white women seeking black men

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White Women And Black Men Dating - Become A Good Listener

Sometimes white women looking for black men are so caught up with their excitement about interracial dating, that they forget basic dating rules. The same goes the other way around of course. Their first time on an interracial date people tend to be either too shy or way to talkative, trying to tell the other person all about their cultural background and exotic genes. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is true that being exotic might have something to do with your charm, but do not self-indulge too much! Being a good listener is much more important on a first date.

Allow enough time Some people can start a discussion in seconds. Others need more time and they might need more time to reflect on their answers as well. If you date black men and they are quiet, it might be the easy thing to do to just take over the discussion. Soon enough, it will be only you talking and the date will turn into a monologue. Especially if your date is naturally shy, they will quickly get comfortable in a situation like that. But how are you going to get to know them, then?Allow enough time

Ask meaningful questions

If you met your date online, you probably already know the basics about their life, like their family status, profession and where they come from. On your first date try and ask meaningful questions that show you are really interested in the person sitting next to you. You can ask about their ambitions, childhood memories, their favorite way to spend their free time, what they love and hate about their job, what is their favorite holiday destination and why. Do not just settle for a one-word response, but ask them to elaborate. And listen carefully, of course!

Concentrate

The difference between hearing and listening is that when you listen to someone, you can recall what they told you. How many times have you been on a date and because you were bored or too excited, you were not really focused on what your date said? Really focusing on the answers of your date will help you a lot in the following dates. Think of how disappointed you would be if you mentioned your mother's or brother's name to someone and they kept asking “Who is that?”. If you really see a potential in this first date, then you need to put the effort to really get to know them through the little things.

Do not interrupt

This is basic good manners, but we fill the need to stress its importance even more, when it comes to dating. Interrupting will discourage any shy person from talking to you and it can irritate everyone else. No matter how bored you are, keep it to yourself. Maybe if you leave the person talking a bit more time, the story will become more exciting. Or not. But you will never know if you interrupt them!

Don't be all “I know what you mean. I have been there!”

Keep in mind that everyone experiences life through their own perspective. If your date has been robed and you have been robed too, it was probably a very different experience. And if someone decides to share something personal with you, you need to listen to them and, if you feel like it, support them. Making it about you only shows that you are selfish. This is a very common misunderstanding, as many people feel that the “I know what you mean” line brings people closer. Maybe, but only after your date has finished their story and their feelings about it.

Becoming a good listener takes some practice, but it is very rewarding, not only when it comes to dating, but also in a work and familycontext. Good luck!

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Beautiful White Women Dating Black Men

Interracial relationships have become common nowadays. There are several beautiful white women dating black men and vice versa. Here are some of the most popular black-white couples of today’s generation.

Olivier Martinez and Halle Berry

These two began dating in 2010 when they met during the filming of Dark Tide in South Africa. Two years later, Oliver Martinez and Halle Berry revealed to the public that they are engaged. It was in July 13, 2012 when they finally tied the knot. Only a year after that, they had their first born child, Maceo.

There are many rumors about these two splitting up but Halle confirmed that they have a happy marriage.

Cuba Gooding Jr. and Sara Kapfer

Cuba and Sara’s story is one of your typical high school romances. They lived together for a good 7-year period before finally getting married in March, 1994.

However, like many Hollywood marriages, their romantic story had to come to an end when Sara filed for a divorce.

Adam Housley and Tamera Mowry

Adam and Tamera probably had the longest dating period - 6 years! Wow, some Hollywood marriages don’t even see through the first year! After dating for that long had they just decided to exchange vows.

Their relationship quite stood the test of time and interracial issues, given Adam’s Fox News career. However, Adam, out of his love for Tamera, defended his wife and their relationship from all the racism attacks.

This is why many interracial couples look up to these two who serve an inspiration to them.

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were introduced when the actress was in an island located off the coast of Antigua shooting her Bye Bye music video. They tied the knot at Bahamas in April, 2008. Yup, just like everyone else’s fantasy wed! Shortly after their wedding, Mariah gave birth to their twins named Monroe and Moraccan.

However, their marriage didn’t withstand that long. In August, 2014, Nick said that they have split a few months back.

Mr. and Mrs. Justin Chambers

Justin and Keisha probably have one of the longest relationships in the industry - they have been married for more than 20 years already! Knowing Hollywood, 5 is already generous; 8 is quite long; 15 is great… and 20… 20 is just perfect!

They got married in 1993 and since then they have built their family of 5 amazing kids: Isabella, who was born in 1994, twins Maya and Kaila, who were born in 1997, Eva, who was born in 1999, and Jackson, who was born in 2002.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

Of course, we will never forget to add on the list the most talked about couple of the era.

Kanye and Kim have been dating since April, 2012. It was revealed to the public when they were caught leaving Scott Disick’s restaurant together - holding hands! ‘Kimye’, as what the pop culture has labelled this tandem, got married in May, 2014. Their child, North West, is now 2 years of age.

According to Kanye, being Kim’s significant partner has transformed his life in many ways.

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Why Do White Women Like Black Men?

Why do white women like black men? Is it a power play? Is it an act of going against the norm? Read on and find out the most possible reasons! And if a white guy is reading this, take down notes!

They Feel That Black Men Are Equally Oppressed

           Recent trends have driven white men to tone down their mannerisms that in the past were seen as acts of gentlemen, due to the risk of being ostracized. This resulted to the white male’s stoppage of deeds that would have been chivalrous. Before, women appreciated it when men opened doors for them, helped them carry their bags, and paid the bill for their dates. Recently, men have not been guaranteed appreciation for these deeds.

However, black men seem to be less targeted by this phenomenon. Why? Because white females have always felt oppressed by white men. They have been insecure to certain aspects of white men, such as having better jobs, being physically superior to their female counterparts, and general penis envy. On the other hand, white females see black males as sort of equals, since black men had experienced slavery under white men in the past, and racial discrimination is still live today. White women probably feel intimidated due to the poise of black men (discussed later), but some women probably prefer being with black men because they are slightly intimidated by, instead of a white man that they feel they are oppressed by.

Black Males are More Masculine Compared to Neutered White Males

           As said earlier, misdirected feminists have recently subjected white males to the “anti-oppression” movement, scolding white males for every little thing they feel insecure of. With white males having to suppress their chivalry, black gentlemen (I repeat, GENTLEMEN) start to shine like an ebony idol in an asbestos mine. As such, ladies that still appreciate chivalry start to notice black gentlemen more. Now, white men have the feminist movement to thank for the white ladies they want going for black men.

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Black men-White Women: Acknowledging the Differences

When it comes to interracial dating, we like to say that we are all just people and race does not matter. And this is completely true. But what we sometimes fail to understand, is the fact that even though we are all equal, despite of gender or race, we are not all the same. In this article we will look at how things that we tend to say to our partner out of good intentions can have many different interpretations and often lead to huge misunderstandings.

Acknowledging the existence of racism

When women decide to date black men, they often feel that it is a good idea to make it clear that they “do not see color”. The same goes for white men who date black women, of course. Even though this statement is done with the best of intentions, it is problematic on many levels. By saying that you do not see color, it is as if you are trying to persuade the other person that you have no problem with their race. Which means that you understand why other people might have issues with their color. Not a good start. Additionally, by saying to a black person that to you color does not matter, it is as if you are not acknowledging that for them color can actually cause quite a few issues in their lives. Their skin color is what makes them subject to racism. It is what caused their ancestors to die while working as slaves. It is what led many black people to death, in an effort to gain equal human rights.

Unfortunately, racism is not a thing of the past. Racist attacks happen every day in the streets of “civilized” cities around the world. And the more the financial crises deepens, the more people that belong to racial minorities end up being chased. Not only people from African but also people from India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Native Americans face racism every day in the Western World, be in The US or Europe. This is why it is important to acknowledge that you have a difference form your partner, when it comes to skin color and to accept that, if you are white, you most likely enjoy some privileges that they do not. Having you by their side, as an anti-racism ally is what they need to feel comfortable and accepted.

Acknowledging the difference of spirituality

White women andblack men dating often have other differences as well. Religion is one of them. There is a common misconception that many black men are deeply religious. This however, is not always the case. Especially in cities where black people are the minority, the church serves also as a community center, where people gather to meet each and often share a meal. The same can be true for white women, of course. What people find hard to understand some times is that religion should not separate people. Some people feel more comfortably with certain dogmas, others feel that they do not need religion in their lives and others are more vaguely spiritual. Accept these differences and make enough space in your lives for each one of you to fulfill their spiritual duties. Religion is often part of one's cultural background and it can play a very important role, especially when celebrating certain holidays or events. You might be an atheist but for your partner Easter might be a very meaningful holiday. Acknowledge the difference and either choose to leave them celebrate with their family or respectfully become part of the celebration. Remember: what is not important for you might be the most important thing for your loved one.

Acknowledging the different role of women

Much like racism, sexism is also all around us today. The issue here is that what a western woman might find sexist, might be a deeply rooted tradition for another culture. Women have all sorts of different roles around the globe and when you find your self in an interracial relationship, you might be surprised. Even if your partner was raised in the same country as you and shares your beliefs about women independence, his elders might feel differently. If his mother was brought up to serve the men of the house and that was her one and only duty, she might find it disrespectful that you pursue a career of your own outside the house. It is good to know it beforehand, when such issues might arise. Have a long talk with your interracial partner. Ask them how they feel about your future plans when it comes to career, children, dividing the chores. If you two are on the same page, then the only thing that you need to do is respect his family traditions when you are a guest at his home and live your life the way you want in your house. If his family sees that you respect them and that your partner is happy and supports your life choice, they are more likely to open up and accept your choices in the long run as well.

Of course there might be many other differences that you need to acknowledge and accept. But the way to deal with them is always the same: show respect for the other person's culture and struggles. Do not be quick to judge and be open to listen. Pretending that there are no differences will only cause friction in your relationship, as smaller and bigger challenges arise. Communication is the key. Happy talking!

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White Women Who Love Black Men

People wonder what exactly is it that attracts certain white women to have a preference for black men. Is it something about their appearance? Black men have stronger features and better musculature than white men. How about sexual performance? Black men are infamous for their rumored larger packages than any other race. Read on to find out about some famous white women who love black men! Kim Kardashian Well, you know her from her sex video with that black guy no one knew about before the leakage of THE sex video, which made the entire Kardashian family famous. Well, almost no one knew about them before their sex video. Kim Kardashian has been with many of the black male populace, especially the rich and famous. Examples are Reggie Bush, Nick Cannon, Ray J, Damon Thomas, and her current husband Kanye West. Why? In a recent interview talking about her preferences, Kim Kardashian mentioned THE saying (you know which one), basically saying that her preference is based on her liking the black men’s performance in the bedroom. However, this was not the exclusive reason. Kim’s current husband, Kanye West, has been seen as a good father, and a gentleman to her as well. So, she is attracted to black men, but she is staying with her husband not just because of her personal preferences, but also because he is a gentleman to his family. Khloe Kardashian Another member of the Kardashian family made famous by her sister’s sex tape, Khloe Kardashian has been married to Lamar Odom for five years, until 2014. Afterwards, she has entered a relationship with James Harden. What do these two men have in common, besides being black? Well, they are both famous players of the NBA. The same as her more famous sister, Khloe’s preference is more of a mixture of appearance and sexual performance and less on stability. She has been in relationships with several tall, rich, black men. However, she has yet to settle down.

Carmen Electra

Carmen Electra has been famous ever since Baywatch came out. And if you don’t already know why, just look it up on google image search and you will instantly understand. She said on an interview in the Howard Stern show that she had her first time with a black guy, and has only been with black guys ever since. The most popular black men she has been with were Dennis Rodman, and Prince a few years ago. Carmen Electra’s testimony was the ultimate example of going black and never going back as her preference towards black men are more of a sexual one. She is yet to have a long-term relationship, and is gravitating more towards being single. Conclusion These white female celebrities’ preferences are a mixture of both appearance and sexual performance. Even if they mention attraction to the black man’s features, they mainly are attracted to them because they know what the black man is capable of in bed. As such, it is likely that, these women went black and never went back.

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Things to Avoid in White Women-Black Men Relationships

Every choice you make comes with a certain price. If you plan on entering an interracial relationship, you will have to do so at a cost. Being in love with a person belonging to a different race could be challenging to a significant extent. For instance, there could be differences in cultural sensibilities, religious ideals and social norms that you may not be prepared to deal with. If a situation involving such differences ever presents itself, you will need to handle it with great care and pragmatism to say the least. Every couple has to encounter its fair share of arguments, but people in white women-black men relationships tend to have it slightly more difficult. Discussions on racial differences could steer off to an intractable path and eventually go out of hand. To prevent that from happening, consider the following list of things you must avoid, if you get into an argument in an interracial relationship. Making assumptions

Making unsubstantiated assumptions could put your relationship on a rocky trajectory. If you enter a relationship with preconceived notions of what individuals with a particular racial identity are like and stick to those throughout the course of the relationship, you will eventually grow sick of your partner. It is important to enter a relationship with an open mind and be able to absorb whatever comes your way. Leave all biases behind and go for a fresh start. Try to understand your partner and your relationship from a fresh perspective instead of building it upon ill-conceived conceptions that you have carried from your past experiences. You may enter an interracial relationship with a certain set of ideas that could get altered with time as the understanding between you and your partner reaches a deeper level. Drawing comparisons Every individual is unique and has a distinct set of qualities that make them who they are. If you are entering an interracial relationship, you must be accepting of the other individual and their racial and ethnic identity to be able to make the relationship meaningful and satisfying. Failure to do so could result in discomfort and frustration for both parties. It is important that you accept your partner for who they are instead of drawing unfair comparisons between them and other individuals who belong to the same racial background as you. Such comparisons will only hurt your partner and weaken your bond. Racial remarks Getting into an argument is no excuse for hurling racial offenses at your partner in white women-black men relationships. Derogatory racial statements could really damage your credibility and standing in a relationship and must be refrained from at all costs. Deal with arguments like mature adults in order to set things right, instead of resorting to careless words that you may regret uttering in the future. Involving other people It is extremely important to deal with white women-black men relationship problems on your own, regardless of whether you are in an interracial relationship or not. Dragging your family members and friends to relationship problems is not a very good idea as it could go badly with your partner.

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White Women and Black Men Relation : Love Each Other’s Ideas

There is a difference between loving each other and loving each other’s ideas. All of us know that a good idea can change someone’s life. In any kind of interracial relationship, like the white women and black men relationship, it is needed to love each other’s thoughts. This will create respect inside each other and the relationship will be sweeter than ever. Appreciating each other’s ideas can be a good way to build understanding in a family or a relation. If any interracial couple decides to form a family in future, it is required to have the habit of giving credits to each other.

Avoid Different Ball Games

Conflict sometimes runs between family members. There are many ways of handling situations like that. This is not any pool game, where everyone will have to prove ability by playing different tricks with balls. So, avoid any kind of competition inside your family. If you are a woman, then you should let your man have some breathing space. You can have a very good day with your colleagues or friends, but at night, you will have to sleep with your man. A woman has her needs. Therefore, make sure you do not mess things up.

Excuse the Excuses

Family members lie to each other too often to hide something. This could be good or sometimes really bad. So, if he is giving you any excuse for canceling one of your dinner or lunch events, do not become furious. At first, try to understand what is the reason behind it. He can have better ideas of making this up for you. You will have to wait for it. Do not be impatient.

His Friends Are Filthy

True. This can happen. Your black man may not have good friends. They can stare at your boobs, butts in different ways. You will have to act like you do not care. If you are too much bothered about it, then you can talk to your man later. Make him understand the situation, your liking and disliking. He is a grown up adult. He will understand it. Share each other’s ideas on how to get rid of this situation. In this way, both of you will have more respects towards each other.

Jealous of Other Couples? No Way!

All of us have certain limitations. We cannot play by the rules all the time. An interracial relationship is something different according to our society. So, they may mock you by reminding of other successful same-race couples. Do not be jealous of it. You should only be jealous when some other women talk to your man in a different way. Expressing yourself to your partner is the best way to get rid of any uncertainty. Therefore, try it.

Do Not Be Afraid of Future

Never think too much of the future of your relationship. You are in a relationship because you have a dream of forming your own family. So, you should make plans about your children, not your husband’s future. Breaking up should not come into mind. Love the way you are and the way your husband treats you. Whatever happens inside your family, keep it inside, and share each other’s feelings.

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White Women Who Love Black Men

White Women Black Men Dating is a website created specifically for white women looking for black men - to date, make friends and form relationships.

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White Women Like Black Men

For more, click here to view our site: Whitewomenblackmendating.com

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Black Men and White Women

BRINGING TOGETHER WHITE WOMEN AND BLACK MEN

Niche dating sites cater for a specific audience and white women black men dating is a specialist website so you know that when browsing profiles you know that all the white women on the site are looking for black men, and you can get instant access to them. In the same way if you are a white girl and you love black men then you can be sure that all our male members are black guys only looking for white girls.

For more, click here to view our site: Whitewomenblackmendating.com

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Aphrodisiac Recipes for black men, white women

Do you love cooking? Even if you don't, it's worth making an effort to prepare a nice dinner for your date. When you date black men, you can be sure that they will appreciate a tasty meal prepared with care. And if you date white women, they will surely be impressed by a man who can cook a thing or two. However, preparing a dinner for your date is not the same as preparing a family dinner! Of course, your mother's recipe for roasted pork is wonderful, but you need something more elegant and “spicy” for this occasion. That's why we have composed a menu of aphrodisiac recipes, that will help you set the mood of the evening.

  Asparagus omelet

Asparagus is aphrodisiac for both sexes. It is said to increase the production of histamine, that helps men and women climax. It is also rich in vitamins A, C and B6, among others and a great source of potassium. It has been considered an aphrodisiac even before scientist discovered all those nutrients, because of its phallic shape. It is very easy t o make an asparagus omelet. First, you need to snap off the bottom part of the asparagus, that is hard. Then you can dip the asparagus in hot water for 3-4 minutes. Until they are ready, beat 4-6 eggs and add some salt and cayenne pepper. In a pan put a bit of olive oil or butter, the asparagus the one next to the other and pour the eggs on top. In 5 minutes you will have a great omelet. Serve hot with fresh chives as a starter.

  Avocado salad

The Aztecs called this tree “testicle tree”, so the link with sexuality and fertility comes as no surprise. Avocados are excellent immune system boosters and they contain high amounts of folic acid, potassium and vitamin B6. You can use them to make guacamole by blending one avocado with a small onion, a fresh chilli pepper and some lime juice. Or, you can make a green salad with fresh lettuce, cherry tomatoes, boiled chicken cut in cubes and one or two avocados, cut in cubs as well. A sauce made of mustard, lemon juice and olive oil will keep the avocado from turning brown and it will add even more taste.

  Spaghetti with pesto sauce

Pesto is made from basil and basil is considered a strong aphrodisiac, not only due to the nutrients that it contains, but also thanks to its invigorating smell. To make a pesto sauce all you need is two cups full of fresh basil leaves, ½ cup pie nuts, some olive oil and two table spoons parmesan cheese. Blend and your sauce is ready! You can add it to spaghetti and grind some lemon rind or top, for some extra aroma. Or you can add it on gnocchi and chop some cherry tomatoes on top.

  Chocolate-dipped drunk figs

This delicious desert is about as aphrodisiac as it gets! Chocolate, wine and figs all have aphrodisiac and feel-good properties. All you have to do in marinate the figs in red wine for a couple of hours or overnight, if you are using dried figs. Then you need to melt the dark or milk chocolate in the microwave or using a double boiler. Dip the figs in the melted chocolate and  let them cool off on some parchment paper.

  Black men and white women alike are highly likely to fall in love with you after this menu! Try it out!

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Black men, white women: Dating more than one person

What is your definition of dating? Many people tend to confuse dating with being in a relationship and this can lead to a number of awkward situations. So let's make the difference clear from the start. When you date white women or black men, it means that you are not committed to a relationship, but are spending time -on dates- with any number of people that you find pleasant at the moment. On the other hand, when you are in a relationship, it usually means that you make the choice to be loyal to one specific person and therefore you do are expected to stop dating/ flirting with others. Unless, of course, you are in an open relationship, which is a whole different story.

  Often people tend to rush into a relationship, when they meet someone they like, out of fear of loosing them or just out of plain enthusiasm. However, if you are new to interracial dating and you just started meeting people from other races on line or in real life, you might want to keep your options open. If it is the first time in your life that you date black men, it is easy to get excited with the first guy who flirts with you and get carried away and ignore any inappropriate behavior or the fact that you are just not really meant for each other.

  Try to date more than one people for a while, in order to figure out what part of your excitement is due to the novelty of dating a person from another race and what part is due to you being genuinely attracted to a person. Even though many white women looking for black men will say that they do not see color, in an attempt to show that they are not racist, that is not exactly honest. We all see color and in fact a different skin tone than our own can be very attractive. Much like the color of one's eyes might be more attractive for some people than others. However, when there is a real connection with the other person, the color of their eyes or their skin becomes insignificant. Similarly, you might be attracted to blue-eyed women, but if the blue-eyed woman you date is a total bore, her eye color won't be enough to make your relationship last. 

  This is why dating two or even more people during the same period of time is important. Keep in mind that we do not suggest fooling around with these people! You need to be honest with them from the start and make it clear that -for the moment- you are seeing others as well. You will be surprised how much people will appreciate your honesty and you will be even more surprised to realize that some of them are dating others too. This is not the time to be possessive. It is the time to enjoy the company of another person, observe how you feel around them and in the long run decide if you could be in a relationship with them or not. Take dating as it is: a romantic, yet non-exclusive, way to meet new people and bond with some of them in the long run. Good luck!

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Overcoming difficulties: the added challenges of interracial dating

Love is love and race, color or culture should have nothing to do with it. Unfortunately that is not how things are, as any woman who decided to date black men (or man who decided to date white women) can assure you. Interracial relationships can be full of pleasant surprises and excitement, but they do come with some added challenges. Often, these challenges have to do with social pressure. But other times they come from within the couple. Accepting that not all days will be perfect, when it comes to interracial dating, can help you prepare yourself and discuss with your date or partner how you can overcome possible obstacles.

  Challenge: Your family does not approve interracial dating in general.

  Solution: Try to talk with your family and find out why they object you going out with people from outside your race. Are they influenced by the negative stereotypes? Are they afraid that you will forget your own cultural background? Are they just plain racist? (I am sorry, but these people are also out there). Based on what it is that bothers them, try to comfort them and explain to them why their fears are not based on rational reasoning. Sometimes people are just scared of the unknown while others they are just stuck with their opinion and won't change it. If your family belongs to the second category, you need to realize that this is your life and in order to live it the way you want, you might disappoint some people. And that is OK.

  Challenge: Your family does not like the specific person that you are dating.

  Solution: If you believe that this is just because of his/her race, confront your parents about it. Do not be aggressive, but illustrate how your date is different from the negative stereotypes. You can even try and describe your partner to your parent, without mentioning his/her skin color. It could be something like this: “He works at.... He loves his parents, has a younger sister and likes sports. He grew up in.... and he studied in...He treats me in a great way, loves me and makes me feel secure”. All parents love to hear that their child is in such a relationship. You can then mention his cultural background and honestly reply to any questions regarding it. If your parents have concerns unrelated to race, do hear their comments and reflect on them.

  Challenge: You are afraid on how your friends/colleagues will react.

Solution: If your friends are judgmental of your interracial partner, then maybe you should consider finding more open-minded friends instead. On the other hand, they might be worried just because of all the challenges that you will have to face, in which case you need to show them that you have thought this through and are willing to work on your relationship. When it comes to colleagues, first of all, they do not need to know about your private life. Secondly, if you get verbally harassed for your decision to date black men/white women, you can ask your boss to step in and explain the no discrimination policy of the company.

 Challenge: Your partner is worried about how their family will accept you

Solution: When white women and black men start a relationship, both parties feel the social pressure. Even if your family is open and accepting, your partner might be worried that his/her family won't react in the same way. Often, they won't even feel comfortable to express this worry to you, but if you are a bit observant, you will understand that something is bothering them. Offer to discuss with your partner how they want you to handle a first meeting with their family. Ask about things they like and things they hate. This way, if they are black and religious and you are white and atheist, you can avoid religion-related discussions and make sure you don't add insult to injury. You can also choose to be vague about things that you know could cause a conflict. By asking your partner how you can help their family accept you, you show how much you care and it is going to be really appreciated.

 Challenge: You and your partner have communication issues

 Solution: Having a different cultural background means that one person might take some things for granted, while the other not. Your partner might feel that it is just fine for his family to come and go into your house without calling first. You might feel that it is OK to go out with your girlfriends without letting him know. He might feel that you should both attend church, even if you are not religious. You might feel that he needs to do some of the cooking, even if he never did it at home. Issues become even more complex, when it comes to raising kids together. The only solution to this challenge is to talk. Talk about every little thing that bothers you and find a way to compromise. Make sure that you both feel you are working equally hard for the balance of your relationship. And do not forget to thank the other person, when they propose new ways to solve your differences.

 As long as you and your partner share core values and are willing to work out minor or bigger challenges, you can do it. The only tools you need are understanding, patience and communication. And forgiveness as well, since no one is perfect. You can make it work, if you want it!

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White Women, Black Men: Making Long Distance Relationships Work

As we all know, love is blind and often irrational. This is why you might end up falling in love with a lady or gent that lives in a state or country far far away from yours. There is no need to despair though! You can still successfully date white women or black men, even if they live thousands of miles away from you. All it takes is some patience and a bit of planning.

Online communication tools

Be it Skype or any other free online call program, those kind of tools will make your life a lot easier! If people managed to maintain long distance relationships with regular mail fifty years ago, you surely have many more chances with webcam communication. That is particularly useful if one of you is not so comfortable talking on the phone or writing mails. When you talk with a webcam, it is just as if you have gone for a coffee together. Yes, there is no option to hug or kiss each other, but a virtual kiss is better than nothing. 

Time zone tuning

If you live in different time zones, communication can be a bit tricky. Do the math and find the hours that are convenient for both of you. If it is 10 in the morning in your time zone and 10 in the evening in your girlfriend's, don't be upset if she is holding a glass of wine in her hand. Your day might be just starting, but hers is ending and she deserves to relax. Of course, she should also be understanding if you haven't had your cup of coffee yet and are not that talkative. It takes some practice, but you will figure out a couple of hours per day that work equally well for both of you. And even if your schedules are crazy, you can stick to e-mails during the week and have longer webcam calls during the weekend.

Scheduling trips

If you find yourself hanging over the phone or lap top screen, waiting for her message, then you probably have really fallen in love with her! When long distance relationships get more serious and stronger emotions are involved, it can really be a pain to be so far away from your other half. This is where trip planning comes in. If you book tickets to visit each other, you will have something to look forward to and it will make those long lonely nights much easier. If only one of you can travel, consider sharing the ticket cost, so that more visits become possible.

Setting boundaries

Online relationships that evolve to become long distance relationships are a very real thing. This means that all the drama of regular relationships comes into play, if you are not clear enough about your expectations. If you think that what you have is an open relationship and you can still date other women and your girlfriend can date other men, then do say so. It is unfair if one of the two believes this is an exclusive relationship and the other is seeing it as just an experiment. Also, if you do not feel comfortable having to be home at a specific time every day for a Skype call, do make it clear that you need more flexibility.

White women looking for black men do not usually plan to end up with a long distance relationship, but if they fall in love, they will try it out. The same goes the other way around. With patience, honesty and flexibility, everything is possible!

[awesomewhiteme]

White women black men dating: Become A Good Listener

Sometimes white women looking for black men are so caught up with their excitement about interracial dating, that they forget basic dating rules. The same goes the other way around of course. Their first time on an interracial date people tend to be either too shy or way to talkative, trying to tell the other person all about their cultural background and exotic genes. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is true that being exotic might have something to do with your charm, but do not self-indulge too much! Being a good listener is much more important on a first date.

  Allow enough time

Some people can start a discussion in seconds. Others need more time and they might need more time to reflect on their answers as well. If you date black men and they are quiet, it might be the easy thing to do to just take over the discussion. Soon enough, it will be only you talking and the date will turn into a monologue. Especially if your date is naturally shy, they will quickly get comfortable in a situation like that. But how are you going to get to know them, then?

  Ask meaningful questions

If you met your date online, you probably already know the basics about their life, like their family status, profession and where they come from. On your first date try and ask meaningful questions that show you are really interested in the person sitting next to you. You can ask about their ambitions, childhood memories, their favorite way to spend their free time, what they love and hate about their job, what is their favorite holiday destination and why. Do not just settle for a one-word response, but ask them to elaborate. And listen carefully, of course!

  Concentrate

The difference between hearing and listening is that when you listen to someone, you can recall what they told you. How many times have you been on a date and because you were bored or too excited, you were not really focused on what your date said? Really focusing on the answers of your date will help you a lot in the following dates. Think of how disappointed you would be if you mentioned your mother's or brother's name to someone and they kept asking “Who is that?”. If you really see a potential in this first date, then you need to put the effort to really get to know them through the little things.

  Do not interrupt

This is basic good manners, but we fill the need to stress its importance even more, when it comes to dating. Interrupting will discourage any shy person from talking to you and it can irritate everyone else. No matter how bored you are, keep it to yourself. Maybe if you leave the person talking a bit more time, the story will become more exciting. Or not. But you will never know if you interrupt them!

  Don't be all “I know what you mean. I have been there!”

Keep in mind that everyone experiences life through their own perspective. If your date has been robed and you have been robed too, it was probably a very different experience. And if someone decides to share something personal with you, you need to listen to them and, if you feel like it, support them. Making it about you only shows that you are selfish. This is a very common misunderstanding, as many people feel that the “I know what you mean” line brings people closer. Maybe, but only after your date has finished their story and their feelings about it.

  Becoming a good listener takes some practice, but it is very rewarding, not only when it comes to dating, but also in a work and family context. Good luck!

[awesomewhiteme]

What NOT to do when starting an interracial relationship

Starting out any relationship can be difficult. Of course there is passion and enthusiasm, but additionally you do not really know the other person and it is easier to end up with huge misunderstandings. When it comes to white women and black men dating, things can be slightly more complicated, especially if an interracial relationship is a new experience for one or both of them. Let's have a look at common mistakes that people do, when they start a relationship with someone from another race and ways to avoid them.

  You seem to be too enthusiastic about their race

You might think that this is a complement, but it is not. If you say things like “I love black men! They are so fit and strong”, you give the message that any black man would do for you. Try making specific compliments instead, like “I like your eyes/smile/sense of humor”. This way you let the other person know that it is specifically them that you are drawn to.

  You do not make long term plans

We are not talking about a wedding and children. But many people, when they start an interracial relationship, feel some insecurity, as they worry their partner sees it as a short-term experience. Try to comfort them and make them feel that you genuinely care about them. If you date white women, for example, do not exhaust your planning to “clubbing on Saturday”. Make a plan about a trip that you could take together in three weeks or ask her to meet her friends or cousins. This way you show that you are here to stay, at least until you figure out if you are really a match.

  You complement their friends way too much

That is closely related to number one. Women who date black men for the first time are excited to find themselves surrounded by a black community. Observing the way this community looks, talks, behaves, interacts etc can be very exciting. But making compliments all the time about how “your cousin is such a great dancer” or “your friend is really fit”, you are more likely to make him jealous than happy. After all, you just started your relationship and he should be the focus of your attention.

  You try to change your partner

This is a serious one and you should think about it before even starting a relationship, interracial or not. If you decide to be with someone, you need to understand that they are not going to change. Yes, people can change their behavior to keep you happy for a while. But soon they will feel restricted and miserable. So if you like your partner the way he or she is, do not pay attention to minor details. No one is perfect. And never start a relationship when having in mind that “when I persuade him to change that thing, he will be the perfect partner”. You will feel disappointed and he will feel oppressed. End of relationship.

  You try to convert your partner

Surely, that is not the same as asking someone to change his character, right? Wrong! Asking someone to follow your religion, your belief system, your values and so on is a huge thing to ask. Of course, there are relationships where one of the two partners decided to change a religion. But it has to be your partners free choice. And there are many other interracial relationships, where each partner keeps and honors their own traditions and creates some of their own to share. Keep in mind that for many people their religion or tradition defines how they perceive the world to a great extent and changing that can cause conflict not only with their families, but with themselves as well. If you feel that you could never be with a man who does not believe in the same god as you do, you can always find someone from another race with the same religion. That will save you both a lot of drama.

You do not show interest in their cultural background

This one might seem contradicting with the first one, but it is totally different. Race and culture are not the same thing at all. Many African Americans have a heritage from different African countries. The same goes for white women. Their family might be coming from Sweden, Italy, Ireland or Russia. Showing interest to your partner's cultural background shows them that you are interested to get to know them on a deeper level. Ask them to show you pictures of their parents and siblings or pictures of the place where they were born. You will sure hear many interesting stories!

  Keep in mind that regardless of race, people in a new relationship want to feel loved, accepted, wanted, unique and secure. With these guidelines in mind, you can't go wrong.

[awesomewhiteme]

Guilt of online interracial dating: Get over it!

Online dating has becoming quite popular overrecent years and for good reason. We all live busy lives and there is not much time for dates that lead nowhere. Online dating allows you to do a first filtering of possible partners, excluding quite fast the ones that you are sure won't be a match for you. Reputable online dating sites are regulated by moderators who make sure that people who insult other members or give fake personal information are being deleted. In the off-line world, it is harder to discover if someone is the person they claim they are. At least not without spending a few dates with them. Additionally, online dating allows you to get to know the other person through mails and messages, from the comfort of your own house, wearing your pajamas and drinking beer from the bottle. Talk about comfortable dates! Of course, eventually you will have to do the regular dating as well, but not before you have made your choice of people that really interest you.

  So if online dating has so many advantages, why is it still criticized by many? And even more so, when it comes to interracial dating? Let's have a look at the common myths and facts, when it comes to white women and black men dating online.

  Myth: He is going to drag you in a dungeon and kill you

Some people believe that online dating sites are full of sexual predators or just plain maniac serial killers. People who make these kind of statements are not trying to frighten you. They are scared themselves, because of their ignorance on the matter. Online dating sites, interracial dating sites included, have some basic safety rules that they follow. Users can report other users, if they behave in an inappropriate/strange way. This means that people with bad intentions get excluded from the online dating scene quite fast.

  Fact: You need to take basic safety precautions

Yes, online dating sites do their best to keep their members safe, but there are always people who are really good in approaching others without disclosing their real personality. This is why you should never give your address, full name, phone number, bank credentials etc to people that you have just met online. Arranging a first date on a public, neutral location is also a good idea.

  Myth: People only date each other in interracial sites for the experience

That is not true in most cases. Yes, white girls looking for black men might be attracted to them because of their skin color, because they look different, but there is more than that. You can assure your friends and relatives that if you were just looking to tick off “date outside my race” from your bucket list, you could as well go out with a random person that you met in a bar. Online interracial dating is about really getting to know the other person. This is why the dating starts with e-mails and messages. The website members pay attention to what other members want from their life, what are their goals and ambitions, how they imagine their future. Many members are looking for long term commitments as well.

  Fact: Some people do just look for an experience

It is sad, but it is a fact, that some people get so fascinated with the charm of interracial intimacy, that they forget the person behind the skin color. If you want to just date black men, regardless of who they are, then you should make your intentions clear from scratch, in order not to hurt other people on online interracial dating sites, who are looking for something meaningful.

  Myth: People do it just for the thrill. No one is serious

Big mistake. People looking for thrills do bungee jumping, fly with hot air balloons and swim with sharks. Or they go to a strip club. But they do not usually commit to online dating. Yes, dating outside your race can be exciting and thrilling, but that is more like a positive side effect of it, than a cause to do it. And that is true for the vast majority of people who make the effort to create a profile and put their picture, dreams and hopes out there, for people to see.

  Fact: Many people who met on online interracial dating sites got married

And they have children. Or they date for a long time, open up their heart and get to know another culture. Some times theybreak up, like many couples from the same race and culture do. But most of the times lasting, loving memories of their interracial relationships accompany them for the rest of their lives. The reason behind it is that if you put the effort to date outside your race, while acknowledging the cultural and social challenges, it means that you are really open and accepting and therefore willing to work to make a relationship last. What's more serious than that?

  Myth: You are just too lazy/coward to meet people in real life

People who say these kinds of things to you probably have really low standards. Or they have no job but lots of money, that allows them to go out every night. Or they are thirteen years old and believe that a crush is the same as real love. The thing is that even though it is relatively easy to meet people in real life if you go out often enough and put the effort to be social, it is not that easy to find people that you actually like. And when you find them, you often discover that their wife is standing next to them or that you have very different long term goals. So no, you are not a coward. You are just being realistic about the potential of “going out and just meeting people”.

  Fact: Real life dating situations are far from ideal

Often white women looking for black men have no other way to meet them, as there aren't any in their environment. The same goes for black men. They might know white women, but what if they do not know any white women that they would be interested to date? Why should they compromise, when there is the online dating option?

  Most people feel guilty of dating online because of the opinion of their social environment. Educate the people around you, by rationally and calmly replying to their questions. Usually people will try to shame you to avoid interracial online dating, because they are worried that something bad might happen to you. If you are confident about the advantages of online dating and you know how to protect yourself, there is no need to feel guilty about it! You are not doing anything wrong and you should not be criticized for it! Happy dating!