b̶i̶g̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶c̶r̶y̶

mother of dragons daughters && peace keeper don't be afraid of alone you'll get it done on your own

[bowieshore]

“If I sink the black ball with this shot,” Bowie explains, gesturing to the only ball left on the pool table that stood between him and victory, “You buy me drinks for the rest of the night. If I fail, besides the eternal shame that would bring to my already shameful family name, I’ll buy for you. You in or you scared?”

[aubreylightfoot]

“ i am in . ” aubrey responds with a smile enjoying the time she is spending with her step - son . despite not actually marrying jimmy , and despite not being with jimmy anymore , she still saw bowie as that : family . “ don’t forget i learnt from the master . ” over the years aubrey has watched and learnt from bowie on how to play , taking a keen interest in his hobbies which also included the skateboarding .

“ i should be asking if you scared . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

mila + aubrey

mila: if i was to have an event at the club, what would you like to see? any theme? obv. one that fits dungeon, I'm not about to go COMPLETELY off brand, but i'm open to ideas.

mila: throw them at me!

Aubrey: ooh how about girls night ? is that too cliche ?

[aubreylightfoot]

lennoxlee​:

“I always use red onions when cooking a bolognese.. I guess my mum used to say they contained more iron or something so i’ve always stuck with that.” Lennox shrugged as he stood beside Aubrey, glaring over the various vegetables that this particular farmer kept stocked. “I think white onions have thinner skins too..” He paused for a second, chuckling at himself. “Check me out aye, the next Gordon Ramsay..”

aubrey smiles gratefully at the stranger who is giving her advice, noting the english accent at the same time . she nods and picks up a red onion .

“ red it is . thank you so much . ” she laughs lightly . “ the one that always swears at people right ? ” aubrey asks . “ i think you sound much nicer than him . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

theaspenbarris​:

Aspen shrugged. “I’m trying to think.. Less pain and more.. I don’t even know anymore Aubrey. This really hurts.. I was planning on asking him to move in with me. I hadn’t even told anyone yet. But I was ready for that next step.. And then.. He just.. Poof..” she did a little gesture with her hand. “He was gone. Before I’d even woken up.” she frowned, wiping her face just to catch any stray tears.  She gave Aubrey a weak smile. She honestly adored the woman. “Good to know. Cheese. I love cheese. So.. If that can cure a broken heart. I’ll eat until I turn into gouda or something…” a weak smile, but it was better than the crying, or so she thought.

She nodded. She knew how much the girls were struggling but she’d hoped they’d opened up to Aubrey, they were lucky to have her, so talking to their mom must help right. “I get that. I think.. We all need time to.. Hate Jimmy a little.. Is that weird? Am I allowed to say that?” she frowned. “I’m more angry at him than I am at Hol’ which.. I don’t know if you agree with me.. But she’s.. She’s my family you know? I love her.”

“Do… Do you think you’ll ever forgive them both?”

“ i know . ” aubrey’s heart breaks for the younger woman and she reaches out to hold her hand tightly . “ i know it’s so difficult but think about the things you’re saying to me about how i’m strong and apply those thoughts to you too . you’re strong and love hurts but heartbreak helps to teach you what you deserve in life . ”

aubrey returns aspen’s weak smile . “ i’m upset at jimmy for a lot of reasons . his moving on with someone else is just another one of those things . ” she replies . “ there was a lot more wrong with our relationship than anybody knows . i don’t have any reason to hold a grudge against holland . but please don’t hate jimmy on my behalf . you don’t need that in your life . he’s still your agent . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

inkonig​:

♚

his small, cluttered kitchenette might not be the best suited to cooking actual meals ( he’ll confess, he’s spent far more time at the golden griddle than he has in front of his own stovetop )  but that hasn’t stopped theo from still trying to utilize it from time to time. with the holidays fast approaching, he;s been wanting to do something for the small, tight-knit group at king ink; catering was an option he’d considered, but christ if he didn’t talk himself out of it just thinking about what his oma would’ve thought if she knew he was outsourcing thanksgiving to a restaurant and not actually cooking for his work family.

 and so he finds himself at the farmer’s market, of all locations, feeling so wholly out of his element ( and wondering why he hadn’t just opted for the discount grocery down the street ) as he browses stalls in search of ingredients for a meal that, if he’s being perfectly honest, he hasn’t even entirely planned out. theo pauses at a stand with a sizeable assortment of vegetables — some of which he’s not even sure he’s sure he’s seen before, in spite of his amateur chef-ing endeavors — and he’s gazing blankly at an arrangement of multicolored carrots and wondering if he’s a bit in over his head when a voice catches his attention and he looks up curiously, gaze landing on the woman he can only guess has asked. 

❝ to be perfectly honest, i wasn’t at all prepared to be asked a question as i’ve already got a few of my own, ❞ he admits with a chuckle and a light shake of his head as he looks between her and the stand.  ❝ but i think — don’t get mad at me if i’m wrong here because i’m only kind of sure, i think the red ones have a sweeter flavor. any other discernable differences and your guess is as good as mine. ❞  

aubrey is glad she’s not the only one perplexed by the goods on offer . it makes her feel less inadequate as a person .

“ maybe we can help each other out then . ” she replies , inching closer to the man who responded to her . she chooses the red onion upon his comment of them being sweeter and selects a red pepper too soley because they’re technically classed as the same color .

“ what questions do you have ?  like i said , my ex is the one who used to cook and he did tell me a few things . maybe i can help . ” she looks down at the onion and pulls a face . “ or maybe not if i can’t tell the difference between a red and white onion . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

marlasamuels​:

“Honestly either works, but I’d go for white or yellow. They fry better with the bolognese meat than red,” she tells Aubrey, grabbing a couple bulbs of garlic for herself. “Are you cooking it from scratch?” 

“ i have a jar of sauce that i picked up from the supermarket , ” aubrey explains with a shake of her head . “ i don’t think i would even know where to begin with cooking from scratch . ” she takes a white onion , thankful that her friend is there to offer some guidance . “ taxes i can do but cooking gets me every time . i can make snacks no problem . if you want ants on a log i’m your girl but anything else ... ” she trails off . “ jimmy always insisted on cooking and called it being romantic , now look where i am . ” she jokes .

[aubreylightfoot]

holland-mitchell​:

.

Holland decided to answer honestly, whether or not she should. There was no guidebook for that sort of thing, no Talking to Your Baby Daddy’s Ex About His Gambling Problems for Beginners. She cleared her throat, stared down into her cup of tea. 

“Yes and no,” she said. “He’s gotten himself a lot of help,” Holland told her, hoping maybe that information might be comforting to the woman. Any other woman would’ve wanted Jimmy to be struggling, but Holland knew Aubrey better than that. The woman still cared about Jimmy’s well-being, she likely always would. Holland respected that. “Things have been … particularly stressful lately. He’s had his moments. But he’s trying. I think he’s genuinely trying,” Holland allowed. 

I was in your place once. 

That hit Holland harder than any insult ever could. 

Jimmy’s romantic history worried Holland more than the gambling. The thought that he could leave at any second, find someone like her, move on, start himself over yet again – it kept her up nights. She was all but convinced it was coming one day. It was why she’d pushed Jimmy away for the past month, why she’d likely keep trying to push him away. 

“Well, we’re not – we’re not together,” Holland said. “Not really. He’s living in my house. I asked him to, so he could help me out. But, you know, we decided for now it’s probably better that we – that we just focus on everything else going on,” Holland said, not wanting to shine a spotlight on the fact that Ingrid had specifically asked them to stop dating, that Holland was simply following the request of a twenty-year-old, letting her anxiety control every decision she made. If her heart was in control? Holland would be with Jimmy. Even if it terrified her, even if she was certain he’d leave, she’d still be with him. It was pathetic. 

“I’m more than prepared to do this alone,” Holland admitted, saying it aloud for the first time. “When I first found out I thought – I thought maybe I would do it alone. I thought maybe it’d be easier that way, for everyone.” Holland had no idea why she was being so blatantly honest with Aubrey, but it felt good. “Jimmy’s involvement is always going to be his decision. And I’m prepared for whatever he choses,” Holland said. It’d hurt, yes, but Holland was utterly and unbelievably prepared for any scenario life threw her way, including single parenthood. 

“ I guess what I want to say is – I want to stay in Silver Lake. I want to – I have to. My parents are here,” she said. Two big chunks of marble that refused to be moved. “I’m going to stay. Whatever he does, I’m here. And I just – I don’t want to live in this town without knowing that I apologized to you for all of it. I don’t know if that’s selfish. I – I really have no idea what I’m doing here.” Sitting there trying desperately to explain herself, Holland felt more like a dumb little kid than she had in years. 

.

she supposes it’s something to hear that jimmy is getting help but she can’t help wishing she had been the one to get through to him how important it was to get help . had she not been enough ? why has it taken holland mitchell two minutes to do what aubrey had struggled with for years ? she isn’t stupid and she knew about the gambling long before she confronted jimmy about it .

" well i’m glad you’ve managed to get him to see some sense . ” aubrey hadn’t meant for it to come across so quippy , but she is upset and confused about what holland has that she does not . “ he lost his home , his children , his money and his 25 - year relationship but the younger redhead comes along and he decides he wants to change . ”

the last thing she wants is to break in front of holland of all people but she cannot help it . it’s all too much for her . aubrey wipes her tears from her eyes and shakes her head . “ you don’t need to be the one apologizing to me or to anybody . i know what he’s like . i know what he is capable of doing , how he makes you feel like you’re the only woman he’s ever loved . ”

aubrey wants to grab holland and shake her , tell her to get out now while she can . she could be in aubrey’s position years down the line if she isn’t careful .

“ i’m sorry . i’m lashing out . this isn’t fair to you . i shouldn’t put this on you . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

maxence-a​:

-

“I can tell,” Maxence teased lightheartedly, noting her slight stagger as she moved back to her seat. Truth be told, he knew he wouldn’t be much better at this point in the night, but it felt fun and easy to banter with this pretty redhead. He had seen her earlier on in the night, not knowing how he recognized her until he went to introduce himself. He’d seen her on Jimmy’s arm at some event or other, which explained where he had seen her before. She very briefly mentioned her situation (though he was certain she was leaving out most details considering they were little more than strangers), which explained what she was doing here. Some drinks later and now Maxence was throwing as bad a shot as Aubrey’s. “Okay, how about we just call it a tie?’ He suggested, a goofy smile spread across his lips before taking a sip from the mixed drink he’d ordered. “We can play a game that requires… less coordination?’

“ okay . ” aubrey responds with a smile and a nod before she finishes her drink and places with the ice in the glass with her straw . “ what do you want to play instead ? ” she looks around the bar unsure what else there is that they could play . “ we could people watch ? ” she suggests . “ i like to play related or dating . you look at a couple and try and decide if they’re related to each other or dating . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

genitoperfection​:

For once, Geni didn’t have her little shadow with her and was free to fill up her bags with as many things as she could. Even though it was her night off, she was making dinner for friends and wandered towards a stall filled with peppers and onions. Her head tilted as she tried to decide just which ingredients she wanted to include; surprised when the other woman beside her started to talk. 

“White. Or yellow onion,” Geni tells her decisively, glancing over at her with a smile. “Red onions aren’t really meant to be sautéed and cooked like that. Plus, they’re sweet and have more flavor. It wouldn’t go with a bolognese sauce,” she told her. She sighed a little then, thinking of her own ex and the things she’d had to do once they’d broken up. It could be an unexpected learning curve being on your own after a relationship. “Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. As long as you know some basics.”

aubrey nods , listening intently as the woman beside her answers her question . it seems she knows a lot about cooking - or at least about onions .

“ i used to watch him sometimes but i usually got banished for getting in the way . ” aubrey recalls . it’s a shame that memories that were once fond were now filled with sadness . she looks down at the onion in her hand and places it into a paper bag . “ thank you . at least i knew i needed an onion so that’s a start !! are you much good at cooking ? ”

[aubreylightfoot]

theaspenbarris​:

Aspen nodded. She knew what Aubrey was going through. One minute you were fine and then the next you were crying inside Trader Joes, looking like an absolute idiot.  “It’s okay. Like. We’re hurting.. And we’re going to take some time to heal.. And like.. You and Jimmy had a life together so it must be harder than what I’m going through.. But you’re so strong Aubrey and an inspiration so like. Please don’t doubt yourself..” she leaned forward taking her hand and squeezing it. “You’ll get through this.. This too will pass and all that..” she smiled warmly and looked for a waiter. “Cheese fries?” making an executive decision. “You don’t look like you’ve put on anything.. You look stunning..”

“How are the girls? Work?”

“ all break ups are different but that doesn’t stop them from hurting . ” aubrey tells aspen . she doesn’t want aspen to think that just because she and jimmy were together for longer that the pain aspen felt was any less important . she smiles at aspen and nods squeezing her hand back . “ cheese fries always heals a broken heart . ” aubrey confirms . “ when i was 18 my first love broke up with me and i lived off cheese fries . anything cheese really . mac and cheese . cheese on it’s own. cheese from a can . ”

“ the girls are okay i think . as okay as they can be . i hate how hard this is on them . i know they’re adults but i’m trying to protect them from as much of the ugly truth as possible . i don’t want them to think their dad is a monster you know ? ” aubrey shouldn’t really be talking to aspen about it either but sometimes she sees her as a sister rather than a daughter figure .

[aubreylightfoot]

jimmyshore​:

Jimmy followed Aubrey into the living room, looking around at the place, seeing how she decorated it all. She had always been very into the lighter colours and their bedroom at the old house had been similar. It was a nice bit of familiarity. 

He sat down, letting Aubrey stay seating. He wasn’t about to fight with her on that. 

“Um… So…” He fidgeted on the couch, rubbing the back of his head. There was no easy way for him to say this and he figured he might as well bite the bullet… “So I know… we’ve not been apart long but I… ” Jimmy couldn’t look her in the eye as he told her. “I’m seeing somebody new. Um. It’s… it’s all very new and I don’t–” Jimmy shook his head, eyebrows twitching in a frown. “It’s Holland… Holland Mitchell.” But that wasn’t the worst of it. And Aubrey was going to find out soon.

“She’s pregnant.”

whatever jimmy has come to tell aubrey she never imagines it’s what he finally tells her . he stumbles over his words ( of course he does ) and finally admits that he’s seeing somebody . aubrey brings a hand up to her mouth as her stomach lurches and she feels like she might throw up . they have been apart for a few months at the most and now he has moved on ? with holland mitchell of all people .

she sits down as jimmy reveals the finale of his destruction . she’s pregnant . of course she is . he’s never been slow in moving on . aubrey should have seen it coming . there is a silence between them . jimmy is clearly waiting for aubrey to say something but she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do . is she supposed to congratulate him ?

“ oh jimmy . ” aubrey doesn’t realise she’s crying until her voice breaks . deep down aubrey wants to scream at him and ask him why he’s come to tell her this but she can’t . she doesn’t matter but their children do . “ do the girls know ? does bowie ? ”

[aubreylightfoot]

AUBREYLIGHTFOOT posted a photo →

who doesn’t love a kitchen photoshoot with their girls to make themself feel better ? @sofiaxshore @ingrid-shore

[aubreylightfoot]

holland-mitchell​:

.

Holland followed Aubrey into her home, the whole time taking in little details – paint colours, throw pillows, all the things Aubrey knew to use to make a house a home. Holland’s house felt bare compared to Aubrey’s, and the other woman had only been living on Redcliff for a few months. That was one thing Holland admired about Aubrey – she knew how to make a place feel inviting, whether it be by soft colours and fabrics, or by her welcoming demeanour. Holland felt she had a lot to learn. 

She sat herself on the couch opposite Aubrey, her hands folding together in her lap.“Thank you,” Holland said, on her best behaviour around Aubrey as she always had been, as long as they knew each other. “You seriously didn’t have to do all this. It’s too kind.” Thinking Aubrey might need something to keep herself busy, Holland accepted a cup of tea nonetheless, and watched as the other woman began to futz with the teapot. 

Her eyes locked on Aubrey’s working hands, Holland felt comfortable enough to talk. She was nervous, yes, but not looking Aubrey in the face made things a hell of a lot easier. 

“I know Jimmy talked to you,” Holland started. “Told you what’s going on.”

“I wanted to come here to apologize,” Holland said, flat out. She was getting better at saying sorry, whether that meant owning up to mistakes she made three months ago, a year ago, or in the last twenty-eight years of her life. She was learning. Slowly but surely, Holland was figuring out how to be decent. Honest.

“I know it – I know it sounds ridiculous coming from me right now, but I just – I need you to know that I respect you,” realizing only then how ridiculous it actually was. Aubrey had no reason to believe her, no evidence to support Holland’s claim. “So much. I’ve always respected you. And you didn’t deserve what Jimmy did to you. You didn’t deserve your relationship to end like that. You didn’t deserve any of it. And now – you don’t deserve this. You really don’t. That’s rich coming from me – considering everything – but you don’t. You were never anything but good and we took advantage of that.” 

“I’m sorry that I –” Holland breathed in deep. “I’m sorry that I saw it coming and I didn’t stop him. After you two broke up, he was so upset, and so lonely, and I should’ve known better. I should’ve turned him away and I didn’t.” Holland nodded. “And then I should’ve stopped it. I should’ve done a lot of things that I didn’t. I’m just –  I’m just here to tell you that I’m sorry.” 

.

there are many things aubrey wants to say to holland as she talks but she keeps herself silent until she’s finished . it’s nice of holland to apologize for what has happened but holland is telling her things she already knows . aubrey knows she doesn’t deserve what jimmy is doing to her but he’s doing it anyway .

so jimmy had gone to holland . he is the one who initiated the relationship . and that hurts aubrey more than she thought it would . she is trying hard to blink back the tears as they well up in her eyes , holding onto the cup in her hands tightly . her heart aches . yes it was her decision to end their relationship finally but deep down she once had hope that he would come back and fight again . instead it seemed he went elsewhere to the next young impressionable redhead .

“ is he still gambling ? ” aubrey asks . she’s surprised at the question leaving her mouth but it’s one she’s wanted the answer to since she asked him to leave . aubrey’s eyes flick to holland’s stomach and she sniffles , wiping her eyes . “ thank you for apologizing but i don’t think you’re the one who should be saying sorry . i was in your place once , hoping that his ex - wife didn’t hate me because he moved on so fast with me . ” aubrey shakes her head and lets out a sad laugh . “ i should have seen it coming . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

phedova​:

The situation was so messed up and as much as Ophelia wants to tell Aubrey about the things exchanged between her and Jimmy, the need to protect her aunt and sisters from that kind of bullshit was stronger. She doesn’t want to make things worse for any of them, especially the girls. “Auntie Aubs, assholes don’t die that easily.” the blonde murmured, “Yeah, you know – that shit got him away with a lot of things, but it shouldn’t anymore. He’s not the only reason you should be happy. You have the girls, Bowie, me… we can figure it out together.” half smiling at her, Ophelia shrugs. “I’m good. We’re good. She’s in the no mommy phase and Dallas finds it adorable. I wonder how he’ll like it when she tells him about the boyfriend she has at the park.” 

“ i know . ” aubrey musters a smile but the sadness she feels is there in her eyes . phe is right there is so much more to be happy about . all she had to do was learn to stop missing the man she had fallen in love with 25 years ago . it’s nice to hear about chloe though and aubrey perks up as phe talks about her daughter . “ she has a boyfriend at the park !! lucky her , i hope he’s kind to her and i’m sure she knows what to do if he isn’t . i’m sure you taught her all about standing up for herself . ” aubrey smiles . “ if you ever need a babysitter you know where i am . i come highly recommended . ” she jokes .

[aubreylightfoot]

theaspenbarris​:

Aspen was already sat at the table in the little bistro she’d chosen for her and Aubrey. It was a little out of the way so they wouldn’t bump into anyone and the two women could catch up. It was weird, someone she looked up to so much going through the same thing as she was - but that was probably why Aubrey had reached out, having heard the news from one of the girls. And she was grateful for that, her real mom just sent her a box of expensive chocolates and that was it. Aubrey cared.

“No.. You should totally go for it - I’ve literally been eating Ben & Jerrys for dinner most nights so I actually need something healthy but you go for it, that way if I do get jealous I can always steal a few from your plate..” she replied with a cheeky grin, it dropping instantly at the question and shrugged.  “I mean… I… Don’t know? Honestly.. Some days I’m okay.. Other days.. I feel… Less than okay.. What about you?”

it’s nice to have somebody going through the same situation even though the scenario is unpleasent to experience . aubrey doesn’t feel so alone . she nods at aspen’s reply .

“ about the same . i always think it’s getting better and then it hits me all over again . ” aubrey lets out a breath , playing with her bangs . “ well i’ve put on about 10lbs if that tells you anything . ” she rolls her eyes . “ i feel silly . after everything that’s happened i miss him but i know i could never take him back . even before hearing he has moved on . everything that he’s done i could never forgive that . it’s like i’m stuck in limbo . ”

[aubreylightfoot]

This is a shout out to my ex , heard he in love with some other chick , yeah yeah , that hurt me , I'll admit , forget that boy , I'm over it I hope she gettin' better sex , hope she ain't fakin' it like I did , babe , took four long years to call it quits , forget that boy , I'm over it

[connectivitty-blog]

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