mari

side blog, documenting my daily struggle with bpd, compulsive lying, autism, and depression

[baddogmari]

they’ll tell you “nothing lasts forever” and you want to believe its just a silly saying, but its reality, and it sucks so much. so so much

[baddogmari]

the constant sick and looming feeling of knowing you’re a bad person and nothing you can do will change that perception of you

[baddogmari]

the holidays always bring out a certain overstimulation and split in me that the people in my family do not appreciate

[baddogmari]

i just want to scream and cry until my throat goes raw and my vocal cords break

[baddogmari]

all we do is cycle, and yet i still haven’t left. can’t you see that

[baddogmari]

thank you for 200 followers ❤️

[baddogmari]

perhaps slamming my head into a block of concrete will fix me

[baddogmari]

i think i should just stop trusting people

[baddogmari]

why do i keep telling lies to myself, saying this one won’t be like the others. this one won’t leave. this will be different. its always the same

[baddogmari]

i want to start my life over

[baddogmari]

things are really, really bad again. can you tell?

[baddogmari]

when you feel like you’re starting to get better and suddenly the impending doom sets in again and you know the cycle is about to repeat

[baddogmari]

on a lighter note of this account, thank you for 100 followers and thank you for liking my posts. this account is my own little secret for my bpd rants and i didn’t think many people would take notice of it

[baddogmari]

i just want to stop feeling like a bad person for literally everything

[baddogmari]

doing bad again. fork found in kitchen

[baddogmari]

literally how it feels to split and come back to the people you hurt mid-split like nothing happened

[baddogmari]

who up questioning why god let them be born with the knowledge that they’d be completely fucked up and mentally unwell