What was your motivation to shift to mha? What goal did you hope to achieve?

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@azuraharage
What was your motivation to shift to mha? What goal did you hope to achieve?
Is this too weird lmk, i traced over an irl pic of me at a weird side angle where i was making a face, and then i just decorated it with features inspired by my oc, like the hair and eyes cz otherwise it’s just awkward
This was an earlier artwork of the same oc where i was mainly focused on her fit, and yes i larp naruto.
the line art of her arms is digusting😭 makes her look skinny as all hell and her torso doesn’t make it better, they were SUPPOSED to look like abs but alas
Wait why are ppl reblogging do they hate me
She has an ability that lets her summon two spirits, a demon and an angel. They help her navigate what is good and bad and she decides what to trust from a grey area. Since they did start existing simultaneously with her that technically means they are the same age as her. (14) Although they wouldn’t see it that way since they’ve existed through reincarnations for trillions of years, but still they reincarnated/reformed when valiance began to form in the womb. And she’s not aware of all her past lives with them the way they are. Time for them works very oddly like they always saw, felt, and missed valiance, before, during, and after her entire spiritual existence which started with the birth of their earth (which in their universe is named gaia) and ended with the death of it.
For them to not be accurate personifications of good and bad within society leaves valiance with a lot more work on her shoulders to actually navigate the more realistic ways that good and bad act within humans. Which makes them useless and convincing myself i should then just use them as symbolization for the way that society treats good and bad as something generic like it’s not the most painfully obscure thing humans have been arguing about for thousands of years and still just being able to come up with the same questions and answers repeatedly until we die, screams laziness to me and still just leaves them useless within their cosmically and spiritually assigned jobs
But idk that’s just the surface when we get to the actual plot of the story and her character, ofc i do want them to be useful. It’s just i thought it’d make more sense if i didn’t humanize them, to make them feel like real spirits of space and time attempting to imitate humans on earth but then that just leaves two brainless aliens that u can’t resonate with. Also why i didn’t wanna give them proper pronouns they are just, it and that. And then another issue is that they’re not gonna feel like valiance’s closest best friends?
This is no where near unique
But i thought it’d be cool to take a twist on how demons present themselves with fire by making the angel present themselves with heat cz it lowk makes more sense that way, and just like how ashes is presented with heat but with plasma instead of fire, void is represented not with ice but simply the cold, which is the absence of heat.
The angel, ashes, (which valiance named herself) represents good, which comes with representing light and stars, and even the heat that comes with that. What stars are made of is plasma powered by nuclear fusion, the process of crushing hydrogen atoms into helium, releasing massive amounts of heat and light. It’s interesting how that works like a bomb apparently so like imagine using nuclear fusion like a bomb of heat and light, or if u could control the heat then a VERYYYYY powerful flash bomb. That is op. And thats how i like it!
The demon, void, represents bad, it acts as the absence of good, the absence of light, the absence of warmth, so it’s the shadow that is left without light, just absorbing it, and the cold left without heat, dimming that warmth. Tho it might depend on the presence of it’s contrary, bad is still as much of a force as good is.
It’s funny how light has to be more of a force than dark has to be just to exist, which reminds me of how to be good means to fight and conquer over anything that is bad meanwhile people will tell u that the world sucks because that’s just the way it is, like is there no universe where light and good is the nature of the universe? That doesn’t have much relevance it just made me think
I think for content it would be better if i took off the ninja perk for the satisfying kill sound
I use it because i think it’s useful (its also my only perk but we wont talk about how i’m brokies) but maybe i can get a better one that allows the kill sound
Posting on tumblr feels better since no one from my personal life knows me on here its safe but also kinda bums me out that no one will see it and that i dont feel safe sharing otherwise but i mean i share things to a non existent audience with full awareness that some of these things shouldn’t be shared to an audience
God awful quality
I’m tweaking out
I always get so excited when i make friends on roblox that i forget it’s fucking roblox and we’re never gonna speak again
Why did this person completely ghost me after i tried giving them my socials, they first left the game to go add me and after waiting a while i see that theyre online and playing some other game, and it weirded me out bc i wonder why they didn’t say anything So i joined whatever game they were playing to try and talk and hang out some more and after they had just responded once they stopped responding so i got bored and left but i really wanted to have a conversation so i sent them a more direct text and they haven’t texted me back explaining
Its a shame and maybe just not realistic to be genuine friends? I don’t even want to show my face😭 i truly don’t know who this person is, but i know their name and our birthday is two days apart!!
No i otherwise do not have friends or much of a social life at all irl
I guess i’m feeling a little lonely
And for some reason vulnerability feels worse when i’m not being open about it
Like realizing something so vulnerable and not being able to just sit with it
I had a dream inside a dresm inside a dreamz the first one was about me knowing i i was in a dream and wanting to shift and then i woke up from that and that was the second then the third one we almost got into a car crash with my brother, mom, and other, while she turned off the car and i tried to put it in parking and it was just a mess
It’s weird i have dreams with these vivid themes althought the dreams themselves mever are actually vivid like ive dreamed plent of times now of shifting thrpugh dreams or having vivid dreams but it almost just seems like what i want is showing through the dreams themselves mever instead of the dream itself actually being that way
It seems it doesn’t matter if i’ve taken a break from actually shifting, since shifting was always escapism and the desire for escapism has never and probably won’t ever go away anytime soon
Valiance, vengeance… and Alice?
Val, a vigilante worth two billion, caught hundreds of thousands in the u.s alone worth of people who have unfortunately slid under the system that’s apparently designed for liberty and justice for all.
Venge, who intended to sacrifice her sister for two billion, gets to live and pay charges only minor compared to the amount of money she was given.
Val, who used their triplet sister, who no one but her own family knows about to continue her work in the world, because if she didn’t then no one would’ve and the idea of leaving this world the exact same way she found it was something impossible for her to bear. She just couldn’t, instead of reuniting with her sister in some run down home in a run down town, to follow a plan she made, she instead replaced her eldest position to the youngest, her long, blue hair, cut and dyed and made to look a mess as if she had never left the place “Alice” was born in.
That time of the month when i realize i’m dead ass so unproductive and stuck in my daydreams i convince myself i want to write a fanfic
I also suck at murder mystery 2
Shifting feels so lonely
My brain does not often want to sleep, it wants to be awake so i have to act asleep, i close my eyes and lay there for an hour knowing my brain will have to eventually shut down if i apply that to shifting i can essentially force my brain into thinking that i have shifted and thus shift but how? Dead ahh act delusional? Not even necessarily believing in it or affirming just acting in little ways that say this is unfamiliar which is unfortunately going to require effort in order to go out of my comfort zone
Right okay so shifting
What will my established relationships look like with bakugo and midoriya? If we even have one. I’m not entirely sure if i’m valid for this due to whatever mediocre feelings it might be coming from, but, i’m trying to just be graceful to myself here. I don’t have to tear the relationship of bakugo and midoriya apart, I just want to be mutually involved, unfortunately, that means having to be willing to go along with them, and i’m unsure if i even want to do that. I have conflicted feelings due to depression and anxiety, i want to be loved, i want to fight for what i want, but then everything in my body says that I can’t, and that i won’t succeed, and that i never even wanted to do it in the first place.
Plot idea:
“Sasuke, the promise of a betrothal between our two clans was made long before our existence and I won’t let my honor slip from my grasp the way it did for my father!”
The whole arc here of Azura is chasing after Sasuke not for any other reason but to attempt to take him for herself. Their clans had made a betrothal between Azura’s father and Sasuke’s mother first but when that fell through due to Sasuke’s mother’s flee from the situation the betrothal lied upon their two youngest children instead, for them to wed as soon as they were of age (16). Expectations put on her not only from her clan but her father as well, how the status of a family relies on daughters and mother’s when the father’s have fallen. In the end she never loved Sasuke but was devoted to continue a life where her fail of a betrothal didn’t eventually end her life the way it did to her father. Her power would never be enough for her clan if not by the side of a good man. Along the way in her story she was fearful, and she was jealous of how love and devotion and the natural ability to follow each other did not apply to her and Sasuke the way it did for Sasuke and Naruto or Sasuke and Sakura idfk. Also not to mention some key aspects I think are important is how their two clans did not condition them to leave each other by bringing them closer but instead conditioned them to hate each other and grow distant similar to real life where you’re raised to despise the traits of the opposite sex while also expected to marry and have a life with each other.
Just some more details of Azura:
She is the youngest of seven sisters.
her hyper masculinity is a facade to protect herself.
just how meaningful her family and clan really are to her, she was still willing to marry even after Sasuke, possibly even Sasukes brother, or maybe one of her older sister’s marries Sasukes older brother who i don’t know the name of.
this is deeply flawed, i’ve never watched naruto but this is simply my way of coping with narusasu
Extra thoughts:
For Azura, marriage might be survival but on a more personal level myself i feel like it kind of symbolizes her desire to love and understand properly the way that others do which is why i was contemplating her marriage. Because marriage does mean political opportunity to Azura but to me in my modern age it also means love, understanding and devotion
Okay so maybe what i want for Azura is different than what she wants i want for her to love and understand while also being loved and understood but she wants to become the head of her clan, she wants to lead her family out of the tragedy her father left them in.
I could make thousands of these curse anime
How it feels to find a character attractive knowing he’s gay and in love:
After trying to shift i only have dreams. Why? What do i do