..

...

[uwi-princessgameforprincesses]

It’s time to select which Princess’ journey you’d like to follow! You have four choices! Which Princess you collectively decide to play as will have a huge impact on how the game feels, so think hard before making your choice!

The Princesses you don’t select will show up in the story as potential allies, or rivals! Wow!

After character selection, you will be given a series of background events to select from. This will further develop your Princess’ dice pools and powers before you have to deal with gameplay. Different Princesses will be better at different things.

Aishphala does best at Administration, and her power of Land Mastery can allow her to simply fix POLICY issues like famines, floods, and even hinder invasions. Her Etiquette dice chance a reroll on a 6, which will make direct social politicking more risky, but her backstory options allow her to be built into a very well-balanced ruler.

Dochallot does best at Etiquette and Valor. She cannot perform Intrigue at all, making her weak against secret plots, but her focus in above-table makes the the strongest in head-on confrontation. Her Law power allows her to pull more secretive enemies out of their comfort zone and into hers, covering her weakness with her greatest strength.

Ellyesther‘s ability allows her to use her strong Education pool in every situation, granting her extra options for any situation… although the outcome Magic offers might not be the most desirable of the given results. High Education means she will enter most situations well-armed with information. She will generate more difficult EVENTs, however, and her ties to Uriyedaribon must either be obeyed or confronted.

Loomnalelle is best at Intrigue. Although her power as a princess ruling in the open is weak, she is the best at setting up spy networks and ruling through the exchange of blackmail, favors, assassination, and secrets. She can still perform well with Etiquette or Valor rolls if built towards it–but overcoming her status as eye-candy and being taken seriously will require extra work. Her conflicted obedience to her future husband and to Daladora will require smart juggling.

[PRINCESS SELECTION STARTS NOW]

Please click the link above and vote for your Princess. Voting will remain open for an undetermined amount of time. Probably a week-ish.

[autumnbramble]

probably the last time i'm signal boosting this

we're running a brand spanking new CYOA on tumblr, wow! get in while the getting's good! now your last chance to jump ship to my new tumblrs!

[autumnbramble]

you know what, fine, fuck you

https://autumnbrambleagain.tumblr.com/

let's do this from scratch again, why the fuck not

[autumnbramble]

you know what, fine, fuck you

https://autumnbrambleagain.tumblr.com/

let's do this from scratch again, why the fuck not

[headspace-hotel]

The qualities that divide good children’s literature from bad children’s literature:

1) The dragons are real.

2) The adults don’t believe you.

will elaborate

[headspace-hotel]

what I’m getting at here is that being a child is an experience defined by marginalization—by powerlessness, not being taken seriously, not being believed.

when you are a child you are aware of the terrible things in the world and terrified by them, and you feel everything so intensely. Before you learn to manage your emotions, they are consuming, incandescent experiences that are almost impossible to access again as an adult. You are small but your emotions and experiences are as large and as vivid as anyone else’s, but they are not taken as seriously as everyone else’s. You recognize that adults condescend to you and dismiss you.

As a child, you know that the world ought to be fair, that people ought to be helped, and you ask “Why?” And you ask “What is the point?” And as you become an adult you learn to repress those things. The answer to every question you ask as a child is “Because you have to” or “Because that’s the way it is,” and these are bullshit answers and we all know it, but defending an authoritarian relationship to someone weaker is easier than defending things about our world that are indefensible if we look at them honestly.

In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, when Lucy first enters Narnia, she is not believed. Narnia has so much about it that makes it THE quintessential children’s book series, the archetype for children’s book series, and it all centers around how Narnia cannot be understood by adults.

Imitators have reduced this down to something about the Wonder of Childhood, something about how children are innocent and special that means only they can see magic because only they are able to believe in it. This is Not Correct. Books that do this are saccharine and awful because this is fake and we all know deep down that it’s fake.

Here’s the truth. Children do not live in an idyllic fantasy land where bad things aren’t real, adults do. For kids who have dealt with grief, abuse, trauma of all kinds—and let’s be real, that’s most of us—it’s condescending and idiotic to treat children as if they’re innocent about the evils in the world. Almost every child experiences evil early and is unable to communicate that experience to adults, whether this is in the form of a relatively innocent childhood fear or deeply damaging abuse.

There is much that has been said about how the Narnia books are about the trauma of World War 1, but most of that can also be said about how Narnia is about childhood in general—the traumatic nature of the return to the Real World is left unstated, because it is understood by the audience. Children have a vivid inner world that they do not have the vocabulary to explain to adults, and this is what Narnia is about.

There’s a reason why Neil Gaiman’s children’s books are so memorable, and it’s the same reason that they scared the living shit out of adults. There’s a reason why Where the Wild Things Are and Shel Silverstein’s poetry have had such a long cultural shelf life. These are not cozy, comfy stories that affirm adult perceptions of the childhood world as flat and innocent; they are troubling and ambiguous.

There’s also a reason why the children’s books that are so important often piss adults off. The best example I can think of is the Captain Underpants series. I never read any of them and yet I remember the extraordinary disdain people had for those books; they were the poster child for What Terrible Thing Has Become Of Literature.

And sure, maybe to an uncritical adult eye the adventures of misbehaving kids thwarting the rules of the world with poop jokes has no value, but I would argue the opposite—the poop jokes are, in fact, fundamental to the anti-authoritarian message. Adult attempts to suppress the scatological sense of humor children have hold a very important message about power.

Because here’s the thing: poop and farts are funny because they’re taboo, and especially so to children because we are constantly telling children what they Can and Can’t say. It’s not about poop, it’s about how adults betray themselves every time they get in a tizzy about a seven year old saying “turd,” because the fact that “turd” gets such a reaction means that uptight adults don’t have the power over kids that they want kids to think they have.

Scatological subjects embarrass adults, and the more uptight and controlling those adults are, the more devastating the embarrassment is. Kids are super conscious of the power dynamics in all their dealings with adults—how could they not be? And the explosion of raucous laughter that results from an elementary school teacher saying something that sounds sort of like “doody” wouldn’t happen if elementary school teachers weren’t constantly trying to reassert and solidify their position of power.

They, too, can be mortified and laid low by a humble “doody,” and if it did not have the power to do so, they wouldn’t try so hard to stop the kids from saying it.

[icedcatte]

I'd argue that where that all stands for Captain Underpants, part of it is also that it's a comic book series for kids that features two kids who constantly disobey their teachers and principal. Dav Pilkey, the author of Captain Underpants, has ADHD and dyslexia and has been open about the fact that he was punished very often for both of these things. The reason why many adults find Captain Underpants distasteful is not only because of fart and poop jokes, though that is certainly a factor, it's that the series is for those kids who can't focus, who struggle in school academically because the author himself was a kid like that, and as a result Captain Underpants has some pretty strong anti-authority messages. For example:

[t-auto]

Dab Pilkey genuinely has the best ‘about the author’ I’ve ever read and I think it’s a crime that it hasn’t been included yet

[headspace-hotel]

Dav Pilkey is not even in the vicinity of fucking around, is he.

[autumnbramble]

hit with that strong memory of how i went into college to get into the academia of studying old writing and stuff b/c tolkein was cool and i wanted to be a cool academic and instead was forced to attend book of the month clubs where like

the majority of the books were just

about child grooming?

genre fiction? utter garbage, immature, childish! why would you want to write stories that... that enterTAIN people!?

studying old stories in their original context? fuck you, you're in grad school and we're doing canterbury tales for the third fucking time. the entire massive history of literature we could be studying? no, fuck you, chaucer again. want to study old folklore and fairy tales? want to study stuff outside of FUCKING england for once?

fuck you, hERE COMES CHAUCER CHOOCHOO WAN THAT APRIL WITH THE SHOURES SOOUTE THE DROUGHT OF MARCHE HATH PIERCED TO THE ROOTE AND BATHED EVERY VEINE IN SWICH LICOR OF WHICH VERTRU ENGENDRED IS THE FLUR AND ZEPHIRES EKE IN HIR SWEETE BRETHE INSPIRED HATH IN EVERY HOLTH AND HEADTH THE TENDRE CROPPES AND THE YOUNGE SONNE HATH IN THE RAM ITS HALF COURSE YRONNE AND SMALLEN FOWLEN MAKEN MELODEYE THAT SLEEPEN ALL THE NYCHT WITH THE OPEN EYE SO PRIKETH NATURE IN HEM CORAGES THENNEN LONGEN FOLKEN TO GOEN ON PILGRAMAGES

but most commonly?

hey here's a story about a 13 year old girl who had a like 20-something boyfriend and now she's an adult and looking back on that

here's a story about 13 year old girl with a 20-something boyfriend but THIS one has colonialism as a theme too so it's different

hey here's a story about a german boy who was seduced by this 40 year old with graphic scenes of them fucking

hey here's another post modern story about you guessed it the author reminiscing about the time they fucked someone older than them

like what the fuck was thaat about, why did that kee fucking hapening even across multiple professors and colleges

[brandyllyn]

[i-am-dulaman]

I say I'm dumb a lot but i think it's time you all knew exactly how dumb i am

[i-am-dulaman]

I didn't know the order of the months or seasons until i was 17 and i only learnt them cause i was accused of cheating on a math test i got 100% on cause of 1 question that was something like "in what month would *math stuff*" and i aswered "the 9th one" instead of september and apparently that was suspicious? And i didnt wanna say it was cause i didnt know September was the 9th month so i just took the test again

[i-am-dulaman]

I didn't learn how to tie my shoelaces until i was 18 and before then I would just randomly tie them into a knot that sorta looked like this

[i-am-dulaman]

I have been mutuals with @fuck-usag since like 2013, a blog that regularly posts about gymnastics and the USA Gymnastics organisation (USAG) and it took me til last year, SIX YEARS, to realse her name is not saying "screw america, G"

[i-am-dulaman]

My first time in France was a spontaneous trip to Paris. 0 planning. Literally as i took my first step off the plane i thought "wait. They speak french in France"

[i-am-dulaman]

Morosexuals hmu i once accidentally climbed the tallest mountain in Ireland cause i was looking for a good spot to have a picnic

[somecunttookmyurl]

yeah this tracks

[orteil42]

do i make the Cookie Clicker stock market minigame less dull or do i leave it as a testament to the atrocity of the real thing

[orteil42]

my concerns about the minigame came from regularly seeing folks complain about how dull it is yet here i’m mostly seeing comments ask me to keep it just the way it is. amazing

fwiw like with every other minigame i do have plans to expand it just a little bit eventually! make it a tad meatier and more involved

[autumnbramble]

my favorite thing about the porn ban is how spiteful they are to blogs that had the decency to flag themselves as “not for children”

the faq is like “uh i can’t see individual posts or browse by tags or really view my own blog at all anymore?” and the faq is like “yes, that’s intentional. fuck you. how DARE you mention adult themes on the internet, which is a place that exists for CHILDREN ONLY. fuck you. get fucked.”

[guerrillatech]

[runcibility]

It's that or "Just rely on your wealthy relatives! Everyone has those, right?"

[crtter]

[autumnbramble]

the sooner you all a ccept this is  false world, the sooner  i  can end it humaanely and traansmigrate everything to aa new sequeul

plese do not require us  to enforce destbilization into voidouut youu won’t enjoy it like we will

[fullmetalfisting]

God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

[fullmetalfisting]

Throwback to when I took acid for the first time in 2013 and predicted the events of 2020 like the fucking oracle of Delphi

[e-the-village-cryptid]

they edited it, this is the original post: 

[ID: How can dog breeders sell puppies for over $1,000? Do these puppies shit gold? Do these puppies fight crime? Can they play the banjo? No they’re fucking infant dogs that poop on your things and love you omg. /end ID]

link to a reblog of the original post, this reblog is from 2013

EDIT: OP blocked me for calling them out in this reblog, I can’t reblog or reply to this anymore and my reblog won’t show up in the notes, but if you reblog this from me then your reblog will show up in the notes. I thought maybe they were just trying to be funny and didn’t care if people knew they were lying but they’re like.. legitimately trying to convince people it’s true lol. Sketchy tumblr behavior, especially since they’re promoting their Kofi on their page meaning they are trying to get actual money for lying

[normal-horoscopes]

[Two huge bouncers in suits pick up OP by their chiton and hurl them out of the temple of Apollo]

[flagellant]

[OP lands in the Dionysian Sanctuary at Naxos]

[wizardpotions]

Morrowind is a game about hunting down and killing your 4 crazy magic exes whilst doing cocaine and creating spells like super brain haemorrhage in a country who's main export is lung cancer

[brink182-deactivated20120906]

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it. Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this. There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color. But, hey, at least it tastes good, right? High five, America!

[sensorydeprivationprincess]

oh my god

[lord-smaug-the-impenetrable-dea]

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 2012

[breathdeepseekpeace]

A classic

[caldraws]

this just makes me wanna get some nuggets from mcdonalds for some reason

[mannequia]

the fact op thought they could even get away with that blatant misinformation in the first place when the graphic they used was the fucking Tubby Custard machine amuses me like.

Even if you didn’t know what Teletubbies was that thing does not at all look like something you’d find in a factory, it’s colorful and colors cost extra.

[xsix8990-deactivated20260423]

that’s because OP’s post is a joke

I feel weird that I’m been here long enough to remember the original context–OP is mocking this post:

the picture clearly looks like some sort of strawberry ice cream, so OP did a copypasta of the original text and replaced with picture with something even funnier.

Both posts went around a lot, but it’s funny that the second, mocking post is now being reposted like OP is some kind of idiot instead of a comedic genius

[xsix8990-deactivated20260423]

the original post is actually still here: https://early-onset-of-night-blog.tumblr.com/post/1206666159/say-hello-to-mechanically-separated-chicken-its and apparently the original OP is a satire blog, anyway. So nobody was serious in the whole exchange

Early Onset of Night

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the

[raven-reconciling]

Getting new context for this ancient meme in the year of our lord 2021 is giving me whiplash.

[pangur-and-grim]

making two extremely bitter dinosaur shirts for myself to wear to the June 22 2018 Jurassic World 2 premiere

[pangur-and-grim]

this is the first one

[pangur-and-grim]

let’s be real, no matter how crap this movie is I WILL be going multiple times. thus, multiple outfits - here’s number 2

[pangur-and-grim]

ALRIGHT, getting a lot of messages arguing with the rooster! so I’ll break it down once, & then please obey the rooster’s speech bubble

1. Birds are Dinosaurs

at this point, no sane person can deny the relationship between birds & non-avian dinosaurs. if through magic you saw a photo of velociraptor today, you’d just say “neat-o I think that turkey has teeth!” & go back to scrolling your twitter feed. 

but let’s clarify what a dinosaur is: Dinosauria is defined as the MCRA (most common recent ancestor) of Megalosaurus & Iguandon, and all their descendants thereof. you see that branching cladogram up above? everything past ‘Archosauria’ is an archosaur, including birds, everything past ‘Dinosauria’ is a dinosaur, including birds, and everything past ‘Aves’ is a bird.

so, Tyrannosaurus rex is not a bird, but a house sparrow IS a dinosaur.

2. Birds are Reptiles

many clades (groups consisting of a common ancestor & all it’s descendants) were made based on physical features like ectothermy and scales, before we fully understood who was related to who. so birds were not originally intended to be grouped with reptiles, but tracing their path backward in the tree of life, birds are nested in Archosauria (crocodiles, pterosaurs, dinosaurs, etc.), which is in turn nested in Reptilia (turtles, lizards, snakes, etc.)

by our own stupid rules, birds are reptiles.

[vulvva-deactivated20200910]

The term “reptiles” should not be used at all in scientific discussions of phylogenetic relationships. Reptiles are a grade, a polyphyletic group constructed before we had evidence of birds being dinosaurs. The grup containing reptiles and birds is Sauropsida. Bird are not reptiles, but they are dinosaurs, which is a much cooler assertion.

[pangur-and-grim]

[pangur-and-grim]

hello, you can now get these as holographic stickers!

[pangur-and-grim]

apologies, you’re quite correct on that! from my limited understanding there’s still some debate over where turtles fit, but it seems likely that they’re related to archosaurs (crocodiles/pterosaurs/dinosaurs)

if anyone with more turtle knowledge wants to expand on that (or contradict it), the stage is yours!

[autumnbramble]

I'm never not going to be pissed about space is not home being murdered for the sin of having rare adult content on a website that uh oh where it was perfectly within the rules until suddenly nah man your Tumblr is now broken on purpose, fuck you

if anyone has any suggestions on where I can put an archive of it or something I'd love to hear it is still the best thing I ever made??

[magnetictapedatastorage]

tape casette recorders are compatible with literally every. single. thing. im out here living in 2095.

[magnetictapedatastorage]

things you can record (audio only), simply by lying to your computer, telling it that the tape recorder is actually a set of headphones:

discord call

podcast

documentary

radio and internet radio

music, from any source. without having to download it at all.

music you make on virtual pianos/etc

noteworthy news items (fireside esque, interviews, huge events)

stand-up comedy

rented or borrowed media

any other sound your pc can produce

and with a VCR you could do all of this AND have the visuals as well… but an audio cassette recorder is a good place to start, since they’re small and simple. I would not recommend a boombox, because those are large and nowadays all very, very bad quality.

Now you may be saying “how is any of this helpful, I want a digital file…” here’s the fucking magic. You go into Audacity (free program), and lie to it that the tape recorder is really a microphone. Then you hit record on Audacity, and hit play on the tape, and let it play at regular speed. Trim and export the digital file, and you’re doing gangbusters. You’re cooking with gas. You’re thinking with portals. You’ve won the internet.

Congratulations, you can “pirate”* anything you want, and literally no one can catch you, because you’re not downloading in the traditional sense. You’re streaming to an external device, and that device is recording what it receives. It’s exactly like taping a live tv show to a VHS. This is a very low-key and non-strenuous task for the computer, since your tape recorder does all the work.

*Is this piracy? No. Well- it’s time shifting. Sort of. Tell it to my Steely Dan albums. Tell it to my The Sims: Hot Date VG Soundtrack album.

[broken-horn-of-equius]

OP, dropping surprising knowledge from across time and space: