lmayonnaise @ayy-lmayonnaise - Tumblr Blog

elasticitymudflap

masterpost of fish names i really like

hugh--jassmann

iguanamouth

theauspolchronicles

Pauline Hanson has urged Australians to eat only non-halal Easter eggs.

“Cadbury is no good! I personally prefer Lindt, for they don’t cave in to this PC Lefty bullshit of making halal Easter eggs. They make sure there’s pig’s blood in every single one! Just like how my mother used to make.”

She bit into one. Blood and nougat burst from the core.

“Mmmm… delicious.” She reached for a chocolate bunny and, with one swift bite, severed its head clean in two. “Oh my, this one is particularly bloody. How very Australian.”

“Have a safe Easter,” she said as blood dripped down her horrifying snarl of a smile. The red mingled with her already red sweater, creating a horrific drip pattern. “Be safe,” she repeated, softer, bloodier, as she stared deep into the camera.

jojostarz

When people say they remember their childhood perfectly and not in bits and pieces with mostly a black void of nothingness like me

?? hoW in th e fuk ???

hollowtones

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.