Feel free to request art or fanfics from me♡ I'm always down to write or make anything.
Not really any DNI's, but I felt the need to say this as there are a lot of NSFW accounts liking my posts. Do not get off to my sfw/agere works please. It is not DDLB/age play. It is completely non-sexual.
I have been ever so slightly obsessed with this musical. I have started to dissect every part of it. These are my noticings of Noel's Lament. Out of order.
A lipstick tube is held in a small pocket on the leg of the chair
Noel's lipstick is rubbed onto Mischa's lips after the kiss.
Noel gets slightly distracted by the opium baggie. You can hear his singing get slightly off beat as he reaches around blindly before looking and stuffing it in his stockings.
When Noel sings, "I sell my love..." Ricky looks away when his legs open. Ricky looks away every time Noel does something sexual like that. (It could be though, that Ricky is supposed to be portraying a priest).
They didn't cover Kholby's tattoo as it is something that Monique would 100% have.
Mischa stomps the hardest by far.
Mischa picking up Ocean and bringing her off the stage as they get ready for the last chorus.
In the official lyrics on Genius, it says both Ricky and Mischa say "Hey!" At the very end, but if you look closely, only Mischa says "Hey!".
If I was paying attention correctly, Ricky doesn't sing at all during the song. He only speaks during his Priest bit.
After the song, during "Every story has a lesson," Constance says she was distracted by the two boys kissing, but she never actually saw them kiss. She was lying on the stage, looking at the ceiling.
Also. Not really related. But I get really creeped out whenever the birthdays are said. I share a birthday with Ocean, my mom shares a birthday with Noel, and my younger sister shares a birthday with Ricky. Sharing 3 birthdays is really creepy.
When I really like a media, I tend to find the small details that few notice. I watch the media over and over again until it hurts to watch. I think I noticed the lipstick on my 3rd watch because after the kiss, I noticed that Mischa's lips were much redder than they should be. Rewinded a few times until I saw Noel pluck the lipstick from the chair (I think its around "Oh claude, my pimp").
I honestly love this idea. I also think Jane is shown as one of the "good girls" he talks about. As she walks past him when changing sides (after the scene where he reaches for the opiods), she completely ignores him as he reaches out for her.
I'm currently working on Suppressants pt3, so that should be done soon. I don’t know if I'll add a 4th part with big ghost and price talking about why ghost was on the suppressants.
I have a couple other fic ideas, but I don't really have them thought out that much and I'm not sure how good they will be.
If you have any ideas, please send them to me. I'll credit you for the idea. I'm down to write just about anything (angst, fluff, smut), but I am really fixated on Call of Duty, agere, and Ghost-centric stories (I don't know as much about the others backgrounds and I don't want to ruin anything).
I have been ever so slightly obsessed with this musical. I have started to dissect every part of it. These are my noticings of Noel's Lament. Out of order.
A lipstick tube is held in a small pocket on the leg of the chair
Noel's lipstick is rubbed onto Mischa's lips after the kiss.
Noel gets slightly distracted by the opium baggie. You can hear his singing get slightly off beat as he reaches around blindly before looking and stuffing it in his stockings.
When Noel sings, "I sell my love..." Ricky looks away when his legs open. Ricky looks away every time Noel does something sexual like that. (It could be though, that Ricky is supposed to be portraying a priest).
They didn't cover Kholby's tattoo as it is something that Monique would 100% have.
Mischa stomps the hardest by far.
Mischa picking up Ocean and bringing her off the stage as they get ready for the last chorus.
In the official lyrics on Genius, it says both Ricky and Mischa say "Hey!" At the very end, but if you look closely, only Mischa says "Hey!".
If I was paying attention correctly, Ricky doesn't sing at all during the song. He only speaks during his Priest bit.
After the song, during "Every story has a lesson," Constance says she was distracted by the two boys kissing, but she never actually saw them kiss. She was lying on the stage, looking at the ceiling.
Also. Not really related. But I get really creeped out whenever the birthdays are said. I share a birthday with Ocean, my mom shares a birthday with Noel, and my younger sister shares a birthday with Ricky. Sharing 3 birthdays is really creepy.
Price sighed, looking at his boys. He would carry the world if his boys asked. But he did need to stop putting off the inevitable. Bath time.
“Alright, c'mon. We need to wash up first.” Price had to carefully maneuver Simon so he could pick up the boy without putting him down first. Simon had his new plush gripped tightly in his hand.
Price led the littles down to the bathroom. It had a bathtub large enough to comfortably fit two grown men, a separate shower, 1 toilet, and two sinks. Price set Simon on the toilet lid and turned on the tub faucet.
“Kyle, Johnny, shower or bath?”
“Baf. Duh, Papa” Johnny rolled his eyes.
Price chuckled and started helping Johnny out of his clothes. “Of course, how could I forget? Kyle?” Price looked over to Kyle, who was struggling to get his shirt over his head.
“Mm, quick shower. Sleepy” his voice muffled by the cloth of the shirt.
Price stood up after Johnny was fully unclothed. He stared at Johnny with a pointed look “Potty first, then bath”. Price went over to Kyle and helped his shirt off. He then went over to the shower and turned it on.
Johnny whines out. “Papa!” Price turned around to find Johnny standing in front of the baby. Whoops. Looks like he was working on autopilot.
Price lifts Simon off the toilet and sets him on the ground. He grabs a rag and wets it a bit before turning back to his baby. He carefully starts wiping off the paint on Simon's neck, moving up to his cheeks, and then his eyes. Simon is whining, trying to pull away, but John keeps his head steady.
“M'ma” small hands trying to push John's hand away.
Price pauses. His boy just called him mama. It took weeks before Kyle or Johnny considered calling him papa. And here Simon was, the one he thought would take the longest, calling him mama after an hour. John thought his heart might melt.
“I know, dove, mama's almost done though” Price quickly wiped the whole of Simon's face before pulling the rag away.
Simon looked up at mama, his eyes filled with tears. He was just so tired. Everything was making him tear up. Mama started pulling off his shirt. Simon let out a loud cry and pulled the cat plush close. He was scared. It reminded him of his dad. He knows he shouldn't be scared, he hasn't seen or heard his dad at all. But he couldn't help the fear. What if mama wasn't able to save him? Simon looked up as he heard someone call his name. Bubba was holding something up.
Johnny looked up from his playing as he heard the baby start crying again. He was struggling against papa. But the baby had to get undressed if he wanted a bath. Bath time was so much fun! He had to show him. Johnny started calling his name.
“Si! Si, look!” Johnny held up his rubber duck and squeaked it. Simon stopped struggling and held his hand out.
Price quickly undressed the baby, making sure the plush was safe, and set him in the bath. Johnny handed over the rubber duck to Simon. Price smiled at his boys, his heart heavy. It hurt knowing what the boy has been through. But instead of dwelling on it, Price turned around and busied himself with making sure Kyle was okay.
Kyle was stepping out of the shower, finding papa ready to wrap him in a towel. He smiled as he was wrapped in the warmth.
“Papa, is the baby okay?” Kyle looked over to the two younger littles, finding them playing together.
“He's okay, bud, just a little scared. Can you watch him for a quick sec? I need to get you lads some clothes.” Kyle quickly nodded and sat next to the bath. Price left the bathroom.
Simon rubbed his eyes and leaned his head against the side of the tub. Mama wouldn't mind if he took a nap. As he closed his eyes, someone lifted his head up. Simon opened his eyes to find Kyle.
“Babba..” he pouted. He was really sleepy.
Kyle looked apologetic. “Not yet. Soon” Kyle rubbed the babies back to comfort him. Johnny had handed over a toy boat to Kyle.
Price came back with a bundle of clothes and the Little pack. He had looked inside of it. It contained 2 plain pacifiers (1 black, 1 white), a 6 pack of XL nappies, 1 baby bottle, 1 sippy cup, and a small can of special Little formula. A good emergency kit until he could go to the store and pick up more supplies. Price set the clothes and pack on the counter before turning to the bath.
Johnny was playing with his boats while Simon was leaning against Kyle. Price sat on the edge of the tub and cupped some water before letting it fall over Johnny's body. He grabbed the small cup on the edge of the tub and filled it with water. He soaped up Johnny's body, scrubbing off the dirt and dried blood, before washing it away with the cup of water. Price wet Johnny's hair, making sure it was clean without having to properly wash it. He could shampoo his boys tomorrow.
Once Johnny was clean, Price moved on to Simon. The boy flinched when the cup of water came near. Price carefully washed him as quickly as he could. More tears falling from the baby's eyes as the cuts stung with the soapy water. Price drained the bath water and pulled his two boys out, placing them on a towel. He got up and grabbed the clothes and pack before sitting next to his boys. He handed Kyle and Johnny their clothes, letting the older two get dressed on their own.
Simon was laid down on the towel and quickly padded up. He rubbed his eyes and made grabby hands towards Price. John decided to forgo dressing Simon completely as it was warm enough in the barracks, and he could always wrap his baby in a blanket. He picked up his baby and pack, before turning to his other boys to make sure they were dressed. Johnny had decided no shirt, but Kyle was fully dressed.
He led his boys into the living room and set them on the couch. He had to fill his kids' stomachs before they could properly sleep. Seeing as how they just got off from a long mission, they all had a full week off to relax and regress properly. Price made his way to the kitchen to make some nuggets. Easy protein for his boys. He shoved the plate into the microwave and set about making a bottle. The Little formula was calorie-dense, made to replace an actual meal instead of being used as a treat or to lull a little to sleep. The microwave beeped and he replaced the nuggets with the bottle. He waited until the microwave beeped again before setting off to the couch.
Johnny and Kyle were curled up together, watching whatever was on the TV. Simon was curled up, almost fully asleep. Price set up a TV tray before placing the plate of nuggets on it, waiting for the boys to dig in. Once they did, John picked up Simon in his lap and positioned the boy to be half sitting. Simon whined as his pacifier was pulled out, but the whines died down as he was fed the bottle. Absentmindedly drinking as he fell asleep.
Price pulled out his phone as he texted Laswell, asking her to head over to the store for him. He knew she wasn't busy and was on base. He also knew he needed to restock for the week, but couldn't with 3 little's. He sent her a list of groceries, which included Little fever medication, anti-nausea meds, and pain meds.
This week was going to be horrible for Simon. Suppressants withdrawal was the worst.
I don’t know if this is really allowed, but I needed some place to put this that's not connected to my personal things. I'll delete it later if necessary.
I hate so many things. I've always hated so much, but I don't let myself express it properly. I don't know how.
I hate that I can't express myself properly. I cover up and present a version of me that is socially acceptable. I present a version that people like. I'm not able to voice my opinions or emotions because it was frowned upon. I've been holding back emotions for so long that I can't even properly cry. I feel guilty when I get angry.
I hate that I was bullied in school. I was that "weird kid" that people teased. I was an undiagnosed autistic. I was gifted. I was ahead. People pretended to be my friend so I would do their homework. I thought that's what friends did. My only real friend was with the popular girls. But she wasn't really real. She would call me fat. And I hate it so much.
I hate that I'm a people pleaser. A peace keeper. I hate that I am constantly defending family because that's what I was taught. "Family is for life. You have to love them". I shouldn't be defending people who hurt me. I shouldn't be saying "its okay" after someone screams at me. I came out as trans 6 years ago. Ftm. My dad still doesnt support me. I was so close to leaving. So close to cutting him off. My mom has. She left him when I was 10. She gets it. But it took me years to understand. He's bipolar but refuses to medicate. So he abuses whatever is close. But you cant mention it or he'll say that you dreamt it. I almost left. But then in January, he had to go and fucking legally die for 10 seconds. It reset all my progress. I was weeks away from blocking him. But then I couldnt stop crying at thr fact that my dad was hurt. I hate him so fucking much. For so many reasons. It hurts how much I hate him. Because I've been forced to love him.
I hate how hard it is to unlearn trauma responses. I dont want to flinch any time someone raises their hand close to my face. I dont want to duck and cover myself when something startles me. I dont want to cover my mouth everytime I cry. I shouldn't have to apologize the second someone gets quiet because im worried of what they are thinking.
I should be able to get angry. I want to feel angry properly. I dont want to hurt people, but I want them to know im mad. I won't scream, won't kick, hit, bite. But i want to be mad without guilt. I want to experience emotions like everyone else. I want it to flow through my body, able to identify the happiness, the sadness, fear, anger, anxiety. I want to feel it all.
This is why I write. To process all of this. Understand that it is okay. To prove to my therapist that I am getting better. To prove to myself that I can. And will. That I am okay being who I am.
I write the story in my head as I fall asleep and then immediately write it out the second I wake up. It takes me about 30 minutes to fall asleep so I always get a lengthy story out of it.
Playing COD campaign when you have no idea what you're doing is so funny. I'm sorry, Farah. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I threw a grenade at the good guys. Twice. And a molotov. And we were only left with 3 before they magically responded because I completed the mission. Price. Im so sorry I kept killing civilians as Gaz. I'm too used to playing quick play, which is shoot anything that moves. They were all running. Im sorry. But god was it fun. God, I need to play more.
(A quick story as im tired but really wanted to get a beach story out. No warnings for this one. Riley (the dog) is in this.)
Price was taking his boys up to the beach today. It was one of their rare days off. He had the cooler packed the night before, filled with cold water, juices, and a beer for himself. There was a bag with sandwiches and snacks. The boys were incredibly excited for today. Johnny decided to wake everyone up early so they could leave as soon as possible.
As soon as Price had everyone dressed in their swimsuits, he loaded the cooler and the bag in the car. He put Simon in the middle (for support), Kyle on the left, and Johnny on the right. Riley sat buckled in the front seat. They took off, heading towards the beach.
It was around noon when Price parked. Johnny struggled to unbuckle himself, whining when Papa didn't immediately help him out of the car. Price clicked his tongue.
"Patience Johnny. We have to find a spot and put sunscreen on before you can go play." Price let Kyle out of the car first before letting out Riley. Finally Johnny was released, jumping up and running around the car while Papa helped Simon out. Kyle took Johnny's hand to prevent the kid from running off.
"I have him, Papa. Can we go find a spot?" Kyle asked, looking at Price getting everything out of the trunk with a baby on his hip.
"Thank you, bud. Take Riley with you. Don't go too far!" Price had to yell the last part as the boys and dog took off. With his hands full, Price took off. Slowly walking behind the boys, waiting until they picked a spot they deemed perfect.
Eventually the boys stood in place, Riley laying down. Price walked over and set everything up. He quickly, but thoroughly rubbed sunscreen on the two older boys before letting them run down to the water. Price set a towel down on the sand and set the bag, cooler, and Simon on it. Simon was running his hands through Riley's fur, not that interested in the water. Price rubbed sunscreen over his babies skin and sat down.
Suddenly, Johnny came running up. "Papa! Papa! Look what we found!" Johnny shoved a shell into Price's hand.
"This is cool, buddy. Did you get it from the water?" Johnny nodded excitedly before taking off again. Price set the shell down on the towel for safe keeping.
About an hour later, Price called his boys up to eat lunch. They sat together as Johnny and Gaz excitedly told Price about what they saw in the water. After lunch, the boys decided to build a sand castle. They built a 4 tower castle with a moat while Simon dozed off. Price chatted with the occasional caregivers. Hours had passed before Johnny and Kyle's movements started to slow. Price smiled as he knew his boys would sleep well tonight.
"ummm actually that wouldn't happen because-" playing!!! i am playing!!! come play with me!!! i even set up the sandbox with extra shovels!!! don't smack the barbie out of my hands!!
we are doing improv!! pick up a blorbo and yes and with me!!
