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This is my secret diary of things I am going through and random things I want to post but too scared to share with the people around me *No Judging*

[avil759]

I keep forgetting that I have this account to post on as well. Okay so update: have gastritis, changed room theme from flowers to white and grey (in the process), going out more with people I love, taking college seriously, going to soon buy my own car, planning on a trip later on in the year.. yup that’s the post

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Spring break is over. Didn’t do anything productive. Getting closer to my goal of buying my car. I have decided to change to my room and go with grey and white scheme colors 😄

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I built a trampoline 75% by myself in two days. Bought some SPF for my skin. Rearranged my room. Celebrated two birthdays in one weekend. I guess you could say I got $h!t done 😊✅

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Re did my nails today. I feel brand new with a fresh start every time I do them. It is like a different personality every time. I went from link to red. I take it as getting stronger emotionally.

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College/ life update: college grades are better than high schools so that is definitely an upgrade for me. Life is better than the past few years. I wish I could have somebody tell me how to keep my hair pin straight during hot and humid days especially for people that have curly hair.. anybody have tips? Please share!!

[avil759]

I did something today 😊🥰

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A coworker told me today that I have beautiful hands.. umm excuse miss, you have nice long and thin fingers. I on the other hand have small, short, and fat fingers. So no.. my hands are not “beautiful”... hers compared to mine

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I have come to realize that I have imposter syndrome. It’s tough to hear that because of a non-happy childhood, I am the way I feel now.

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Currently my view. But my mind is somewhere else. I am tired of taking responsibility of my siblings. I am tired of having to stand up for everyone. I am tired of not taking care of myself first. Depression sucks. It’s the little things that trigger me that make it big. I want to be able to hug people, tell people I love them in their face; not just through text message. I want so many things but it’s so hard for me to accomplish. Crying is definitely my mood for tonight.

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Ice on the trees look beautiful. Reminds me of Christmas lights.

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College mood in the process 🤓

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I never thought that moving into a new home was going to be chaotic...things have slowly started to diminish. My world is starting to become dark with no souls but myself in the mirror. I look into my eyes and see nothing but a controlling, low self esteem, yet capable person. There are things I want to change in me but my surroundings trigger certain things to the point where I can’t control myself anymore. I am also craving macaroni and cheese.

[avil759]

Figured I’d try this out. Follow me. Would like to meet new people :)