give me advice pls
I am a 20 year old woman who is currently dating a woman. I've known my girlfriend for six years and we started dating six months ago. Idk if I fully identify as a lesbian but I love my girlfriend very much. My parents pretty much know that I like women, although i've not expressively told them that. My sister in law made a joke to my mom once about me liking women and my mother (apparently) responded with a "Well NOW someone is telling me". I mentioned it to my father once as an off hand joke when he asked me if my type of guy was like the tattooed man serving us at a restaurant (I said my type of guy was more like a girl) but it has not come up since then. I was sexually abused by a series of males throughout my childhood. I told my parents and school counselor about the abuse when I was 13 and we went through some legal nonsense, in which the state government selectively decide to prosecute the abusers that made my parents suffer more (idk if that was the state's line of thinking, but thats how it happened). Honestly, I just wanted to see a shrink because I was having issues, I didn't want any sort of punishment for my abusers. Now, I am faced with a quandary of actually talking to my parents about my sexuality and my relationship with my girlfriend and them blaming themselves more by thinking my aversion to sexual relationships with males is caused by my childhood experiences and that it is their fault I'm queer. We live in the southern US and although my parents are fine with some of my friends and relatives who lean towards liking the same sex, I know that it is a completely different thing when it is your own child. So my questions: How do you tell your parents that you're dating someone, several months after the fact? Is there a way I can tell my parents without them jumping to the "we caused this" mentality (but also not inserting that idea into their heads if they haven't already thought of it)? Why is sexuality so freaking difficult? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you
