Why do we always insist ourselves to someone who doesn’t want to take risk for us?
Why do we always want to hurt ourselves by hoping that “we can make it”.
But what if we can? What if we are just insisting ourselves to the wrong people? Because I read something that says something like if you meet someone who is right for you, you don’t have to beg for the love you deserve. You don’t have to beg. We all know that we deserve that kind of love, but why are we still attracted to the people who give us less than what we deserve? Are we all masochists, aren’t we?
Why don’t we just go for someone who loves us genuinely? Who is willing to take risks for us. Who is willing to part the ocean just to let us through. Why do we love to fucking settle for less? It hurts to love the person who gives us nothing but penny, yet we still continue to embrace them; even if their skin turns into a metaphor of a torn. Is that how we love? Is that how we really show our love? Loving the person even if it hurts, until you are completely numb.
If this is how love should be. Count me out. I don’t want love anymore. I am always being misunderstood. Or am I being gaslighted? But I once saw my future with that person. And there is still hope left in me that we can make it. Or least I can say that I thought we can make it.
How can I move on from the person who I once loved more than myself? How can I move on from the person who showed me what love should really be like? How can I move on from the person who made me forget about the time when I am with him? How could I forget someone I loved more than anyone?
If this is love, then I don’t want this. I rather not to love. I rather see myself aging alone than being hurt again. I don’t want to experience the pain where you want to cry but you can’t cry but you feel empty inside and you feel that your heart is aching. I don’t want to love if this is love.
