Attraversiamo

I romanticize everything. Vintage-inspired, bohemian life

[ducissatenebrarum]

Władysław Hasior, “Black Landscape I, For the Children of Zamojszczyzna”

1974 (The Tatra Museum, Zakopane)

[sarcasm-factory]

Kurt Cobain and kittens.

[pissmoon]

Kardashian influenced fashion is basically fuckin beige, racefaking, beige and brown, bragging about money for bragging itself, beige, plastic surgeries, beige, nude make up made with 50 different products just to look boring and no fun, ass implants to the point of lookin like hentai drawn by an incel who has never seen a naked woman, more fuckin beige and well i am so sick of it

[afatlittledog]

me: *undresses slowly for the demons in my room*

demons: nice

[thingsilearnedfromsatc]

[glassbonespaperskin]

[avvatar-deactivated20140226]

[skatamefraouless-deactivated202]

me: I’m so cute

me 15 mins later: I hate myself

[rhosery]

Wild Things (1998)

[understands]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[aworldunfolded]

journal entry

my dad and i don’t have a relationship. he’s a narcissist and has borderline personality disorder and has refused to get help for many, many years. it has destroyed our family and severed so many relationships. he also refuses to take responsibility or apologize for hurtful actions. on the short end, i gave him some bottom lines and boundaries to repair our relationship. sadly, after angrily gaslighting me through text, he ultimately refused and i haven’t spoken to him since as part of my boundaries.

i’ve felt that my dad hasn’t loved me for a long time because he’s manipulated, gaslighted and said and done hurtful things in the past and present. it’s sad to me to see that he won’t get help for someone he’s supposed to love (i.e his daughter). 

since the virus has isolated many of us, it’s made me more angry at my dad. it’s made me think of him more and has made me more sad. it’s made me sad that he’s chosen his declining mental state over his children and his ability to heal. it makes me sad to know that he’ll never love me in the way that i need and it makes me sad that even though my boundaries are healthy and my own, i can’t be on speaking terms with him at this point until he changes his mind to get healthy.

i’d be lying to you if i said i didn’t miss him and i didn’t miss the moments of him being a good dad as a young kid. that is twisted into feelings of sadness and anger of the things he’s done and trauma he’s caused. 

one day, i hope i can have a relationship with him again although i’m not holding out for it. 

i’m in therapy, like i have been for years and i’m working through many feelings and issues i have surrounding my dad and other traumas. 

i needed to journal this to let you know that even though sometimes struggles may seem like a tunnel, there really are bright spots. your healing isn’t linear and some days, weeks or months are worse than others but please remember that it’s all a process. you’re worth fighting for yourself and your worth all the love in the world, even if others are too sick to see it. 

[-kokoro]

untitled by ( Jabbeltubel )

[danger]

untitled by  emma covington

[honeycharms-archived]

[90377]

Isle of Skye and The Highlands of Scotland by Monokai www.monokai.nl

[heartcountry]

hope your days get softer from here on out. hope the hurt lessens and the dark turns to light. you deserve gentleness and good love. I hope it finds you soon.