"I want to be a dragon."

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@automaticdata
"I want to be a dragon."
a caught prankster (redraw!)
So what do you do when you really want to point out that a fanfic author you'd like would probably really like a book series and not only is the scene you want to point to as evidence super freaking spoilery, but you've already bugged them about the book series twice?
... well, apparently, you make a comic based on their fanfic where you do a less spoilery version of the scene in question.
(Fanfic is lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) by @definitelynotshouting, book series that inspired it is the Scholomance series by Naomi Novik. I'm fairly sure the scene's been edited/divorced from context enough that it won't be spoilery for Scholomance, but spoiler warning just in case.)
(and yes I'm also working on a fanart of the scene from the book, but I'm being a lot more finicky with that one. This one was just for funsies.)
ALL. OF. THIS.
As a Greek, in response to the current controversy about Matt Damon being cast as Odysseus, I'd just like to share that one of the moments that changed my brain chemistry as a kid was reading a novelized version of the Odyssey and coming across the following description of Odysseus when Circe sees him for the first time and thinks he's hot: "his hair curled like a clematis and his eyes were very brown".
So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:
Excuse me???
you are right and you should say it.
Is this the face of a man who would put his own infant in front of a plow to avoid going to war?
Absolutely not
You know who would try that shit?
Is this the face of a man who would defy the very gods to get home to his wife?
You know who would defy the gods just to show he could get away with it?
The last thing Penelope's suitors ever see:
You are a villain famous for “killing” heroes. In reality, heroes come to you to fake their deaths.
Sometimes they try to pay you.
You are posted out by the Hollywood sign tonight, sitting under the frame where the W used to be. It got burnt to a crisp during last week’s big superhero fight. A hero died right where you’re sitting. The whole area’s been closed down until Hero Force can coordinate a recovery effort. Usually it’d be done by now but no one’s willing to touch it until the ash has been completely blown away.
It’s a rule that the world must stand still when a hero dies.
“How much?”
The voice comes from behind you. The lights that illuminate the Hollywood sign are down to hide as much of the scorch marks as possible. You wouldn’t be able to see anything even if you did turn around, so you don’t.
You put some chapstick on, the glide of the balm against your wind chapped lips grounding.
“I said,” the Hero says, voice tightening, “How. Much.”
There’s the sound of gravel crunching now. They’re wearing heavy boots and the scent of fresh blood grows stronger the closer they get. Their breathing is smooth and even which means it’s not their blood.
You put the cap back on your chapstick and tuck it into your leather jacket’s inner pocket. “I don’t take money.”
“Then what do you take?” The Hero rounds the Y and comes into your line of sight. The dark hides most of their features, but you can make out a glittering gold mask and the dull shine of drying blood on their chest plate. Their breathing may be even, but their stance isn’t. They sway in place, back and forth, back and forth. Their arms wrap around their stomach. “I’ve got land. A house. You can have it.”
Keep reading
happy glorious 25th of may
Text of tweet under the cut because it is loooong.
But... Stochastic Parrots.
"[Y]our Harry Potter games are Cybertrucks" is such a good way to put it.
Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus
They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her
I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.
Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
Odysseus: Regret it why?
Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.
Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.
*A couple of months later*
Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.
Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.
Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family.
Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.
Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.
the original? on my dash?
Apollo: you’re the one who unleashed your little freak of a trouble maker on my Greek tragedy! You don’t get to blame me for this.
Xitter ate the tweet this is from, but Tim Bender posted it
On what the male loneliness epidemic is really about. Given actual alternatives, women are opting tf OUT of "traditional roles".
Edited to add found the tweet
The people who insist AI is smarter than a human are doing their fucking damnedest to manifest that
Не верите. Доверите.
Do not trust: verify.
I truly enjoy how much Animorphs is like “here are our young heroes, each with a distinctive trope to fill in the group!” And then it makes you watch how the pressure of each person’s role grinds them to dust. And also they have homework.
#IM SORRY THEY DO HOME FUCKING WORK IN ANIMORPHS??????
Yeah they're students. If they don't keep their grades up or if they miss too many classes (or miss classes at suspicious times) then they risk drawing the attention of the faculty and/or their parents, some of whom are the enemy and some of whom can just make future espionage a whole lot harder. There are multiple missions where they're like "okay, this is incredibly time sensitive but it'll take a full day or longer so it has to wait for the weekend and we'll have to all lie to our parents about sleeping over at each others' houses. It's gonna have to be done at the last minute because we've gotta go to class. Also, remember to get that English paper finished, we can NOT afford to have you grounded right now."
They also get disembowelled and/or eaten a lot
#animorphs#its actually devastating i bever got into these#they wouldve been a million times more up my alley wtf was i reading harry potter for
It's not too late. You can still read them.
These have been out of print for an age, and the authors have given their blessings to share the PDFs. Here's everything, including companion/side books and the non-canon Alternamorphs books, in reading order:
All of the Animorphs books by K. A. Applegate, as well as the other books set in that universe. I got them here. I am not the one who collec
batman: what’s the situation?
commissioner gordon: Harley and Ivy have hijacked an AM radio station and taken the employees hostage
batman: what are their demands?
commissioner gordon: they haven’t issued any. they, uh.
batman:
[commisioner gordon turns on the radio]
harley: —you gotta walk away, sweetie. His family sounds completely toxic, if not outright emotionally abusive, and he’s too enmeshed to see it.
caller: no, you’re right. you’re right. I gotta do it.
harley: you got this, honey. now, stay on the line a minute, I’m writing down some the names of some books for you and you can get those from Ivy after we’re done. okay! our next caller —
[commisioner gordon turns off the radio]
batman: what station is this?
commisioner gordon: WGTM.
batman: the one that rebroadcasts rush limbaugh?
commissioner gordon:
batman:
commisioner gordon: you know what, i probably didn’t need to call you for this.
I WOULD PAY MONEY FOR RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY? I WOULD CALL RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY?
“alright, babe, one more reminder that my license was revoked which means i have to tell you this as your friend and not as a mental health professional: you have two options here. one of them is safe, legal, and healthy, and will have lasting long term benefits. the other one is fun.”
reblogging for this extremely accurate addition.
Ivy’s segment is where people call in to ask why their succulent is dying and she yells at them for watering it too much.
oh, VERY good
A few weeks in Selina gets dragged into it, and starts offering advice on caring for cats with special dietary needs and stuff. It inevitably turns into Jackson-Galaxy-esque explinations.
"My cat keeps attacking my feet."
"How often do you play with him?"
"Not as much as I should, but he has a basket of toys right there where he can reach it."
"He wants to play with you. Grab a teaser toy or a laser pointer and go nuts. He'll wear himself out in about fifteen minutes and you can go back to work."
great, now i actively want someone to start a podcast that’s just in-character episodes of batman villain radio shows
You know, I actually think this would make for a really good Killer Croc redemption storyline
Cause the guy's whole deal is him lashing out at society for rejecting him because he has a skin condition (ignoring the cannibalism in certain adaptations), which means radio would be perfect for him. People can't see him, they can only hear him, and I imagine he has a sort of warm scratchy voice that sounds like he chainsmokes and it feels warm like an old wool blanket
Maybe he tells stories, maybe he does interviews, maybe he takes calls, whatever. But he becomes a fixture of late night Gotham, beloved by late shift workers and night owls, and Waylon Jones becomes a household name amongst a decent chunk of Gotham. That way, when he's eventually outed, people stop reacting like "AAH A CROCODILE MAN" and start being like "hey, it's our Waylon!"
I just like the idea of Croc being accepted and even loved by the people of Gotham
Plot twist:
The show is sponsored by Wayne Enterprises.
If you ask Bruce in his billionaire-playboy-philanthropist-idiot persona, he’ll tell you talk radio is the fastest-growing communications segment in the country and you’ll be left wondering how the fuck this man runs a successful business.
If you are one of the select few who knows him in his “also I am Batman” capacity, he’ll tell you overall crime has gone down since the villain-run station has hit the air, and also if Harley Quinn can talk someone out of the early stages of an abusive relationship before he—or worse, the Gotham City Morgue—has to get involved, so much the better.
(Also, Ivy sent him a very nice orchid with very clear, vaguely-threatening care instructions, as a thank-you for the funding. Alfred follows them to the letter, of course.)
Shelving this right next to the one where the Riddler gets a YouTube account and/or escape room business.
It is perfect 😍😍 and Bruce would 100% sponsor it because then he would be able to ensure they stay good and don't use the station for brainwashing without involvement from the police of the Bats.
Just imagining Hatter or someone starts trying to use their portion to mindwash themselves an army and all the other rouges barge in on their segment and pummel them mid-talk. Cause-
"You are not ruining this for us Jeffrey!"
While Penguin or someone has taken over the segment and is providing live singing. And all listening just hear between the lovely singing; yelling, screams from their previous presenter and intermittent punching sounds before the song ends and all the noises seem to have stopped not that the station has muted but because they are all holding their breath.
The most tired sigh is let out before "Hand him over."
Shuffling and pained groans are heard.
Before a muffled "Good singing."
'click'
*cue ad break
I feel sorry for the old man, but it was stealing. There is no apparently about it. Water is not free, it’s not a right to have it, and people pay must pay for it. If a government gives a thing to you like utilities, its still not free because they take it from somewhere else, like in taxes.
my friend visiting my house: hey i’m thirsty can i get a glass of water
me:
Nestle isn’t gonna fuck you
Also water IS a human right, it’s classified as one by the UN the only country that really disagrees with this is the United States
I know this post is a few years old, but I stumbled on it and I just want to also point out… Even aside from water being free or not, even aside from water being a human right,
the old man wasn’t stealing.
He was using a neighbor’s water, that the neighbor pays for, with the neighbor’s permission. Nothing was stolen. The old man just wasn’t the one paying. If someone comes to my house and I let them charge their phone while they’re there, are they STEALING electricity because I’m the one who pays the electric bill? If I take someone out to dinner, are they STEALING their meal if I pay for both of us? Get fucked.
I hope that person has become a better kinder person since 2021, but I"m not holding my breath.
“Unlike Cassie, unlike Tobias perhaps, I’m ruthless at times. But even I have enough sense to know the words ‘we have to win’ are the first four steps on the road to hell.”
- Rachel, Book #17: The Underground, pg. 64 (by K.A. Applegate)