Heroine Addict @brandyllyn - Tumblr Blog

Brandyllyn’s Masterlist

Firstly and most importantly, I wrote a book. Love nor Money is a “why choose” romance about Maya Alvani, a down on her luck woman who agrees to pretend to be the mistress of three of the cities most powerful criminals. For more information about the book itself go here.

Buy it here. Buy the holiday epilogue here.

Both are available for free with Kindle Unlimited at the same links.

📚<- This work is complete.

Requests are currently closed but thots are always welcome.

I am also brandyllyn on AO3

If you want fanfic updates follow @brandyllyn-writes. For more general updates Join my mailing list!

Most things I write are explicit and I’ve also tried to tag / warn everything appropriately. Let me know if I missed something.

charlesoberonn

"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."

charlesoberonn

I apologize.

noroquian

demareth

insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it

charlesoberonn

This one?

schwazombie

ruffboi-mags

Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.

dzamie

I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"

nebulous-nebuli

sour-charity

blueelectivire

Absolute fucking trainwreck of a post

seven-very-hot-fish

Oh gee I wonder why this is going around again

zack-creeper

Art

the-doctor-and-the-asshole

How. Interesting

thecommonchick

THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂

roaringstream

“Do NOT tell the world about this” 200,000 notes

mun-urufu

400k notes

godlessondheimite

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

#me as I'm reading this #oh you mean Pedro Pascal #and then that last line hit me like a dump truck

sleepy-bebby

Top left clockwise: Keith groover, Jordan Simons, Bret Crow, Harry Hansen

thriceandonce

WHAT holy shit that’s wildly cool

emosad420

batmanisagatewaydrug

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

thepuppeteer-andthetrashmob

Isn’t Lady Gaga bisexual?

batmanisagatewaydrug

yes that is indeed why she's on the list of famous women who like women

batmanisagatewaydrug

why have multiple people reblogged this with some horse-assed "um actually most of these people are bi or pan" did I fucking stutter I said they like girls. what is your point. I'm going to kill you.

batmanisagatewaydrug

#op probably has this post muted but the icon is too real.

the icon is because of this post

wildflower182

POV: you make a good post and then encounter tumblr reading comprehension

ericrmalice-deactivated20240323

btw to just clarify for anyone who sees this reblog of this post

op is basically saying something along the lines of "yea ik taylor swift is bi but like. why is she y'all's only lgbtq+ pop icon when there are all these other lgbtq+ people in the pop scene???"

i might have worded this badly but hopefully i got the main point across

batmanisagatewaydrug

hi op here I certainly did not fucking say Taylor Swift is bi

1-800-horrorfilms

cealvan

Op is saying that liking Taylor for being QUEER or Lgbtqia+ is not a bad thing, but to also know she is not the only one.

He did not call anyone in the original post lesbian bi or pan.

He did call two people NB

batmanisagatewaydrug

you have to be fucking with me there's no way

batmanisagatewaydrug

#Op you gonna have to make a graph

on it:

sourcreammachine

op: carrots are not fruits. raspberries and apples and blueberries and pears and lingonberries are fruits. i’m not saying you can’t enjoy carrots but why would you hang all your fruitsalad hopes on it

idiot 1: aren’t raspberries berries?

op: yes that is indeed why it’s on the list of fruit

op: why have multiple people reblogged this with “umm actually most of these are berries”. did i fucking stutter i said they’re fruits. i’m going to kill you

idiot 2: btw just to clarify op is saying “yeah i know carrots are a fruit but there are other fruits too”

op: where in the sweet mary mother of cunt did i say that carrots were a fruit

idiot 3: op is saying that liking carrots for being fruits isn’t a bad thing, but to also know they are not the only fruit

op:

hellsitegenetics

String identified: a gg a g 't ta t g t ag Ta A t a a ct c t c c(T) . ta g t acta . Gaga a a a a a a gt t. a aaaa a a a cca ac a a a cta ét a a c ' g t gt gt t . a a t a ta g g. at a g . ' t ag ca't Ta t ag a tt ga . ’t a Gaga a? tat ' t t a a t gg t t -a " acta t t a a" cg ttt a t g. at t. ' gg t .

a a t t t t t c t a.

t c ca t t : a a g t a t ct t ag c t t t ca a t g t t aca ag tg ag t "a ta t t . 'a' gt+ c t a a t t gt+ t c???" gt a t a t gt t a t ac cta t cg a Ta t ag tat g Ta g gta+ t a a tg, t t a t t . t ca a t ga t a a. ca t a t cg t t' a

ga a t a a ga

t: : cat a t t. a a a a a a a g a t. ’ t ag ca’t cat t ag a taa t t : a’t a ? : tat t’ t t t : a t gg t t “ acta t t a ”. cg ttt a t’ t. ’ gg t t : t t t ca ag “a cat a a t t t a t t t” : t t a t ct a tat cat a t t : ag tat g cat g t ’t a a tg, t t a t a t t t :

Closest match: Pyrausta purpuralis genome assembly, chromosome: 22 Common name: Common Purple & Gold

(image source)

batmanisagatewaydrug

oh my god a beautiful moth.... post now justified good work everyone

ianthe

death-by-lulz

laranoa

This post is so fucking old–the old anon icon? Non-rebloggable asks? The gray bar at the bottom? Truly a relic

ianthe

people are still reblogging it. incredible. love u all

ruriginzuishou

The Avengers gif here is definitely a sign this post is from 2013

ianthe

it will never dieeeeeeeee and neither will iiiiiiiii

werewolf-cuddles

Um, excuse me, but I think you’ll find that GIF is from Iron Man 2 (2010), not Avengers (2012) 🤓

birds-and-friends

Flying is effortless, landing can be a little bit harder, Cornell Lab / DoC (northern royal albatross) (part 1)

taylors-a-goblin

There’s so much about this. The tumble itself is so irredeemably funny. The child stops asking for food and just stares in silence as the adult completely beefs it. The adult, absolutely ashamed, wandering off screen, refusing to make eye contact with the baby.

Perfect 10s all round.

tyrannosaurus-trainwreck

Sorry, still not over Darcy critical-failing that proposal! Not that sorry, though. I have no idea why Pride and Prejudice hits so hard when most of Austen's other novels are like "They're fine! I like them! Anyway..." for me.

But, here's the thing. Darcy is being an asshole. Darcy isn't an asshole, generally, but he's really being one about his whole Regency Era situationship with Lizzie. Like, he rolls in on day one with this giant fucking chip on his shoulder, acts like he's too good for everyone, and why? Well, he's rich, and he's got lofty connections.

Except who's he rolling with right then? His spineless dustmop of a bestie and his bestie's godawful sisters. Bingley's the sort of guy who can be peer-pressured out of being in love!

Like, you know that thing where you have a friend, and they introduce you to another friend, and that friend is such a wet sock that you find yourself reevaluating your friend because they're hanging around with this guy? Like, okay, Darcy, do you have friends, or do you have toadies? Is this your bestie, or did you find a gentleman's companion that you didn't have to pay?

Later on we meet his aunt, who's the goddamned worst.

Like, we all hate Mr. Collins, right? This woman has Mr. Collins over twice a week for a quiet evening of performative dickriding. That's the kind of taste Darcy's family has. Voluntarily spending hours with Mr. Collins on a regular basis.

There's no talking about Mrs. Bennet's lack of decorum or matrimonial grasping or entitlement without talking about Lady Catherine flying in on her broom to scream at her nephew's fiancee, right? Especially considering that her basis for doing so is a cradle engagement that she seems to have never spoken to her nephew about as an adult and a fucking rumor that she assumes pertains to Lizzie.

She doesn't even talk to her fucking nephew before spending half a day in a carriage to make a blazing spectacle of herself in front of the entire Bennet household! He finds out she did that afterwards when she tries to make him break off the nonexistent engagement that she's announced to half the fucking kingdom by that point.

I mean, unexpected point to Mrs. B, who notably did not even walk down the road to Netherfield to act disappointed at anyone.

Also hard to get on too high a horse after Georgiana's near-elopement with the country's biggest asshole! Like, oh, the Bennet sisters are embarrassing? The Bennets lack propriety?

Buddy, you hired a sex trafficker to look after your sister and then your sister almost fucked the one-man-crime-wave son of your late property-manager. And you didn't even manage to hush it all up properly! Sure, he's keeping your sister's name out of his mouth, but he's running you down like a dog in every other respect to the whole county!

Like, "Oh, look at me, I'm Fitzwilliam Darcy! I'm not going to lower myself to correcting any of The Plebes who now think I deliberately misadministered a will to fuck over The Help out of cheapness and spite, especially when all it would take is one conversation with That Fucker's commanding officer, but god forbid I ever have to go out in public with a Bennet! I might die of shame and secondhand cringe!"

So he's got all of that going on, and then he busts in on Lizzie with a proposal that's got huge "I don't consent to being attracted to you" energy and runs her entire family into the ground. This is after Lizzie's spent approximately three centuries being negged by his mannerless nightmare of an aunt, so that's at least one extra level of "Really, bruh?" in there.

And then he fucking claps back at her rejection! Instead of going "Oh. Huh. Whoops. Guess I'll just have to go marry one of the other ten thousand women lined up waiting to marry me!" he's like "What the fuuuuck did I ever do to you, you fucking menace?". At which point she checks him so hard he spends the next three months bluescreening and looking up how to be polite to people you haven't already known for five years.

So like I said, he is being an asshole here. He knows how to act right, he just hasn't bothered to do so once since posting up in Netherfield because idk, he's on vacation or some shit.

Critically! However upsetting Lizzie finds The Proposal Incident (half-hour crying jag, spends the rest of the day hiding in her room), she is at no point worried about Darcy's subsequent behavior.

This is while she still thinks he genuinely did Wickham dirty and before she's had a chance to get character references from the 500 people working at Pemberley. This is the guy about whom her dad later says "Kidding-not kidding I can hardly say no to this rich fuck, can I?" when asked for his blessing. This is after Mr. Collins literally said "I've heard no means yes these days" to her fucking face and then her mother tried to make her marry him anyway.

She preached a full on sermon about the man's shortcomings to his face immediately after saying she wouldn't bounce on his dick if it was the last one on earth and after the adrenaline crash wasn't like, "Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuck my entire life, he's going to burn down the vicarage and frame my father for tax fraud."

Everything that she's seen with her own eyes about this snobby bastard tells her he's not going to go crying to his aunt and get her cousin's patronage revoked. He's not going to go out of his way to fuck her or her family over. He's pissed, and he was definitely playing the ass with that proposal, but he's not going to lash out over it.

So this is Lizzie seeing Darcy at Peak Asshole, with extra assholery that he didn't even do but he couldn't be bothered to tell anyone he didn't do, and Lizzie's still like "omg you're such a fucking prick, how do you even get out of bed in the morning" instead of "Well, RIP to my prospects, there's no way that man doesn't have the lot of us consigned to a convent by parliamentary decree now."

sarahreesbrennan

This is also great Pride & Prejudice posting! Darcy, like many rich people, has trouble with the fact that others have feelings and viewpoints as valid as his own.

Darcy presumably sees his aunt Lady Catherine through affectionate eyes, softening her faults, but doesn’t consider that Elizabeth sees her family through affectionate eyes. Interestingly, we the audience regard Georgiana with sympathy - Darcy’s beloved baby and only sister, admiring of Elizabeth - while we tend to be far less sympathetic to Lydia (Elizabeth’s sister, but with about 5 years and 2 other sisters between them, which gives more scope for annoyance and competition than Darcy’s approximately 12 year age gap with a little girl who’s no threat to the heir or the near unlimited resources in their huge manor).

But Darcy, to his credit, is shown knowing Lydia is a victim like Georgiana, both 15 year olds preyed upon by Wickham. While society at the time meant Lydia marrying her seducer was bad yet the alternative might be worse, I always liked that Darcy’s first impulse was to march in calling ‘Lydia get your coat, we are blowing this popsicle stand!’ It also tells us that had he come too late to save Georgiana’s reputation, he still would’ve tried to get her away from Wickham and make sure she was safe. Perhaps his immediate reaction to Lydia tells us he’d thought about that.

Darcy, a principled guy at bottom, and yes! Elizabeth can either subconsciously sense that despite Wickham’s claims or can tell (possibly by noting his affection for his sister) that if this guy cares about you, he won’t hurt you. And he could have without framing her dad for tax fraud. All Darcy would have to do if he really wanted to marry and/or punish Elizabeth was something entirely legal and socially acceptable: go ask her parents for her hand.

Think how hideous her mother made refusing Mr Collins. As OP says, we see Mr Bennet go ‘oh I can’t refuse Darcy anything, but you—my 20 year old dependent daughter—you can go say no to him after I’ve already agreed to give you away.’ His reaction is whatever at that point because Elizabeth loves Darcy, but earlier in the book Mr Bennet defends Elizabeth from Mr Collins. We know Mr Bennet wouldn’t defend her from Darcy. Mrs Bennet would never stop hassling her. Jane got jilted, all the Bennet daughters have no prospects at this point. Whether or not Elizabeth caved, she would be under unbearable pressure and nobody would think Darcy had done a thing wrong.

But of course Darcy would never. Man has too much pride, for one thing.

In Darcy’s defence re popping the question abruptly, he did think they were taking romantic strolls.

ELIZABETH: I love walking in this particular place. HINT: Stop coming here. DARCY: oho my lady and I have an assignation. DARCY: we now regularly rendez-vous to appreciate nature. I 100% understood her charming flirty hint and am a prodigious loverboy. ELIZABETH: oh no our 5th awkward surprise meeting. How does this keep happening!

It is hilarious to think of Elizabeth returning proposal fire with ‘I do not rejoice in a connection to Lady Catherine, whose wit and manners are so inferior to my own, but I GUESS I’ll marry you.’

moniquill

reasonablywittyatbest

Scrolled past this agakn and just can't get over how much I love it. We need to make things beautiful again and this is such a wonderful example. The beadwork on the wires of a utitarian object, contrasted with the grey concrete.

everythingfox

“This place reeks of depression”

autisticlittleguy

Apparently Eva Stratt at the end of the movie on the ship had a prison tattoo on her neck that meant something along the lines of "life without parole." So, parallel to Grace and Rocky's adventure, there was a whole subplot where Eva Stratt

- Was eventually trialed by governments of the world as a scapegoat and sent to prison

- She somehow BROKE out of said prison and currently commandeers a rogue paramilitary faction of Project Hail Mary loyalists who believe in her over world governments, who presumably are still hunting her down

- She currently is on the run and staying mobile on an ice breaker ship like some kind of james bond villain base (but you know, good) while STILL working on project hail mary the whole time

- Her rogue loyalist faction controlled enough resources they could go to space and collect the beetles Grace had sent. Alternatively, it was the world government that collected the beetles, and Stratt had a whole ass heist movie to steal them, which is why she had the little xenonite figure at the end of the movie. Either ways she was running circles around them.

Absolutely insane. Never piss off a history major

brandyllyn

I like to think different. That she was in fact tried for her various crimes and her willingness to sacrifice huge portions of the human population. That she was serving that time waiting because she knew Grace would find a way to save them. Yes everyone else gave up hope. They put her in prison for daring to.

And then that signal comes and they realize that she in fact saved them. And there's international outcry so of course she is let out. But the tattoo is a reminder that not everyone kept faith.

Not everyone believed.

But Stratt did.

#project hail mary #project hail mary spoilers

Finally starting to see a dent in this stupid ass puzzle.

#yes this is how I do puzzles #Yes I am sorting every piece by which section of the declaration it's in #Yes I have been at this for the better part of 3 hours #no I will not be taking comments or suggestions at this time

armengoldira

apologiesnope

I'm dying.

teaboot

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

brandyllyn

Apparently I have a pretty extreme vitamin d deficiency.

Do you know how hard it was to not make it a "I need the D" joke to my doctor?

brandyllyn

Me, a person who does not go outside, when the doctor tells me I have a "doesn't go outside enough" problem.

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