This Is Supposed To Be Funny

I don’t know what I’m doing mostly, I just write funny stuff in the characters I find.

[avengers-as-idk]

Friendly Reminder

Clint Barton got powers too and they’re pretty sweet

He can do so much more than just archery

He got a collection of scarfs and berets

He played trombone in a ska band

He once got to second base on his tinder date

And his cat has got it’s own instagram

He kicks ass at Mario Kart

One year he played an extra in Paul Blart

He can open a pickle jar

When he bowls, he scores at least 70, after six beers

He got seventh place on his fantasy league

He once butt-dialed Jean-Claude Van Damme

When he goes to Chipotle he gets free guac

He flirts with the cashier and she says that he rocks

He owns water-resistant socks

[avengers-as-idk]

[Sitting at the beach]

Bucky: *putting on sunscreen*

Sam: *cough* lil bitch *cough*

Bucky: You think you’re tougher then the sun? The fucking sun?

[avengers-as-idk]

Bucky: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3 AM to look at the stars

Clint: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the sky, they will be removed indefinitely from my life

[avengers-as-idk]

Tony: You dirty bitch! Look what you’ve done to my peonies!

Clint: They’re MARIGOLDS!

Natasha: …Good god, I think he’s right, they are marigolds.

Tony: I may not know my flowers, but I know a BITCH when I see one!

[avengers-as-idk]

How Civil-War Went...

Tony: Sometimes it’s best to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and bring to your mind that you don’t look good in a prison uniform.

Steve: I look good in everything

Tony: Not a prison uniform!

[avengers-as-idk]

Phil: Isn’t it a little early for ice cream?

Natasha: It’s never too early for ice cream.

Clint: But we were out of ice cream. So this is mayonnaise and black olives.

[avengers-as-idk]

Clint: What’s the word for horny, but not in a sexual way? I mean, I’m horny for Christmas, but I don’t wanna fuck a Christmas tree. You feel?

Natasha: …do you mean ‘excited’?

[avengers-as-idk]

1930’s

Bucky: Heavy breathing turns me on.

Steve: I have asthma.

[avengers-as-idk]

Tony: Can you reach that for me?

Bucky: You need me in your life after all.

Tony: I could replace you with a step ladder.

[avengers-as-idk]

Steve: oh, you guys are pathetic! when i was your age, we didn’t even have cell phones

Tony: but you had things we don’t have!

Clint: yeah, like dinosaurs and Moses.

[avengers-as-idk]

Sam and Steve: [knock on Bucky’s door]

Bucky: Who is it?

Sam: It’s us, we just wanna talk

Bucky: How many of you are there?

Steve: Two

Bucky: Then talk to each other

[avengers-as-idk]

Tony: When I was small-

Rhodey: [snorts]

Rhodey: was

[avengers-as-idk]

Clint: So you remember the plan if I ever get shot, right?

Natasha: Of course.

Clint: Tell me.

Natasha: In the case of you ever being shot, as you fall to the ground, I am to sing MMMMM WHATCHA SAY no matter the circumstances.

Clint: Good.

[avengers-as-idk]

Steve: How can you eat when there’s a dead man lying there?

Clint: What, is it rude?

[avengers-as-idk]

Sam: I’m sorry for all the stuff I said.

Bucky: And for punching me in the face?

Sam: No, you definitely deserved that.

[avengers-as-idk]

Thor: We were all counting on you!

Loki: Well, that's their fault. I have carefully cultivated a persona that screams 'you're on your own'.

[avengers-as-idk]

Tony: You can’t lose an argument if you end it with ‘shut up, nerd’.

Bruce: Yes, you can.

Tony: Shut up, nerd.