Presence Is Key

Thoughts and poems Aqua, Scorpio, Pisces ~ Billy W ~

[aspiritualwarrior]

“I cannot live with myself any longer.” This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. “Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the ‘I’ and the ‘self’ that ‘I’ cannot live with.” “Maybe,” I thought, “only one of them is real.”

~ Eckhart Tolle

[lioninsunheart]

Love, ultimately, is a practice. A practice of acceptance, being present, forgiveness, and stretching your heart into vulnerable territories. Sometimes we treat love like it’s a destination. We want that peak feeling all the time, and when it’s not there, we’re not satisfied with what the relationship has become. In my mind, this is missing the whole point of love. Love is a journey and an exploration. It’s showing up for all varied nuances of your relationship and asking yourself, What would love do here?” The answer will be different every time, and because of this, you’ll get to grow in ways you never have before. The conscious couple is fiercely committed to being the embodiment of love. And through their devotion and practice, love shows up in their lives and relationship in ways they would’ve never imagined before.~ art: James R Eads

[soulsorting-deactivated20190722]

I’m so unapologetic about my love for love. Why should I dim my intensity? Why should I restrict my heart when it lives within everything?

[b3lm00p-blog]

This is perfect

[b3lm00p-blog]

in two

I am split

I feel moods

Emotions

That I do not recognise

One tell Me

Free and isolate

It’s a hermit card

Come to fruition

In silence, I deliberate

On myself

Until renewed

Part two

Of this jagged soul

Intensely desires

Connection with you

With them

Desperately, she pines

I am appalled

By her wishes

Part one detached

And part two clings

My left hand claws at the cliff

Wanting to let her heart spill over

And breathe the breath of depth

She’s a spiteful nymph however,

Do we trust such intentions?

The Me inside glances down

The right hand hangs loosely

Feeling nothing and swaying in the wind

wanting to fall

To the nothing

My mind watches

Unsure who to listen to

To climb the cliff means to indulge

Obsess and drown in a heaven of emotion

The fall from such a height means freedom and flight

Letting go and forgetting

Detachment has peaked

Where is the balance?

Why can I not fall to a ledge hidden below my dangling feet

And let these swirling thoughts free

But still feel the warmth of the sun

And not the coldness of the abyss

The abyss is not unwelcomed

But i recognise its danger

It’s seduction

isolation is heroin and I can be an addict

Instead

I feel myself murmur

I will detach

Not from myself

Or the world

But from these swirling combative sides

I can see an aura

Shining from ahead

It is I

My aqua sister

Myself evolved

She extends herself

With grace, I accept

She embodies the balance

The freedom

The energy I can exude

Both hands

Sweetly hold hers

And presence is all I feel

~ billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

my moon is death

Why am I made this way

A creation of our queen

I tell you

my emotions are a river

surface stillness

But a rapid of power

Threatening to drown a reckless soul

misjudge my current

And feel the weight of me

Drown you

- billy w

[qvotable]

“Two souls don’t find each other by simple accident.”

— Jorge Luis Borges

[sunsetquotes]

“It is quite unbelievable that there will be people that I will love unconditionally that I have not met yet. Somewhere out there, in a supermarket or singing in the shower, there are souls that have not touched mine yet but will, eventually.”

— J.D.M; The Skies We’re Under

[samfiftyfour-literary]

It wasn’t that you were better than the rest of us.

It wasn’t even that you knew you were better.

It’s that you weren’t willing to pretend.

~samfiftyfour

[b3lm00p-blog]

And again,

I finish with you

But with a simple sigh

I’m all in again.

Soulfully, I weep.

Chained by the connection

But pushed far from it

The volatile strength

Of the purest definition of love

My pathway leads me from you

But I turn my head each time

Looking and sighing as I’m pulled away

From the emperors arms

And that divine self

Will our pathways earnestly cross?

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

My sunrise

Embers burning through my spirit

Horizon lifting

The rhythm of the day starts

Learn their steps

Learn her flow

Dip me down

Electric orange igniting their bass

A quartet of wings

Dance on the strings of a violin

Their souls gently strummed

And the crescendo lifts as their life is freed

Renewed with the energy

Of the beacons streaming through

I see my sky

The wrath of heaven

The glory of hell

Either pulls me in

I want to taste the burning

Feel it blister the base of my tongue

And my crackling skin as it slides off

I want to feel the wrath of such beauty

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

Lake

Quick steps and nimble fingers

Nails scratch on a vinyl cover

Falling, I’m falling

Ocean waves and flowing distaste

Washing through the core

Of rotting oak and chestnut heart

Bodies of lake lay inside

My lungs drowning as I breathe in

Clarity comes to me

I am not here.

For once it came

She no longer held desire

She sent it back

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

You

I desire

The touch

The scent

The eyes

Watching me

I can see you

In that moment

It’s breathtaking and

I’m suffocating

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

needs

I wish you were here

But I’m glad you’re not

I need to need me

It’s just nice feeling seen

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

Why does the world spin

Why do we not feel its rotations

When it feels like our world is

Coming to a stop

Count breaths

1, 2, 3

In three seconds the world has shifted 1,380 metres

In three seconds my world has never felt so still

Let me try again

4, 5, 6

2,760 metres

Why can I not feel it beneath

My calloused toes

When I bury my face in the grass

And crave the taste of earth

When I feel myself fall

And then stop

And all feeling numbs

and I feel myself falling again

Not backwards or sideways,

Or up or down

I’m surrounded

By an empty galaxy

Except the lights are out

The stars eerily quiet

And the planets turn into themselves

Swiftly, they turn away

And just as quick

I’m counting

1,2,3

And I’m back, but the earth it still moves

And I feel so trapped, stuck

Always aware of the projectory

The apparent pathway we hurtle along

But not feeling or seeing or in control

What is control

What is in anything

Who are you

Are you like me

A made up thing

A facade - a persona filled with shallowness

Fabrication of an identity

Where’s my solidness, my strength

I need a pillar I can stand upon

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

note to self

Stop complaining to make conversation

Stop saying you hate

You love

You could literally

Just die

When these words have so much

Depth

But yet you leave them

Empty

Be truthful

Be genuine

It matters

When you give it meaning

Our emotions

Are not our reality

Reframe

Rephrase

Redefine

What this means

Is a subjective state

Rise above

Be better

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

🌱

The skin sticks and I feel myself press

I wish I wish I wish

What do I wish for?

What do I want?

To know you?

Or the fullness I would feel

If you knew me

~billy w

[b3lm00p-blog]

Beads

Lace me through a string

And deem me a charm

Clutch me in a closed hand

And pull feverishly at my band

You’re pulling too hard, give me some slack

You’ve come undone, I’m a pendant cracked

I’m unraveled and my beads are scattered

You’ve closed your eyes, none of it mattered

I am twenty two pieces on the ground

I have no eyes and cannot see where I have gone

I have no hands to touch and can only feel alone

I still have an ebbing spirit

Delicately manifesting

A reality where you were not so jilted

Devoutly giving my energetic deeds

Without hesitation, I’d offer my beads

~billy w