Leave a Message After the Tone š
Still the Kitchen Chair is a raw, unfiltered look at the moments that redefined my life. It was born out of a grief so heavy it felt impossible to carry alone. I wrote these words to process two profound losses that happened far too soon:
Witnessing my Grandfather's Passing I watched him fade right in front of me. Being there in those final momentsāseeing the "thinning of the air"āchanged how I understand time and goodbye.
My Father taking his own life: Losing my dad was a trauma that left me navigating a world that felt suddenly empty. Dealing with the aftermath of his choice has been the hardest journey of my life.
I know there are others who have sat in those quiet rooms, staring at an empty chair, wondering how someone can stay so present even when they are gone. This song is for anyone who has felt that "static hum" of grief. You are not alone in the silence.
I watched you sit beneath the kitchen light
News on low, same shirt, same night
You didnāt say it, but I felt it there
Like something was already thinning the air
You laughed at nothing, stared at the floor
I didnāt know you were halfway gone before
I kept talking like youād always stay
Like time didnāt take people away
But the room got quiet in a different way
Like it knew what it couldnāt say
You were fading right in front of me
Slow like a tide I didnāt see
I reached for you, but I missed your hand
Didnāt know Iād never understand
Now that chair still sits in place
Like itās waiting for your shape
I didnāt know goodbye would feel this long
Or how you stay when youāre gone
They never moved what you left behind
Your cup still cracks in my mind
I walk past it like Iām small again
Like I might see you if I donāt pretend
I talk to air when no oneās near
Just in case youāre still somewhere here
But the house donāt answer back at all
Just echoes down the hallway walls
And I swear I hear you in the static hum
When the night gets too numb
You were fading right in front of me
Like light slipping through a memory
I didnāt know it was already done
I thought we still had more than one
Now that chair still sits in place
Like it remembers your face
I didnāt know goodbye would feel this strong
Or how you stay when youāre gone
If I knew that day was the end
I wouldāve stayed there longer then
I wouldāve memorized your breath
Like something I could save from death
You were fading right in front of me
But I still reach out in memory
And I still see you in the light
Of that quiet kitchen night
That chair still sits in place
But it doesnāt hold your shape
I didnāt know goodbye would feel this long
Or how you stay when youāre gone
So I leave it how you left it thereā¦
Like you might still be somewhereā¦
### **Support My Journey**
Music has become my way of surviving. If you feel moved by my story or my music and would like to help me continue this journey of healing and creation as I currently can not work or financially support my self, any support via my GoFundMe is deeply appreciated:
http://gofund.me/ef3578279
Or place an order on Fiverr for your own personalized song written by me at https://www.fiverr.com/s/1q568op?utm_source=CopyLink_Mobile
#music #songwriting #newmusic #mentalhealth #grief
