He panted heavily, feeling his breath getting more ragged behind his gaz mask. He sighed before slowly letting go of his fur, noting the fact his hands began shaking slightly once he took a look down. He noticed Dream flinching and quickly raised his hands in a reassuring matter, sweating.
Before he could try any further he heard XD speaking again, annoyance already building up. He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried his hardest not to tear up. He felt so incredibly tired after everything that happen. He braced himself.
"You know what? Fine- fine! Go ahead! Make me hear it all."
He waited before he felt the flick, flinching as his face scrunched up for a second. He raised his hand to rub his forehead as he started to listen, blinking with furrowed eyebrows.
His chest tightened once he started hearing the voices in Dream's head, his own and Quackity's. The way the voices spoke sounded indentical in every way, from the tone to the manner. He felt sick. He watched helplessly as Dream stiffened and flinched with such familiar terror in his eyes.
It scared Sam to hear himself say these things, especially because he knows full well hes the type to say them. It made him think too much about every horrible thing that came out of his mouth ever since he started working in this hell of a place. It really puts it all in perspective once youre the one who hears those words. Once youre on the other end of the wall.
His fists clentched as he kept listening, kept watching Dream react to the same things he was hearing. He felt numb, as if he was watching himself through a different perspective. He barely registered himself begining to speak, near mumbling. He tried to speak out to Dream, call out for him, even moved foward slightly, but he couldnt hear himself or see himself apart from the voice Dream was hearing. It took XD begining to speak again for him to snap back to himself.
His attention darted to the invisible presence, releasing a breath he didnt know he was holding. He felt sweaty, and his mask was fogging up a lot. He tried to adjust it, coughing out. The information loaded in his brain, his guilt heightening. He didnt know what to reply for a bit.
"..I- of course it doesnt bring.. good effects, but- it isnt my fault that every person who visits ends up in a bad state.. I needed to fix it somehow.."
He convinced himself, despite the obvious guilt in his expression. Hes felt a lot of guilt today.
"He wont just.. forget me. Im one of the only two people in this place who keep him company. If he does forget things, he'll surely remember me."
The idea didnt seem to make him feel bad, even the opposite. Dream forgetting everything but him didnt seem that bad of a scenario, even borderline useful if he thought about it- but that was just his thoughts. And his thoughts often rounded back on ways to make Dream less dangerous, which definitly wasnt the must useful right now.
"Whatever he forgets, ill remind him- im not a liar. If its really that important, then ill just tell him to write it down. All that matters is that he remembers the book. And how would he forget it, if its the sole reason hes being.. pursued, in the first place?"
That first part was already a lie in itself, since Sam does lie, especially to Dream. If hes feeling to tired to give him food, he'll often just tell him he had some the day before. Despite this, his mind was still firm.
"Im.. the Warden. And im doing what I think is best for the server as a warden, even if it seems bad."
He replied, his voice stern as he spoke to XD. His composure faltered at the mention of Ponk. Of course he had to go there.
"Me and Ponk's.. situation, isnt in any of your buisness. They arent to be included in this. Ive assured that Dream will never get sick, and ill keep doing it like that. Even if he does, ill deal with it as the warden. You wont succeed in trying to use his health against me, XD."
He felt more confident now as he said this, despite it only being partially true. Dream still had a possibility of getting sick, though he was convinced he could fix it. He kept listening to XD, stubborn.
"There's no denying in the fact ive caused damage to Dream.. but it was for reasons. He had no reason for all the things he did- Hes always done it due to being a bad person! Inculding Tommy, which is what differentiates them-"
Before he could finish, he heard a thud. He went quiet as he looked foward, seeing the prisoner infront of him drop limp. His heart sank, his breath leaving him.
He stood there for a second, processing the scene infront of him before he rushed down on his knees, his trembling hands hovering above Dream's lifeless body. He picked him up gently and put the side of his head against his chest, trying to spot any heartbeat, any sign of life. Nothing.
Panic rose in his chest, shattering his composure. His mind screamed at him. His own heart started to beat out of his chest as his ear ringed. He could barely see anything infront of him, feel anything- smoke poured out of his mask like never before as he could barely breathe. If he took off his mask he would definitly explode. He had to bite his lip to hold himself back from crying. Or screaming.
He repeated over and over, his hand coming up to tug at his fur as he tried to reach for his communicator, barely able to take it out without dropping it from his trembling hand. He opened Punz's contact and messaged him, his frantic fingers not being able to write properly on the screen as he was hyperventilating at this point. He couldnt hold himself back from tearing up.
[Awesamdude messaged Punz]: Punz
[Awesamdude messaged Punz]: Nnd you. Quick.
[Awesamdude messaged Punz]: S abou Dream.
[Awesamdude messaged Punz] : Please