Razzle Dazzle Dorito

Connor, 22, He/him, panromantic, polyamorous, ftm. Kellin Quinn’s voice is still higher than my grades. I told George Salazar that he looked like a lesbian cartoonist and he didn’t disagree with me.

[lotstradamus]

hello picky judgemental bitch. i adore your fic taste. could i bother you for a drop of shanepussy?????????

begging everyone to address all asks like this going forward

SHANEPUSSY FOR THE MASSES

trans shane:

Wild Geese by LavenderProse

this is a man's man's man's world by thermocline

close your eyes until the logic's gone by shakebabyshake (wip)

magical pussy acquisition:

many happy returns by probablylily

toast your dilemma, baby by embodied (wip)

give me what i want when i'm ready by creamsicle_melt

toil and trouble by thathastu

like a virgin by eleadore

and bonus ilyapussy for the pussy lovers

[hollzy-baby]

They’re at the cottage and it’s near the end of the summer, Shane’s skin has gone golden and Ilya tackles him to their bed and holds Shane’s arms over his head and very sternly says, “Mr. Hollander, you have been withholding something from me?” And Shane laughs and shakes his head and Ilya tears off his shirt and his little shorts and settles in between his legs and says “You have freckles I have not kissed yet, very serious problem, must have emergency freckle audit” and takes his toll for the very serious infraction of unkissed unknown Shane freckles

[penandinkprincess]

in love with ilya's facial expression when he's disagreeing with the timeline because he's looking at YUNA when he starts talking like

"no, no, he is wrong. one second. let me get him together. i can't believe he is embarassing me like this in front of my future mother-in-law. please hold."

[attheendhello]

part two of sometimes tiktok comments ARE funny

[gaynehollander]

When your evil bisexual roommate/captain who's been fluctuating wildly between risk of murder and suicide for the past few weeks tells you to tell people you're going out and finding a club because you're in fucking Montreal and he needs to get laid, you say "on it", you do as you're told, and then you shut up.

[prettyboyilyarozanov]

idk if this has been discussed but like im just imagining ilya, still half asleep and dazed, taking a pic of his morning wood. sending it to shane, or so he thinks. he’s all excited because it’s such a nice boner, all flushed and veiny and hard as a damn rock. he can’t wait for his boyfriend to absolutely lose his damn mind over it.

then his phone starts blowing up with the centaurs’ group chat.

ilya is very confused because usually the group chat is somewhat dead on days off. game days is when it’s most active, so why is it blowing the hell up on an off day?

he opens the chat and sees bood, texting eggplant & tongue emojis. evan is sending a mind blown emoji. troy is saying, “oh…well. that’s one way to start the morning, ig.” wyatt is like, “oh. man, did you mean to send this to shane??? should i pretend i didn’t see that?” harris (yes, they included him too) just says, “see, I knew it!!! I fucking knew it!!! you all owe me $100.” luca is just dead silent.

and then there’s shane, who just sends, “it is 8:30 in the morning, ilya. 🙄😐” and ilya, who should be mortified but actually isn’t, just says: “yes. and you are not here. see the problem?”

shane just like, “yeah, i went out for a run. can you wait like an hour?” and ilya just like “no. home. now.”

needless to say, shane is going home right away.

[penandinkprincess]

appreciation post for shane's little posing moment after ilya pulls out and gets out of bed after their first time together because it's SO cute

ilya says he's going to shower, pulls out, and gets out of bed, and shane has this VERY brief flustered little moment of trying to figure out how to lay and where to put his hands now

ostensibly so he can continue looking Very Sexy And Attractive for ilya's benefit

and he WATCHES ilya leave the room and ONLY THEN does he relax and put his arm over his face with his cute lil satisfied smile

i just find it very endearing that even after LITERALLY JUST HAVING SEX TOGETHER, shane still has a crush on ilya and is trying to maximize how cute and attractive he looks even for the like. 1.4 seconds here in which ilya could potentially turn around and see him.

[plaguedoves]

It will just be a doodle, a little shitpost, I always tell myself. And then its 4 hours later

Vers. Without text below because I spent way too long on this

[ratsvalley]

“I depend on you”

Okay that’s too cute. Cause it turns out that this image is actually related to my VILLAIN HYDRA AU lmaooo

One of my friends gave me the idea of Hydra taking the place of Slick… and I hate to admit it works SOOO MUCH.

EXPLANATIONS UNDER THE CUT

I feeel like this could work cause:

-Electra and Hydra would work so well together since they’re BOTH hyped up to be trains of the future

-The idea of hydrogen fuel actually being unethically sourced could fit with an Electra narrative about mass production, where there’s more emphasis on creating content to profit off of rather than actually checking on the quality of what’s being made and HOW it truly effects the environment

-ALSO the idea that Hydrogen is constantly preaching about climate change and how much BETTER he is for the environment, when the cruel reality is that he isn’t much better at all.

Could be a commentary on how companies will often use campaigns like that to make themselves look good in the long run hence showing kids that sometimes you HAVE to do your own research

[acoldghostlypresence]

[shaneposting]

i’m genuinely so glad you’re all having fun with the whole ‘first husbands of hockey on red carpet’ thing with the hudcon oscars photos but the idea of shane hollander turning up to an Event with his nips out is cracking me up. people would stage an intervention. they would think he was doing a strange cry for help. an ambulance would be called

[actuallysara]

Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie at the Vanity Fair Oscars after party, Los Angeles

[misspelled-italian]

I find it so funny that people are shocked Shane “the cowboy” Hollander can take Ilya’s 9 so easily their first time. Like my friends, Shane “I have to be good at everything” Hollander said he has a d*ldo and then didn’t see Ilya for 2 YEARS! You bet he was using that thing constantly to be ready and good for Ilya’s real 9.

Of course Shane “I prefer to be the hole than the peg” Hollander can ride the horse so good. He’s been studying, practicing, and honestly enjoys it SO MUCH he would do it immediately.

[galecstatic]

hello so is this not crazy to yall at all LIKE AT ALL

[barbie-verse]

I love this man sm

[fuckyoucanada]

Heated rivalry canon au where either after Shane first comes out to the team or after his relationship with a Ilya gets outed, he gets so tired of the team he put his blood and sweat and tears into hating him that he reaches a breaking point and pulls a Patrick Roy style step off the ice and point blank “I’ve just played my last game with the Metros/Voyageurs”

[karmacharmeleon18]

"Hudson is a bad actor!" Shane is so repressed and stoic while Hudson makes 75 expressions a second and is the life of the party and the talk of the town wherever he goes, explain that

Stay perplexed, papi, I hope you never figure anything out ever