[thyfleshc0nsumed]

When I was 9 I wrote "bra" in Scribblenauts and then put it on my character and played for a bit with it on and then the shame hit so I deleted my save and cried and prayed to Jesus apologizing for putting a bra on my Scribblenauts character

[drbtinglecannon]

You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up

[kosmogrl]

[natalieironside]

"You got vampire lore wrong in your story because real vampires do this and that" Buddy I have terrible news about all of vampires. Heartbreaking news. Worst news you're gonna hear all day.

[souf-v-staff-rematch]

If cats don't want to be bothered by humans they shouldn't be so botherable in both size and shape

[souf-v-staff-rematch]

[willabee]

a beast blocks the path ahead

what will you do

[lew-basnight]

I cast “psspsspsspss”

[cannibalchicken]

[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

[cannibalchicken]

[straprat]

Oh my fucking god I forgot to stay silly

[dilbar-am]

"What are you doing for new years?"

Me:

[pumpkinspicebluntwrap]

Let’s hear it for bagel & cream cheese

[itsjustminormending]

[4a0000-deactivated20180901]

Hello! How are you?

moving from one crisis to another as elegantly as I can 

[leninisms]

“coke is better!” “pepsi is better!” wrong. squirt supremacy.

[leninisms]

i posted it and then i heard it

[spiribia]

personal injury lawyer billboards are all like INJURED?

[propalitet]

“shark infested waters” bro they just live there 

[greatpretending]

Am I annoying? Yes

Do I give a fuck? Also yes I really am sorry about me all the time