I crave and crave and crave but nothing changes
I crave to have my life back.
The way the golden field would move with the evening breeze.
The world seemed so new, so warm, so golden.
I wish i would’ve appreciated.
I should have stayed outside for five more minutes and felt the way the sun felt on my skin.
A warm and bright light like a hug holding my small limbs
I was ever pure, ever-growing, and happy.
After the sunlight hid below the horizon, I would enter to a home that smelled of delicious food.
I’d sit on the table and enjoy my hot meal and later I would be tucked into bed by my mother.
She’d kiss my forehead good night and would giggle at the sensation her lips left behind.
Now, the world is bleak and grey,
the color sucked out of everything.
The sun still shines but it’s not as warm and bright as before.
I don’t spend my days outside, I stay inside and count my troubles.
My skin isn’t a honey color, in fact it’s pale and gray. The blue circles beneath my eyes look like a moon crescent
My mom doesn’t tuck me into bed and kiss my forehead anymore.
I can’t remember the last time a giggle escaped my lips.
The evening breeze is still blowing but it’s not comfortable against my skin.
It’s cold and picks at me like needles.
The food isn’t served on the table, it is left in the fridge, waiting for someone to reheat it.
I crave for the sun to come back.
I crave to have my life back.
I crave to feel happiness instead of this pit of pain in my soul.
I crave and crave and crave but my life is never returned to me
The sun dips into the horizon.
The direction of the wind changes.
But my sadness stays in my soul, burning a hole in my heart.
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