not even funny @baekonning - Tumblr Blog

Hear me out: what if Shane was the one who tried to get Ilya to do an open relationship in TLG?

Obviously Ilya tragically attempting to please his bf and keep him happy by telling him to fuck other people is already excellent whumpy goodness BUT

Imagine Shane’s deep insecurity born from knowing he was never enough for Ilya and desperation to compete with all the other women Ilya openly fucked and the shame of knowing he MUST have done something wrong for Ilya to have just ghosted him for so long after they hit it the first time culminating in Shane trying to pretend he’s okay with Ilya sleeping with other people.

Ilya finally realizing how deeply he fucked Shane up by conditioning him to accept that he would never be enough for Ilya. That all his little comments and digs and fuckboy games actually landed and Shane really didn’t understand or believe he’s enough for him. Even though they’re dating and in love. Even though Ilya assumed Shane must at this point know how mind numbingly absurdly ruined him for everyone else good Shane is.

Maybe instead of Shane actually pitching it to Ilya he just casually references the other women he assumes Ilya is still seeing, or makes some comment in bed begging Ilya to tell him he’s his favorite and then apologizes after because “sorry I know that’s needy it was the heat of the moment I know you love me I just get jealous sometimes”.

Just Shane casually assuming he’ll always have to share and never be enough for Ilya and Ilya horrified to realize just how resigned Shane is to assuming Ilya will never be satisfied with him the way Shane is with Ilya.

notahungrywish

Great news, I decided to completely abandon my grad school assignments due today, my work project due tomorrow, and all sense and responsibility in order to drop everything and write this. I didn’t have any intention of actually doing it myself but here we are I guess.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/80069411

PLEASE other people write this fic idea, mine is just a one shot done in single sitting because I couldn’t get it out of my head.

hollaknives

feb hollanov reclist part 2

alphabetical again

Five Times Ilya Bossed Shane Around During All-Stars Weekend And Nobody Thought Twice About It And One Time They Did by leiascully (mature, 2k)

Ilya keeps telling Shane what to do in front of everyone. Unfortunately, Shane kind of likes it.

forget there's any other place by anonymous (explicit, 6k)

They’d wanted to escape the cage, but they’d been in that cage for a decade and they’d made a home of it. Out in the big wide world, they got homesick.

frequently, secretly fond of each other by milominderbinder (explicit, 127k, WIP)

Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?” “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking. He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should. Nobody knows why Shane Hollander dropped out of the 2009 draft at the last second, and a year later it stuns the whole hockey world when he's signed by the Boston Raiders. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston - but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

i know where to draw the line by magneticwave ❣️ (explicit, 61k)

“Hollander’s Metros have had a challenging few years, with back-to-back knee injuries and a concussion keeping the two-time Stanley Cup winner and Olympic gold medalist off the ice for three consecutive postseason runs. Hollander is apparently back to fighting trim, but everyone’s wondering if that will still be true come April. The Metros have promised that they’re behind their franchise star one hundred percent, but there are signs they might be hedging their bets. The Metros announced last week that they have penned a deal with San Francisco’s dynamic young Russian star, center Ilya Rozanov. The move has sent shockwaves through MLH, as San Francisco was widely expected to sign a contract extension with Rozanov, who became a restricted free agent in June.”

I'll be Jane by gurlsrool (mature, 7k)

It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing. No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting. The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting). Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

ignoring every omen by guarddog (theslymoon) (teen, 14k)

Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPNI sat down with Ilya Rozanov to talk about what he loves about Boston, what it’s like to play the best hockey of his career, and what comes next. bit.ly/203948 tanHER dillon @kanatacommunisti s2g i just saw r*zanov at the ottawa airport…. theres no way right ↳ vic hates hockey @censelesstired: hollanov realwired: ir81 to the centaurs real or: ilya's last season in boston through the eyes of hockey twitter.

play destroy by kneeinjury (explicit, 12k)

Shane is silent for so long that Rozanov leans, slouching against the doorframe, and raises his eyebrows at him expectantly. “Yes? You are selling bibles?” “You fucked my girlfriend.” It tears out of him. “Ah,” Rozanov drawls, as if the thought is just now occurring to him, “yes. I did.”

struggle pretty by thesehands (explicit, 19k)

Ilya locked his arm around Shane’s throat and drew him up onto his knees. The hold was snug, a real headlock, the kind that would make most men tap out. Shane didn’t tap out, but he stayed very still. His pulse galloped against the juncture of Ilya’s elbow, powerfully enough that Ilya could feel its insistent throbbing. Everything in the room had been pulled taut—the cord of Ilya’s shoulders, the line of Shane’s back, even the air between them had a rigidity to it. Ilya was breathing heavily, panting open-mouthed against Shane’s sweat-damp temple.

“I could fuck you like this,” Ilya said. “I could fuck you right now, like this, not let you breathe, not let you come.”

wait for a different ending by garagepaperback ❣️ (mature, 13k)

Ilya goes to Moscow, and then he goes back home.

wine-dark-sky

I just know that the rest of the league was PISSED at Montreal for driving Shane away by being homophobic dumbasses because now he's in his husband's arms at Ottawa and they're the sleep paralysis demons of the entire NHL.

News of the trade drops and every hockey player in the eastern conference wakes up with a looming sense of dread and awareness that they are now in danger. Filing a work safety complaint before games against Ottawa because having to play against both Shane fucking Hollander and Ilya godamn Rozanov on the SAME TEAM should really count as an OSHA violation. No comment, we're too busy holding a team prayer circle before the game🙏

gffa

In my defense for being late with this, the HEATED RIVALRY fandom has been putting out not just bangers, but longfic bangers that update regularly, where multiple fantastic authors are still in their feverdream state and I am but a simple reader who is trying desperately to keep up. It's so far beyond being a problem that it's wrapped back around into being the best thing pretty much ever! I still can't believe this fandom that had like 2k fics when I joined will soon have 20,000 fics, what a time to be in a fandom!

This set has a whole bunch of fics that changed my brain chemistry, like that incredible Irina fic or that fic that humanized Alexei for me and now I can't go back or the Bears sort-of-not-really kidnapping Shane because the Voyageurs suck or some absolutely incredible explorations of Ilya's self-harm tendencies or the funniest Kip portrayal I've ever read or Shane being a competitive freak vs being a horny freak for his husband: FIGHT, all of it is absolutely wrecking my id. Nobody save me, I'm exactly where I want to be. HEATED RIVALRY - NO I WON’T BE CHILL ABOUT THE GAY HOCKEY PLAYERS SHOW:

Sinking While Swimming by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle, ilya/shane & hayden & alexei & svetlana & cast, 28.2k “Maybe you don't have to-” “Uh-uh. No backtracking now.” Hayden pointed a finger at him. “If you tell Shane, fantastic. Would love that, quite frankly, but until you do, I want those goddamn pictures, Rozanov. Am I clear?” Ilya wanted to make some quip about Pike trying to get a different kind of picture out of him, but given the circumstances... He just nodded. “Good. My kids tragically love the fuck out of you, so figure this out.” Ilya nodded again. “Alright then.”

Mama's Boy, Mama's Boy by WhimperSoldier, ilya/shane & irina & cast, NSFW, 68.3k Shane's first mistake was going to talk to Ilya Rozanov before their game. His second was immediately, stupidly, meeting the eyes of Rozanov’s very much dead mother hovering at his side.

(We Could Be) Something Great by Anonymous, ilya/shane & bears, nsfw, 77k wip When Ilya Rozanov goes down on the ice, the Boston Bears are already moving to defend their captain. No one expects Shane Hollander, captain of the Montreal Voyageurs, to be the one who throws the first punch. Or: the Boston Bears figure out Ilya and Shane’s relationship first—and decide that instead of letting their captain move to fucking Ottawa, they’ll just kidnap a his boyfriend instead. Shane Hollander would make a better Bear anyway.

tongues a-wagging by Anonymous, ilya/shane & oc & cast, 29k Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky. Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

Live Through This (And You Won't Look Back) by Snaptic, ilya/shane & scott/kip & hayden & cliff & j.j. & cast, 49.9k Shane rolls onto his side and stares at the faint outline of the window. The darkness presses in, but it doesn’t feel as suffocating as usual. Before he can talk himself out of it, he reaches for his phone. The screen lights up the room, too bright. His thumb hovers for a second, then he opens the thread. Shane: I think we should tell Scott.

let me give you innovation (got that good good) by splatticus, ilya/shane & centaurs, NSFW, 9.6k wip Ilya can't keep out of the box, so he's not allowed to put it in anymore.

A Sacred Ottawa-Pike Peace Treaty by Mooeyeddie (mooeyeddie), ilya/shane & hayden, 9k Forced into ridiculous ‘bonding’ playdates by their spouses, Ilya and Hayden are adamant about doing it their own way

Grady v. Rozanov by Pickle_Chips, ilya/shane & scott/kip, nsfw, 19.9k Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions. Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.

A Dozen Forget-Me-Nots by technicallyverycowboy, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie & hayden/shane, 6.2k Hayden coughs up the first petals the night Shane's trade to Ottawa is announced. Hayden doesn't have hanahaki and if he does, it's purely platonic and if it's not, nobody ever has to know. Especially not Shane.

Pull it Off by smugrobotics, shane(/ilya) & oc, 1.2k Shane hires a stylist.

shane hollander boy kisser confirmed! by chuyasexual, ilya/shane & hayden/shane & hayden/jackie & centaurs, 16.1k In 2021, Shane Hollander reveals his relationship with former rival Ilya Rozanov to the shock of chronically online people worldwide, who’ve spent the last decade convincing the world he’s secretly in love with his teammate Hayden Pike

you're gonna go far, we'll all be here by writinginasnowglobe, ilya/shane & luca & centaurs & ocs, 3k Ilya: everyone welcome luca haas new rookie 🫨 Ilya: i gave him all your numbers do not introduce yourself Ilya: i do not need phone buzzing i am busy

One for the Road by PastyPirate, ilya/shane & centaurs, NSFW, 28.4k “You can’t go two weeks without fucking me anyways,” Shane heard himself saying, and instantly felt like he’d chosen the wrong dialogue option. He should’ve said something like I’d like to see all the ways you can figure it out or maybe not sharing a room has never stopped us before. Ilya let out a laugh, “Please, you beg for me all the time.” “I’m not the one who can’t go more than a day without jerking off —” shut up Hollander, SHUT UP “I can totally go two weeks without fucking.”

The chips are set to fall by icopythefax, ilya/shane & scott & cast, 17.8k wip At the 2017 All Star Weekend, Ilya takes fate into his own hands to produce at least one out MLH player by the end of the season. Thus begins his part-time side hustle as community organizer, mastermind, and Commander-in-Chief of the Gay Hockey Army.

The Condom Cartel by CognitiveMiser, ilya/shane & ocs, 5k Team Canada is undefeated, the Olympic Village is buzzing, and Shane Hollander just wants to focus on hockey. Unfortunately, his husband has discovered capitalism. When the Olympic Committee announces a condom shortage across the Village, Shane assumes it’s just another chaotic headline in an already surreal tournament. What he does not expect is to discover that Ilya Rozanov has been quietly selling their unused “complimentary health supplies” to stressed-out rookies and possibly half the international athletes...for five euros each.

Scotty Didn’t Know (but he sure does now) by halfbaked_ziti, ilya(/shane) & scott, 1.8k “You have problem, you bring it to me,” Rozanov growled. “Not him. Me. I am not so easy of a target, not like boring Canadians. And you keep that shit off the ice. Chirping, yes, fine. Not that. Never that. You are older than the game of hockey, should understand difference by now.” Canadians? “Wait,” Scott said slowly. “Is this about what I said to Hollander the other day?”

bad bluetooth by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & hayden & j.j., 1.8k “You have a message from: Lily.” The automated voice read out. Shane almost swerved into the other lane trying to press the mute button on the dashboard.

Our Cup Runneth Over by Ottawacentaursstan, ilya/shane & centaurs, 6.9k The rise and fall of a Cool Party Guy (aka the Centaurs win the Stanley Cup and Shane gets uncharacteristically drunk to celebrate)

Wrap It Up by alchemystique, ilya/shane & scott & wyatt & cast, 3.1k The Olympic Village runs out of condoms on day three. Luckily for Olympians, Shane Hollander took note of exactly how often this has happened previously.

I can see it, your face is glowin' by joldiego, shane(/ilya) & hayden(/jackie), 4k Shane is stooped over to strap on his shin guards when his phone buzzes once in Hayden’s hand. He doesn’t mean to tap the notification. And oh god, does he wish he could un-tap the fucking notification. Because why the fuck has Lily, Shane’s mysterious Boston hook-up of several years (no matter how fervently he denies it), sent him a picture of a fucking sonogram. Black and white, blurry, and undeniably baby-shaped.

MORE RECS UNDER THE CUT because I have some fucking manners. Sometimes.

taviacoolcat

there is no way y'all can convince me shane wouldn't be crazier for ilya in his jersey than ilya would be for shane in his. i bet you shane hockey-is-my-life hollander has at least 45 different sexual fantasies where ilya is wearing his jersey, like can we be serious

hollaknives

february-ish hollanov reclist

read a lot of beautiful things recently. alphabetically.

another uninnocent, elegant fall by anonymous (explicit, 17k) ❣️

Seven scandals in the life of Ilya Rozanov.

a winner at heart by pressuretoparty (explicit, 32k) ❣️

Ilya laughs. He finds that once he starts, he can't stop. He laughs at the fact that he's in France with Shane Hollander. He laughs at the fact he's Shane Hollander's boyfriend. He laughs at the fact that he gave up Moscow for a better life, only to end up in fucking Ottawa. Ilya's dick stops working one month before he's supposed to leave for the South of France.

car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6 by rockbound (explicit, 3k)

The only trick is to have no fear, and even less fear than that the more trouble one is in. Ilya cannot teach that to a man who has directed his energies into becoming, not like a saint, but like a painting of a saint, all dripping in symbolism: the way the robe drapes here, yes, that is on purpose, and the angle of the light, the patron’s face in the crowd, the instrument of the martyrdom in his hand and the fruit in the bowl on the table, all arranged except when—

Clean by dinosour (explicit, 7k)

Rozanov cocks his head to the side curiously. “This is porn thing?” “It isn’t a porn thing!” “It feels different?” He asks, nosing along his throat. “For you?” “I don’t know, but I don’t think so.” Psychologically, yes; physically, probably not. He hadn’t felt whatever Rozanov had clearly felt the moment the condom broke. “Though I think it’ll feel different for you. Maybe better.” Rozanov pulls away until they can look each other in the eye. “I always feel good with you.” It doesn’t feel like a compliment, but like he’s making a point. “You don’t need to do this for me.” “I know. I want to do it.” Shane insists. Shane and Ilya experiment. It's a success.

Compatible by jewelledfoxes (explicit, 18k)

Ilya’s blood has always run hotter than Shane's. Or: Yay Hollanov free use! Everybody cheered!

cottaging by gone_girl (explicit, 10k) ❣️

Ilya was good at noticing things about people, and he was good at understanding them. Shane was not. That was okay. Shane had developed his own way of getting to know Ilya. It involved a lot of inane questions and, more importantly, no longer involved condoms.

Everything You Know by ineptshieldmaid (explicit, 6k)

"Is it weird," Ilya says, and Shane turns a little to meet his eyes, "That I have never done this?" "What, fingered me on a couch? I'm sure…" "No, Hollander," Ilya says, in the voice he reserves for when Shane is being particularly obtuse. "That is not what I mean."

fall in love again and again by Ehlihr (mature, 25k) ❣️

Shane wakes up on Tuesday at 5:26 AM on game day in Boston, four minutes before his alarm goes off. Shane wants it to be Wednesday. But no matter what, Shane wakes up on Tuesday at 5:26 AM on game day in Boston, four minutes before his alarm goes off. ”Fuck,” he croaks. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Chapter 1: Shane wakes up on the same Tuesday over and over again after leaving Rozanov in a rush. Tuesday is his second least favourite day of the week, so he's not really happy about it. Chapter 2: Ilya notices Shane acts strangely. He just never remembers.

found it on my own by coldhome (mature, 3k)

In the stale hallway of the Sports Hall of Fame, he understands the cottage more. He has to wander down unpaved paths for privacy. Ilya looks over at the growing crowd around Shane. There are things to learn, he decides. There are things to learn that cannot be kept behind glass in this wretched museum. Or, Ilya and Shane learn each other.

holding tightly when you invite me by thesehands (explicit, 7k)

“Actually, uh—“ Shane scratched the back of his neck and dropped his gaze to the floor by Ilya’s chair. “Would you mind if I sucked you off?”

“Would I mind?” Ilya asked. “No, I would not mind. You want my cock again that badly, Hollander?”

house rules by Calico (explicit, 6k)

Shane's brought Ilya to his cottage, which means something, doesn't it? And whether it's a test, or an experiment, or an audition - Ilya is determined he will triumph. By any means necessary.

jumping someone else's train by HeartOfDecember (explicit, 11k)

"Typical dirty Americans," Rozanov said. He took the pitcher and started pouring water into the four glasses. "You wear your shoes indoors and then you want to fuck someone else's husband and then you expect him to sleep in the same filthy sheets." Scott opened his mouth to retort back, but Rozanov, the gracious host, was handing him a cold glass of water. "Well, we will all get very dirty together tonight," he continued. "Shane, my sweetheart, you are outnumbered. Better hydrate." Hollander drank obediently. Needing something to do with his hands, Scott sipped his water, too. Kip traced circles lightly along his back. The silence that felt so pleasant outside by the fire now settled heavily over them. Scott cleared his throat. "So," he said. "What are we doing?" Rozanov looked at him like he was stupid. "Is it not obvious? We are going to run a train on my husband."

listen how the heart beats lying next to him by pumpkinless (explicit, 8k)

Every time a text came through about flight times, Shane thought that would be the last one. That Ilya would say, no, actually, but I cannot come to your home over the summer and fuck you in your bed for two weeks and kiss and play house like we are boyfriends, because we are hockey rivals and this has been a seven year long mistake. Also, I will be blocking your phone number and never want to see you again unless I am beating you on the ice. He had doubted every second until Ilya was finally in his car in the airport parking garage.

love and lust (wanna be yours) by blankjournal (explicit, 12k)

“You really wouldn’t mind if I had sex with someone else?” Ilya does mind. Hearing it said back to him, almost makes him flinch, a sudden and brittle sound right next to his ear that he fails to recoil from in time. But he swallows back the bitter truth and replies, “Of course not. If that is what you want.” He waits, sitting on his living room couch, phone pressed painfully against his ear, his other hand gripping his knees till his knuckles blanched. He could feel his own heart rattling behind his ribs, pulse rockingloudly. His mind was an echo of alarm, demanding of him: Why isn't Shane saying anything? It was the loudest silence he’s ever lived through, until Shane finally said, “Okay.” OR: inspired by the fight in TLG where Ilya tells Shane he can sleep with other men. But this time, Shane actually takes the offer.

Menace by Charlotte_Stant (mature, 5k) ❣️

Of course Ilya had known that Shane would come back but it was gratifying, still, the text from Jane, Can we meet up when you’re here tomorrow, I don’t care where. I really need to see you. The intimation, probably accidental, that Shane was so very desperate he was open to the idea of Ilya fucking him in the street. Ilya typed and deleted many potential replies, which was not characteristic of him. (Or: Shane gets blackmailed. Ilya handles it.)

See You at the Melting Point by DeclaredDove (explicit, 1.5k)

Hollander has a lot of commercials. Ilya has favorites. For normal reasons.-- --OR Ilya wants. It’s a problem.

speed limit by radialarch (teen, 1k)

82 games in a season doesn't leave much time for braving traffic on the 417.

sympathy fuck by lustmord (explicit, 10k) ❣️

We won’t release a statement right away, someone from the front office said, but if you’re missing a couple games there’s going to be questions. What are we going to call it? A family emergency? Ilya had almost laughed. What emergency? His father is already fucking dead.

the gift by stammiviktor (mature, 8k)

Ilya wanted so badly to just tell Svetlana: It’s Shane Hollander, it’s always been Shane Hollander. He wanted to invite her over after the game so he'd know it was possible for her and Shane to exist in the same room without the world collapsing. He was calling Shane back before he even thought about it, his heart in his throat. “Ilya?” “Can I invite Svetlana?" He could never have expected what happened next. Or: Only a few months after the cottage, Shane meets Svetlana—and goes to great lengths to defeat his jealousy.

whispers carried on second wind by MilesbyMicah (explicit, 5k)

In which Ilya perceives Shane a little more than he’s allowed to, so Shane uses the tried and true Ilya Rozanov™ method of deflecting with sex. Set ambiguously sometime in episode 4 just before the tuna melt scene.

blanklier

guess what? i'm back with more :D

hollanov fic rec list number five! (one , two , three, four six here)

impulse control mature, 6k, complete. immediatly after the credits, shane decides that he needs to get married to ilya, stat. the rest of the world catches up eventually.

broken glass mature, 9k, oneshot. ilya gets into a fight with his father and goes home to shane. warning for abuse and suicide mentions, but very good.

hot and trendy teen, 5k, incomplete. shane and ilya make fan accounts of each other after they get together, just to get some of their giddiness out in the world. hollanov? what hollanov? all that matters is jane/lily, twitter lesbians.

what if i told you none of it was accidental? explicit, 19k, incomplete. 5+1. in a slight au where they're not out to anyone, centaurs co-captains shane and ilya absolutely cannot keep it in their pants for long enough for anyone to stop walking in on them. they come out, one very awkward moment at a time. well, sometimes just awkward for other people.

going down explicit, 7k, oneshot. shane, ilya, and a magazine reporter get stuck in an elevator. they're very chill and normal and capable of playing it off, really. genuinely, a very good look at how their public view and their private relationship ties into each other.

just take a fucking hint explicit, 4k, oneshot. hey, let's get scott hunter, shane hollander, and ilya rozanov to film an underwear commercial together! surely this will be very normal and straight, and ilya will not kill scott hunter for looking at shane's ass. set after tampa all-stars.

in different circumstances explicit, 46k, incomplete. au where shane stays post tuna melt. PR also chooses to mic up shane, ilya and scott for their games, which somehow turns out to be both almost pg and cute. also, shane's grandmother has declared ilya to be her favorite, on account of him doing hockey correctly (violently). a really cute, fun dynamic in this fic, i was grinning way too hard.

i'm reading your lips (you're speaking my language) mature, 40k, complete. shane speaks russian, and the chips fall a little differently- the friendship between hollander and rozanov is legendary, with rozanov often dragging hollander along to translate all of his shenanigans. the love of language and communication was really sweet to see, and their relationship itself was so layered and sweet.

scott hunter's impeccable gaydar teen, 3k, oneshot. shane and scott meet up after their fight to clear the air and apologize. they proceed to try to out-hetero each other. it's almost like watching a cat hiss at its reflection.

triple gold SERIES, three works, explicit, 18k. three works about ilya and shane getting Weird about jewlery- ilya loves to see shane wearing his money, shane loves wearing it. the last one has ilya piercing shane's ears, which made me audibly shriek in absolute GLEE. very hot, very good, everyone read this right now.

detained explicit, 6k, oneshot. shane hears ilya has been arrested after a night out and goes to him, despite himself. situated messily after the club scene in episode 4. i really like the tension between helping someone because you love them, but still knowing that you're in a fight. it's just absolutely so tasty.

baby bear explicit, 12k, ongoing. shane hollander gets traded to the boston bears in 2016. ilya rozanov is as equally surprised as the rest of the world. i love to see the shifting dynamics of shane as a rival captain vs a teammate, and this coupled with their already sweetening dynamic going from hookups to more makes a GREAT combo. also, i really love how friendly and sweet they get.

in which rose gets the tea and wingmans for her ex gen, 2k, complete. textfic. rose stays in the wags chat after the breakup and learns some interesting stuff about boston lily. made me giggle way too hard.

first-person plural possessive explicit, 8k, oneshot. hollanov go to troy and harris' housewarming party, post-long game. it wouldn't be them if they stopped wanting to jump each other's bones for any longer than five minutes, really.

H-E-double hockey sticks teen, 1k, oneshot. ilya learns about shane's highly-specific pre-game routine. he can be so normal about this. really.

ilya rozanov's ao3 account teen, 13k, incomplete. ilya's journal consists of a public fanfiction account. they are surprisingly well-received within the hockey rpf fandom. a very cool look at outsider pov/fandom view while adding a lot of flavor as to ilya's thoughts. also, if shane ever found this, he would literally combust into flames.

the profounder is the stain explicit, 13k, oneshot. shane gets into perfumes. it's not about ilya, except it kind of is. very interesting and lovely characterization.

alea jacta est (the die is cast) mature, 26k, incomplete. percy jackson crossover. shane hollander is a son of jupiter, a legacy of venus, and a traitor to rome from before his birth. ilya rozanov is a son of nike who just wants to play hockey. they don't have time for the great prophecy. there's stanley cups to win and games to play.

objectivelyimpermanent

Heated Rivalry short fic recs (<20K, complete):

[accompanied by laconic summaries]

DefinitelyNotRozanov81’s Guide to Marriage, Hockey, and Destroying Your Husband’s Best Friend Through the Power of Fanfiction by pucksandpower Ilya Rozanov writes fanfiction about Hayden Pike being a cuck with a small dick. Everyone knows it's him.

The MILF Theory (And Why the Internet Got It Wrong) by pucksandpower Everyone thinks that Ilya Rozanov is engaging in psychological warfare against Shane Hollander by fucking his mother.

Jane Doe by periwinkle_bumper_cars (Sunsets_Beget_Starlight) Ilya gets roofied, and Shane proves himself to Svetlana.

morality clause by canadadry Yuna Hollander on the concept of morals clauses, being a mumager, and Ilya Rozanov.

Impulse Control by alyseofwonderland (Esyla) Hollanov get shotgun married immediately post-credits. Everyone finds out about it.

love takes miles by corsi The Hollanov fandom through the 2010s: via Tumblr, AO3, Reddit, Discord, and The Platform Formerly Known as Twitter.

I Do Not Have Wings (Love, I Never Will) by Sea_Sea9000 Ilya's and Scott's bromance, based entirely on depression.

how do you feel? by exogenesissymph Shane Hollander's how-to on being a Media Robot, and learning to be a real boy.

Broken Glass by prinny_a Hollanov are outed early to Shane's parents when Grigori's dementia takes a violent turn, and Ilya flies across Europe with a concussion.

circle back season by Anonymous Ilya Rozanov has never seen The Time Traveller's Wife, and he wonders whether it's him or Shane who has mistaken the meaning of "We'd be completely alone."

connecting the dots by defcontwo Hayden realises that Boston Lily must be a dom(inatrix).

aberrant by Della19 Just because Ilya's an omega, doesn't mean he wants to bottom; and that's okay, because Shane is an alpha who prefers to be the hole rather than the peg.

a simple case of mistaken identity by LiarsandThieves22 Hayden realises that Boston Lily must be Lily Adams, the Boston Raiders' social media lady. He also learns about feminism.

hot and trendy by thirteenick The only thing more interesting to Hollanov Twitter than how Hollander and Rozanov are definitely fucking is the riveting sapphic romance of Lily the Hollander stan and Jane the Rozanov stan.

Going Down by DorianGraysUnicorn Two hockey rivals and a reporter get trapped in a lift. The reporter has a feeling that she's missing something, but Shane Hollander has a very cogent opinion on not belonging to oneself and on choosing to belong.

Scott Hunter's Impeccable Gaydar by epexegetical Scotty actually doesn't know shit. What he does know is that he is the only gay man in the world.

Cliff Marlow Gets a Clue by Carry_On_Moss Ilya Rozanov Respects Women, but Cliff Marlow is worried that he might not Respect Hollander? [Part of a series]

MLH Breakdowns #7 | How this one INSANE Free Agency Signing Sparked a Three-Year Hockey Frenzy 😱🏒 by rightnowimtoad When Ilya Rozanov blows up his career to play for Ottawa, Reddit slowly comes to realise that the only possible explanation is that he's fucking Shane Hollander.

the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose by alchemystique Yuna Hollander wonders when and why Shane chose Ilya Rozanov and realises that she and Ilya have a lot in common. Or, why Ilya is the favourite son.

The Rose Landry Bowl by Amazinggrace0 Everyone is baffled when Ilya Rozanov starts dating Shane Hollander's ex-girlfriend, but they respect the psychological warfare. [and its sequel below.]

Svetlana Vetrova's Luxury Car Services by Amazinggrace0 Everyone is baffled when Shane Hollander starts dating Ilya Rozanov's ex-girlfriend, but they respect the psychological warfare. [and its prequel above.]

itshype

Yes, the fics where Ilya goes to Shane's game in his jersey are cute and romantic. But why has no one even considered:

thisfeebleheart

"It's a long story."

Shane and Ilya through the years

deqncas

my hollanov fic recs (6)

part 1 ! part 2 ! part 3 ! part 4 ! part 5

Tender Parts by mcshrug | explicit | 6.9k words – Shane isn't used to people touching him. Then he meets Ilya Rozanov.

walk him like a dog (or a wolf) by beautifullyblue | explicit | 58k words – Shane trying to enjoy a relaxing time at the cottage only to discover a hot naked man in his living room, instead of the wolf he had previously put there.

It Grows Down Deep by a_stray_thief | mature | 8k words – After Shane runs out of Ilya’s house post tuna melt, he develops Hanahaki.

Such a Pretty Crier by Bruja_oscura | teen+ | 10k words – Shane tries to starve himself as punishment for losing, Ilya tries to feed him, and it turns into a very soft night of pampering because Ilya is legally incapable of staying angry at a crying Shane.

Home Ice Advantage by taywrites11 | explicit | 51.9k words – “You’re going to Boston.” Long after Farah hangs up, the words keep echoing in Shane’s head. If he had thought his thoughts had been chaotic this morning, when his biggest problem had been his rival potentially fucking him when he came to Montreal in two weeks, that’s nothing compared to the code-red panic that started the instant he found out he was being traded to Rozanov’s team.

Throat Curtain? by Z1r1al | explicit | 15.7k words – When a brutal elbow leaves Shane Hollander spitting blood on the ice, he lands immediately in the hands of the opposing team's dentist. Shane thinks the dentist saw a cavity. The dentist knows he saw a secret.

make a heartthrob out of me by heartfangs | explicit | 24.8k words – It is easy to hate Ilya Rozanov; easier than to like him, at least. It would be easier to keep hating him if he wasn't everywhere that Shane also was.

Promises never made by ibumblebee | teen+ | 12.7k words – Shane messages Ilya a few days after the tuna melt scene. Ilya is trying to not scare him away again. He will restrain himself. He will take what Shane gives him and never ask for more. Just please, he can’t see him walk out of his life again.

this is not enough (i am not enough) by blankjournals | explicit | 10k – inspired by the fight in the long game when ilya had told shane he could have sex with other men because he did not believe in cheating.

I want this like a cigarette, can we drag it out and never quit by brightloveee | mature | 7k words – 5 times Ilya noticed Shane’s new boyfriend sucks and he could do better, and 1 time he got to prove it.

nocoastposts

Do you have any fic recs where the centaurs are protective of/defend hollanov?

I have a few recs for this, and I’ve included some that are more “supportive Centaurs” than “protective Centaurs” but have a similar vibe.

I also asked the lovely HR discord group I’m in for some help. I put an asterisk next to anything I haven’t personally read.

Here’s what we got:

Don’t Poke The Bear | G | 13.1k (a personal favorite of mine; please mind the tags)

hold you as the water rushes in | T | 6.4k

shane hollander vs. the world by @galehautstomb | M | 2.7k

A Fierce And Blazing Thing | M | 11.8k

Fanning The Flames | E | 21.1k

what if? - the ring was noticed | Not Rated | 3.4k

but when the sun came up | E | 21.7k (another personal favorite; the entire series is great but this can be read as a standalone fic)

All My Homies Hate The Montreal Voyageurs | T | 2.7k

*Fury | T | 5.2k (cw - omegaverse)

*Capital Pride | E | 8.2k

*First cut is the deepest | E | 2.8k

*Mama’s Boy | T | 2k

I hope you enjoy some of these!

milominderbindered

i want to recommend your fic to everyone because it is my favorite heated rivalry fic ever but i also want to ask if you have any other hr fic recs because i trust your taste and the tag is so scary !! please !!

omg that's so nice thank you :') well if anyone wants to read 85k of sex and pining today here's frequently secretly fond of each other lmao

but i am alllways happy to give other recs! these are all fics i think have really good characterisation, bc that's the most important thing in fic to me:

real love makes your lungs black by Anonymous (16k)

frankly this might be the most beautiful thing written yet in this fandom. sort of a character & relationship timeline written through both shane and ilya's relationships to ilya smoking. check out this anonymous author's entire work series btw (the fics are unrelated to each other, but they're ALL the best written, best characterised shit you've seen in ur life)

i guess what's wrong is when we're kissing, we can't talk by sargeantwoof (6k)

cute pillowtalk / hollanov getting to know each other better that i really enjoyed their headspaces in

Many Loved Before Us, I Know That We Are Not New by servetas (2k)

short but sweet/interesting look at how hard they love each other

connecting the dots by defcontwo (7k)

another 'hayden finds out' with some fun mis-guesses lmao

pieced together, picture perfect by MOSTLYVOlD (4k)

yuna pov and ilya connecting with the hollanders !

stickhandling by moonlitgarden (11k)

this is just so so so good. early relationship shane pov. this fic was electric to read

careful all the time by Anonymous (24k)

another of that anon author's fics but i have to rec this one too. this author just GETS shane and ilya, they feel so real, messy but not overdramatic, in love but not saccharine, i could read this all day

as it was closing by guarddog (theslymoon) (10k)

a long hockey twitter fic based around post-s1 events that i loved

@MLHTracker by summerblood (5k)

another twitter fic but with a unique idea as it's based on those tracker accounts that track who nhl players follow/unfollow. this was so inventive and well done!

Ilya Rozanov's Boyfriend's Ex-Girlfriend by synchronik (4k)

ROSE MEETING ILYA !! this is such an underexplored concept imo and this fic did it so well

Closer to the heart by norgbelulah (7k)

yuna pov; struggling with ilya and growing to care for him

colour-blue

the worst part of it all is that I have to love you silently—I can’t let you know whenever I feel like it anymore. I can only scream it to the barriers of my mind.