yeet me off a cliff

[babybluustarker]

Peter: merry Christmas Mr. Stark! It's time to open gifts!!

Tony: okay pete. How about you open this one first ;)

Pete: *crawling over giggling* okay Mr. Stark!

Peter opens the box and looks inside blushing

Tony: well what do you think?

Peter: Is t-t-that what I t-think that is?

Tony: it's my dick in a box yes

Peter: What a great gift ;) how about we go play

[babybluustarker]

In the tower:

Peter (walking around in a crop top and booty shorts): Yeah, your mustache tickles my nut sack, baby *hums for a few more*

Tony: ....

Peter (completely unaware): He spreads my cheeks, and he makes me scream. He's my number one daddy, gotta make him cream inside of me.

Tony: ..... uh pete?

Peter: oh! Hey Mr. Stark!

Tony: the song?

Peter: *blushes* y-y-yessir?

Tony: *smirks* "gonna make me cream"?

Peter: *blushes but runs over to Tony and gets dragged to the bed room*

[babybluustarker]

Guys! I made a discord!! Add me bluuu#5142

[babybluustarker]

This is hands down Peter and Tony

[babybluustarker]

Hey!! This isnt starker related but please please please sign this petition

http://chng.it/mKKKmRf5V4

Sign the Petition

Remove Amber Heard from Aquaman 2

[whenstarkerwillbecanon-deactiva]

No one:

Peter Parker: I have to seduce Mr.Stark or I will die.

[puppypeter]

Also I was thinking of Peter’s asshole ex-boyfriend who keeps bothering him showed up again so Peter sneaks up to Tony where he’s at the bar counter with Pepper/Happy having drinks and he slides an arm around Tony’s waist and “please just act like we’re together please”

[cagestark]

About this: heavily hinted abuse between past Spiderio, slut-shaming. xo

-

Tony is on his third whiskey neat, just beginning to enjoy the soft buzz and the warmth of Pepper and Happy’s presence. It feels like there is a soap bubble around them, floaty and incandescent, all tensions from the work-week sapped from their blood and left on the outside, unable to touch them. Then a cold hand falls delicately on his elbow and the bubble pops. 

“My name is Peter,” a softly masculine voice whispers into his ear. “I’m not safe right now. Please pretend to be my boyfriend.” 

Keep reading

[charonsdescent]

anyways i had this incredible idea just now of like peter giving tony head or something and then one of them getting a phone call and tony fucking answers it, and peter like the brat he is, essentially plays a game to get tony as worked up as possible to the point where tony’s super casual on the phone and it’s just: “yeah that sounds fi-ine, so tomorr-oh-works” and then he gets off the phone and just fucking glares at peter, who gives him that real innocent smile and just—

[babybluustarker]

Peter: Owls and zebras are technically the same thing.

Tony: Pete, you wanna elaborate that a little?

Peter: NeGaTiVe Mr.StArK

[winterironspiderling]

Peter: Happy Father’s Day

Tony:

Peter: …Daddy…

Tony:

[bitchybreadpainter-deactivated2]

The anonymous button is not for hate messages and death threats! It’s for confessing your love and asking stupid questions!

[babybluustarker]

Okay but like the whole team is on a mission and they just hear Peter singing Fergaliscious under his breath and then suddenly one by one each avenger joins in until they are almost caught because they were bopping to Fergie

[babybluustarker]

Peter to Ned: how do I ask him to slam me up against the wall and make out with me???

Ned: just go up and be like "oh hey mister stark please kiss me up against the wall"

Peter: I can't do that??????

Tony: can't do what pete?

Peter: nOtHiNg

Ned: he wants to make out with you

Peter: wAiT nEd HoW cOuLd YoU bEtRaY mE??? i WiLl JuSt Go HiDe In A hOlE nOw

Tony: sure tesoro all you had to do was ask ;)

[babybluustarker]

Steve: *kills a spider in front of the whole team*

Tony & Nat: you done fucked up Steve.

Peter: GASP HOW COULD YOU KILL A SPIDER WHAT THE FRICK STEVEN. THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! 😭😟🥺

[babybluustarker]

Steve looking at Tony: Damn, what an angel *heart eyes*

Peter filled with angry gay rage: what the frick frack patty wack did you just say about my man??? I'll frick you up!!! 😤

Tony slowly getting turned on by an angry Peter : you tell 'em Pete

[babybluustarker]

Peter: wHy CaN't DiNoSaUrS cLaP??

Ned: because their arms are too sh--

Mj: because they are dead.

Peter: ThAt'S sO sAd, KaReN pLaY dEsPaCiTo

[babybluustarker]

Peter after being shot: Hit or miss... I guess they never miss, huh?

Cap: Please for the love of everything shoot him again.

Tony: GASP how dare you say that about my baby??????

Peter: YeAh. HoW dArE yOu SaY tHaT aBoUt Me StEvEn. tHiS iS wHy MoM dOeSn'T fUcKiNg LoVe YoU.

Cap: actually shoot me instead so I never have to hear that again.