tommyinnit with issues

questioning/self dx (I can't decide) avpd bpd & npd, possibly traits of other pds (maybe ppd traits?) I'm also ctommyinnitkin

[avbpdtommy]

this was previously a private post but ngl I don't care anymore and I wanted to have public userboxes for everyone to see :p

this pinned post is just me keeping track of all (possible) disorders and (possible) traits I have, whether diagnosed, self-dx, or questioning. this changes every now and then as I question more or less and is overall only semi organized

you can find where I got all these userboxes by looking through the tag #userboxes

diagnosed: adhd inattentive-type, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, unspecified depressive disoer , other specified trauma- and stressor-related disorder

recognized undiagnosed: was told i have a lot of symptoms/traits of asd but not enough to be diagnosed with autism, (currently) sub-clinical ocd traits but concern of worsening was mentioned

heavily questioning/suspected and pretty positive I have/already self-dx: avpd, quiet/discouraged bpd, covert/vulnerable npd, (pure) ocd

other questioning things: possibly cluster a traits (leaning towards ppd traits the most but I'm getting less sure and think I might have more traits of szpd and/or stpd then I thought but that might be the asd +some other things)

other notes: I could have dpd traits but that might just be from the avbpd mix, I mainly think that I don't have traits of any other cluster c disorder other than avpd tho. I don't think I have any aspd specific traits despite having possible at least traits of all the other disorders in the cluster (don't feel like revising all this, but I might actually have more aspd traits than I thought, but they get over shadowed by the fact I have quiet bpd + avpd + covert npd). I could be wrong but I think I have "pure ocd" since as far as I'm aware I don't have any (or at least not obvious) compulsions. possibly have delusions that now I looked more into might be some bpd psychosis but idk gonna leave that part but I don't think it's as fully true now, I think I have had full on delusional episodes and very possibly some magical thinking but I'm not sure/can't remember clearly (growing up is realizing I've had way more delusional & paranoid episodes then I care to try and fully recognize, those periods of my life where scary), I don't think I've ever experienced hallucinations though

not gonna list up there but I think I could be plural, or that I at least have more severe dissociation than I thought. I knew i had some dissociation (things like bpd dissociation is pretty common, as well as I likely have (c)ptsd), but I think it's worse than I initially thought

most of these things I may never bring up to a therapist/psychiatrist because I am terrified of being told I'm wrong and either them being right OR them being wrong and me living in denial because of them for years before someone else tells me I have it

if you have scrolled this far you get to know who I interact from!! yay!

main blog - @teatasstomsmol

most active blog - @teadaddy

flag/term hoard - @tea-daddy

[funnier-with-avoidantpd]

Idk man just idk its like scary and also embarrassing man idk <- guy with the Always Scared And Embarrassed disorder

[psychresources]

How to comfort someone: with examples

Starting questions

"What's wrong?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"How can I help?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Do you want advice or just to talk?"

Actively listen

Emotional responses: "Oh no." "Oh my god." "What?!"

Sympathy: "I'm sorry you're going through this." "I'm sorry that happened to you."

Validate the severity: "That sounds awful." "That's terrible!" "That seems really tough."

Summarize what they're experiencing back to them: "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed." "So now you're hurt?"

Match their energy: "I'm just so frustrated." -> "It IS frustrating! It's pissing me off just to hear about it!"

Reassure: "It's okay to feel upset." "Anyone would feel upset about this." "You don't deserve this."

Relate: "I know how you feel because I experienced something similar." (Be sure to keep it brief and redirect the conversation back to them!)

Ask follow-up questions: "How are you feeling?" "How have you been handling it?" "Have you been sleeping well?"

Offer support

Offer physical comfort, such as a hug. Accept that they may not want one.

Tell them you care about them and/or that you love them.

Tell them you're there for them.

Ask if there's anything they need. If they don't know, offer something. Things like inviting them to spend time together soon or offering to bring food are typically good go-to options for most people.

Only give advice if they ask for it.

Check back in with them regularly.

Set boundaries

Don't feel stuck in the conversation: "I have to go to work, but I'll check in with you tonight." "I'm going to sleep, but you can call me if there's an emergency." "I have to go, but I really hope you feel better."

Set limits: "I'm not sure I can handle talking about this anymore, but I still want to be there for you. Let's do something together." "I'm not feeling up for talking about this right now, but I would still like to spend time with you. What else has been going on?"

Uplift (For use AFTER a conversation OR if they don't want to talk)

Be positive: tell jokes, act happy, send memes, be optimistic.

Encourage them to talk about and do other things (ideally with you).

Do something nice for them: give a gift, send them something that made you think of them, do something to make their life easier.

Accept that they may not be happy, and continue to enjoy their company anyway without pressuring them to be happy.

DON'T:

Offer advice unprompted.

Give unhelpful phrases (e.g. "Everything happens for a reason", or "It'll get better soon").

Say minimizing or invalidating things.

Further Reading:

Wikihow

Invalidation 101

[avbpdtommy]

i feel kinda gross thinking and now saying (typing) it, but I genuinely think one of the reasons I've been having so much trouble with people I know is that I am more progressive than them in at least a few topics

I feel like I saying that I'm dismissing other people intelligence even though I'm not just because that how a lot of people take it

but it's things like people around me refusing to speak more of a topic and therefore refusing to further educate themselves, or continuously saying the same prejudice, propaganda, fear mongering, or somethings straight dog whistle things despite saying these things causing more harm than good (such as people watering down groomer and/or not understanding it's definition, or people calling all child predators pedophiles despite the fact that paraphilic disorder are serious things that typically cause too much destress to be acted on or that there have been studied down showing that more often than not a lot of child predators especially if it's only offence weren't pedophiles but instead were just "opportunist" in their victims)

it's frustrating that there's people around me that can't grasp that how they speak and their refusals to adapt are more harmful then they are progressive, another big thing that urks me and makes it clear to me that someone doesn't know what they're talking about on certain matter is when someone believes that being a liberal and being a leftist are the same thing... if you think they are the same thing you are not as progressive as you believe you are and you definitely ARE NOT as far from the right as you think you are, if you have not taken the time to even learn about the usamerican political atmosphere I do not respect your opinion on more severe issue, I have known about the different ends since I was in middle school and I have already started taken action since the second I turned 18 since I voted for the first time a few weeks before my 18th bday and the second I had the chance to I have been signing petition to help with my local government

this has turned out way rantier than I planned, but it makes me so upset that people around me want to talk about issues that they refuse to actually learn about and for whatever reason believe that the news is a trustable source of info for everything, not to say that you can't get info from them but you NEED multiple sources, listen to middle ground news, leftwing rughtwing, and independent news sources on every matter and on top of that listen to people living things before you come to any conclusions and make opinion before you speak to me and repeat a dog whistle that was originally used by people who wanted my family to be dead for being jewish

[borderline-pd-culture-is]

Bpd culture is no matter how happy you may be in a specific moment, the emptiness is always there. It never goes away no matter how much progress you make, no matter how productive you are, and no matter how “normal” you may feel- it’s ALWAYS there. When you realize it’s there, it’s a sinking inescapable feeling. You realize how much everything around you was just a temporary distraction.

.

[chronicallyqueercoining2]

Emotional SH Flag

[Pt: Emotional SH Flag end pt]

A flag for those who engage in emotional self harm. (Ex: viewing triggers intentionally, causing flashbacks, negative self-talk, sabotaging relationships, aggravating symptoms, etc.)

Sorry to abbreviate the title. Sometimes the censoring is odd on here.

Requested by: @beyondeathunsingular1ty @divergenceandvariance

Any of our terms or flags or posts may be added to archives, wikis, other sites, etc. This is encouraged, in fact! Archives are important! I do not mind where you use my terms.

Anyone may use my terms; I will not police your usage.

MAD Taglist (DM OR SEND AN ASK TO BE ADDED OR REMOVED!) :

@aangel-biites @angelninetytwo @disabilityflagsarchive @disabilitypride @dumbbuglol @k2god @kitty-koins @mad-pride @madtrender @making-gender @natsuki-and-sayori @radiomogai @scarmogai @sketchytransgenderism @stardustmenagerie @the-stardust-clusterr @themogaidragon

[avpdculture]

avpd culture is... oh i was going to do XYZ but now people are awake and i've lost the window I was allowed to exist. if I try to do the task now i'll be spoken to, seen, and god forbid JUDGED

~

[desperateclawing]

my avpd urge to never talk to anyone again vs. my hpd urge to talk to people all the time because i NEED attention...

[xxbl00dsh3dbunnyxx]

"Mental health advocates" when I tell them that I don't perceive a lot of people as actual sentient beings and as more "background characters" who don't have any deep thoughts or emotions are are simply there to take up space like NPC's

[avbpdtommy]

why is it so hard for me to keep liking people, I feel like unless I love someone or barely interact with them I have a slim threshold between liking/tolerating them and absolutely fuckng hating them, and currently there's more people in my life that I hate than that i like

I don't know what I could do to help this, cause I can't cut them out for any variety of reasons, but I already spend all day in my room barely speaking to anyone other than my mom

[avbpdtommy]

passive suicidal ideation sure is quite the thing

[hydrologically]

# Egodoric Self

( 🩷 ) :: :: a term for someone who needs validation of their persons, persona, or ego to be positively affirmed by surrounding peoples. Made with BPD/symptoms in mind but can be used by anyone

Endos dni, radqueer dni

[respirgender]

if flags for this already exists, consider ours to be (an) alt. no energy for ID. flag(s) done by aux/rook (it/rot).

AVBPD doomed attraction - anyone with both AVPD and BPD who feels as though their attraction (of any kind) is doomed due to ones AVPD and BPD.

[image ID: a rectangular flag with 6 horizontal stripes. the colours of the stripes, from top to bottom, are: almost-black dark magenta, very dark indigo, very dark muted purple, dark red-orange, dark orange, almost-black dark magenta. in the center of the flag is a muted salmon circle which has been split down the middle horizontally with the BPD symbol inside of the circle, showing the stripes behind. end image ID.]

[thedogthatcantbark]

vulnerablecanic

a label for an individual with quiet bpd where it resembles a frightened dog expecting to be left behind, hurt, rejected, yelled at, etc. there may be a strong urge to make oneself smaller, apologize excessively, hide distress or stay quiet. causing them to bite their own tail representing their emotional pain circling back onto themselves their hurt guilt or fear become internalized rather than directed at others. instead of barking or fighting their instinct is often to cower, retreat, or quietly whimper instead of lashing out

[avbpdtommy]

I genuinely can't tell if I am or if I'm overdramatizing my current feelings (because I can't remember previous ones), but I think I'm on the edge of another depressive episode

like I'm slowly starting to lose interest in things I've been enjoying, I'm losing my ability to tolerate people in general, I'm starting to get tired way easier even on days where I sleep upwards of 12 hours or more

I don't emotional feel "depressed" yet, but feeling anything strongly is getting rarer again and I'm starting to feel mainly just apathetic and occasionally annoyed most of the time

I think the worst part of this is if I am falling back into another depressive episode it's so gradual

[autopsyfreak]

people with BPD stop saying you have mania challenge.

you experience euphoria, not mania. you’re incredibly misinformed and it’s aggravating.

[cannagracie]

hey i noticed your vibe was off for .5 seconds, was it something i did?