SOME PEOPLE become mildly possessed by their patron deity, summon harder rain, assassinate several enemy commanders, sign their name to the assassinations, sneak through an enemy camp with a literal child in tow, loudly declare themselves high king over not-yet-technically-all-theirs territory, arrange for the explosion of a shit ton of gunpowder, arrange for the panicked stampede of elephants, and call down a bolt of lightning to kill another enemy TO COPE
“…My god is a god of balance and, of course, the preservation of Thieves, which I suppose, technically, I am not. Maybe I shouldn’t push my luck.”
-THE KING OF ATTOLIA, MWT
Now that I’ve finished all six books, I thought it would be fun to do power rankings. Except the task of ranking these books feels vaguely impossible - each book is a different beast, with a different rhythm and level of complexity. So this is a very informal take, and I suspect the rankings will change based on how I feel on a given day, lol.
1. Queen of Attolia
If I have to choose the no 1 favourite, it is probably (surprisingly?) this. It’s a near tie with King of Attolia, but whenever I reread QoA I’m just reminded of what a risk-taking, brilliant gem it was. It’s one vividly drawn scene after another. The imageries are striking: the solarium windows shattering and the volcano vision, Sounis boats blowing up in the harbour while Gen’s silhouette greets the Magus, Gen’s ‘reunion’ with Irene at the boat, the kiss at the tent, the clash with the Mede army and the surrender, Irene finding Gen with the spilled wine cup and assuming the worst, “Diplomacy in my own name”. Even the way the book opens with Gen’s escape attempt (that leap-of-faith drop) feels like the in-medias-res opening of a tense miniseries. It is also the gutsiest thing - the greatest sleight-of-hand being the way it pulls us to Irene’s side after setting up what seems like an irredeemable first act. The interpersonal relationships (Gen and Helen have my favourite interactions in this book, along with the father/son moments with the Minister of War) are nuanced and fascinating. My favourite source of levity comes from the cousins pretending to be lovers (”put your head on my lap”), it’s just so slightly twisted in a funny way.
2. King of Attolia
A very close second, and there are times where I think it’s my no. 1 fave. I love how much the book is about the interplay between the private and public lives of people who live as symbols. Perception — erroneous, selective, and prone to manipulation — is so key to the story. Gen spent so much of the book playing a buffoon and a harmless fool as a form of self-defence and a way of blunting the power he feels ambivalent about. Sejanus manipulates perceptions among the attendants. The court refuses to see the real intimacy between Gen and Attolia as anything more genuine than statecraft on Attolia’s part. Costis’ perception of the King shifts from one end of the spectrum to another. The readers’ perception is obscured by Costis’s limited perspective, until he is drawn deeper into the private lives of Gen and Attolia. It’s a very fascinating theme and MWT really worked at it from a lot of angles. It’s also the book with the most confined setting - with the exception of one scene (Helen and the Magus), everything takes place at the Attolian court, and it feels so necessary because we need this to understand Gen’s sense of alienation and claustrophobia in a foreign place, and also to get intimately familiar with Attolia as a place and a court and a culture, not just the person with a face polished like marble, ruling it all. But beyond all that, this is also such a funny book. The post-assassination walk to the palace between Gen and Costis is such an angst-packed moment and yet it is so funny? “Wrong arm, dear” and “Yes! I’ll get the ten cups, I swear it!” are brilliant. There are wonderful contrasts of dark, painful moments (”the Great Goddess of Eddis is not known for her mercy”) and triumphant, fist-pumping ones (Gen’s duels against the Guard), and the later feels extremely satisfying because of the former.
3. Return of The Thief
Initially I regretted the fact that we couldn’t get a Gen POV / voice given the book title, but looking at the book as a whole, I think relegating the narration job to Pheris works. There are moments in the book - Gen’s playacting at the Mede camp, his speech to Fordad, bringing doom from the sky to befall Baron Erondites - where we really benefit from not knowing the inside of Gen’s head. The ambiguity works. We’ll never know how much of his speech to Fordad - with the allusion that he’s seen the Braeling king’s bedchamber and the threat it implied - was Gen, and how much of it was the god of thieves speaking through him. His being a hair’s breadth away from losing himself on multiple occasions. Us not being inside his head heightens the tension, and it works for me. With the theme of parent-child relationship (and how we shift from one role to another) being so prominent in the book, it also feels right to have a narrator and key character who perceives Gen as an older / guardian figure for once. It’s also so nice to see Helen and Irene’s relationship being further developed. I think one of the most moving scenes to me was Helen reliving her volcano dream, but this time with the city being empty. As if to say that all those sacrifices, all those lost lives aren’t for nothing.
4. The Thief
I held this book in higher esteem the more I reread it because it holds up so damn well, with all the foreshadowings and how neatly it sets up the themes that will continue to influence the subsequent 5 books. This book was published over 20 years ago, but if you told me that it was published in 2021, I would’ve believed it. The themes - gods walking the earth and their designs for people who strike their fancy, myths as storytelling, the way countries happily gobble up each other, double meanings and perceptions - are so timeless and executed SO WELL. A classic and deservedly so.
5. Thick as Thieves
The most poetic of the books. The one most touched by grief and loss. The loss of a child, the (perceived) loss of a friend, the loss of identity. And yet, in the same breath, hope. The scene between Kamet and Irene in the garden is my absolute favourite, and The River Knows Its Time is such a beautiful piece of work from MWT. Also unexpectedly gentle: the scenes between Gen and Kamet, both sovereign and a friend lost. It occurred to me that to Gen, Kamet is probably the only person in Attolia who knew him as a friend, however briefly, before he had to relinquish his identity as Thief and became king. Kamet is one of my favourite narrators - his concerns are realistic and grounded, and his shifting sentiments feel earned.
6. A Conspiracy of Kings
Probably tied with TAT for me. The return of Sophos! I enjoyed his relationship with Helen and his subtle transformation in character into someone who doesn’t mind ruthlessness when there’s no other way. I do feel like the book suffers a little from a lack of highs and lows - or perhaps a sense of danger? I never doubted that his quest to claim Sounis would be successful, and he’s such an easy-going person that I never doubted that his friendship with Gen would suffer much, even with the tension over their new dynamic / hierarchy. After a relatively tense opening, I feel that the book mostly ambles along, although there are some scenes in this book that I love deeply: Gen comforting Helen while carving a world with just the two of them with his cloak, Sophos and Helen’s relationship, Irene holding Helen’s hand before Sophos departs from Attolia. It’s an enjoyable read, it just doesn’t grab me as deeply as the rest.
I think what I like most about king of attolia and part of why it’s my favorite is the way it so completely shuts down any ableist thought towards Eugenides while also acknowledging that he has limitations because of his disability.
“It’s hard to justify attacking someone so helpless” says Teleus, completely ignoring the long and violent history of people who underestimate Eugenides. No, because Eugenides is disabled, he is utterly helpless and completely useless and the Guard hates him just as much for being disabled as they do for being Eddisian. The way he’s described as having tricked poor Irene, that she could never be happy with some cr*ppled goatfoot, brings to mind tropes about ~perverted cr*pples~ and lechers.
But by the end of the book, Gen shows himself as a skilled fighter, a political genius, and compassionate lover because this image they have of him being helpless isn’t based in reality, but in their own perceptions of him based partially on the fact that he’s disabled.
On the other hand, so much of the abuse that his attendants heap on him is based on hatred of his disability and gen IS, in fact, helpless to do anything but rely on them. He can’t button up his shirts one handed, he can’t wear coats that are sized too small because then his cuff sticks out, he can’t cut his own food properly, and most egregiously, he cannot blend in with a crowd anymore than he can strangle someone with one hand.
“He cannot kill the ambassador because he only has one hand” Philologos spits dejectedly, because he’s realized what the others can’t - Gen can’t sneak into the Medean Empire, he can’t strangle another man on his own, for the same reason that he WANTS to do those things. Sejanus all but says out loud that their torment of him is fine bc theyre acting on an impulse to put the cr*pple in his place, but it’s only when Philologos forces them to emphathise with him do they realize that this impulse isn’t valorous, it’s disgusting.
Costis realizes the danger of the attendents being cruel when Gen points out how easily he could be poisoned but the sick feeling Costis gets when he tries to take a ring off with one hand is when he realizes the interpersonal evil of mocking a man with one hand for having one hand. And yet this realization settles right next to his realization that Gen is a skilled swordsman.
Because of Eugenides’ disability, he is limited. Because of Eugenides’ disability, he is limitless. These things are both true and are allowed to be true in the eyes of our narrator, the Guard, and every enemy Eugenides has.
Oh this is great!!! Can I add that his disability in fact gives him an extra strength everyone totally disregards?
He knew that if Laecdomon had ever become a real threat, I would have disemboweled him. Did you forget?” He raised his lamed arm, and looking at the truncated limb, they remembered the deadly nature of the replacement for his missing hand.
Guy has a DEADLY WEAPON. ATTACHED TO HIM. AT ALL TIMES. And all anyone sees is “not a hand like we have.” They see the hook as a pale imitation of a “normal” hand instead of its whole own thing with its whole own strengths. That can straight up murder you if he ever feels like it.
Oof I don’t think I ever reblogged this but YESSS. It all ties back to ableism and the way they perceive him - nobody ever even notices that the hook can literally kill any one of them until he SPECIFICALLY POINTS IT OUT!!!!!!!!! But like you said, all they can see is Not A Hand. And it’s a lot of factors - his age, his race (ethnicity? whatever, the fact that he’s Eddisian, you get the point), his disability, his PTSD - and it’s really interesting seeing the beginning of the book with everyone underestimating him, but it’s not Gen that needs to change to being less Eddisian, less juvenile, less mentally ill, or less disabled, it’s everyone around him who has to realize that their preconceived idea of him is not based in reality. His disability can in many ways confine him, but it’s also what sets him free and allows him to stand apart.
Queen’s Thief Appreciation Week, Day 9: Quote Swap
He didn’t marry you to become king. He became king because he wanted to marry you.
Ngl drew this scene with no plan and went to find a random quote to apply to it, but this scene does really does show us who gen is when he drops the façade of attolis — just a guy who got stabbed in the belly and wants comfort from the woman he loves 🥺
Queen’s Thief Appreciation Week, Day 10: Favorite Platonic Ship
the queens! I absolutely adore the “frenemies to enemies to allies to in-laws to friends” arc of this duo — the progression of their relationship and opinions of each other is really put in the spotlight in Queen of Attolia when we get each of their POVs, but the little moments with the two of them in Return of the Thief warmed my heart so much ❤️
BASED ON THIS EXCELLENT POST BY @whocalledhimannux AND THE OTHER ONES!! GO READ THEM IF YOU HAVEN'T
we open with a voiceover of nahusheresh’s report home. you know, “the queen of attolia has been very shrewd in her advisors to have stayed on the throne for this long…” this explains a little bit about how tenuous attolia’s hold on the throne is. meanwhile we see shots of attolia conducting court business. the court waiting in silence for her to speak from the throne. attolia’s attendants giving her a robe as she strides to the window to look at the moon. a shot of her from the back showing the headband and red peplos. this ends with nahusheresh saying “not only is the queen of attolia beautiful, she possesses that most admirable of feminine qualities: she is easily led.” immediately following this we see attolia’s first husband choke, followed by a queen’s guard shooting a crossbow quarrel just to the right of the camera, followed by a young relius at attolia’s feet.
this summer: the queen of attolia
now we get a shot of the magus at gen’s bedside: “Attolia sent an ultimatum that Eddis return the caravans or consider herself at war.” close up on gen, bedridden with the scar on his cheek. “your queen’s entire two-word answer: war, then.” cut to eddis, sitting among her ministers, wearing pants. she looks up from her work straight into the camera.
the music builds as we see quick shots of all the war-things: the aracthus flooding out of the reservoir. soldiers struggling to climb a mountain pass. the sounisian ships burning in their harbour. the attolians and eddisians turning against the mede army. gen’s hook, glinting. attolia on a horse, red cloak billowing behind her and crown glinting in her hair. gen and his father fighting back to back in the rain.
smash cut to the windows of the solarium shattering. “eugenides,” a gentle, terrible voice says. “nothing mortals make lasts; nothing the gods make endures forever. do you understand?” some pretty shots: eddis, eugenides and the magus in the clearing. the sailboat sliding into the harbor lit by the moon. the altar of eugenides. a close-up shot of the earrings glinting.
irene dancing in the orange grove. the amphora of hair oil falling in slow motion as eugenides screams.
here’s our final scene: eugenides’ intense struggle as he’s dragged into the dismemberment room, the flickering light, attolia in her green dress lit by the fire, the shine of the knife. finally a shot of eugenides strapped to the chair, panting. close up on his (bruised, bleeding) face while offscreen attolia says “eugenides. what can you steal with one hand?”
my hobby is explaining the climax of koa to ppl who have never read it. like your king is a brat whom everyone (including the queen) hates and you punched him in the face one time and he’s been bullying you about it for weeks but you’ve just come to the unfortunate realisation that you would low-key die for him just in time for an assassination attempt and now he is bleeding. and you’re the only person around so you carry him through the palace to where his famously stone-cold wife is waiting and the first thing your grievously injured bratty bitchy king does in front of the entire court is smooch his excellent wife whom he loves. and the only thing keeping him upright. is you. point-blank range to your monarchs’ make-out sesh. this is not the weirdest thing that will happen to you this week
Finally finishing off this set… though I may come back and tweak the last one. I need to take a break from looking at it so I can see small problems more easily. But for now I’m still going to say it is FINISHED and, while it can be tough to be positive about my own work and there are things I’m not 100% satisfied with, I’m really proud of these images overall.
jacobvanloon
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
janainaart
tangentwithtanner
kaledo-art
yousharknotpass
