And Did You Come To Stare Or Wash Away The Blood?

Meddíoxi “Medds” Pierrot She/her, ze/zir, it/its

[persecutor-bites]

Introductions:

My name is Meddíoxi, I’m a persecutor in an originless/-genicless (as in we don’t care for origin labels and don’t use them for ourselves) collective. This is my personal blog where I scream into the void about persecutor-y things (and sometimes random life updates if I feel so inclined). I won’t link to our main since I don’t care to associate with the majority of my headmates, but it’s not hard to find.

Boundaries/Rules:

1. Don’t call me a protector, even as a joke.

2. Avoid using fancy fonts when talking to me, it’s difficult to read. Unless there’s a plain text translation I’m going to delete your ask or ignore your reblog

3. Don’t speak badly about (other) system persecutors, bit of an obvious hing but if you’re going to be an ass towards persecutors for being persecutors you’re in the wrong place.

If you cross any boundaries or break a rule I’ll block you, pretty simple.*

*(not counting rule 2, mistakes happen)

That’s all.

[la-dama-perfetta]

people really do not know how to deal with in-system abuse and conflict. the only thing anyone seems to say is either "its not real" or "identify which one(s) are the Bad Alters and get rid of them"

[la-dama-perfetta]

its all "alters have a reason they exist and a reason for their actions you should try to understand and respect them" until they do something bad and then the ONLY thing you can POSSIBLY think to say is to just get rid of them? lock them up? or cut them out of their own life? no thank you.

[bioethicists]

i'm just thinking abt how many providers i've had who heard my story abt psychiatric abuse + immediately individualized it. "oh, you're so smart + kind+ obviously sane! you didn't deserve that! i can't believe they gave you that diagnosis when you're obviously not like that! they shouldn't have treated u like that when all you did was xyz! they shouldn't have assumed you were crazy like that!"

there is always a third person haunting this interaction- the patient who does deserve that, who is "actually" that evilscary diagnosis, who did Have To be treated like that. if i want to soak up the affirmations of these providers, i must be careful to never become this third person. i must affirm myself by setting myself apart from her- i did not deserve to be treated like that because i am not like that.

i reject this. not only was i like that, she + everyone else like that deserve everything i deserve. they are my siblings + my friends + my lovers. i do not need to cut them out of me to believe i deserved better. i refuse to comfort myself through the lens of someone else's dehumanization. the tragedy is not that psychiatric violence was applied to someone who not insane enough to warrant it. the tragedy is the violence.

[what-is-loveit]

you dont have the fucking right to abuse your alters or treat them like shit or mock them. you arent more entitled to existing than they are. get the fuck over yourself.

[what-is-loveit]

and you are not "the real one" either. being the host or the original or both or whatever else does NOT give you the right to treat your sysmates like garbage. it doesnt give you the right to try and control them or hurt them or mock them or shittalk them behind their back or whatever the fuck else.

[spcecowboyyy]

do you know the meaning of your name?

yes (put in the tags)

no

Voting ended onSep 21, 2025

[persecutor-bites]

I should encourage my headmate who’s also a persecutor to post more of his art, shit looks cool y’all wish you were seeing this

[the-indigo-symphony]

There's a lot of motivational posts about trauma recovery out there but I think what goes under acknowledged is just how much recovery and progress can look like nothing at all to an outsider, or even seem counterproductive based on more common recovery narratives. Sometimes growth is being able to disagree with someone without cowering in fear. Sometimes getting better means becoming rougher around the edges. Sometimes positive change means accepting that you're an asshole from time to time, but so is everyone else in the world. It's not shameful. It's not wrong. It's not immoral. It's not "anti-recovery" to grow some teeth as part of your recovery. It's just what some people need to live a happier and more fulfilling life. If you find your fangs have gotten sharper and you're getting better at figuring out when to bare your teeth or bite, I'm proud of you.

[that-gay-jedi]

"All monsters must die bloody, and by a hero's hands, and soon," he says over brunch.

He doesn't think it's a rude thing to say in front of a monster. There are no rude things to say to monsters, only rude things monsters say.

"Don't worry," she says between bites, "You're one of the good ones."

"But I am still a monster," I do not say. I do not say that I love my claws and teeth, my prehensile shadow and my glowing eyes. That I cannot imagine giving them up even for survival, that to hide my shadow and trim my claws for them makes me feel diminished. In public I cannot say that I do not wish to be human.

They're progressives, this bunch, even if he carries a hero's banner with its proud history and none of them ask him to put it away. They know there are good monsters, monsters who can speak eloquently and hold the fork right, monsters you can be seen with in public. Some of their best friends are monsters.

They do not know the monster who is invited to brunch knows solidarity with the monster who is not. Believes and understands the monster who is not invited more than the human who does the inviting.

"Isn't that a little harsh?" says a third human, and I have not forgotten I am outnumbered. "We have ways of killing monsters without blood now, painlessly. And, of course, a monster should be allowed to live if it never growls."

He has never seen me growl. Yet how loudly and endlessly I will, when I'm out of earshot. He's talking about killing monsters who cannot stoop to civility, about mother and brother and lover who were never able to mute themselves like me, and does he not know how small a child who can only growl is?

"To growl is not to kill," I say, and all heads turn toward me. It is one of those rude things monsters say.

[valtsv]

i feel like it'd be at least a step forward in destigmatising self harm if more people recognised just how many of their less than perfect lifestyle choices can be defined - and weaponised - as "self harming behaviours"

[valtsv]

only having an iced coffee for breakfast? potentially self harming behaviour. regularly staying up late? potentially self harming behaviour. participating in any activity that involves a reasonable risk of physical injury? potentially self harming behaviour. getting body modifications like piercings, tattoos, or bleaching your hair in order to dye it? potentially self harming behaviour. making impulse purchases despite not being financially secure? potentially self harming behaviour. partaking in a mood altering substance like alcohol? potentially self harming behaviour.

of course, as long as you're allowed the dignity of being considered mentally stable enough to be adequately equipped to advocate for yourself, no one could reasonably object to your decisions on those grounds without sounding like a tyrannical authoritarian abuser. but if you aren't?

[valtsv]

if you've never had "you could hurt yourself" used as a threat against your right to autonomy over your own body then i'm grateful it isn't something you've been taught to expect and factor into your decisions just to be allowed to retain that self determination without having it challenged

[bitchautism-deactivated20250906]

dislike how many mental health posts on here are just "you've never done anything wrong in your life ever and they were evil for that"

[bitchautism-deactivated20250906]

maybe you did do something wrong. maybe you hurt someone. maybe you have said awful things. maybe you were just as bad as them. maybe. but what matters is that you move on. you have to try. you have to wake up and be kinder. you have to learn and listen and grow. maybe you did do something wrong but that doesn't mean you have to keep doing that. as long as you are alive, you can change

[shadedwillow]

ok google how do i propose deeper friendship and intimacy to my mutuals without feeling like a pervert predator

[shadedwillow]

hey. can we DM? do you want a voice message? do you want to see a picture of my face? do you wanna call? do you wanna get off on call with me? do you wanna consider us friends? do you wanna share secrets? do you wanna hint vaguely at where we both live to gauge how far we are from each other? do you wanna meet? do you wanna hang out? do you wanna fuck? do you wanna hold hands and kiss? does this make me creepy? is this too far? do you wanna kill me. i'm really sorry

[zyrkon01]

[csevet]

you say to me here is a woman. she's insane and irreparably broken and probably a danger to herself and others. and i say yay yippee woohoo! and things of this nature

[disabirbity]

Maybe this only applies to me but I made the meme anyway and now it's free.

[jurassicpeanut]

Sometimes processing trauma looks like making mini comics about dogs.

[greelin]

haha. You did irreparable damage btw

[moonlight-dove]

Arthur Miller, The Crucible: A Play in Four Acts