ash?

16 // anemoia coming soon

[thebigblackwolfe]

@Straight people there’s less than 4 months left in the year, it’s time for you to grow up and get on that Gay shit!!! You have until February 2018 to at LEAST be bicurious or you WILL be fined!!!

[commiegf]

i need a gf who will go ufo hunting with me

[commiegf]

oh but she gotta hold my hand the whole time coz im scared of the dark

[systemes]

me, packing: ok i got everything :)

my brain: you forgot something you forgot something you forgot something you forgot somethi

[its-ok-to-smile]

me: What did I forget my brain: not telling

[hungwy]

*spins my clothes in a wet metal tube then bakes them in a different metal tube to undo the wetness*

[friskafriskito]

in literature this is called defamiliarization so congrats this post is officially a literary masterpiece  

[parakavka]

[parakavka]

#he has a sock !!!!!

[seravph]

tumblr fourth of july in 2012: America is the best!!!!!!! hahaha @ all you non american nerds :))))))

tumblr fourth of july in 2017: 

[catchomps]

[fuggu]

he dropped his eyes

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

PUT THOSE EYEBALLS BACK IN YOUR HEAD, SON

[turnipfritters]

remember how malia obama never tweeted incriminating emails of herself colluding with foreign powers. i miss that.

[ingtarwolf-deactivated20181002]

No she just smoked weed while being guarded by federal agents. But please. Keep acting like either side has a right to the moral high ground.

[algo-hermoso]

You’re really fucking stupid if you think a teenager smoking weed is comparable to a grown adult colluding with foreign powers to shift the election.

[joshpeck]

my former english teacher just posted this on facebook omg

[aconissa]

this is the kind of hard-hitting news we need more of

[jayce]

[thebootydiaries]

someone: *shows me the slightest sign of affection*

me: i would die for u

[averagefairy]

i love when people ask me “what are you anxious about” like…….about??? you think this is based on reason? rationality? never heard of that

[babybluebutt]

My Brain: Eat

Me: Okay, what should we make?

My Brain: No make!!! Only eat.

[robertdeniro]

[eiriee]

This is like a shot of a woman running where the camera focuses on her cleavage. Except it’s a man, not a woman. And a pug, not boobs.

[babybluebutt]

Mom: Talk to me about your problems

Me: I'm just stressed out

Mom: YOU'RE stressed out??! I SPEND ALL DAY ON MY FEET COOKING AND CLEANING AND NOBODY DOES CRAP IN THISE HOUSE EXCEPT FOR ME, and YOU'RE stressed out? You don't have any real problems you're a baby.

[swarnpert]

snort xanax in one nostril and adderall in the other nostril and let god sort out the rest