A Wealth of Stardust

The abbreviated literary tendency of Deepa Jacob.

[awealthofstardust]

Two Relationships

A two-year romance with a long distance lover. A ten-year affair with my long hair.

The former was over like it never really had a chance. The latter, its consequent victim.

The first cut slammed my eyes shut, but soon it was easy to watch the layers fall. After having so many pieces of me broken off without my consent, it felt good to cut away something that was only mine to sever.

In time, I’ll stop reaching for the phantom curls that still hug me like lovers gone wrong. Sooner or later, dead ends and heartaches all fall away.

[awealthofstardust]

23:56

I missed you today. So much, I clutched for air. The memory of that face I used to kiss drew rivers from my eyes.

It’s the smallest things...that discoloured spoon,the handwritten labels on the jars, the christmas tapestry that now stays up all year round, every oversized nightshirt I own. They all bring you back.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you enough how much I loved you. How much I love you. I’m sorry I waited till the moments grew cold.

I’m sorry.

But you know, he’s still here. He is warm and here. 

I’ll tell him instead.

[awealthofstardust]

We sang. We danced. You stole things.

Your secrets unraveled today. Old and stale, they still hurt me.

I knew I had put my faith in the wrong heart, my hopes in dirty hands.

It’s time I let go of that last piece of you I carried with me

Because you and I, we will love differently.

[awealthofstardust]

Never Quite Discussed

I was drowning in it.

In the beautiful melancholy of it all.

Falling endlessly into that limbo of black roses and brandied tongues.

My god, we were good at it.  

Hush now, my love.

Close the door.

Uncomplicate my heart.

The truth is, only one of us wanted something more.

[awealthofstardust]

A Woman Scorned

He didn’t love me. I couldn’t get him to love me. Or the him after him, Or the him after them. 

Now I make the rest insensible in their lust, the unsuspecting nice guys. Strung up like marionettes  - all invisible strings and no grace. 

I ruin them for other women.

[awealthofstardust]

What If You Fly

The edge isn’t just in sight, it’s starting to look familiar.

“Just jump,” they said. “Sometimes you fly.”

In faith comes the leap.

One,

Two,

…

[awealthofstardust]

The Sharing

I go on as if nothing changed.

I write the words, sing the songs, take the pictures.

I’m full of messages I’ll never send but some part of me wants to believe they’ll reach you anyway.

Perhaps one day we’ll meet again and they’ll feel like memories instead of news.

[awealthofstardust]

The Lesson

They weren't ready for her when she first showed up wide-eyed and breathless with her heart spilling from her breast. Too eager for the promise of a way out of the wind.

Defeated, she inhaled deeply and tucked the treacherous, bleeding flesh back inside, finally learning to contain it.

[awealthofstardust]

Friday

I’m scared. But you look so nice and you kissed me right on the nose. 

I think I love you. You can call me Friday.

[awealthofstardust]

To Distraction

I watched him consuming the starlight while casually invading my personal space.

Oh how it sparkled in his skin, distracting me from the intrusion.

[awealthofstardust]

Sempiternum

Soft hands. Tirelessly patting until sleep fell heavy on little girl eyes. Gently wiping little girl tears. Clasping a bead everyday with little girl’s name on soft lips.

Soft hands. Teaching little girl strength and pure love.

Ammamma, your little girl will miss your hands and everything attached to them. 

[awealthofstardust]

Into the Dark

There’s so much midnight about you, slopping from your murky corners, throwing shadows into your eyes; stealing uneasy around my sleep. I know you often leave your smile on the door, wearing instead a ‘Don’t Disturb’. But hey, I like it here. And you will always be my favourite dream.

[awealthofstardust]

Till Next We Meet

I’ll never know why The loveliest places in the world make me want to cry.  Let the whitecaps ebb, let the stars align,  And the wind’s untroubled call bring me back again To share the same midnight sky with you.  To play once more with fairy dust in the water.

[awealthofstardust]

Necessities Not Quite So Bare

You’ll need sunsets off foreign shores and tea in funny cups. You’ll need to find familiarity in strange lands and surprises in little, familiar things. Brief friendships that, in those moments, go deeper than the ocean. But more than anything else, you’ll need to find peace in your own company.

[awealthofstardust]

I Whispered a Secret

I whispered a secret into the breeze. The words tumbled, just shy of eager ears. Dancing on sea foam, weeping into fine white sand, Whistling by lilting swaths of green.

Tumbling, tumbling to your mountain top.

I whispered my secrets into the breeze. I only hope you won’t misunderstand me.

[awealthofstardust]

The Hugging of Souls

Sing with me the old songs. So little has changed; we’re still a hive mind of primal dances.

Come away with me; sate this ache for wanderlust and wine.

Lie here with me; we shall be radiant under the starlight.

Slip away. There’s no need to finish what we started.

[awealthofstardust]

When Soft Lights Fall

He stood with his back to her. She watched a thousand specks of purple light dance upon the curve of his shoulder before fading with the shrinking sun and wondered at how fanciful she had become.

It wasn’t until a stark, grey morning that she realised she was in love.