life drawing; male nude in the studio of bonnat (1877), laurits regner tuxen / brideshead revisited (2008), dir. julian jarrold

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@audreyhheart
life drawing; male nude in the studio of bonnat (1877), laurits regner tuxen / brideshead revisited (2008), dir. julian jarrold
I just finished reading Flightless Bird and it was honestly one of the best things I have read in years. I really related to your characterisation of Harry as I myself have been a victim of abuse. You have a real talent and deserve a lot of success. Thank you for such an inspiring story.
I feel terrible that that happened to you. It shouldn’t happen to anyone... I hope you are doing okay now.
Thank you for reading FB. It means so much to me that you connected with Harry, and that the fic brought you some comfort ❤️
Hello lovei really really really enjoyed your victorian boy book it's the best thing I have ever read so I was wondering if you could make a hardcopy?
Sorry, I have no plans to self-publish the book in its current form. But I’m so happy you enjoyed it. Thank you for your interest!
François-Xavier Fabre (1766-1737), The Death of Abel (1790)
oil on canvas
About TDA. I haven't been so moved by a book in such a long time. I binged it this weekend, telling myself it was time to get to it as I'd been around since the book began. I'm glad I waited. I got to experience the thrill. Audrey, dear, you made me weep uncontrollably during Epilogus. I had to turn away and sob into my pillow for five whole minutes before I could finish. I wept another fifteen when it was over. This is something to treasure forever.
Thank you for coming back to it! 💕 Most readers read TDA as it was being updated, so it’s nice to know that it worked for you as a whole. I’m touched that the story affected you so deeply. It’s more than I could have hoped for.
why classics...?
I hope this isn’t an inconvenience, but I just wanted to know if you could give me some writing tips. You see I just really admire your writing and it’s like your fluent in the art of word if that makes sense..... I’m trying to write a historical fiction and just have been down on myself, I just don’t think I’m good enough. Just some writing tips would be a great help, I hope you are healthy and safe.
I'm not an expert by any means but in my experience there are no shortcuts. You have to read a lot, write a lot and fail A LOT before you actually start producing something you're proud of.
The biggest mistake I made starting out was not giving myself room to grow and enjoy the process. I wrote with the intention of publishing and/or gaining a readership. I was entirely focused on the final product, the end result. That mindset is neither healthy nor helpful.
My advice is to reframe the question. Instead of searching for writing tips, I would ask myself, what am I obsessed with? What am I excited to learn more about? What types of characters intrigue me? Why?
If you follow your own natural curiosity and passion, the process becomes fun and less discouraging. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to allow yourself to experiment and make mistakes.
Best of luck with your writing, and stay safe! ❤️
Um Ik this might be weird but I just wanted to say, I hope your okay and healthy. Your books are just glorious and you are just so talented I pray you go places and succeed in life, because you deserve to. I really wish to one day be as talented in writing as you. Have a good day and be safe, can’t wait for you next project ,TDA was my favorite💕
I’m doing okay! Grateful for your message during these trying times. Hope you’re well. Thank you so much for reading and supporting my books, especially TDA 😭 I’m overwhelmed.
Hi! i am back. i was the anon requesting a roy/harry scene. i understand your reasons for not wanting to. just wanted to say that i recently was gifted a victorian charm bracelet and one of the charms is a heart w/ roy engraved on it. made me think of your fic haha
That’s so cute! 😍 Sounds like something Frederick would wear 😏
Everything you've written is gold. Recently I read TDA in one sitting and cried. I listened to music while reading and now I'm listening to it again and remembering how your writing made me feel. It's amazing the way you made me fall in love with your characters and your storytelling. You're so talented, I hope you keep writing and sharing! I wish you nothing but the best!
Thank you for your kind words about TDA! I’m so happy the story moved you. It’s the first piece of original fiction I’ve shared so that means a lot. I’ve been trying to start a new project during lockdown but I’m having a crisis of confidence. This message gives me hope.
Reclining Nude, Ron Griswold, oil on panel
A few months ago @darkness-befriended kindly recommended The Power of the Dog by Thomas Savage, and I later learned that the novel is being adapted into a Netflix film with Benedict Cumberbatch. I can't think of a more perfect Phil! Kodi Smit-McPhee is playing Peter, another excellent casting choice.
This book is a treasure. Nobody writes like this anymore, with such studied characterization (Phil is modelled on Savage's own step-uncle), and profound sense of place (1920s Montana, where the author was raised). Savage understands his subject inside and out but more importantly, he understands people, their thoughts and their souls. Phil Burbank is one of the most layered characters I've ever read, full of contradictions: poor manners with a fine pedigree, a brutish cattle rancher with a keen intellect, unspeakably cruel but ultimately sympathetic. A riddle only Peter, his brother’s emotionally detached stepson, can crack.
The plot is a Greek tragedy set in the American West. Love, jealousy, betrayal, revenge. Phil’s hubris, a product of his suppressed homosexuality, sets into motion the events that lead to the prospect of happiness and his downfall. A work of psychological realism, each scene is steeped in so much tension you can feel it in your bones. And like any great tragedy, the ending is a gut punch that feels both fitting and heartbreaking.
I really hope the film takes off and more people discover Savage's work. The real tragedy is that such great writer has fallen into obscurity. The Power of the Dog is a masterpiece and should assume its rightful place in the American canon.
You provided such an excellent review and insight on "Lie with Me." I read the book a while back, but I still find myself thinking about it to the point where I take to Google to see if I missed something in reviews and interviews with the author. Your review definitely stood out to me.
Thank you! That book left a big impression on me. I highly recommend Besson’s first novel, In the Absence of Men, as well ❤️
Detail from Les Sabines by Jacques Louis David.
I believe you read memoirs of hadrien and was curious to know what you thought of it? It is perhaps the most ambitious literary project I read... I was astonished
Yes! I wrote a little bit about it here. I agree, I was blown away by the breadth of Yourcenar’s research but also how effortlessly she embodies his character. Because it’s not just a novel about his life, it’s a novel about his reflections on his life. And he was a brilliant, extraordinary person. It’s one thing to research a historical figure, it’s another thing entirely to learn how to think like them!
book review: Docile by K.M. Szpara
File this under books that I devoured but didn't love 🤔
One of the more sophisticated ideas explored in Docile is that you don't need to take a drug to alter your personality, that trauma can dramatically change who we are.
True. The problem is, the author fails to establish who Elisha is before he undergoes this transformation.
Besides being angry and poor, there was little that defined him. We were supposed to mourn the loss of his identity but he never really had one in the first place. Pre and post-Alex Elisha often bled together into one.
I had a hard time suspending my disbelief when Alex was told by the board of Bishop Laboratories that he needed to get a companion for PR reasons otherwise his position in the company would be in jeopardy. That's not how corporations work. And the novel’s central conceit is flawed by design because as Elisha becomes Alex's Docile he loses all agency and is completely passive. It's impossible to root for a protagonist who can't make choices and shape his own reality.
If Elisha is a caricature of a poor boy, Alex is a caricature of a rich boy. While he was doing morally questionable things, there was so little specificity to his character I couldn't hate him. He wasn't interesting enough to hate. And as he begins to fall in love with Elisha and realize that what he's done to him is wrong, the shift doesn't have much impact on the reader because he wasn't a fully-formed character to begin with.
Even the secondary characters like Mariah and Lex were cardboard cutouts of bad guys, and Abigail, a hollow symbol of noble suffering.
Elisha's father bothered me the most. His angry reaction to the change in his son seemed contrived, as though the author needed Elisha to have an obstacle at home. I didn't understand why he was so unsympathetic when his son sacrificed so much to save him and his family. He let his wife become a Docile and he would have sent his 13-year-old daughter to the ODR if Elisha hadn't stepped up. It made zero sense.
I thought the darker side of Elisha and Alex's relationship was interesting but it veered too far into the erotica camp for my taste. I have nothing against the slavefic trope but in the last third of the book the author mounts a huge moral case against it, so I don't know why those earlier scenes read like straightforward erotica, undermining the book's own message. The author was titillating his readers with graphic sex in one scene and then virtue signalling in the next, like he was trying to have his cake and eat it too.
I think the strongest scene was the one with Alex's ex-boyfriend, Javier, punishing Elisha, and the scene that follows where Alex finds out and is horrified. There was some psychological realism in these moments and smart choices, like Elisha using his safeword for the first time when he's in emotional (rather than physical) distress. "Midnight!" Yes, I cried.
Toward the end, the book starts to explore the topic of consent in earnest. A lot of these moments, like the deposition and the trial, are heavy-handed but I did enjoy seeing Elisha and Alex renegotiate their relationship and figure out if they ever really loved each other and whether they have a future together.
There were some really sweet and funny moments too, like when Elisha is trying to prove to Alex that he can think for himself and locks the car door. "I lock doors now."
I almost wish the author had abandoned the erotica and courtroom drama and explored his ideas through a character-driven story about Alex and Elisha's relationship.
Though I had issues with Docile, ultimately I did enjoy the experience of reading this book and would recommend it if you're interested in a light dystopian read that poses some interesting questions about consent and love.
Hi! I just finished Victorian boy and I am so glad I chose to read your fic first from my long list of want to read but long fics, since I have so much time now. I LOVED IT. It’s so beautifully written and I really liked the bonus chapters as well, especially the visit to Pembroke ;) so I was wondering any chance you would write a Roy/Harry nsfw scene? Give the people what they want, you know what I mean. Just a thought! :)) please
Thank you for reading my fic! I'm glad you decided to give it a chance.
TBH I would love to write a Roy/Harry scene but I got so much backlash and hate for writing the Pembroke chapter, I don't think I could go through that again.
But I'm really happy you enjoyed that chapter. It means a lot ❤️