professional simp

rain | she/they | fanfiction writer | minors dni

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

MASTERLIST

The Last of Us

Joel Miller

Kinktober Day 5 - You lose your virginity to Joel Miller (Smut, soft dom Joel, virginity kink, 2.7K words)

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator

Robert Small

Kinktober Day 1 - You masturbate- but not alone (Mutual masturbation, slight dubcon, 1.2K words)

Joseph Christiansen

Kinktober Day 4 - Joseph likes being called a certain name (Daddy kink, rough sex, anal, 0.9K words)

Encanto

Bruno Madrigal

Kinktober Day 3 - Bruno always did say his real gift was acting (Roleplay, consensual dubcon, PIV sex, 1.5K words)

Stardew Valley

Shane

Kinktober Day 2 - Shane always knows just what you need (Anal fingering, rimming, 1.2K)

Harvey

(Coming soon!!)

[momosweetpeach]

Hotdog Shenanigans

[ID: a comic of Sans and Papyrus from Undertale. Sans appears with a red nose, and Papyrus accusatorily asks: "Sans, why are you wearing that?"

Sans: "wearing what?"

Papyrus: "That red nose!"

Sans, pointing at his face: "oh this? it's not a nose."

He pinches it, creating a honk, and starts pulling it out of his nose cavity, with a slide whistle effect. Revealing its full length, he holds it up and explains: "its a hotdog."

Papyrus is speechless, with a shocked and horrified expression. End ID.]

[audieaudieaudie]

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

CRYING THIS IS SO CANON

[ambriel-angstwitch]

There’s only one bed in The Bunker Stanford and Fiddleford shared

Which could mean nothing

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

guys holy shit

[doberart]

*Spoilers*

I’m dying! One of Ford’s notes in the Journal said “Figure out what a ‘silver fox’ is and why everyone keeps calling me one.” XD So, I made these little doodles. Sorry if they’re a little hard to read/see. It’s 4am, I’ll try to sketch something more decent next time. Lol.

[pinetreeshack]

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

THEM THEM THEM THEM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[vira-with-no-v]

We’ve finally got married and it made me stupidly happy

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

LOSING MY MINDDD

[vira-with-no-v]

A bunch of my headcanons for Harvey:

Obsessed with dad jokes and puns

Has a slight southern British accent (perhaps studied in the UK)

Loves to wear silly graphic t-shirts

When he does aerobics, he listens to the 80s new wave hits

[icepopcider]

more harvey art for you all!!!!!! i love drawing him (also more stardew doodles too :D)

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

MY HUSBAND 🫶🫶🫶

[paintedhen]

can you post the it takes a beast to tame an italian image here please🥺🥺🥺

omg i didnt realize i hadn’t.. here u go <3

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

CACKLING

[thewitchofart]

[kirrbee]

*hours of my life wasted on putting sans in a hat (this really didnt have to take this long, but i think my dedication is comedic)

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

THE HAT

[cielle-b]

ya'll didn't see this coming, did you? (neither did I)

I haven't drawn in over a week, my hands ouchie :(( (also, there'll be more gerrymichael fanart don't worry)

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

here is a list of everything sans (somewhat) canonically does for papyrus that I can think of off the top of my head since people apparently think he doesn't care about him?? (i know i'm late to the discussion but idc i'm obsessed with them):

-works like four jobs across the underground so he can afford to keep them afloat and IS LITERALLY PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD??? (i will never know why papyrus isn't mad about that)

-pays rent without papyrus's help, and keep in mind they live in the nicest house in snowdin (also doesn't tell papyrus that he's working his ass off to pay rent, probably doesn't want to make him worry)

-reads car magazines because papyrus likes cars (and probably bought the car papyrus drives in the true pacifist credits)

-literally just talks about how awesome he is every other second

-HE READS HIM BEDTIME STORIES. DUDE.

-also pretends to be santa and gives him presents

-deeply grieves papyrus's death if you kill him and tells you to go to hell (i do not fucking care if you think he "doesn't care" because he does. he copes with humor, and it's kinda obvious)

-ACTUALLY LOVES HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF AND WOULD QUITE LITERALLY DO ANYTHING FOR HIM

bonus:

-fun fact, that pie papyrus said sans made?? probably because of toriel, considering her whole thing with pie. i'll bet money she gave him a recipe and he ACTUALLY MADE IT which is so cute. bet he has some frilly pink apron or some dorky shit

[ash2dusty]

hello Harvey sdv enjoyers

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

HELLO SAILOR

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

someone help i am having Complicated Emotions

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

try not to cry challenge difficulty impossible *puts on abstract (psychopomp) by hozier*