I've gotta credit this post by @azfellandco because it almost certainly contributed to my thoughts here.
Since Before the Beginning, Aziraphale has wanted to be acknowledged, to be noticed. It doesn't seem to come naturally to him to demand attention. He doesn't seem to want power or influence for its own sake. But he really, really wants to be held dear.
And that is not what Heaven is about. Aziraphale doesn't even have to be particularly targeted in Heaven to have been crushed by it; it is standard for Heaven to treat its angels as nobodies. It's a deliberate tactic.
Considering all this, Crowley's attentions must be like a drug to Aziraphale. Someone who's NEVER had his feelings considered, being comforted and told all his instincts are OK or even correct? Someone who's just another worker bee, getting special favors from someone who's supposed to be the enemy? Someone who always seems to be the last to know any of Heaven's plans, becoming a trusted confidante?
And yet, all of this goes against the very purpose he was Created for, against Goodness itself. No wonder Aziraphale is terrified of his own desire.
If we think of the ox ribs scene as a representation of the things Crowley is offering - what Aziraphale wants from him and what Crowley wants to give - we can see a little of this fear in action. Notice how Aziraphale is seated so he's facing away from Crowley.
He turns around to chat with Crowley about Sides and loneliness, but when Crowley makes the point that his side and God's side are mutually exclusive, Aziraphale turns away again, tearing into the ox rib angrily. He's enjoying himself a lot and will determinedly continue to do so, but he can't square the fact that there is no room for questioning with God. He literally can't face what it means to question. There's the loneliness, there's the guilt, and there's also the danger of getting sent to Hell, in A Companion to Owls, or whatever other punishment Heaven can mete out, in general.
So it is, again, no wonder, when Aziraphale finally starts to give in to his desire for Crowley himself, that he goes all-in without looking at exactly what that has to mean - talking about "our car" and "our bookshop" and eventually gearing up to take Crowley back to Heaven with him.
Once again, he can't face the fact that questioning is a part of Crowley and there is no place for questioning in Heaven, and therefore, Crowley cannot be reinstated as an angel and remain the same person.
I think the ox ribs scene, and the later comment from Crowley about having the constitution of an ox, frame it this way: Aziraphale is ravenous for everything about Crowley, but their existence together is fragile, and in his terror of loss, the angel almost spiritually devours his demon. Not on purpose, no, not even with awareness that's what he'd be doing, but because all the alternatives are intolerable.
And that's why, although he doesn't realize it yet, he actually did need Crowley to say "no" to Heaven.
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