" Between the heartbeats and 808, maybe there's space for me."
MOBILE: LINKS TO ALL PAGES HERE
original characters very loosely connected with Alex Enfield.
independent roleplay blog written by dais.
***PLEASE READ BIOGRAPHY AND GUIDELINES BEFORE INTERACTING!***
“You didn’t tell me he was going to be here,” Leo said out of the side of his mouth.
“Because I didn’t know.” He could see the tension in Bash’s neck and shoulders as he tried to avoid looking in their father’s direction. He’d have to speak to him eventually, of course—Sebastian was the whole reason everyone was here tonight—but the longer either of them could put that off, the better.
It didn’t help that Leo was already anxious. Not restless like his brother, who’d always had too much energy, absent, but rather the opposite. Hyperfocused on his phone.
Will was in London, filming. He’d be getting a taxi, then a train, and would be home well after this evening was over, and Leo knew his phone had to be turned off on set, but even the knowledge that Will would be travelling sometime that evening made him nervous. He needed to know when he was leaving, when he was onboard, what time he was due in. Not keeping tabs, but so he knew he was safe.
Leo had been in the back of an armoured truck when it was attacked. Even the thought of small journeys made him sweat, sometimes.
He glanced up from his screen ( no new messages ) to see Augustus shaking hands with the party member who’d waylaid him and moving across the room towards them.
“Shit, is that—? Better go before Percy destroys the entire drinks table,” Bash said, dashing off. Leo looked around. His nephew was nowhere near the table of delicate champagne glasses. Fucking traitor.
Still, he fixed a smile on his face and prayed this conversation would be quickly over. Surely, Bash was worthy of more attention than him tonight?
WILL
Will still had his suit on. Very luckily, wardrobe said he could messenger it back once they found out he was planning to surprise Leo. It didn’t take much convincing, chatting to a couple of the girls about how incredible his fiancé was had done wonders. It fit like a glove, slim and a beautiful blue colour that stood out from the black ones drifting around in the already crowded room.
As soon as he spotted Leo, he awkwardly sped over to him, grabbing him by the waist with the intention to show him just how much Will had missed him. It hadn’t been so long this time, three days in London versus the weeks to months they were used to. But it never got easier. “Hey Baby-“
He wanted to hold him, shower him in love to cover up for the fact he would get a small telling off for show. But something was off...
LEO
Leo was in the middle of a sentence, answering Augustus's question about work--Why did you give up an active role in the army for a desk job in Manchester of all places? Sounding more accusative than concerned, even though Leo's injuries might have made touring legitimately too much for him, as time went on--when arms around his waist cut him off.
He knew that touch, knew that voice in his ear, and for a second, he felt all the things he should have felt ( joy, exasperation, love, desire ), but then all those emotions were overtaken by a heavy feeling in his stomach. Fear. His father's blue eyes were boring into him, and Leo felt that familiar wave of panic and nausea come over him.
He scrambled to push Will's hands off, turning over his shoulder with wide eyes and a minute shake of his head. He wanted to say, Hey, baby, back. What are you doing here, you bastard? Give me a kiss. But all that actually came out was, "Will, this is--This is my father. Can you--?" Not. Thanks.
WILL
His chest was swollen with pride, but his brows knotted together as Leo shoved his hands away. This wasn’t right. The full sense of fear on his face was easy to read but didn’t make any sense. Will didn’t see the small shake, instead going for a kiss on the cheek once he had his fiancé in front of him. He pressed his body against Leo’s, trying to set a hand on the back of his neck and totally missing these cues.
At the start it had been Will who was the one to dictate what they acted like in public, so even now he set the pace. He had missed Leo more than anything. Only then did the words sink in, Will glancing back over Leo’s shoulder at the older man. “W-what? Wait, this is who?”
LEO
"My father," Leo repeated, taking a step back to avoid the kiss and the reach of Will's hand. He so badly wanted to lean into them, into him, and let all of this go, but he froze up as soon as he thought about it. "Dad, this is Will. He's a--friend--of mine, from--"
"--Yes. Very friendly, by the looks of things," Augustus said, cutting across him disapprovingly. "A handshake will suffice for me, thank you." His eyes were glacial as he held out his right hand towards Will. "You served together in Afghanistan, did you?"
WILL
Will’s eyes moved from Leo, to Augustus, and back again. Right. That father. The father who pushed him too far and had him feeling so small. Now he really looked at his boyfriend, Leo wasn’t carrying himself right. His shoulders weren’t so broad, and his eyes...
His jaw tightened visibly at Augustus’s remark. But he blinked, and smiled all the same. “Not together, no.” He didn’t extend a hand to Augustus, preferring instead to try and thread his fingers through Leo’s. He looked like he needed it. And Will didn’t need the disapproving look of shock the sight of his hand would earn.
“I was with a different branch, also got blown up. Turns out it’s way more common than you’d think.”
He turned back to Leo, more focused on him. “You alright? You want a drink or something? I can-“
LEO
Leo wasn't as tall as his father or his brothers ( even Bella had two inches on him ), but the way he held himself usually made him look taller. Head up, shoulders back, back straight. But in front of Augustus he seemed to have shrunk. Hunched in on himself, like he was ashamed to be standing there. And no wonder.
"Stand up straight. I can't believe you'd get away with that on the parade square." Augustus let his hand linger for another couple of seconds before dropping it with an unimpressed hum. "So you met where?"
"In the rehab centre," Leo explained. "Yeah--yes--a drink would be--" He managed a small smile. "--Great." He put a hand on Will's arm and gave it a quick squeeze. "Why don't I catch up with you in a bit?"
But Augustus wasn't going to let him go so easily. "No," he said. "Stay. I'd be very interested to hear more." Specifically about his relationship with his youngest son.
WILL
It was hard not to cover his neck in kisses, anything to give be Leo his pride back. But Will tried to read his other half better, pick up on the cues. Augustus was only interested in taking a chunk out of him. “It’s Major now, if you want to address him properly.”
Normally the story of how they met was accompanied with awkward laughter. Nervous and a little hesitant but Leo told it so well. But Will stood fully confused, the ring he had given Leo still visible on his finger. The friend comment he could understand, but the fact Leo’s parents seemed totally clueless? That stung.
He placed his undamaged hand on Leo’s, giving it a small squeeze too. “What do you want me to do?” He was fully ignoring Augustus until he turned back to the old man.
“What do you want to know?”
LEO
"And it's Lord," Augustus countered, "If you wish to address me properly." His cold stare moved from Will to Leo and back again. "I want to know why you're here. This is event is for party and family members only, as I understood it."
Leo's fingers curled around Will's, not letting him go. He didn't want to do this, not here, not now--not ever, if he was honest--but he also didn't want to be left alone with Augustus. He looked around for Bash again, but he'd made himself very scarce, the bastard. "Stay," he said. "Please. Will's here because I invited him, Dad."
"Why?" A sandy eyebrow was raised towards his whitening hairline.
"Because like you said, this thing is for family. And Will is my family now."
WILL
It took a second for him to bite back the retort of I don’t. as he felt Leo hold his hand too. It was a start. He was stood on Leo’s right, fighting the urge to lean against him for support like he always did. It had been a long day and he had expected a nice evening with the person he loved most in the world, not this.
Will have his hand a small squeeze with his two good fingers. “You sure?” His voice was so low it was only designed for Leo to hear. “We can go, you don’t have to be here.”
LEO
Leo bit down on the inside of his lip ( best not to show any outward signs of weakness in front of Augustus ) as he watched Will lean his weight more on his right foot. He was tired, off balance, and all Leo wanted to do was wrap an arm around his middle, kiss his cheek, and hold him close.
But he had to settle for keeping hold of his hand.
“Yeah. I promised Sebastian I’d stay to see his speech and—“
“—Where is your brother, Leopold? We’re all here for him, and he’s not even shown his face yet.”
Good question, Leo thought. “I think he had to take a phone call. Do you want me to go and—?”
“—No.” Apparently Augustus was incapable of letting his son finish a sentence. “I’ll go. Thank you. Make sure you stop and say hello to your mother, she worries about you. But don’t go too far. I’m not finished with you yet.”
WILL
Again, Will ignored Augustus completely. “I’ll make excuses. Blame me if you want, we can get out of here and-“
Augustus was hitting every last nerve he had. At once. He was gripping Leo’s hand just a little too tight.
“Do you want to see your mum?”
LEO
“No,” Leo said, letting go of a long breath as Augustus turned and walked away from them. His shoulders dropped a little way, but his chest seemed to be caving in in the centre. “I mean—Not yet. I just need a minute.”
He slipped an arm around Will’s middle, selfishly looking for support as much as he was now supporting his fiancé. “We should sit down, you must be exhausted. Have you come straight from the studio? I thought you weren’t going to be done in time.”
WILL
The very second Augustus was out of earshot, Will felt Leo change. “What the fuck was his problem?” He muttered, half under his breath and half through gritted teeth. But Leo pulled him close, propped him up so it was easier to take some weight off. He leaned into him, but nothing more to show any real affection.
“You said friend, to your dad. You said we were friends.”
That had been playing over and over in his mind, a little eased by the fact Leo had also called him family.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I’m sorry I couldn’t text on the road, my phone was dead.”
LEO
“What?” Leo’s mind was elsewhere, in work mode, looking for exits; it took him a minute to catch up with what Will was saying. “Oh, yeah, look … Can we go outside a second? It’s a bit hot in here. Crowded.” He still felt like Augustus’s eyes were boring into his back.
They started moving towards the door. There were gardens out the back of the hotel, places for them to sit, for Will to take the weight off his leg. Leo didn’t speak again till he’d dropped down onto a bench, face hidden in his hands. “The thing is, my dad doesn’t exactly—know that I’m out? And I didn’t know how to tell him here. I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was going to be here. Didn’t know you were going to be here. But I’m so glad to see you, baby, please …”
And finally, Leo leaned in for a kiss.
WILL
Will nodded, following behind Leo with his usual awkward gait. He was a little more stiff than he was letting on, a downside from being on his feet all day. It would be fine when he had a chance to settle. Will say down next to Leo, an arm immediately draping back over where his shoulders should be, an invitation to lean on him now.
But the words caught him off guard. Will pulled back, dodging the kiss himself this time. “What? What do you mean he didn’t know?”
He was a bit in shock at that. They had been talking marriage and babies, a real future together. And somehow this felt like the kind of important thing he should have known. “Does he know anything about us?”
LEO
Leo loved the spot where Will’s shoulder met his neck; it was the perfect place for him to lay his head, with plenty of access to Will’s throat, which was often as bruised as his own. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to do just that, get in nice and close, but Will pulled away from him, looking at him like he’d suddenly grown a second head or something.
“I mean,” Leo said heavily, slumping further into his seat. Augustus wasn’t even here now, and he was still making Leo look small. “He doesn’t know. Well, he probably does now, but—I’ve never talked to him about it. Mum knew. She knows all about you. She doesn’t mention it. But she knows I’m in love with and engaged to the most amazing man I have ever met and will ever meet, and I hope she can find it in herself to come to the wedding. But Dad—“ He winced.
“—I knew he wouldn’t like it. There were so many times I went to tell him, but he has this way of looking at you and just—making you freeze up. So, I haven’t yet, and I’m sorry. But I meant what I said in there. You’re my family, and I love you, I’m just—I’m a fucking coward is what I am.”
WILL
His hand slipped slowly from the back of the bench up Leo’s spine, drifting softly over the back of his blazer. This was a lot to take in, especially here and now. They had been together almost a decade, and seeing how Leo seized up when it came to talking about his parents they just... didn’t come up. But Will assumed they knew about him in the very least.
“Right. So you’ve not done that conversation. Does he know you’re getting married? What does he think is going on?”
Maybe ignorance was bliss. But Will was wound tight now, and frustrated at this whole situation. He swallowed the worst of his hurt at being kept in the dark to try and make the best of a bad batch.
“No, you’re not a coward. Don’t say that. Just... you see how this looks to me, right? We’ve been together almost a bloody decade.”
LEO
“No.” Leo’s left hand suddenly felt very heavy, the ring Will had given him weighing it down like it never had done before. “He doesn’t know anything.” He started fiddling with it, twisting it round and round on his finger. “We don’t talk about this kind of thing. Feelings. He doesn’t care how we feel, just as long as we’re doing something that makes him look good.”
He was breathing heavily, but the hand on his back helped a bit. It would have been more grounding if Will had been less tense, but, Leo reasoned, he had every right to be standoffish with him. “I know, I get it, I do. If our positions were reversed …” He shook his head. “… But just because I didn’t tell one person, Will, that doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I’m not ashamed of you, I was trying to protect you.”
WILL
“What about your brothers? Your aunt and uncle? Did you ask them not to say anything?” His thumb moved in small circles, trying to encourage Leo to take deep breaths. But he was too focused right now to be loving, this was almost the version of him that had been in the army. Information gathering, listening intently, listing off everything he could to help.
It was the same with racing now. In a way. Yet it was so different from the calm and switched off person he usually was.
“It’s not one person Leo, it’s you dad. And you know that. I’m a grown man, you don’t need to protect me.”
LEO
He gave another shake of his head. “Of course not. I didn’t lie, and I didn’t ask any of them to lie for me either. Bash and August don’t talk to him if they can avoid it, and Uncle Thomas, well, him and Dad work together, but they’re on opposite sides of the fence, and they’re about as friendly as cats and dogs, you know?” Leo’s eyes fluttered closed. He rested his forehead against Will’s cheek.
“Maybe I was trying to protect myself too.”
WILL
Leo leaned into him and Will melted just a little. He couldn’t stay angry, it didn’t feel fair. And whatever he tried to say now wasn’t going to help at all. He moved his arm to hold Leo against his chest, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he settled. “Does he know about August and Bucky?” The last thing Will wanted to do was cause more problems.
He sighed, thinking for just a moment and enjoying the feeling of Leo in his arms. “Do you want me to go?”
LEO
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” The kiss made him smile. At last, something felt normal between them. The gap Leo had felt opening up got just a little bit smaller.
But when Will asked if he wanted him to go … Leo sat up again, eyes blown wide. “No, please.” His hands fumbled to find Will’s in the dark. “I mean, if you want to go, I understand, but—if I can still ask you to stay? Otherwise, I’ll come with you, we’ll go home. If you’ll still have me, partner.”
WILL
“If you want me here, then I’m not going anywhere.” Will lent forwards, hands cupping Leo’s face as their lips finally met for the first time this evening. Maybe he should have asked, maybe he should have checked if anyone was coming to make Leo feel better but it had been on his mind even throughout the rollercoaster of meeting Augustus. It was slow and soft, gentle when compared to the usual level of desperate kisses they shared. It always felt like it was going to be too long till they could kiss again.
He paused only to murmur against Leo’s lips, his voice practically a purr. “Forever and beyond, baby. I missed you.”
But there was the very real question of what to do next. Making out with the love of his life was sure to get Augustus asking more questions, it had just been so long since he hadn’t felt comfortable in a room with Leo. His whole life had changed in the last ten years.
“He’s going to know. You’re wearing your ring, and I tried to practically tackle you in there. What do you want to do?”
LEO
Leo felt lost without Will’s hands wrapped around his, but he didn’t have to wait long until they were holding either side of his face, drawing him closer, and Leo gave into the kiss gratefully. It was slow and soft, reassuring, but after a couple of seconds, Leo needed more. He opened his mouth, sliding his tongue up against Will’s.
He’d missed him too.
He wanted to stay in this little outside bubble, under the umbrella, and not think about what came next, but Will was right. Even if Augustus couldn’t see them right now, he was going to find out. He had probably already figured that there was more to their relationship than ‘friends’, which was why he’d started needling them.
“I want to tell him,” Leo said in a small voice. “I hate that he doesn’t know. But here’s not exactly the place, not exactly the time. It’s so public. But maybe that will make him behave a bit better?” It was a long shot, but it might work, he supposed.
WILL
Without thinking, without even really registering, Will let a small moan escape from his mouth as Leo deepened the kiss. He wanted another one, and another one, and to not think about the rest of the evening at all. This was his happy place, right here. His hands moved to Leo’s waist, pulling him as close as the awkward bench would allow. He stopped thinking about appearances entirely. Just one more kiss and maybe it would fade away completely.
“I love you.” He wanted to say it. He wanted Leo to know that no matter what he felt was right, it didn’t change anything. Will was going to be there to support him, to bolster him, to hold him tight. “I love you, I mean it.”
He let his forehead press against Leo’s, not moving away further away than he had to in order to catch his breath.
LEO
"I love you too." Leo's hands had found their way up to Will's face, thumbs brushing over jawbones. His movements were clumsy, desperate, he thought for a moment about climbing into Will's lap. Then he remembered Will was in pain with his leg and thought better of it.
He was as close to him as he could get, though, knees touching, hands touching, mouths touching, until Will pulled away. Even then, he didn't go far. Leo breathed out, tightened his fingers on Will's cheeks. "I love you so much, I--"
Footsteps on the path, frost crunching underfoot. A woman's footsteps, judging by the click of her heels, but still Leo shuffled back slightly.
"Mum," he said.
"Darling." Vivienne was a tall woman with dark hair, like Leo's. She had a fur wrap around her shoulders, pulling it tighter as the wind blew past them again. "Someone said they saw you coming out here, and I was worried; the weather's not very nice. Why don't you come in?" Her smile was vague as she looked from her favourite son to his companion, but there was something sharp about the eyes. "Is this your--Is this him? It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Morrissey, but you must stop monopolising Leo. None of us have seen him for months, and his father's looking for him, you know."
WILL
Will was about to kiss him again, hands ready to pull Leo onto his lap and forget where they were altogether. There was the hotel room upstairs too, with rose petals on the bed and champagne in the fridge. He had really gone all out, because they hadn’t really had a chance to take a breather since getting engaged. Sure, they’d both furiously proposed in what was a hilarious mix up at the airport and then proceeded to celebrate in the car, in the flat, in the hallway... but it wasn’t the same. He wanted it to be a treat, and had really thought this one through. He wanted Leo to know he cared, and that he was here for the long haul.
The grip on his cheeks had Will reaching forwards again in search of his lips before the sound of someone approaching cut him off. Leo loved away, and Wills hands did too. He was going to do better at following cues this time.
Will swallowed and nodded. “Yes.” He didn’t want to say it was nice to meet her. He didn’t really want to lie. He looked from her to Leo to check in. “Do you need some more air? We’re not in a rush.”
LEO
Leo put a hand on Will's knee and gave it a squeeze. He wasn't ready--really, he didn't care if he froze to death if he and Will could just stay out here, uninterrupted--but he knew if he didn't go in now, he wouldn't go back in at all, and he'd feel worse about that in the morning. A coward, even if Will said he wasn't one.
"I'm all right. Could do with a drink, actually, so shall we go back in, make the most of the free bar?" He grinned and got up, offering Will his hand. This time, he was determined not to let go of it. "Mum, here ..." He offered Vivienne his other arm, so she did not slip on the ice as they made their way back inside the hotel. "How was your trip down?"
WILL
Will took the hand, awkwardly shifting his weight as he got up. As always, he was on Leo’s right. But he nodded, staying quiet to listen to Leo speak to his mother. He didn’t really have anything to add, and he wanted to get a good reads on the woman.
LEO
"Hey, all right?" Leo stopped to make sure Will had his balance once, then again going down the stone steps, and across the threshold of the room. There was a blast of warm air, some smalltalk between mother and son that gave nothing away. Like Leo said, Vivienne did not even entertain topics she considered to be 'problematic'.
She promised to save seats at the big table by the window, but before Leo could make good on that drink, they were all being ushered to sit down, as food was being brought out. They had to get an extra chair and place setting made up for Will, who hadn't been expected.
Leo sat between him and his mother. Will had Augustus on his other side.
"Sorry to lean over you," Leo said with a small smile. He was still holding Will's hand underneath the table. "I wanted to make the proper introductions. Dad, this is Will Morrissey, and he's my fiancé."
On Leo's other side, Vivienne's lips grew thin. "Leopold," she hissed. "This is not appropriate here."
WILL
Will nodded again, but he shuffled awkwardly on the step and had to hang onto the rail. He was so much more graceful on wheels than on his feet. He moved into his seat awkwardly too, wondering if he should have spoken to Bash about showing up. He had just assumed it would work itself out, he wasn’t close with Leo’s oldest brother but they seemed to get on well enough.
Will squeezed the hand in his, rubbing his thumb over Leo’s knuckles. He could read was was going to happen, lowering his voice again to put his boyfriend at ease. “It’s okay, you-“ he didn’t want to force it, he didn’t want Leo to feel like he had no choice. It was fine, he’d be fine. But there it was.
The first time Will had heard him use the word Fiancé.
He should have been ready, but it caught him off guard. He smiled wide, his grin beaming back at Leo. Who he wanted to kiss then and there. Another hand squeeze would have to suffice. “Yeah- thats me. Hi.”
LEO
Leo's answering smile was wobbly as he waited for his father's response. That word, fiancé, was like a hot air balloon; it made his chest swell and filled his belly with warmth. The problem was, Augustus's attitude was likely to bring all that crashing to the ground. His words could make Leo feel deflated at the best of times, and while he was happy with Will, this situation wasn't ideal.
He did have to see it through, though. He owed Will that much. And he owed it to himself to be honest.
Augustus did not say anything for a long time, and when he finally did, it was to his wife. "You knew about this?" That was his first concern. "And what about the people at your work, Leopold--do they know too? Because I'm telling you, if anyone gets a whiff of this, you can kiss any further promotions goodbye."
He didn't look at Will once.
WILL
“Your son has been promoted in the last year, remember?” Will could take insults. He’d heard them before, muttered under people’s breath when they saw him and Leo together from time to time. It was a feeling, like hair up on the back of his neck that just told him he was unwanted. And he was okay with it.
What he couldn’t take was being ignored. “Leo is a brilliant leader, and he’s so patient. With recruits. With me. He’s a real credit to the army and his family.”
He wanted to carry on singing Leo’s praises, or maybe just kiss him instead. But instead he raised his good hand to lean across and put on Leo’s knee beneath the table, turning to face him more.
“You amaze me every day.” Baby. He was careful not to say it, but Leo would know it was there.
LEO
“My son can speak for himself,” Augustus said coldly. Never mind the way he’d interrupted Leo earlier. “Do they know, Leopold?”
“Yes, and they don’t care.” He said this a little more sharply than he’d intended to. How many times had he had to defend his relationship to people, family and strangers alike? He was tired of it. “Because I’m damn good at my job.”
Vivienne made a little noise of protest, but he ignored her, Will’s words making him smile. He put his hand over Will’s on his knee and looked up at him, blue eyes under dark lashes. “I’m not as amazing as you.”
He turned back to his family with renewed courage and conviction. “Will is an incredible man, and I’m so lucky to be his.”
At the top table, Sebastian stood up, lying a hand on Cee’s arm and bending back down to say something to her, smiling, before he took the microphone that was offered to him. “If I could just have a couple of minutes of your attention before we all eat, thank you …”
Augustus turned over his shoulder to look at his eldest son before facing forwards again, eyeballing Leo unpleasantly. “This is not the man I raised you to be. I don’t think disappointment is a strong enough word.”
WILL
“Your right, he can. So why don’t you let him?” Will couldn’t let that one go. It very much ground in his gears that Augustus was so selective. And he was so willing to argue back that Leo was the better of the two of them until his boyfriend found his words. He just needed confidence.
He let Leo speak, his soft smile spreading as he did. He completely missed the fuss at the top table, lost in the earnest blue eyes. But Augustus once again tried to put Leo down.
“Disappointed in what?” Will’s grip tightened, the loving look lost as he seemed to switch in an instant. “Disappointed at the fact he was willing to risk his life for his country? Disappointed he managed to work through recovery and chose to put himself in harms way over and over again? I meant what I said, he’s a credit to his family. But none of that is thanks to you. If anything, it’s in spite of you.”
His mouth was running away with him, and he needed to stop. He had said he would behave after all. Will turned back to Leo, leaning in to make it clear he wasn’t interested in what Augustus had to say in return. “We don’t have to stay, you shouldn’t have to put yourself through this. We can go, if you want. I’m sorry I made such a big deal baby, it’s really not important to me-“
LEO
Leo was quiet for a moment, one half of his face red with shame and rage. When he spoke, his voice started off low, but it grew louder and more passionate as he got into his stride. "You're right." Barely audible. "No, you're both right. This isn't the man you raised. The way you brought me up--or had me brought up, might be more accurate--taught me to be strong, to stand up for myself and for what I thought was right. That last bit definitely came more from Uncle Thomas. But while I sit here and let you go on at me without talking back, I'm just giving you more ammunition. I'm gay--gay as in I like to sleep with men--just one man these days--and gay as in happy because of that one man--and the only thing that's disappointing about that is that you can't accept it."
He didn't realise he had stood up until he was on his feet and his chair had crashed to the floor behind him. Bash paused and looked at him, aghast, but Leo didn't even notice. "I'm changing my name, I'm making a new family with Will, and you can be a part of that, if you want, but it's got to come from you now. I'm done trying to please you, when nothing I do will ever be good enough. Bash is going to be the next Prime Minister, for God's sake, and you still pick faults with him."
Finally, a glance up at the top table. Leo and Bash looked at each other--Bash white in the face--and Leo cringed apologetically. "So, yeah--" Voice loud enough for the whole room to here. "--To summarise, vote for Sebastian, and--call me, Dad, if you can find it in yourself to change your mind. Mum," he turned to look at her and gave half a shrug. "Call me, please."
Then he turned on his heel, a perfect military manoeuvre, and marched out of the room.
WILL
Will watched the whole thing rather than really living it. He was seeing it unfold with nothing but concern and care. He knew Leo was incredibly brave, and that he would choose his moment to find his voice. And Will wanted nothing more than to pick up the glass of champagne in front of him, down it and cheers to the room in celebration. Because it had been incredible.
Yet the look between Bash and Leo set him back down to reality. Will stood awkwardly, hurriedly following Leo as fast as he could and not caring at the eyes on him. He bolted through the double doors, only stopping when he had hold of Leo’s cheeks in his hands. He was standing between Leo and the exit, and he wanted to pull him close then and there. And he put Leo first.
“Hey— hey look at me. What do you want to do? You said you wanted to hear Bash speak? I’ll go back in there with you, I’ll get the train home. I have a hotel room upstairs I don’t care just...” he could hear confused talking from inside, as voices raised a little. But his own eyes never left Leo for a second. “How can I help you right now? Tell me what you need.”
LEO
“You.” It was that simple: Will was everyone and everything Leo would ever want or need again. Fuck his father’s prejudice, his mother’s subservient nature, even Bash’s anger at him stealing the spotlight on tonight of all nights, Leo. If none of them spoke to him again, what did he care? He had Will. And they were all as bad as each other.
His hands sprang up hold Will’s face, pulling him into a rough kiss. “Bash won’t miss me,” he insisted raggedly when he moved on to mouthing at Will’s neck. “A room? I might make it to the lift. This is a fancy place, might even have mirrors, what do you say? Think we can hold it up for a little while, baby?”
WILL
He returns the kiss without thinking, all passion and desire. All the things Augustus would curse them for. It didn’t matter, because his heart swelled in his chest. And then there was Leo’s lips on his neck, hands and his back, instantly irresistible. But Will pushed him back, putting space between them so that he could get a full look at the man he loved. God he wanted to give in now be pressed up against the glass.
“Leo, Leo look at me. I need you to be sure, alright? We can have a conversation if you want, I’m sure Sebastian will understand...” he wasn’t going to let Leo live to regret this. He was so justified, so in the right but family... family wasn’t so easy to settle. “I will do whatever you want but I’m here. I promise.”
LEO
Leo didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to think, but Will’s strong hands forced him to, just for a minute. He stood, held at arm’s length, breathing heavily, but the command helped. Look at me. After what felt like a lifetime in the army, he was quick to do as he was told.
Blue eyes raised, hands gripping Will’s wrists. “I’m sure,” he said, almost pleadingly. “I’m sure. I just want to pretend tonight went exactly as you planned, and then we can deal with anything else tomorrow. Please, Will, you asked me what I needed, I need you. I need you.”
WILL
That was all the confirmation Will needed. His hands slipped from Leo’s face to his collar, pulling him in again. Drinking him in, pressing messy kiss after messy kiss against him. Every few heavy breaths he found enough space to whisper I love you so softly only Leo would hear him. Someone pushed aside the door to the ballroom, and the stir inside pulled his attention for just a moment.
“Upstairs. Come on.” His grin was back firmly in place, knowing in his heart this was too good to be true. The illusion would shatter at some point, be in minutes or hours from now. But if Leo wanted to live in this moment, Will wasn’t going to be the one to break the spell. He wrapped his arm around Leo’s, leading him towards the lifts. “If you rip this suit the girls from wardrobe are going to kill me.”
LEO
"I love you. I love you. I love you." Leo's voice was low and yearning as he repeated it back to him, hands splayed across Will's cheeks, nails and the edge of his ring digging into skin.
He was still trying to kiss Will as he steered them towards the lifts. "Better wait till we get upstairs then," he muttered against his mouth. He didn't have the patience for buttons or zips right now. Would very happily have just torn it off him.
It ended up crumpled on a chair, Will having as little time for finesse as Leo, it seemed. Leo could see it when he opened his eyes. His head was pillowed on Will’s chest, somewhere between asleep and awake. “You’ve worn me out, Moz.” But the complaint was half-hearted at best. “How was that? One for the highlights reel?”
Aidan laughed. “What’s fair got to do with anything? This life is all about learning to play the game. For example, you can beat a man to death and get away with it if you’ve got a good lawyer. Not exactly what you’d call justice, but that’s the way it goes. Not that I’d expect you to know that.” His lips curled into a sneer over the rim of his glass. Elliot was as green as they came, the kind of man who still thought there were rules and a referee to make sure the dice landed on the right side of wrong every time. The kind of man Aidan couldn’t stand. “It’s simple, but. I don’t like you, and that’s all the excuse I need—all the excuse anyone on my patch needs—to keep you out.”
He raised his pint in a sardonic toast to that, but his grip on the outside of the glass was white-knuckled and tense. “Alex will do anything to provoke a reaction, to get your attention, good or bad; as long as you’re looking at her, she thinks she’s all right. But if you can’t see that for what it is, if you actually think she’s happy, I don’t know what I can say that will get through to you. To be honest with you, I’m not even going to try. Not just because you’re thick, but because it doesn’t matter. Alex is mine now. You don’t need to know anything about her.” It didn’t matter if she talked or not, Aidan knew her better, knew what she wanted, and more importantly, what she needed. He could give her it all.
“Alex is no longer any of your business, and my relationship with my wife never has been. Mate. Poking his nose in where it didn’t belong got Charlie Fox killed. At least, that’s what I heard in court. Terrible business.” He met Elliot’s gaze head on. “I’d hate to think of the same thing happening to you.”
“ Right. Glad it’s simple to you. Real happy you two have each other. Quick question, how long do you think till she calls me up again? How long till she gets cold feet and realises you’re not enough?”
He needed to stop pushing. But he was pretty sure even with Aidan here, he was fine. Alex wouldn’t want this fuss. She never really wanted the pair of them to meet, let alone share a beer. He took another sip from his glass, pulling out his wallet to set a tenner down on the bar.
“ Face it -- she’s been playing us off one another for fucking years. And this time she’s really done well for herself, made herself a home-wrecker. I always knew she had it in her.”
Their relationship had been open, in a sense. They were a destructive and explosive pair. Alex never really cheated as such, just strayed away and came back when she needed something. He was the constant. It had Elliot sure that this wouldn’t last.
“ This is just the latest way to get back at me. Up until recently, I was flavour of the month. Enjoy your time in the sun, it won’t last. It never does. She’s not fucking happy unless she can fuck you over. You know that.”
The coldly polite smile said just that. He’d let Elliot talk and then they’d see where that went, wouldn’t they. A tried and true tactic - the less Sebastian had to say, the more his victim would want to fill the silence. Elliot had gotten an interrogation at the beginning, but this was far, far removed from that. No pretense of friendliness, no way to melt the ice.
“Does he tell the truth because he’s the hero or is he the hero because he tells the truth?”
It was all about construction of the narrative. Sebastian could believe what he liked from both Elliot and Alex, but holding her up as clearly the liar of the pair wasn’t doing him any favors. “And what do you think of the attention you’re getting now?” There was plenty of it. Sebastian had done his due diligence.
“Is it?”
What Sebastian had seen hadn’t been complaining. Alex had been a wreck. Certainly, he wouldn’t argue that she was completely in the right, but it was one thing to have a private issue and a very different one to bring it all into the open.
Elliot had prepared for the older man to get in his space, maybe throw out threats or accusations. The constant stream of rhetorical questions caught him off guard. He had always liked the oldest Moran, even if he was a little stuffy. Elliot took a sip of his drink, relaxing against the bar.
“ I get it’s pretty much your job or whatever to have a problem with me right now, but we’re good. Honest.”
“ I’m not a hero. I never claimed to be. I was in a shitty relationship and I wrote about it -- the same way any other artist would. And I’m not sorry if a dose of the truth got her a little bothered.”
Nothing he had said was an outright lie. He hadn’t been exactly great int he way he had framed most of the situations, but the critics seemed to eat it up. NME adored him, there was talk about awards contention for the band. It was the break they had been searching desperately for, that she would have been part of if she had chosen to stick it out.
If she hadn’t just vanished.
“ Tell her she should have kept the fuckin’ Smiths t-shirt. That was cruel.”
“I’m not your mate.” Aidan finished his pint in one swallow and gestured to the barman for another. Already, he was annoyed; the beer was thin, and this arrogant little prick was just begging for a fist in his face, but he’d sworn to himself that, tonight, he would keep his temper in check. For Alex. “And I didn’t ask, so why don’t you shut your fecking mouth before I’m tempted to make you and take a seat?” He shoved a stool towards Elliot and raised an eyebrow. “I’m waiting. But I should warn you, I’m not a patient man. I don’t want to be here all night.”
He hooked his foot through the legs of a second stool and drew it closer, stepping up backwards to sit down. “I hear you’d a couple of gigs coming up in London. They’re cancelled now. And there’s no point trying to rebook either; no one on the Southbank’ll have you in their bars or clubs after the album you just put out. D’ye want to know why?” He took a thoughtful sip of the beer he’d just been handed and smiled. “Because of me. I control everything that happens there, and I say you’re done, so you’re done, right? You can stay in the north and play your pathetic, whiny music all you like, but open your mouth to say one more word about Alex ever again, especially to me, and I swear, you’ll be eating through a tube the rest of your life. Is that really something you want, McAlister? You don’t know her, you never did, and this just fecking proves it.”
“ Well I think we’re a bit more than acquaintances, don’t you?”
He resented that. During their relationship, he had become close with her friends. Even Aidan, to some respect. Whatever Alex and him had or hadn’t been didn’t matter, Alex was over it and so was Elliot. He could keep up with whatever happened in her wake.
“ For fucks sake--”
It made sense now. They had been trying to get some intimate shows off the ground in London but booking had been nearly impossible. They had ended up having to try and get some record stores on the north side of the river before they played they O2 in the coming weeks.
“ And that seems fair to you?”
Elliot took a seat, only after Aidan had. He wasn’t threatened, even if he had a decent idea what Aidan Fitzgerald was capable of. It was all over the tabloids, after all.
“ Why the fuck am I being punished for spending five years of my life with a person who didn’t give two shits about me? I know her. Better that you ever did.”
He had been there through the worst of it. Aidan got the wild ride, he got the low nights and speechless person Alex became when he wasn’t around. As her friend, as her flatmate, as something more... when whatever shot show she had been through with Aidan had ended, Elliot was the one putting the pieces back together. Only to find that now, she had made herself happy with some other woman’s husband. So on brand for her.
“ She’s got something to say to me - she can say it to my face. If she wants to talk at all. Why don’t you go home to your wife, mate?”
Although he was hardly the type to start a fight, he couldn’t help but let his mouth run.
‘you know i have feelings for you.’ / ram for laurie
for @theasteriae
“ Sure you do. You’ve got feelings for everyone, you know that.”
It would be so easy to get swept up his declaration of love. It was difficult to deny that a piece of Laurie had been in love with his best friend for decades, a little more than he wanted to admit. He wanted it to mean more than that.
Laurie reached his free hand across the table, threading his fingers delicately though Rams’. It wasn’t unusual, given how physically close they had always been.
Yet Ram played to the room in a way Laurie would never keep up with, or understand. Jim, Alex, whoever else was around to be his audience. Maybe this was the threat of prison that had taken root in his head, made him think twice.
“You are unbelievable. You know I am putting my neck on the line by just hanging out with you and you still chose to be a cunt. My social neck, anyway. I’ll be an outcast.”
“ Well then I guess I should be grateful, right? Next round is on me, how’s that?”
“ If it makes you feel any better, this outcast life isn’t so bad.”
“If multitasking doesn’t work for you, then yeah, that’s probably the best way to do it.”
He didn’t have to be mean, but the opportunity had presented itself.
“Fun is one way to put it. Busy might be more accurate.” Elliot didn’t need to know that he’d ignored Alex for several years and still barely remembered Jasper’s existence. He also avoided saying anything about the likelihood of Elliot’s sister being actually well-adjusted humans in comparison to his. “Alex is quite a bit younger, so I at least had time to get used to having one sister before the next one was introduced.”
“I’d have kept it to myself, personally.” How was he supposed to build up any sort of trust or at least friendliness if Elliot clearly had terrible taste? If Alex had been there, he’d have made a remark about her standards being far too low. He’d have to tell her later. “You could say it louder and see what happens. That would likely give you a good idea of the intelligence of letting it slip as well.” It wasn’t a direct threat. It wasn’t his fault if anything happened, not really.
“A sucker.” Without question. “Far too easily swayed to abandon your loyalties at the drop of a hat. It might impress her for a moment, but we all know you’re not on the right side.” Harsh, but this was important.
“ Yeah -- alright, I had that one coming.”
Sebastian wasn’t exactly friendly, but Elliot had hardly expected fuzzy and welcoming. Alex didn’t talk much about her family other than to moan about them, and given her nature, he guessed the apples didn’t fall far from the tree.
“ Don’t think it matters on the timing. You never get used to ‘em.”
He thought three was a lot, but five? That had to have been a wild ride growing up. Not that he was going to keep digging. Sebastian seemed to be as much of a closed book as his sister, although maybe that was to do with the whole politics thing. He brought his drink to hips lips, taking a sip with a grin. So there was the thinly veiled threat. Well, he could understand the impulse.
“ Guess your kid sister has me around her little finger. Pretty sure there’s nothing a man alive could do to impress her though. Not going to stop me trying.”
He would keep trying. Over and over again. She was certainly worth it.
He puffed his chest out, setting his drink down on the bar. He wanted to handle this peacefully. He shoved his hands into his pockets, not exactly backing down but casual enough to try and diffuse the situation. It was his heart that had been smashed to pieces, he was the one left without so much as a goodbye. How was it fair she got half the world on her side?
“ I wouldn’t trust a fuckin’ word she says. I don’t know what you’ve heard but it’s not like she didn’t love the attention, alright?”
That was all Alex had wanted from him. A body to keep her warm, someone to toss aside the second things got rough. They were hardly kind to one another but they had spent the first half of their twenties growing up together. She had been the majority of his life, it only made sense she would feature so heavily on the debut release.
“ Bit rich of her to complain, if you ask me.”
Not that she had said any of it to him. If it had been an attempt at getting her attention, it hadn’t worked out so well.
