Number 1 rule, make some plans, make several plans, if one doesn't work out u gotta have a back up just in case. I wasn't fully ready to leave my house but I knew that I had to for my safety and sanity. Both my older siblings had run away from home but unlike them I was still underage when I realized I couldn't take it anymore. It's been years and there were so many things I could have done better and so many things I wish I knew. Even today I still get nightmares about being in that house again or being out in the city and suddenly being found by my parents. Life got better though. I'm still depressed, still anxious, but I've got a dog, I'm living in a house with a fridge full of food and I'm not scared for my life.
- how are u leaving the house? The bedroom I stayed at had an emergency fire exit that led into the backyard, unfortunately the garden gate had a chain on so I legit had to climb a pointy fence which took me several tries and honestly i felt terrified id get caught by my parents the entire time, in fact I was caught by the maid and had to spend 3 minutes begging her to pretend she saw nothing bfor sprinting across the garden and hoping my family didn't look out into the garden from the the dining table
Take note of ur family's schedule, work hours, church hours if that's their thing. Do they have regular brunch or parties or even grocery runs? Take note of when they leave and when they come back. How do u leave the city? Bus? Taxi? Pay in cash only and hide ur face and keep ur head down, but walk with confidence. It's those that look nervous that are the ones who look suspicious. Best case scenario, u leave when they are not there, with a ride ready, shelter planned and freedom achieved.
Also leave a note that states u are running away and have not been kidnapped. Less chances of police coming after you. Especially if u are over 16.
- what are you bringing? I spent months watching packing videos, like 2 week travel packing vlogs, capsule wardrobe planning, camping/backpacking tips, what to pack in my emergency kit vids stuff like that gave tips without making it obvious that I wanted to leave home.
Take note of ur valuables, like laptops, jewelry, money and if possible slowly take them out of the house and to someplace safe like a trusted friend's place or even just a secret tiny rented storage locker u can access immediately once your out. Pack ur bags with enuff clothes to last 2 weeks and make sure u can run and carry them with no difficulty. Also stuff like social security, passports, school ids, find them, pack them and hide them
I left with 2 backpacks, 1st one was filled with 2 weeks worth of clothes (check out the 54321 packing method), mostly dark and neutral colors that I cud easily layer and mix and match with no recognizable prints or patterns, 2 pairs shoes (one of which I wore) and a pack of medication (I suffer from chronic illness) and a bag of travel sized toiletries. 2nd one had my phone, charger and earphones, laptop and charger, important documents like my passport and medical prescriptions and some sentimental items like a stuff toy I loved and a polaroid of my siblings.
- Communications. Keep a secret sim card, 2nd hand phone or even a burner cell so that your family can't track you down thru that and make sure to remove all access and log ins from other computers or devices. If u have social media, either delete it or make a new one that is private and send ur info to ur trusted PPL before deleting everything else.
Know who to trust, will that person rat you out to ur family even just accidentally? It may take months before u can safely message ur favorite cousin without fear or worry. Are u prepared for that. As soon as I knew I wanted to leave I told my older siblings and within 20 mins a friend of theirs was parked down the street waiting for me to run down the road. Spent an hour or so after that crying in their car while parked at a playground that I've rarely been to before they felt it safe for me to be brought to their house.
- Learn some life skills. Do u kno how to do ur own laundry from the bathroom sink? Can you sew a rip in ur shirt or pants? Can u budget a weeks worth of expenses with just only $50? Figure out how to survive meals straight from 7/11 till u can be more stable. If u can, learn to cook and especially learn to meal prep.
Prepping just a weeks worth batch of tuna/chicken mayo sandwiches in one night is cheaper than eating McDonald's every night and much easier than learning how to meal prep multiple meals for 1 month. Tho there was one point in the early parts where I just ate fried rice for 2 months straight till I learned new tips, tricks and recipes.
- Money? Save some money, find a job even part time. Walk a dog, babysit some cousins, draw NSFW furry art. Do whatever it is u need to do but kno ur boundaries and be careful on where u hide ur money. There's an online bank in my country that only needs 1 real ID to open an account so that's what I did. If u can't do that or have a trusted friend who can open an account for you, then make sure to distribute ur money throughout your stuff and that there are definitely creative ways to hide them, like in an empty chip bag, in a pair of socks, an old copy of Percy Jackson.
I'd save up most of my school allowance and only spent like $2 a week, the rest went into that account which I wud fill up at a 7/11 near my school. I also learned macrame and sold pouches, wristlets and friendship bracelets to classmates, friends, even family members. My best friend sold crochet and cookies.
Ur gonna suffer a bit while saving up but the main point is to save money now so u can be safe later. Pretty sure I lost around 8 kg that year cuz I only ate once a day (usually a street burger).
- Shelter. Is there a friend's place you can stay at. A relative who will not tell ur family about you living there with them. A vacation home several cities away that no one visits unless it's just that one specific holiday. A pod hotel or even a bedshare dorm. Research your options.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. If ur country has a lot of national parks you can stay at for free maybe u can borrow or thrift some camping supplies and do that. Keep ur options open but be ready to do some gross shit to keep yourself safe. However if u don't feel comfortable or safe where u end up, leave immediately. Trust ur instincts.
Also learn some self defense, get some lessons if u can, even if it's just some watching vids on YouTube. I used to keep a pair of scissors under my pillow, a whistle on all my bags and lanyards and this really small but very bright flashlight that could easily blind someone for a few seconds. Sometimes I'll still do those things whenever I move to a new place.
- Change up your look. Once you're out and have some money, cut/dye ur hair, go thrift shopping for some clothes you don't usually wear, be it in the style, color or even size. Learn how to use make up to change ur face shape. It might feel a bit much (especially if ur starting out with nothing) but it can make u feel just a lil bit safer knowing you aren't as recognizable by ur parents or old acquaintances. Also create a fake name or even just a main nickname to go by. Mine is based on my middle name so even tho it's not legally my first name all the PPL I'm close to now call me by it so even if the off chance my parents know them somehow they won't actively think oh it's their runaway child they're talking abt.
!!!!Additionally, some small things that made life a lil easier but are kinda sketchy. Several cafes will let you charge your devices while inside. Ive once hunkered down in a crowded Starbucks with a table that had someone else's half empty drink and untouched free donut (that I ate because really it's a free donut) and charged at a nearby outlet my phone, laptop, and powerbanks for hours. Ask if fastfood restaurants will give u a cup of service water, extra sauce packets, or tell you where the bathroom is. Sometimes just act with confidence and they won't check to see if you're actually a paying customer. If u decide to "borrow" items, walk with confidence, wear a mix of both baggy and tight clothing and be aware of cameras. Genuinely I accidentally walked into a convenience store while distracted by my phone and grabbed a bag of chips and a drink and walked out without paying and only realized it once I was in a whole other building!!!!!
Also for the og poster of this, make sure that if u do decide to go stay with that friend of urs that a) u feel comfortable and safe with them, b) that they won't surrender u to ur parents or the police and c) that ur parents won't immediately think of them when wondering where u ran away to.
Good luck and hopefully this helps u and other people be safe. Might do some more posts if I think of stuff.
