Mama J's Corner

My space in the world to write about my life, share my highs and lows,and regurgitate what inspires, amuses, or angers me.

[badmamaj-blog]

Week One - Vegan Cleanse

I survived week one, ya'll! I wasn't nearly as grumpy as I was the first time around, though I admit I *almost* cried when my husband bought fried chicken home 🍗😱 I did cheat once, by getting whipped cream with my favourite blended beverage. I felt so disappointed in myself I didn't even think about cheating for the rest of the week. I did eat out, and manages to stick to my vegan plan. I had yam tempura roll, avocado roll, and tofu curries made with coconut milk. Results? I'm down 5 pounds. Well, 4.9 really, but I'm giving my self that 0.1 as a bonus 😉

[badmamaj-blog]

Life Change, Take 2!

Several years ago I went on a lifestyle change with the aid of a naturopath, and commenced a "primarily plant based whole foods" diet. Primarily should be strongly emphasized, because I am permitted 9-ounces of animal based protein a week. Then I suffered a miscarriage, which resulted in me eating and spending my feelings. Roughly $2,000, 3 years, and 30 pounds later, I am ready to go back. Today is day 1. The first week is rough as we go vegan for a week. Nothing makes 3-ounces of meat feel like a treat quite like going vegan! Today I'm also eligible for a free Starbucks drink. And I have 3/4 of a chocolate cake, left overs for church's chicken, and Easter cupcakes and cookies at home. All of which I can't eat. Life is going to be hard this week

[badmamaj-blog]

Out of the Fire and Into the Frying Pan

You know you're unhappy with your current job when there is another opportunity with a blacklist person, an undesirable, a known difficult, and you're like 🙋🏻 sign me up!

[badmamaj-blog]

Jax never took to a stuffed animal or blanket as a security item; that honour went to my arm. My right arm, to be exact.

Mikey, on the other hand, can’t live without his Wubbanub. At least I don’t think he can. I’m too scared to find out! He’s technically older than recommended age for the product, but he is attached, and in case you forgot I went the “sleep at all costs” route with Mikey.

In the days after he was born I paid an unreasonable amount of money for one of those teeny blankets with a stuffed animal's head attached. Mikey couldn’t care less about that blanket. The wubbanub entered our life when I was tired of sleeping with one hand in the bassinet to help Mikey when the pacifier slipped out. I went online to commiserate with other moms, and found out about this AMAZING LIFE CHANGING (for me) product. I ran out and bought one that day, and we haven’t been without it ever since.

[badmamaj-blog]

[badmamaj-blog]

Diary of Mama J: Real Life Will Resume in 3... 2... 1...

My life as a working mom will resume in a few months. I was really hoping to find a new gig closer to home before my maternity leave is over, but it doesn’t look like that’s happening. There was one particular job I wanted bad, I called it my unicorn, and I have never wanted a job that badly in my life. Obviously I didn’t get it, and I’m still processing my grief over this life changing opportunity slipping through my fingers. At the same time I am dealing with feelings of dread and stress over having to put my big girl panties on and return to a job which I no longer have passion for, a boss I don’t respect, and a company I don’t believe in. Part of me fantasizes over the Hollywood version of this life. I take a stand, I follow my passion, and life will magically work out. In fact, I will be REWARDED by the universe for following my heart and standing on the right side of ethics. The other part of me knows the real life version all to well. It means no pay check, financial uncertainty, and unknown length of time being unemployed, and more difficulty securing employment because you’re unemployed. Apparently being unemployed and looking for work makes hiring manages uneasy. I wish I caught that unicorn… /Mama J Nov. 15

[danielextra]

THINGS TO REGULATE…according to the GOP

[badmamaj-blog]

Unsolicited Advice for Pregnant Women #1: The Announcement

One of the first things women fret about once they’re pregnant (other than the massive change in their life and the health of their unborn babe) is when to make the public announcement.

I will say what I usually say to new moms: It’s a personal choice and completely up to you.

Sometimes the conversation continues, and they offer up their reasons. When they do, I offer my thoughts. It usually goes something like this:

- But I’m safe after the first trimester.

Safe? Hardly. Try *safer*. You are simply less likely to suffer a miscarriage. There many are cases when women have a miscarriage right after their first trimester, or at 5 months, or give birth to a stillborn baby, or lose the baby mere minutes after birth, etc. There’s really no such thing as “safe” to me.

- Yes, but I’m statistically less likely, like you said. So I should wait, right?

Let me tell you about statistics.

My dad had a constant cough, and ended up needing to remove his tonsils. There was a 1% chance he has cancer. When he woke up from surgery, the doc said “So about that one-percent…”

When I was pregnant for the second time, I had a dating ultrasound and saw the flickering beat or my baby’s heart at 5 weeks. Statistically, there is only a 5% risk of miscarriage after the heartbeat is detected on an ultrasound. Yet, when I was 12 weeks along, I miscarried.

There is no such thing as safe.

- But if I lose the baby, I’ll have to tell everyone and it will be hard.

And if you don’t tell anyone and you lose the baby, you get to tell them you (a) were pregnant; and (b) you had a miscarriage. Or you suffer in silence, and no one understands why you’re an emotional wreck. No one gets to support you and grieve the death of your baby with you.

/Mama J Nov. 7, 2016

[badmamaj-blog]

I Forgive, but I Don't Forget

My husband just took a trip to the bathroom, heard Mikey wake up and start crying, then crept back into bed, pretended to sleep, and KEPT pretending to sleep while I got up. He doesn't know that I was already up, that I know he was up, that I know he ignored the baby, or that I know he pretended to sleep. I'll remember this. Mark. My. Words.

[badmamaj-blog]

You Picked the Wrong Day, Bro...

Jax snuggle up next to me, patted my blubbery belly, and said it was time to have more babies. Plural. As in two.

He couldn’t have picked a worse day to ask for such a thing. Mere hours ago I was sitting in my car, alone, for no reason other than to enjoy the silence. Once I got out of the car I knew I would have a sick baby that would want to nurse for comfort, a sick child smothering me with need, and a husband that would want a hug the minute the other two finally stopped touching my skin.

/MamaJ Nov. 5, 2016

[badmamaj-blog]

Unsolicited Advice For Men #1

If the household pet pisses under the couch, and then your wife asks you to check the adjacent rug, actually CHECK IT.

If, hours later, your wife checks the rug and advises you that yes, the rug did get wet with dog piss, the appropriate response IS NOT “And what do you want me to do about it?”

[badmamaj-blog]

What's in a Name?

When my son Jax was old enough to start talking back, he would ask me “Why?” and “Why did you say no?” and “Why are you like this?” My favourite answer to this line of questioning is this: I’m a bad mama jama! Eventually, he started calling me that as if it were an insult. “YOU are a BAD mama jama!!” When he hears the song and understands the lyrics, he’ll be mortified.

The 09 and 16 have to deal with dates close to my heart 💖

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She’s A Bad Mama Jama (She’s Built, She’s Stacked)

Carl Carlton

-Lyrics- Yeah Ooh Ooh…ooh…hoo Look at her

Shes a bad mama jama Just as fine as she can be, hey Shes a bad mama jama Just as fine as she can be

Her body measurements are perfect in every dimension Shes got a figure thats sho nuff gettin attention Shes poetry in motion, a beautiful sight to see I get so excited viewin her anatomy

Got all the curves that men like (Shes got all the curves that men like) (Shes built) Shes built, shes stacked (Oh, shes got) Got all the curves that men like (Got all the curves that men like, look at her)

Shes a bad mama jama Just as fine as she can be, hey Shes a bad mama jama, oh Just as fine as she can be

Looks like shes poured into the gold, she bad The essence of beauty, ooh, such lovely hair Shes foxy, classy, oh, sexy, sassy Shes heavenly, a treat for the eye to see

Got all the curves that men like (Got all the curves that men like, oh) (Shes built) Shes built, shes stacked (Oh, shes got) Got all the curves that men like (Got all the curves that men like, ooh-wee)

Shes a bad mama jama (Ooh, shes bad) Just as fine as she can be, hey Shes a bad mama jama, ho…ho… Just as fine as she can be

Woo, hoo Na na na na na na na na na na na na Woo, hoo Na na na na na na na na na na na na Woo, hoo

Shes built, shes stacked Got all the curves that men like

Her body measurements are perfect in every dimension Shes got a figure thats sho nuff gettin attention Shes poetry in motion, a beautiful sight to see I get so excited viewin her anatomy

Got all the curves that men like (Got all the curves that men like) (Shes built) Shes built, shes stacked (Oh, shes got) Got all the curves that men like (She got all the curves that men like, look at her)

Written by Leon Haywood • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group

[badmamaj-blog]

Follow-up: Under the Weather

Looks like this idiom has maritime ties!

http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/41044/origin-of-under-the-weather

[badmamaj-blog]

Follow-up: Fruit of my loin

I googled, and I found this answer. Yes, it can apply to women!

https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070517145921AAdpMwO

[badmamaj-blog]

4:20

There are a lot of images and actions that may come to mind when one thinks of 4:20. In my life, 4:20 is when I started writing this post. It’s when I got comfortable on my Deluxe Dutalier Glider as my younger son, Mikey, latched on for his early morning feed.

Normally interruptions to my sleep annoys me, even if it’s from the fruit of my loins (that’s not just a phrase for men, is it? – I’ll google it later) requesting nourishment or comfort from my bosom. However, Mikey has had a rough couple of days as he just cut a tooth, has four more on the way, and is generally feeling under the weather (note to self: Google origin of that idiom) due to the flu shot. I’m also having a hard time. My gig as a stay-at-home-mom is over in a few months, and every tender moment, every milestone, every smile, every everything, is tearing me up inside. I’m going to miss this sweet little baby and his big bro so much that it hurts.

So while I would normally be irritated with yet another night/morning of interrupted sleep while my husband snores away next to me, I’m savouring it. Well, as much as one can while also drafting a blog post 🤔😬

[badmamaj-blog]

Welcome

I am an only child, a wife, a mother of two sons (Jax and Mikey) and a pet owner. I don’t want to bombard my friends, family, and acquaintances with everything I want to write or vent about, so I created this little corner for myself. Maybe I’ll be the only person reading it. Maybe someone else will come across it and find it mildly amusing or annoying. Either way, welcome to this Bad Mama Jama’s Corner.