babe.wear @babe-wear-blog - Tumblr Blog

this is the version that I didn’t want to put on Instagram due to the fact that my dad follows me. yes, I bought the shirt because I love Beyoncé and I love Lemonade. but for me (and many others I’m sure), this shirt means a little more. I was in an extremely mentally abusive + controlling relationship for nearly four years. sex was always a hot topic for him to use to degrade me. he would simultaneously praise me and put me down by making comments about our sex life. “God this is amazing” was also “no normal girl is that good, I know you were a nasty slut before me. you still are.” or “you’ve seriously got the best pussy I’ve ever had” was also “don’t think you’re some cool girl. guys didn’t fucking like you because you’re funny, they liked you because they liked fucking you” or “please don’t leave me, I love you, I’ll be better” was also “there’s no way I’m going to let some other guy get to experience that pussy.”  I questioned if my “most bomb pussy” was the only thing he valued about me. I wondered if every other relationship was secretly based on the same thing. was I funny? was I cool? was I smart? was I a good partner? or was I really just some girl who knew how to make them cum?  when I ended our relationship I was scared to have sex too soon with someone else, I was scared that even if they didn’t like me they would stick around for the sex. it took me a while to be okay with the idea of sex and to convince myself that that wasn’t the only thing I had to offer. the longer I was apart from him, the more I realized that yes.. I am funny, cool, smart, a good partner and yes I also have the #MOSTBOMBPUSSY. and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. the man I’m going to marry values every part of me… the good, the bad, the bomb. I’m forever proud of the piece of heaven on earth between my legs and I AINT SORRY. 🍋🍋🍋 I have an immense amount of love for @kaitmvp and everything she’s doing with @babe-wear. major shout out to all my bomb pussy babes. ✨

widows-inparadise-deactivated20

Every portion of my heart feels this post. This is beautiful. Thank you for writing what it’s hard to verbalize.

queenofbees

thank you so much, seriously. it’s always nice to know that others have felt the same things. 💛✨

"I could say a lot about what being queer means too me, but instead I'll say this: thank you to all my friends and family and everyone in between who loves me, supports me and respects my identity. Today, with the help of three amazing people, we filmed the Pride rally and parade for my documentary I'll be working on in the fall. It's a surreal feeling to be working on a project I've only being dreaming about, and I'm so happy to have started it off on Pride." - @danellebri Happy Pride everyone.

#Lgbtq #gay pride #pride2016 #self love #babe #bravery

For my survivor babes.

An intensely powerful and moving share from a very brave customer. TW: abuse, self-harm "Here comes the post I've been putting off for months and dreading... Anyone that knows me in person knows how easy it is for me to fall into anxious or depressive tendencies. Something I've lived with my whole life self-diagnosed as a teenager/Doctor confirmed in 2013 when it was confirmed that I suffered from PTSD, severe depression, general anxiety, and something we still haven't pinpointed. I can't remember a time in my life before the anxiety, I can pinpoint when the depression started...but anxiety has always been with me. In the forms of social or separation it's just always been there like an old friend. I used to stay awake long after bedtime as a small child and freak out and obsess over dying. My dad would go to work and I would freak out until he came home, fearing the worst, that he'd left for good like my mom did when they divorced. I did what all of us have done at one point, I would limit my movements, or my food/water intake, or the amount of words I said out loud fearing the worst reactions from friends and family. I had secluded myself so far into my own head but everyone said I was just shy. in 2013 when it was confirmed that I suffered from PTSD, severe depression, general anxiety, and something we still haven't pinpointed. I can't remember a time in my life before the anxiety, I can pinpoint when the depression started...but anxiety has always been with me. In the forms of social or separation it's just always been there like an old friend. I used to stay awake long after bedtime as a small child and freak out and obsess over dying. My dad would go to work and I would freak out until he came home, fearing the worst, that he'd left for good like my mom did when they divorced. I did what all of us have done at one point, I would limit my movements, or my food/water intake, or the amount of words I said out loud fearing the worst reactions from friends and family. I had secluded myself so far into my own head but everyone said I was just shy. And then one day my uncle started paying attention to me, he would have me spend the night and then when I was asleep would come in and stick his hands down my pants. I was 7 I didn't know what to do, he said he would kill me if I told anyone. That's when the depression started. As his actions got bolder the depression worsened, and I started to cut myself to deal with what was happening. I didn't feel I had anywhere to turn, the seasons were changing, and he was getting increasingly more violent when I would try defying him or putting off his touch. That just made it worse, if I refused to help him "reach his happy place" he would leave hidden bruises and give more threats. When I was in high school it just got worse with my uncle adding in other family members and following me around so I never felt safe. I was young and stupid and never felt like my "no!" was being heard. At 16 my boyfriend raped me. And that same year my uncle decided it would be okay to be with my because it was "just the tip" he was using. I wanted to kill myself, to end this pain, and the scars on my arms went well into the hundreds. The depression and anxiety and self harm got so much worse. I built up walls I refused to bring down for anyone. My friends noticed the difference but I was too ashamed to admit what had happened. Why me? What had I done that was so wrong? For years the flashbacks haunted me and I couldn't find a reason to smile or find enjoyment in anything. I spent so much time crying and feeling numb, I had no idea who I was. I thought I would be dead by 18, but I survived, I made it. In 2013 I started therapy to work through all of these issues and I'm almost 3 years clean of any self-harm. I wasn't sure I could come back from these issues, I felt like maybe I couldn't go on. I thought everyone would think I was disgusting, that nobody would love me, that I was worthless and better off dead. But I went from a hopeless, scared, ashamed 18 year old girl...to a confident, strong, loving, and strong willed 25 year old woman! I did it, I lived through the pain, and I am so proud of myself for that! I may have some mental illnesses but dammit if they don't make me stronger and braver and more beautiful then I don't know what ever would! I wear both of these shirts proudly, and I am so thankful to @kaitmvp for creating @babe.wear so that myself and all my fellow babes could wear their issues with pride and kill the stigma! I am not my mental illnesses, I am sad, I am anxious, and I am so in love with myself, which is just fantastic to the old me! 🌻🌺🌸😊👍🏻💞 #anxiousbabe #sadbabe #selflove #mentalhealth #positivity #improvements "

"When I volunteered to be @kaitmvp's model for @babe.wear I thought to myself "I've never had an issue with alcohol so I don't hold any meaning to this.." but then I remembered my life 5 years ago. I had many addictions that weren't alcohol. Things that are commonly overlooked, and things that my own mother did. When she found out I started smoking cigarettes at 14 she simply invited me to smoke in the garage with her all the time. She laughed when my uncle found out and thought it was funny when he was telling me not to smoke. When I would get my severe migraines and menstrual cramps she'd tell me to take 2 of her max strength tabs that would make me throw up and be high for hours. Before I knew it I wanted that feeling all the time. She would mix cocktails for me with morphine and mystery pills that left me so fucked up for half a day even if I tried to sleep it off. I used to admire this women for raising two girls without their fathers, but when she started to drag me down with her I saw a different side. Especially when it was only me living in the house with her. No one saw her like I did. Because of her encouraging me to take her pills I wanted other people's pills, which two times has lead me to be drugged and roofied. Since I met Brandon he was the one that wanted me to be sober got me clean, it was a struggle but I did it. Now he's my husband. Sometimes I'm still afraid I'd relapse back into that life style if he was no longer in my life but now I have the strength of all these other babes behind me. I never talked about past addiction with people because I was worried they wouldn't look at me the same and it still bothers me I can't remember weeks and months at a time but now I know I can wear it proudly and say I am Sober and better than the person I was lead into being 5 years ago. The only addiction I'm still fighting now is sugar. 🍫🍩🍪🍰🍦#babewear #soberbabe #addiction #progress #supportsystemstrong #prescriptiondrugabuse #nicotinefree #tobaccofree " My girl @sarrahswann representing a very important shirt with her courageous story.

SOBER BABE IS LIVE NOW. www.babewear.bigcartel.com I think going out in a shirt that advertised your sobriety would not only hold you accountable, but also possibly help you avoid getting drinks bought for you without your request and feeling guilted into drinking Even if a group of girls want to buy one together and share or rotate for whoever is DD that night to wear You should be so proud of yourself and wear your sobriety as a badge of honor. #addiction #sobriety #DD #girlsnight

Yesterday I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. It makes a lot of sense for me and although the stigma of such a diagnosis makes it a tough pill to swallow, I’m proud of speaking up for myself and setting my pride aside enough to be my own advocate. Every single time I’ve tried to get help and been put on antidepressants (this time Effexor) it set me into intense manic states. When I was a monster it was the only relief I felt, but I was throwing all caution to the wind. I had no regard for my body, my safety, or the consequences of my actions for both me and the people I love. Then when the shame of being a human so out of character from the human I identify with set in the shame came heavy and hard. That’s because if you’re bipolar and you are prescribed an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer it throws you all the way off. Today was not really easy or fun, but hopefully it’s only going to lead to better days. I’m still me. I’m just learning how to manage what “being me” means more effectively. I always knew my life had been mountains and valleys. I defined it with the valleys, used them as punctuation between periods where I could at least pretend to be ok for long enough stretches of time to appear normal. Now that I’m pushing 30, it’s become more and more clear to me that other people don’t live this way. That something was wrong with having a life that was riddled with that many valleys or emotional breakdowns and identity crises. It’s not like everyone I know has their shit together, but it doesn’t seem as far apart as mine. I started to find myself in situations that I couldn’t use my charisma to get out of or justify it. When it became too consistent to be romantic or poetic and I was able to recognize it as just plain self-destruction, I knew it was something more. When I self medicate with alcohol I will totally black out. It is like to the point where I have charges on my card from bars I don't remember going to, but still have my card so I know it was me, or Bob or Sabe being like, "Wait, you don't remember that?! You were acting fine!" It's to the point where I feel like people don't believe me that so many hours and chunks were just completely gone. I'll meet people and they'll be offended because when I see them again I literally do not remember them. Now part of that is because I'm a tiny person who doesn't eat enough and drinks too much too fast, but she said the losing time to that degree could definitely be just mania due to the bipolar 2, which is why people can't relate or why I can be acting fine and totally not checked in. It's both nice and terrifying to get answers like these. This is not fun or easy to talk about, it's actually pretty humiliating and I'm sure I'll get my fair share of hate about it, but I feel like it's necessary. If I have a platform, I also have a responsibility to use it. And if that's the only good that will ever come of this destructive behavior, so be it. I've never identified as an alcoholic, because I don't feel the NEED to drink, and I don't drink around Scarlet who is here biweekly, but I have always had a drinking problem in the sense that when I drink, it's a problem. This diagnoses is kind of comforting, because it gives me some answers. I also saw it coming right when the seroquel, which I knew was a med for more serious conditions, was the only thing to give me any kind of real and normal relief. But there’s also no cure for it, and that sucks. I have to live with it forever, I’ll always be medicated. This isn’t a “bump in the road” This is just the road. That’s rough to come to terms with. This diagnoses is especially difficult to accept when it comes to my role as a mother. I could never be me without her. I never would have held it together. She's my tape and glue. My ride or die. My everything. She pushes me to be better, every single day. She deserves the best and striving to be that example for her has made me the woman I am today. My daughter, my sister, my friend. It’s a dream to grow up alongside her. And although maybe our relationship is atypical, I do think it’s the dynamic the both of us need. She deserves the respect of being treated like an equal. She's too smart, too intuitive. Denying those things and treating her like a baby is a disservice to us both. She'll never respect me if I don’t recognize her maturity and respect her. Thanks for being patient with me as I sort out all this bs, even though it was never a responsibility you should have ever had to face. You're a warrior, kid. I needed to post this here because some #mombodbabes are also #anxious and #sadbabes and it's ok to have more than one facet to your personality. It is ok to admit you have vices even though you've given birth. Kids are way more forgiving and understanding than people give them credit for. This is a topic I've talked about SO MUCH with my therapists because of all the guilt I carry about juggling motherhood and mental illness. It's only when I feel suicidal that they talk about how awful and selfish that would be and how much that screws up the kid's entire lives and about the adults they get in there who have lost parents to suicide and never get over it. If you're fighting and you're trying, they can tell. They value that.

#Parenting #bipolar2 #mental health #mdd #gad #seroquel #Effexor XR #motherhood #stigma

I've been thinking about writing this, about how to write it, about how much truth to tell, about who I might hurt by telling it, for weeks now. Calling myself a survivor and a babe are not things I take lightly. Seeing myself as those things took years. There have been countless times where I didn't think I would survive, where I thought either my mind or my body was going to give up. And even more times when I saw myself as absolute filth, the opposite of a babe. But here goes: I was sexually abused as a child, raped as a teenager, sexually assaulted twice as an adult. This was done by men I trusted, men I knew. This is my reality, but moments so shameful, so hurtful to other people in my life, that to talk about them made me feel like I was committing a crime myself. It took a long time to feel ownership of my body, my sexuality. But I SURVIVED. I was diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder in junior high, struggled through years of dehabilitating panic attacks, where I'd be huddled in a corner, rocking, my knees to my chest, thinking I was going to die. My parents had to stay home, come back from outings, pick me up places because I was gone. In college I had a nervous breakdown while overseas, had to be shipped home and psychoanalyzed, was diagnosed with PTSD and force fed medications, which I reacted so badly to my family was hours away from institutionalizing me. My boyfriend at the time watched terrified; I blamed myself. My abuse and anxiety are forever linked, and until I processed one I couldn't find relief from the other. I'm still plagued with irrational fears, control issues, depression, but I SURVIVED. In high school, my best friend killed herself the day before graduation. Her last name was right after mine in the alphabet, we were supposed to stand next to each other. But she wasn't there. She'd been gone a long time, lost in her own depression, and though I'd tried to help, I failed. As I got older, I lost more friends, to accidents, to overdoses, to suicide. Every time, I tried to help, I shared my own pain and shame, I taught them tricks I'd learned from my therapists. And always, I blamed myself. But I also latched on even tighter to those they left behind, loved them deeper, and together we SURVIVED. When I was 21, I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease. I've undergone two surgeries, countless medicines, at least 10+ hospital stays. Over the years I've yo-yoed and gained 77 lbs on the prednisone steroids. Deep purple and red stretch marks have appeared across my belly, which is already riddled with scars from the laser surgery I had. My hair has fallen out, my eyes have gone bad, my joints ache and I always know where a bathroom is. I barely recognize myself in the mirror most days. I take selfies in good lighting or the right angle hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl I was before. I know she's there, fighting to be seen. They've threatened three times to cut out sections of my intestine, and three times my body, my steel reserve has gotten rid of the infections. I'm fighting a losing battle every day, but every day I put a smile on my face and I continue to fight. Everyday I SURVIVE. I've been stabbed in the back by the closest of friends, I've been lied about and abandoned, I've been put down and shamed, I've been ridiculed and laughed at. People think they know why I am the way I am, but they don't. And still I SURVIVE. I do not care if you love me, if you think I'm beautiful, if you understand me. From the beginning it has always been just me. I had to love me, I had to think I was beautiful, I had to understand myself. I HAD TO SURVIVE. 💜💪🏼❤️ #survivorbabe #babewear

#Crohn's disease #abuse #survivor #ptsd #babe #fighter

"When @kaitmvp first begun @babe.wear I knew i had to have one of these shirts I figured it would be a physical appearance one and then Anxious Babe got posted and I though it was fitting I fought with the idea "did I really want to wear this? Advertise this?" But YES, If the last few years have taught me anything it's that there is power in your words and letting others know they are not alone. Shortly after moving to AVL I got out of an incredibly abusive relationship and have been trying to strengthen myself since. Anxiety has affected me for long as i can remember but that relationship and the PTSD from it certainly has exaggerated all the ways anxiety was already affecting my social life, my horrible relationship with my body and the relationships I had with others. I do my best fighting it with therapy,yoga, vitamins and supplements and keeping a great support system around me including the angel that purchased this for me @caramichele_ but sometimes it attacks me and leaves me a mess. Did you know 1 in 4 Americans live with mental illness? It shouldn't be such a taboo topic." - @candycegreens I back this 100% Thank you for sharing your story and doing your part to break down the stigma. That's powerful work. For more information about the stigma surrounding mental health: http://counseling.online.wfu.edu/resources/articles/are-mental-health-stigmas-changing/

“For those of you who have known me for any amount of time, whether in person or via social media, I think it’s pretty clear from the get go that I’m an anxious person. Recently, my seemingly constant battle with anxiety has only gotten worse, as the days wind down to me departing my home state and moving to Oregon. I’m leaving tomorrow, and I’ve basically been in almost constant panic mode for the two months that have led up to the move (not that I’ve ever been particularly calm).

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression just over two years ago, and even though it’s been such an extended period of time since my diagnosis I still face nearly constant fear about seeking treatment. I think I’ve chosen not to, in part, because I’m more than aware that there is an unwavering stigma surrounding mental health, but also before a few years ago mental health wasn’t being talked about, and nobody wants to feel othered and alone when you’ve been hit with such an unfamiliar diagnosis.

For years now, I’ve been a part of a wonderful community of women, including the babe.wear community, who have shared all too common stories of surviving the cycles of domestic abuse, mental illness, and family issues. But still, I’ve found myself struggling with my own diagnosis, wondering if the symptoms of anxiety and depression are things I’m going to continue to battle with my whole life. Or if, even with therapy, counseling, or prescription treatment, I won’t get better. I joke around sometimes that only I would be this anxious about having anxiety.

After a recent trip to see one of my favorite artists (hail Beyonce) I came home and had a difficult conversation with one of my best friends, where it became apparent that both of us recognized a drastic deterioration in my mental health. Enough so that I’ve finally decided to seek treatment. In less than a day I’ll be leaving the home I’ve had for 24 years for a fresh start in a place I love, and it’s about time that my brain be offered a fresh start as well. “ - Danika Thank you for sharing your story. I know it will resonate with a lot of people who are in the same boat, it took me years to find help because, surprise, I was TOO ANXIOUS. Good luck with your move and your journey to find health and stability. All of my love.

#mental health #stigma #anxiety #babewear #small business #GAD #depression #whatmydepressionlookslike

" #nofilter #noanything photo to show you something that carries a lot of personal progress for me. I've been delaying this post in hopes of getting a nice shot of this @babe.wear shirt clean & starchy out in the sunshine. Instead, here it is in its most accurate setting. This shirt is for when I don't want to be in my own pictures. It's for tangled hair in my eyes. It's for wearing 3 days in a row until the sleeves are scrunchy & it's peppered w/ dog hair. It's for every time I stare at my t shirt drawer just wishing someone would pick one out for me because I don't feel capable of doing it for myself. This shirt is part of a line designed to acknowledge & own both your "weaknesses" as you see them AND your power as equally part of who you are. Thanks @kaitmvp for creating this line and owning YOUR power and potential while being so open & honest about those weaknesses. Following this #bossbabe over the internet for 7(!) freaking years has shown me it can be done after showing me first that mental health is not make believe, & I have just as much right to claim stake in that as anyone else. I have the right to acknowledge what's going on in my body. @babe.wear helps me do that. Check it out and maybe find yourself some empowerment or pass it along. Thanks largely in part to @kaitmvp & this movement, I had my first conversation w/ a dr yesterday about my mental health. Owning a t shirt won't answer my questions for me, but putting a name to those questions was the first step. Now, before, and going forward looking for those answers—I am a babe and I am a #sadbabe. #babewear #25 #selflove #selfcare #growthmindset #mentalhealth #womenempoweringwomen #mentalhealthisnotmakebelieve " - @warxpaint being vulnerable and brave and everything I could ever hope for in a @babe.wear advocate 💕

Monday Motivation! 💪🏼 All orders ship tomorrow! (Including the MBP preorders 😁) Can't wait to see you guys in your shirts, owning it. Also if your profile is private I would LOVE to still feature your story and picture on this feed, so email me both at [email protected]

"living with OCD/anxiety has been nightmarish and hard and impossible to explain, but everyday I learn more about myself and my illness, and how to handle and accept it. I thank @kaitmvp for creating @babe.wear and bringing all of us self-criticizing girls together to EMBRACE our qualities that we're self-conscious about instead of picking at them. love to all my anxious babes and every other babe out there. we slay 💘" - @harperleeanderson Thanks for the kind words, but honestly without my badass and brave customer base, this community wouldn't exist. I also just wanted to take a second to talk about how frustrating it can be to not KNOW your specific diagnosis. Right now I've been diagnosed with agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder. Through therapy they're realizing maybe it's more bipolar 2 or some OCD. And it's just HARD. It's all of these hard pills to swallow and it's both confusing and frustrating to not know what to categorize yourself as. And I know we shouldn't let our mental illnesses define us anyway, but the healing process can be rough. To be completely honest, sometimes healing hurts. Dropping the denial you've been living in has a sting. I stand for all my babes who are a work in progress. You are not alone. #mentalhealth #anxiety #stigma #babe

Happy Friday! Pretty sure I did some bad math and am going to end up with about 9 extra MBP shirts, so if you missed preorders, you may not be out of luck! I'll post the rest for sale once the others are packaged and ready to go and once they're gone, that's it! You may want to turn on post notifications, last time they went fast. Expect domestic deliveries within the next week and a half, internationals will be shipped at the same time, but I can't give you a timeline of arrival. Sober Babe is launching next week!

Here is a photo of my daughter that her stepmother sent me because she thought she looked like me in it. I took it as a compliment. I think she looks like a warrior. I am beyond grateful that my 8 year old daughter is growing up in a community where women are capable of not only accepting, but also embracing and celebrating their "flaws" I am so proud to be raising a fighter among this community of females who lead by examples in vulnerability and bravery. I just need to take a second to thank all of my customers again for playing a part in trying to change the way we approach body image and the stigma that comes along with it. We read these stories together. Thank you for showing her she doesn't have to fight alone. She sees this army. She helps me do inventory. She understands that there are many women out there who simply own it. She is growing up in a world where that is the rule, not the exception, and that's on you guys. Thank you. 💛 #gratitude #feminism #motherhoodrising #babewear

#gratitude #babewear #motherhoodrising #feminism

"Preface: I feel my story transcends more than that of having a mom bod. I’d bear a Venn diagram of mom bod, anxious, flat, big nosed, but most importantly: SURVIVOR; with BABE, being the common overlap, if it existed. // I was 22 ½ yrs old when I first became pregnant. 22 ½, completely uncaring about how reckless I had been living, pregnant and scared shitless. I cussed out the nurse who warmly informed me that my assumed acid reflux was actually a side effect of me being pregnant. However, when I called my partner (who I’d only been with for about a year, on-and-off) to inform him of the surprise, he lovingly said “I guess we’re having a baby,” and my worries temporarily melted away. // April 2008, I gave birth to my first child and angel, Ramona. Come summer 2008, I found myself lost, depressed & trying to tell myself I wasn’t fighting a complete identity crisis/borderline eating disorder. I’m barely 5’2” and dropped to 98 lbs. I’d always been thin, but always weighing 110-115. I became infatuated w/ trying to reinvent myself, obsessed with fashion blogs, and tried to convince myself I could live off Special K cereals + endless cups of black coffee. I was utterly suffering from post-partum depression yet trying to ignore it. // FFWD 2015, I’m still with Ramona’s dad, we’re still madly in love and decided to actively try for another baby. December 2015, we welcomed into this world a gorgeous baby boy, Jack. We were elated as a new family of 4. // February 2016 & I’d become hyper aware that I’m suffering from post-partum anxiety. Instead of ignoring it, I actually seek help and am placed on Zoloft. Zoloft + living a healthy, active lifestyle, has placed me mentally & physically in the best shape of my life. I still have an occasional episode, but I’ve learned to embrace them and let them pass; therefore, rendering me a survivor, who is big nosed, flat chested, anxious, and rocking a MOM BOD LIKE A MOTHERINFUCKIN’ BABE. Thanks, @babe.wear for making an inspiring & unapologetic clothing line. #mombodbabe #babewear " I loved this emotional share from @_martha_dumptruck 💗 #motherhoodrising #mydepressionlookslike #selflove #motherbood #bodypositivity

#mydepressionlookslike #bodypositivity #motherhoodrising #selflove #babewear #mombodbabe #motherbood

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