke he quickly adds on, “Hey it’s kinda smelly in here with all the chemicals on the ground, wanna go to a park or something? We could use some fresh air before our nose hairs burn out.” hoping she says yes.

Lisbeth looks at him for a long moment. Kurt was sweet to her. He was kind to her. To everyone else, he was kinda mean. Being out in public with him was sometimes scary. Taking a deep breath, she moves to stand in front of him and takes both of his hands in hers.

“Promise me you won’t get into trouble,” she says as sternly as possible. It comes out like a high whisper, breathless like she had to force it out. Which she kinda did. “People here are going to look at you differently, and I know you’re used to that, but... The students like to hang out in the park and it will probably be worse than the cafeteria.” She’s rambling, cheeks a bubblegum pink. Huffing, she lets go of his hands and heads for the door. “Come.”

[experxmentd-blog]

Kurt takes the broom and starts cleaning up his mess, Lisbeth is unable to see his cheeck redden from embarrassment. He always found some way to be a klutz around her, it had been this way since the first day they met, when walking away from meeting Lisbeth the first time, he tripped looking back at her instead of watching where he was walking. Funny how it still happened even now, he wondered if she remembered his clumsiness.

“So what have you been working on in these labs recently? any amazing break throughs? I see you have glowstick engineering down” he said with a grin, motioning over to the viles on the table beside him. He was fascinated with the stuff she was studying and couldn’t even imagine how much time and studying it would take, he couldn’t stand staying inside that long so school was always out of the question for him, getting all his edjucation from Michael and Lisbeth.

[atomicflaw]

Lisbeth decides not to hold it against him. It's not his fault he is all thumbs. She's pretty sure her dad messed up some of his wiring. Rolling her eyes at his choice of words, she picks up the glowing tubes to place them into a mini fridge behind her desk. "They had me working on a new weapon, of sorts."

Theoretically anyway. They'd needed her to discover how to kill the witches indefinitely. More than just trapping them inside objects. Sighing, she sits back down and recalls the moment her door was kicked in just a few days ago. They'd stolen all of it, all of her research. Blushing, she shrugs and looks down at her hands.

[radiantarrow]

Standing there staring at the ceiling, he could feel the heat bubbling up under his skin. It took him years to master this, to get it under control, yet still it crackled in his finger tips. The silence was shattered when he looked down at her and shouted, “I don’t know!”

Were his eyes on fire too? He wanted to let the flames engulf him, tear a hole through her roof, and fly off to anywhere else. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t she just be happy with things the way they were? No matter how hard he tried not to be, he was his father’s son. Running away from affection must have been in the family. “Love?” he scoffed, “You always have, haven’t you?”

[atomicflaw]

Seeing him in pain was just the same as being in pain herself. Lisbeth had to look away, but she could still feel his heat. It wasn't too long ago that it was all she wanted to feel. Pushing her hair behind her ears, she shuffles back from him at his infuriated tone.

"No, Leo, no," she whispers, trying to find the words to express how deeply she'd loved him and only him for years. To tell him he'd chipped away at that love with every step back he took from her. Tell him she'd wanted to love him until her last breath. "You..." There's a lump in her throat, and she's so ashamed all of a sudden. Why couldn't they make this work, if only for Mina? She didn't want to be apart of that life anymore. She didn't want her daughter to grow up wondering if the next day could be her last. "I loved you."

[atomicflaw]

"What did you expect, Leo?" The silence in the house is deafening. Kurt had taken Mina out for the day, like he usually did while Lisbeth was at work. She hadn't even had the chance to take her shoes off before Leo was knocking at the door.

Swallowing hard, she didn't dare make her way past him. Not because she was afraid of him, that would be insane. He would never do a thing to hurt her, not physically. No, she was just afraid of herself. Afraid of what she would do if she got too close. She loved Kurt, dearly, but Leo was like a drug. Just the mention of him had her longing. "I love him," she says firmly, despite how weak she is inside.

[experxmentd-blog]

“Don’t worry Lisbeth I’m here now, and I’ll always be your friend when you need me” Kurt said with a cheeky grin. He hated the thought of her being lonely, she may not like other people that much but he knew she needed conversation every once in while, at least someone who could listen to her exciting research.

Looking around the dimly lit room, he becomes transfixed on three glowing viles that cut the darkness like a knife. He glances at Lisbeth and then rushes over to them, hurrying because he knows she’ll yet at him not to touch anything, which isn’t any fun at all. He goes to touch one of the viles and knocks over a test tube that was teetering on the edge of the table, he didn’t notice it in the dark. It falls to the floor and shatters, he turns to Lisbeth and start profusely apologizing, “Shit, fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t see it there, Sorry, grab me a broom I’ll sweep it up”.

[atomicflaw]

Lisbeth blushes lightly at his words, but she's not embarrassed. Just touched. It was a nice feeling, that he still cared for her after all her years of silence. After he hadn't written her back the first couple months, she figured he'd wanted nothing to do with her after... Well, after what Patrick found them doing.

She's so lost in thought she doesn't notice him slipping towards her work. The shattering of glass brings her to the present, and she jumps in her seat. "Oh Kurt..." she whines, pushing back her chair so she can rush to where he's standing. "No, no, no."

"This is why you're not supposed to touch things," she says frustrated, pushing her hair away from her face. Standing back up, she heads into the closet a couple feet away. Finding the broom she comes back out and shoves it into his hands. “Keep your hands in your pockets after this.”

[experxmentd-blog]

As they walked out the door the smells of the Hopkins estate hits his nose once again, the biggest smell being all the angst of the students in the air. Sometimes his nose was distracting but after so many years he found ways to suppress some smell from overwhelming him. Apart from the lingering ambiet smells from all the passersbys, Kurt’s nose was being distracted by some flowery smelling perfume Lisbeth was wearing, he wasn’t a fan, her natural scent was much more apealing to him, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it, didn’t want to upset her.

“So have they crowned you queen nerd yet? Cause I don’t see your crown or septor on your person” he said sarcastically. He used to call her this grower up constantly due to her extreme intellect. Sarcasm and poking fun was the easiest way for him to communicate to Lisbeth, and she was always a good sport and never complained too much about him. He hoped she still would allow this type of talking, so he tested the waters with this comment, to see her reaction. Excitement and anticipation was also building in his mind, he new once they arrive at her lab she would catch him up on her “book learnins”.

[atomicflaw]

On the outside looking in, it might appear that Kurt was being cruel. Lisbeth knew this wasn't the case, it was just how they spoke to one another. She laughs, nose scrunching. "No they haven't. I haven't made many friends here," she says nonchalantly. It didn't hurt her feelings, but she was pretty lonely. It didn't help that everyone here pretty much knew each other from birth, as did their parents, and so on.

Heading into the east wing, she leads him to the group of labs designated for the occult scientists like her. The hallway is brightly lit, like a hospital and the tiles are a stale grey. Still, she stands out. This was her element, her confidence obviously soaring here.

"If you're nice, I'll let you play with some of my toys." Opening the room to her lab, she lets go of his finger to make a grand sweeping gesture with her arm and welcome him in. The light is lower in here, most of the overheard lights turned off. Lisbeth didn't do good with bright when she was working. It was overstimulating. Closing the door behind them, she brushes past him to sit at her lab table.

[experxmentd-blog]

God I forgot how cute she is when she eats he thinks to himself. He turns towards the register and says “Looky here missy, I’m gunna order ‘nuther one uh them there sammichs for the road” he says keeping with his fake country slur. He grabs her food basket and stacks it in his to throw in the garbage on his way to the counter. He orders his food and pays, proceeding to tap a tune on the plastic couter wit his fingers. Thinking about it he has them throw in a bag of chips and a cookie too.

He senses Lisbeth moving and glances over to see her smiling at him waiting by the door, he could stare at that smile all day if given the chance. For a moment he thinks about their childhood together but is dragged out of his daydream by the sound of the food ready bell. He grabs his paper bag filled with his dinner for the night and meets Lisbeth at the door, putting his index finger out hoping they can hold hands again like before.

[atomicflaw]

Lisbeth chooses to stand by the door in wait, awkwardly shuffling. Some hunters were still stealing glances at the werewolf, and it made her nervous. When Kurt turns to look at her again, she senses it and flashes him a wide smile. She didn't want him catching her nervous scent.

Most people didn't understand Kurt. In fact, there were only three people that did. It's not like he had much chance to connect with anyone else. Between herself, her dad, and Aunt Francine they were able to keep his childhood from being too lonely. It's not like she was doing him a kindness, she'd needed him as much as he'd needed her. Being different and being a Derringer didn't quite go well together. Her social ineptitude didn't go unnoticed by her peers, and no amount of genius could deflect that.

Warmly, she accepts his gesture and wraps her finger around his. Gives it a little tug as well, staring at their linked digits. It was hard to remind herself why they'd been separated in the first place, and how carefully she'd have to tread. It felt like just yesterday Uncle Patrick had ripped him from her, his angry red face still clear in her mind. She clears her throat and pulls him in the direction of her lab. "You'll like it here I think."

[experxmentd-blog]

Kurt lets out a small chuckle, his plan worked perfectly, and he didn’t cause a scene. He noticed the scent of anxiety lift off her, and he gave her a slight grin sitting back down. “So you gonna show me around this place some more? Tell me about all that fancy book learnings you’ve been doing?” he says in a fake country slur, he used to talk like that all the time to annoy Lisbeth. He did small things like that to take her mind off other things she might be worried or thinking about.

As he waits for her response he finishes his sandwhich in huge bites. He considered maybe getting another for dinner that night, they may have messed up Lisbeth’s sandwhich but his was perfect. He wipes the crumbs off his shirt and mouth, he never was the cleanest of eaters, but he never cared about it. Toying with the idea of ordering one to go he stays at Lisbeth awaiting for her to finish her food so she can command him what she wants to do next.

[atomicflaw]

Lisbeth picks apart her cookie, not because she doesn't like it, but because she likes to eat her cookies in sections. Edges first. Center last. She munches, crumbs at the corner of her mouth. "Book learnings?" she giggles, trying to cover her mouth so none of her cookie falls out. She wasn't exactly house broken either.

She smiles at him, all big and bright, with her lips pursed to keep her cookie in. After a swallow, she answers him, "I want to show you my lab. It's so cool. Dad was right, they have the more advanced equipment here." There's a couple onions left on his plate, and absentmindedly she reaches over and pops them in her mouth. Quickly she chases it with cookie, liking the odd flavor combination but mostly enjoying the double crunch.

[experxmentd-blog]

Kurt knew what she was doing, changing the subject so fast, but it worked, to his dismay, and made him realize causing a scene would put a lot of eyes on him which he didn’t need right now. Also not wanting to upset Lisbeth further, he decided to play a joke on her, she used to get so mad when he would yell at resturant workers for messing her food up, that she wouldnt go back to those places if he wasn’t taking her. So to mess with her a little he stomped up to the counter and heard her do a small gasp, too cute, he thought. When the employee walked over he just stared at him for a minute, fists clenched, he knew Lisbeth couldn’t see his face which was perfect for what he was about to do.

He quietly buys a white macadamia nut cookie, he knew this was he favorite, the crunchiest cookies place like that usually had. But he made his voice sound as if he was being aggressive, he could sense Libeth’s dread, and was anticipating the look on her face. He quickly glances back at her with his signature shit faced grin. All very steathily he pays and slips the cookie in his back pocket as turning, so she doesn’t see it. He approaches her, sporting a grumpy face, then before she says anything he pulls out the cookie and says “Macadamia still your fave?”.

[atomicflaw]

This was a nightmare. She forgot how bad this could get. She watches in horror as he approaches the employee, sucking in her breath and wiggling in her chair. "Oh no, no, no," she whispers, hands on her face ready to hide.

There was no way she would be able to come back here without him now and she didn't want him to stay here watching her for years to come. He's all hunched shoulders and clenched fists and she knows that tilt of his head, and the face he's probably wearing. Pretty soon she'll hear the growling, and see his nails cutting through his own palms in anger. Wriggling more in her seat, she looks around for nearby exits. They were surrounded by hunters, if he wolfed out she would have to get him out of here quick and- She stares at the cookie he offers her and very slowly, huffs. "You... That wasn't nice." Her bottom lip pokes out as she takes the cookie.

[experxmentd-blog]

Kurt unwraps his sandwhich and takes a humongous bite, eating like he hadn’t in days, this was the first meal he didn’t have to hunt for he’d had in a while, being extremely careful tailing Lisbeth meant making sure noboy in the area knew he existed. Second bite into his sandwhich he senses something wrong with Lisbeth, he looks up at her briefly to catch her making a slight face, and attempting to stealthily inspect her sandwhich. Growing up she would always do this, not give verbal complaint if the food wasn’t to her liking, he hated when she did it too, and didn’t want her to ever suffer in silence, even over something as small as a improperly made sandwhich.

Kurt feels his anger slowly building with a familiar warmth in his chest. That sandwhich prick, how hard is it to make a fucking sandwhich? he thinks to himself, this isn’t the first time this had happened to Lisbeth’s food in his presence. He slowly stands up attempting to keep some type of composure or Lisbeth will figure out what he’s about to do. He quickly glances at the register to comfirm the employee is still there, then turns his eyes to Lisbeth’s sandwhich. “Let me see that sandwhich, I’ll go get a new one for you”, he says with the fakest smile he can muster. He has to remind himself not to get too worked up or he’ll transform, and that would blow his cover entirely. He waits for Lisbeth to hand him the sandwhich, hoping she doesn’t realize whats coming to the sandwhich employee, or she would stop him before he could speak his mind.

[atomicflaw]

Lisbeth curses at herself for not being more sneaky. Then again, she's sure he would have figured it out pretty quickly. Her face doesn't hide much. She stutters, sliding the sandwich closer to herself. "Oh that's alright. It's good, Kurt. Really."

If he went up there now, he was bound to cause a scene. She didn't believe his smile for a second. It'd always been like this between them. Her father made it clear when he was raising Kurt; protecting Lisbeth was the utmost priority. When he was Beast, and when he was Kurt. Over Nessie, over Patrick, over anyone. He took it quite literally. "Onions will just make my breath smell anyway," she begins to rant, tearing at the paper lining her plate. "And I am going to start student teaching a class soon, you see. And what if I have to talk to the students? Like up close, and personal and I gross them out on my first day?"

[experxmentd-blog]

Shit, he thinks, he wants to play this cool as possible, he wasn’t expecting physical contact so soon after being reunited. He puts on his best slyest smile he could muster, and links his finger with hers, and starts following her lead to the sandwich shop. For a moment he struggles to keep in step, as she is much shorter than him, after shortening his strides, he is in sync with Lisbeth’s steps, and it felt good, it felt so good to be walking beside his childhood friend again.

As they walk in the sandwhich shop, he stops Lisbeth and says, “Go sit down and I’ll order and pay, my treat” ending in a slight grin. He orders her a sandwich with maximun crunch, just how she likes it, extra onions, extra lettuce, extra peppers, and he had to reiterate the extra, because he knew how often the employees would fuck it up. For himself he simply said, “Toss every type of meat you have on there, and add some onions too”. He pays at the register and brings over the completed sandwhiches with two cups of water. He’s now excitingly anxious to see her reaction to him remembering her favorite sandwich, hoping to earn him some kudo points from her.

[atomicflaw]

Lisbeth likes how easy it is to walk with him again. She has no trouble following his much longer gait, not even noticing how he shortens it to keep time with her. She's excited to show him everything about the Estate. To show him her lab, the lake in the woods, and all of her favorite little hiding spots. It would be nice to have a friend again.

As they step foot into the shop, she can feel eyes on her. Suspicious, curious about the man beside her. She wonders if they could tell what he was. If some of the older hunters just knew, in the way that they always did. Did they know he was the Derringer's pet wolf?

His words break her from her thoughts and she nods with a half smile, giving his finger a tug before letting go. She didn't want him to walk through these people alone. Maybe he could handle himself physically but... Well, that was part of the problem. The last thing they needed was him picking a fight. She finds a booth in one of the corners of the shop, away from prying eyes. When he finds her with their food, she perks up a bit. "You remembered," she says quietly, sweetly. Picking up her sandwich, she takes a healthy bite. And then tries her best to hide her disappointment. Were there any onions in this? She tries to sneak a peek between the slices without him noticing.

[experxmentd-blog]

Kurt, almost sighing with relief that the situation was loosing it’s tentsion gave Lisbeth one of his signature shit face grins, hoping to make her smile in return. He knew the road ahead would be hard but hopefully she would allow him to help her with protection, or just being there to talk to if she needed to vent about anything, he was more than happy to listen, he yearned for it after being apart so long. He hoped she would warm up to him, and he was excited to help her with anything he heart desired.

He whimsically said, “wanna go grab a bite to eat?” to break the silence after her apology, hoping that some food might help ease her into the idea of him being around. God he wished for things to go right back to where it was before she left, he had so many things to say to her, to apologize for the kiss… and to explain why he had not contacted her in those 6 long years they spent apart. He knew with enought patience he could once again gain her trust and pick up where they left off, best friends who could share anything with each other.

[atomicflaw]

Of course he wasn't upset with her. Her face scrunches in amusement at his expression. "Yeah, okay," she nods, stretching out her hand but only offering her pointer finger. Linking fingers was easier than holding hands, at least for her. Less touching, but it kept them connected.

"They have a sandwich bar," she informs him happily. Would he remember that sandwiches were her favorite? That it was the easiest meal to make crunchy, and that's the only way she could eat it? Was six years long enough to forget all your best friend's ticks and oddities? Not for her, her impecable memory would never let her forget.

[experxmentd-blog]

He was shocked, he had played this out in his head a million times and never once thought he’d hear Lisbeth say, “Go Home”. His stomach felt sour for a brief moment, but he focused in on the task at hand. He calmly but sternly replied, “Lisbeth you know I can’t do that… just look at you, all banged up, lets get you an ice pack for that bump on your head”. He didn’t want to be stern with her right now, but she was making it difficult for him not to, Michael made it very clear, protect Lisbeth, and right now she especially needed his protection.

He hoped that the shock of the attack and his sudden apearence was the reason she was being hostile towards him. He decided if this was not the case we would return to tailing her closer, but being more careful to cover his tracks when doing so, as to not make her suspicious like last time. But that was a last resort, one he really hoped he wouldnt have to do, he missed Lisbeth so much and just wanted to talk to her like they were teenagers again, carefree and understanding.

[atomicflaw]

Lisbeth shuffles from one foot to the next, over and over until she gets frustrated with herself. She hated that this was so hard for her, conversation in general much less confrontation. "I'm not a little kid," she continues as if speaking to herself.

"I can do this on my own, I've been doing it for six years, and I don't need..." Huffing in frustration, she looks up at him finally. When their eyes meet, it's almost painful. Like a stinging in her chest. She'd missed him. "I'm sorry," she breathes, realizing how bratty she sounds. It's not like Kurt had a choice in the matter, it was her father she should be mad at. Both for not coming himself, and for thinking she'd need a chaperone.

[atomicflaw]

experxmentd:

Kurt was speechless at first, this was his first time in 6 years being face to face with Lisbeth. And after tailing her like Michael had asked, this moment was seemed like it would never come, and now that it did, he didn’t know what to say. After thinking for a moment about how his cover had been compromised he quietly exclaims “shit” underneath his breath.

Noticing his mistake, he changed his demeanor and quickly explained to her. “Your father couldn’t leave his research so he sent me to protect you, he thought you might enjoy a familiar face,” he ended with a grin hoping that would cut down the awkwardness at least a little bit. After all he had been waiting to see her for so long, and was so eager to hear everything he’d missed in the last six years of her life, he just wanted so bad cut past the awkward explaination stage and pick up right where they left off.

His coarse language gave her a startle, her hands twitching to smooth the skirt of her dress in order to try to hide it. Still, he noticed. Of course he did. She looks from side to side, people milling about them without a clue as to how nerve wracking this interaction was. Across the quad she spots Leo, his arm around his girlfriend as they head out of class. They lived in separate worlds, him and she.

"Sounds like Dad," she murmurs, giving him a twitch of a grin. She's mad about it. Very mad. She didn't need a babysitter back then, and she didn't need one now. It was at that thought that the bruise spreading across her face began to twinge, as if mocking her. Tilting her head in an attempt to hide it, she continues, "Well I'm fine. So you can go home."

[atomicflaw]

Strange, how you can know someone all your life and yet still have no idea how to talk to them. Lisbeth counts the tiles between them in her head, eyes stopping at his feet and then counting backward towards her own. "So Dad couldn't come himself then?" she asks quietly, barely above a whisper. Maybe that was a good place to start. Somewhere familiar when they were here in this unfamiliar place. Out of place.

[so-unholy]

the bravest thing i know the only thing that really matters

[metadefumaca]