lis

•mmm 18th century literature• •starving english major•

[segamascott]

[freakoutgirl]

the internet seems like a distant dream

[freakoutgirl]

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

[casarole76]

[robbinthemblind]

Didnt know i needed this. But i did.

[talon-dragonbeast]

daily affirmations for college students

im doing great

my teeth and claws are very sharp

i can kill ai with my mind

the professor is more scared of me than i am of them

theres no surprise test on friday

no one can tell i have a tumblr blog

my roommates dont hate me

salmon burguers on sale

[bubblegum-dummy]

Ouughh big stretc- *my spine completely shatters*

[yeehawitsjakee]

so bECAUSE OF THE NEW MUPPET JOKER POST I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID THE CROAKER AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “THEY RETURNED?” AND THEN HE READ THE POST ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT STRANGE UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD 

[movedaccounts111]

"why so single? im the croaker, baby!"

"wanna know how i got these divorce papers, tumblr?"

[the-muppet-joker]

[robcham]

DIY>AI

[sourcreammachine]

i’m sorry kink fans but i just can’t see the suffix ‘con’ without thinking it means convention

‘dubcon’ will skrillex be there??

[sourcreammachine]

oh no oh no please not this post please

[wynnyfryd]

reblog to get your bones rattled at the dubious convention

[redstonedust]

everyone deserves a lifechanging lesbian experience. not a woman? simply have a lifechanging experience with a lesbian. im thinking a noble quest or hiding a body together or something.

[yugiohz]

Kafka was so right fuck this stupid baka life

[marlbororeds100s-deactivated202]

He didn’t say that.

[franzkavkas]

yes he did

[purpleisdebeste]

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

[purpleisdebeste]

i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers

and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually

[purpleisdebeste]

okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty

and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling

but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥

[overnightshipping]

[goth-queen]

[shittalkingclassicliterature]

[intactics]

[mornington-the-crescent]

[phanyaoi]

[21stcenturyjolllly]

wait one more thing. funny as fuck to say you have commitment issues in the video where you announce you've been in a 16 year long relationship with your first boyfriend.

[gerardwaysbob]