â i didnât ask for this ! i didnât ask for you to save me ! â / sentence starters. @auzare
    Was that how he feltâŠ? Their affair was a complicated ordeal, one that spanned the history of civilization. Old emotions that had yet to be reconciled, fates that had been sealed, but Seto had believed that things were not as set in stone as that. Indeed he was a master at shattering expectations, but this time it seemed that some were not permitted to be. Here Atem is firm on his stanceâ that he should have stayed where he was. Once heâd even remarked that Seto confused his desires for the desires of others, though Seto believes heâs still right. Why would you just resign to that fate? Why would you ferociously defend that defeatist mindset?
    It hurts him on some level, that what heâd done was unwanted, having taken such as rejecting what they presently had. Even now Seto is still a selfish man and puts his needs above others, though he thinks there is mutual benefit. That was good no matter what.
    âAnd what? Left you to just throw away the chance you had? I didnât take you for someone who just settled.â Frustration is clear in raised tone. Maybe heâd never truly understand the complexity of Atemâs situation, the ambiguity he lived by the mere circumstance of his existence. Maybe he doesnât want to, because it shouldnât matter. âDoes your resolve really overpower your desire to live? Who are you helping? Certainly not yourself.â Sharp click of teeth and he falls inward, voice falling.
     âWhat do you want, Atem?â
Both his life and death had been selfless things, acts of duty and little more for that was blessed right of he chosen by the gods. Much like this his passing had also been selfless act and fulfillment of needs of others rather than self, and so in the end what was Atem but a bundle of duties which had left him mere vessel of his people and needs? A Pharaoh was the truest authority bar for the gods themselves for they were unending; an inevitability where a king was but a mere man playing at importance. Atem had bastardized the concept, committing himself to servitude for his people.
It had been thankless and continued to be, acceptance running deep into marrow as he sees hurt on Setoâs face. He hadnât meant to cause that.
âIt is not about settling,â comes sharp snap, indignant in righteousness. A Pharaoh, even a poor one, did not merely settle and this rang true for Atem even now. To suggest otherwise as to slight all that he was. âMy resolve is and always has been unwavering, Kaiba. I do what is right, and my desire to live--â Was unimportant, for he had taken own life and destroyed own soul. âYou have no idea.â
But then nor did Atem and question brings him up short. What did he want? What did he desire? God Kings of old took all that was theirs by divine right and at times Atem had been similar in his youth until father died, until crown had been forced upon young head until weight had broken his shoulders. What did he want? He didnât know. He thinks perhaps he has never known, and it is all he can do to grunt and force gaze away lest younger see as much within him.