Human.

@awilderrp

This is an Alan Wilder role play blog. I am only playing him in writing; I am in no way associated with him. Everything here is fiction. Alan is currently his own boss; his last musical project was Recoil. His most famous work is with Depeche Mode, the band he left in 1995.

124 posts

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

"Don’t touch me, Al. Please.", calmly protested Dave, even though he wanted his touch so much and appreciated the care Alan had for him. He took the bottle and sipped from it several times, before returning it to Alan. Dave thanked for the blanket and laid his head on a fluffy pillow. "You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve it."

"No one deserves it. I’m a friend," Alan said simply, looked down at his watch and took it off. He raised it in the air to show David that he didn’t care about the time he’d pass with his friend. "I missed you," he said, looking at the opposite wall."

Dave observed well when Alan took off his watch. He was just too exhausted to say anything else or to make any gesture. Dave stood up, flushed the toilet and walked out of the bathroom. After staying still and not taking his eyes from Alan’s, he yawned, went to living room and dragged his mattress with him to the garden in the back of the house. He wanted to take a nap under the sun, imagining that like magic it’s rays would give him the strength he needed to make it through another day without the nasty heroin. He would just throw the mattress anywhere on the grass and immediately fell on it, as if he was falling on clouds. He sighed loudly, feeling the heat. He was waiting for Alan to join him, it was a beautiful sunny day to waste inside of an empty lifeless home.

Alan followed him with a little smile, which grew wider when Dave crashed on the mattress. He sat at the end, near his friend's feet, and sighed too. "I think I'll buy a guitar before tonight. It's very quiet here."

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

Dave wished he had another choice than facing Alan. He was just not ready to look in his eyes again. But he needed to lie down. He got out of the bathroom giving his back to his visitor, holding the towel around him with one hand and went straight to the mattress placed in his living room.

Alan bit his lip in worry at the pale, skinny man that passed him by. He peeked into the bathroom and got a basin, then took it next to Dave’s bed. Just in case. He sat on the carpet and stayed silent for a moment. “Can I stay and take care of you. This will take time.”

"You can stay as long as you like", Dave seemed irritated when he spoke, and didn’t make eye contact. He was trying not to say much. He was tired, dehydrated and weak.

"Alright then, very long," Alan said calmly. He pulled a cover over Dave and opened him a bottle of water. He carefully got the hair away from Dave’s face and withdrew his hand.

"Don’t touch me, Al. Please.", calmly protested Dave, even though he wanted his touch so much and appreciated the care Alan had for him. He took the bottle and sipped from it several times, before returning it to Alan. Dave thanked for the blanket and laid his head on a fluffy pilow. "You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve it."

"No one deserves it. I'm a friend," Alan said simply, looked down at his watch and took it off. He raised it in the air to show David that he didn't care about the time he'd pass with his friend. "I missed you," he said, looking at the opposite wall."

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

Dave wished he had another choice than facing Alan. He was just not ready to look in his eyes again. But he needed to lie down. He got out of the bathroom giving his back to his visitor, holding the towel around him with one hand and went straight to the mattress placed in his living room.

Alan bit his lip in worry at the pale, skinny man that passed him by. He peeked into the bathroom and got a basin, then took it next to Dave’s bed. Just in case. He sat on the carpet and stayed silent for a moment. “Can I stay and take care of you. This will take time.”

"You can stay as long as you like", Dave seemed irritated when he spoke, and didn’t make eye contact. He was trying not to say much. He was tired, dehydrated and weak.

"Alright then, very long," Alan said calmly. He pulled a cover over Dave and opened him a bottle of water. He carefully got the hair away from Dave's face and withdrew his hand.

#davegahanrp #free or not

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

"Please, no… I don’t wanna make the news again just because of a puke". After a minute he got up again and stumbled to the door. He didn’t want to open it. He was looking even more sick and pale than the other day. "This is what happens when I stay away from heroin too long".

Alan leaned his forehead to the wall right next to the door. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Dave wished he had another choice than facing Alan. He was just not ready to look in his eyes again. But he needed to lie down. He got out of the bathroom giving his back to his visitor, holding the towel around him with one hand and went straight to the mattress placed in his living room.

Alan bit his lip in worry at the pale, skinny man that passed him by. He peeked into the bathroom and got a basin, then took it next to Dave's bed. Just in case. He sat on the carpet and stayed silent for a moment. "Can I stay and take care of you. This will take time."

#davegahanrp #free or not

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

"Don’t come in here!" , Dave cried. His chin was touching the toilet border.

Dave’s voice had a ceramic echo. “OK, I’m outside. Should I call an ambulance?”

"Please, no… I don’t wanna make the news again just because of a puke". After a minute he got up again and stumbled to the door. He didn’t want to open it. He was looking even more sick and pale than the other day. "This is what happens when I stay away from heroin too long".

Alan leaned his forehead to the wall right next to the door. "I'm glad to hear that."

#davegahanrp #free or not

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

The door opened with the breeze.

Dave was in the bathroom, taking a quick cold shower. As soon as he finished, he put a towel around his waist, fast, and felt on his knees to vomit inside the toilet.

There was no mistaking that sound. Food going up the wrong end. Alan knocked at the bathroom door. “Dave? Tell me you’re conscious!” It was a silly question, but that was what he needed to know.

"Don’t come in here!" , Dave cried. His chin was touching the toilet border.

Dave's voice had a ceramic echo. "OK, I'm outside. Should I call an ambulance?"

#davegahanrp #free or not

metalislifee-deactivated2019012

Together they just adorable,and funny!

#d'awww #we're magnetic #the mode

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

"I tried my best not to want to talk to you, but I can’t.", he spoke nervously, pausing in each word. "I’m having this weird intense sweating."

That was all he needed. “Hold on, I’m coming.” He shut the phone and ran out of the hotel into a taxi. Some ten minutes later he was at Dave’s door, eyebrows furrowed in worry and hands nervously folding and unfolding the end of his shirt.

The door opened with the breeze.

Dave was in the bathroom, taking a quick cold shower. As soon as he finished, he put a towel around his waist, fast, and felt on his knees to vomit inside the toilet.

There was no mistaking that sound. Food going up the wrong end. Alan knocked at the bathroom door. "Dave? Tell me you're conscious!" It was a silly question, but that was what he needed to know.

#davegahanrp #free or not

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

Dave shouted a sequence of bad words when he heard the phone ringing. He knew who it was and if he didn’t pick up Alan would come over and make him feel even worse about himself. He didn’t even say hello. Dave just breathed loudly through the phone.

"Dave?" Alan became worried with the heavy breathing. "Are you alright?"

"I tried my best not to want to talk to you, but I can’t.", he spoke nervously, pausing in each word. "I’m having this weird intense sweating."

That was all he needed. "Hold on, I'm coming." He shut the phone and ran out of the hotel into a taxi. Some ten minutes later he was at Dave's door, eyebrows furrowed in worry and hands nervously folding and unfolding the end of his shirt.

#davegahanrp #free or not

This is an Alan Wilder role play blog. Alan is currently his own boss; his last musical project was Recoil. His most famous work is with Depeche Mode, the band he left in 1995.

#real person rp #celebrity rp #he's not even a celebrity

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

Early that morning, Dave went out to check his mail. Whenever he did that, he had a gun in his pants. A paranoia he had developed in the past 2 weeks or so. Now his thoughts were more intense. If his “friends” had the courage to break into his home, why not they would come later to take his life? He wanted to talk about that to somebody, to share his fears, and he knew Alan would listen, but he didn’t want to call him. He was still feeling hurt and frustrated with what happened the other day. ” I wanna talk, but I don’t wanna hear his voice…” , thought Dave, confused and curious why he had started sweating for no reason. He sat somewhere near the phone, but only stared at it.

Dave was supposed to call. But what if Dave called while Alan was outside? And he couldn’t sit in that room and watch telly all day.

"That’s not what I travelled all this way for," he mumbled and he was taking the receiver and dialling the number.

Dave shouted a sequence of bad words when he heard the phone ringing. He knew who it was and if he didn’t pick up Alan would come over and make him feel even worse about himself. He didn’t even say hello. Dave just breathed loudly through the phone.

"Dave?" Alan became worried with the heavy breathing. "Are you alright?"

#davegahanrp #free or not

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

David tried not to shut the door when Alan left. He took a cigar and a lighter from his pocket and walked across the mansion. There was a small garden behind the backdoor. He sat like an indian on the grass, smoked a little and look down to his crotch, still rigid. “Why do you always get me into trouble?”. If his dick could answer, it would tell him he was wrong to try rushing Alan. That’s not how you prove him you’ve always been in love with him, but never knew what to do about it, and still doesn’t.

Dave cried silently right there where he was, until Jonathan came back, bringing his lunch. He wiped his tears and went back inside to eat. He told about Alan stopping by, although he didn’t get into details. Jonathan noticed Dave he needed to fly to New York the next day for a few days to solve Depeche Mode related problems and he felt relieved that Alan could keep him company. “Just don’t do drugs”, asked the manager before leaving the mansion once again. Dave couldn’t sleep that night ‘cause he wouldn’t stop thinking about Alan.

The first thing Alan looked at when he went back to his hotel room was the phone. And he developed an attachment to it. He’d glance at it from time to time while watching satellite TV or reading. He looked directly at it when he woke up the next morning. He got up and showered with the door slightly open.

Early that morning, Dave went out to check his mail. Whenever he did that, he had a gun in his pants. A paranoia he had developed in the past 2 weeks or so. Now his thoughts were more intense. If his “friends” had the courage to break into his home, why not they would come later to take his life? He wanted to talk about that to somebody, to share his fears, and he knew Alan would listen, but he didn’t want to call him. He was still feeling hurt and frustrated with what happened the other day. ” I wanna talk, but I don’t wanna hear his voice…” , thought Dave, confused and curious why he had started sweating for no reason. He sat somewhere near the phone, but only stared at it.

Dave was supposed to call. But what if Dave called while Alan was outside? And he couldn't sit in that room and watch telly all day.

"That's not what I travelled all this way for," he mumbled and he was taking the receiver and dialling the number.

#davegahanrp #free or not

infinity-intensifies

It’s Alan Wilder. Recognize him. Stare at him. Then die.

#myface #and other parts

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

Alan’s expression became ever more amazed at Dave’s admission of stupidity. He collected his hat from the floor and mumbled, his head low. “Yes, well… here’s the card of the hotel…I’m… sorry…” He handed him the card and headed out. “Call me.” And he was gone. The sunshine hit him like a punishment.

David tried not to shut the door when Alan left. He took a cigar and a lighter from his pocket and walked across the mansion. There was a small garden behind the backdoor. He sat like an indian on the grass, smoked a little and look down to his crotch, still rigid. “Why do you always get me into trouble?”. If his dick could answer, it would tell him he was wrong to try rushing Alan. That’s not how you prove him you’ve always been in love with him, but never knew what to do about it, and still doesn’t.

Dave cried silently right there where he was, until Jonathan came back, bringing his lunch. He wiped his tears and went back inside to eat. He told about Alan stopping by, although he didn’t get into details. Jonathan noticed Dave he needed to fly to New York the next day for a few days to solve Depeche Mode related problems and he felt relieved that Alan could keep him company. “Just don’t do drugs”, asked the manager before leaving the mansion once again. Dave couldn’t sleep that night ‘cause he wouldn’t stop thinking about Alan.

The first thing Alan looked at when he went back to his hotel room was the phone. And he developed an attachment to it. He'd glance at it from time to time while watching satellite TV or reading. He looked directly at it when he woke up the next morning. He got up and showered with the door slightly open.

#davegahanrp #free or not

#the mode #perfect we were

Free. Or not. (closed rp)

Alan got up too and listened. He gasped when he saw Dave’s gesture and raised his hands, ignoring the blush that crept up his neck and cheeks. It disappeared soon anyway. “As always, isn’t it? Dave’s dick is the most important in any situation! Do you know how many times I’ve had to deal with one of those because of you?”

Dave thought about hitting his head against the wall. “I know I am very, very, stupid, but I don’t want to start a fight”. He walked to the door, looking down.”It would be better for you to leave. I promise I’ll give a call to your hotel room to notice you of my state.”

Alan's expression became ever more amazed at Dave's admission of stupidity. He collected his hat from the floor and mumbled, his head low. "Yes, well... here's the card of the hotel...I'm... sorry..." He handed him the card and headed out. "Call me." And he was gone. The sunshine hit him like a punishment.

#davegahanrp #free or not

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