Long Over Due Update
Underneath Azynyn is a book that I wrote while in high school. It was a part of a world that would contain a multitude of stories. Having such a massive passion project put onto a teenager though, goes as you would imagine. I finished the book and quickly acknowledged that it wasn't ready to be shared.
After a year in college I realized I wanted to take on the world again in a new city called Los Colinas: The New Las Vegas. The idea was at first nothing but a drive to create more cyberpunk art because I could never find enough female written and centered Cyberpunk fiction to be satisfied. To top it off I had watched the tragedy that is Banana Fish and the first season of Arcane and was in a really poor place in my life with my mental health. My abuse during those years created a monster of a project, with an unreliably traumatized narrator, a risky manipulator, and a world rife with political and cultural commentary. I was thrilled, and the story quickly became nothing short of a child to me. But again, once I finished it I could tell it wasn't ready.
A part of my trauma has always been tied to my place in this capitalistic hellscape we live in. I was born in a poor home, but one that lacked the education to realize that community was important for survival. I was bread to believe that relying on others was selfish, and painted you out to be weak or childish. So I poked and eroded at my ever waining motivation, to get the book published— to be successful in this field I've dedicated my life to.
Very bad idea.
I went into the publishing and querying process far too early for the story I had been writing, and paid the price of taking dozens of agents out of the running for potential candidates who would take my story on.
But here I am now. I have healed a lot since then and have come to terms with this book taking much longer than I initially intended. And I am ready to embark on a journey, no matter how long it takes, to make this story into the beautiful creature I feel it is in my heart.
Of course there will always be other stories. I'm working on a space opera series as well as inter-dimensional series. But I haven't been able to pull my heart too far away from this one, not at least until I've done the best I can to make it what I know it can be.
So, here's to the seventh edit, but first total re-plotting of the book of my heart, The Further Down We Go.
