i am here to say that i officially stopped writing fics, for those who come to my inbox to ask me either i will continue my fics or not, the answer is never. i am so sorry to disappoint, but it is what it is.
for those who waited and have been here since day-1, i sincerely thank you.
— note before you proceed: as of may 25, 2020, i am officialy taking a rest from writing fics. though, it doesn’t change the face that maybe in the future i will randomly post one or two drabbles, but chances are slim.
one of the solid reasons why i decided to take a rest is because i am: lazy. i know, it makes me sound like a total snob; but i off the internet, i am someone who worked from 8-5, and my work requires me to stare at my screen. i don’t have a time to take a breather when i am at home, too, because i am the type of person who brings my work back home.
but i would love to stress this out: the reason why i really decided to take a rest was because of the hateful words i have been receiving, sure, it doesn’t bother me as much, but it is the fact that some people would go to the lengths of degrading other people online. it makes me feel absolutely sick and disgusted by it. sure, it probably was only 2 out of 10 people who do that, but it doesn’t change the fact that i am only human and while it doesn’t affect me, it does exhaust me. after all, writing should be a joyful journey, an escape. but once it doesn’t feel that way, of course it exhaust one’s body.
i am thankful for all the support everyone been giving me, all of your kind words are something that i will always keep in my heart. thank you so much for loving my works, to those who gave me feedbacks, you’re a champ.
see you in the future, everyone!
✰ ｣ a beautiful dream / ❀ / completed
— being a single father is hard. especially when baekhyun’s in his early thirties and needing to make a name for himself. yet his daughter had been his greatest gift and he doesn’t mind if it means exhausting days and hardships to come — as long as he has her. though fate works in an incredible way when he meets somebody unexpectedly.
— singledad!au, lawyer!au, teacher!au
✰ ｣ something unforgettable / ❀ / completed
— a vacation trip to a small island shouldn’t have meant something more than a way to clear your head from the stress and busyness of the polluted city. it all changed when you met a surfer that was so keen and persuasive to teach you how to surf. not only he was able to make you surf in a short amount of time, he also was able to let your heart be freed to the oceans for him to catch.
— surfer!au, summer fling!au
✰ ｣ half moon / ❀ ☽ / on-going, on hold.
— you remembered the messy clothing sketches sprawled on the desk, and also remembered how proud you were when you modeled for his final assignment. the promise of you being the first one to wear his first official product was made. years passed by and the promise was forgotten as it wasn’t meant to be kept; until you received an invitation that has B.B.H signed on it. ironically, you found yourself confronting your past at your ex-boyfriend new collection launch event with your memories with him flashing through your mind.
— ex to something!au, beauty youtuber!au, fashion designer!au
✰ ｣ moonlight / ♰ ❀
— baekhyun and you under the moonlight
— ceo!au, model!au
✰ ｣ closer to you / ♰
— baekhyun knows you are beautiful, even more so when you are bend down in front of him with the lights illuminating your body as if you are showered by gold.
— ceo!au, model!au
✰ ｣ like toxin + epilogue / ♰ ☽
— developing romantic feelings for your friend with benefit are uncalled for; knowing how it will only lead to your heart being shattered to pieces.
— friends with benefit!au, college!au
✰ ｣ through the years / ❀
— you live in the era where red string of fate is real, that whoever is at the end of your string―is your soulmate. the catch is, you can only see who the end of your string after you kissed your soulmate. so, why, after thirty years of living―with the possibility that you don’t have a soulmate―you can see yours linked to your best friend? on your wedding day, at that.
— best friends to lovers!au, soulmate!au, red string of fate!au
other stuffs that is not listed above can be found: here.
— note before you proceed: as of may 25, 2020, i am officialy taking a rest from writing fics. though, it doesn’t change the face that maybe in the future i will randomly post one or two drabbles, but chances are slim.
one of the solid reasons why i decided to take a rest is because i am: lazy. i know, it makes me sound like a total snob; but i off the internet, i am someone who worked from 8-5, and my work requires me to stare at my screen. i don’t have a time to take a breather when i am at home, too, because i am the type of person who brings my work back home.
but i would love to stress this out: the reason why i really decided to take a rest was because of the hateful words i have been receiving, sure, it doesn’t bother me as much, but it is the fact that some people would go to the lengths of degrading other people online. it makes me feel absolutely sick and disgusted by it. sure, it probably was only 2 out of 10 people who do that, but it doesn’t change the fact that i am only human and while it doesn’t affect me, it does exhaust me. after all, writing should be a joyful journey, an escape. but once it doesn’t feel that way, of course it exhaust one’s body.
i am thankful for all the support everyone been giving me, all of your kind words are something that i will always keep in my heart. thank you so much for loving my works, to those who gave me feedbacks, you’re a champ.
see you in the future, everyone!
✰ ｣ a beautiful dream / ❀ / completed
— being a single father is hard. especially when baekhyun’s in his early thirties and needing to make a name for himself. yet his daughter had been his greatest gift and he doesn’t mind if it means exhausting days and hardships to come — as long as he has her. though fate works in an incredible way when he meets somebody unexpectedly.
— singledad!au, lawyer!au, teacher!au
✰ ｣ something unforgettable / ❀ / completed
— a vacation trip to a small island shouldn’t have meant something more than a way to clear your head from the stress and busyness of the polluted city. it all changed when you met a surfer that was so keen and persuasive to teach you how to surf. not only he was able to make you surf in a short amount of time, he also was able to let your heart be freed to the oceans for him to catch.
— surfer!au, summer fling!au
✰ ｣ half moon / ❀ ☽ / on-going, on hold.
— you remembered the messy clothing sketches sprawled on the desk, and also remembered how proud you were when you modeled for his final assignment. the promise of you being the first one to wear his first official product was made. years passed by and the promise was forgotten as it wasn’t meant to be kept; until you received an invitation that has B.B.H signed on it. ironically, you found yourself confronting your past at your ex-boyfriend new collection launch event with your memories with him flashing through your mind.
— ex to something!au, beauty youtuber!au, fashion designer!au
✰ ｣ moonlight / ♰ ❀
— baekhyun and you under the moonlight
— ceo!au, model!au
✰ ｣ closer to you / ♰
— baekhyun knows you are beautiful, even more so when you are bend down in front of him with the lights illuminating your body as if you are showered by gold.
— ceo!au, model!au
✰ ｣ like toxin + epilogue / ♰ ☽
— developing romantic feelings for your friend with benefit are uncalled for; knowing how it will only lead to your heart being shattered to pieces.
— friends with benefit!au, college!au
✰ ｣ through the years / ❀
— you live in the era where red string of fate is real, that whoever is at the end of your string―is your soulmate. the catch is, you can only see who the end of your string after you kissed your soulmate. so, why, after thirty years of living―with the possibility that you don’t have a soulmate―you can see yours linked to your best friend? on your wedding day, at that.
— best friends to lovers!au, soulmate!au, red string of fate!au
other stuffs that is not listed above can be found: here.
Baekhyun is an infamous frat boy with scarlet streaks in his hair that match the outer coat of his vintage red Mercedes. He likes parties, day-drinking, and showing too much chest. You’re a girl who just wants to be in love, and Baekhyun is just a boy who gets in the way.
Author’s Note: I hope you all enjoy and give me some of your thoughts! And don’t let the (M) tag fool you. Character development takes place too.
Baekhyun drove you out to the hills with the trails. In LA, these hillside trails weren’t rare, but they were rare to be without hikers and tourists. However, today was different; you were visiting these trails with Baekhyun, and it seemed like the whole world bended and broke for him because there wasn’t a hiker or tourist in sight.
“We’re on private property,” Baekhyun told you as he stopped his car at the foot of the hill. “But I know the guy who owns it, so we’re good.”
Of course, you thought to yourself. Leave it to Baekhyun to find an exclusive spot for a date.
brain peepeepoopoo as i read the smut part youre so mean for this as always cant believe you deadass said you cant wait for me to read it BC YOU KNOW YOURE GONNA KILL MEEEE LMFAO
as always, chun is so relatable and i love how her mouth doesnt have any filter it in like man whoever called her obnoxious bet never been in a place where they have to deal with frat boy who has misteripis issues
the last scenes actually took me aback?? jesus alcoholism!baekhyun is so scary to think of it because i never actually thought it is that bad (considering how this is the same baekhyun as amorous design) to the point where he really cuss out seulgi like that man i believe in seulgi supremacicy in beating him up btw
the amount of haters I see on this app is actually sick lmao as a reader I totally understand every struggle you all go through. It’s so simple to just reblog and make sure others works are shared. anons are so bitchy and ungrateful about EVERYTHING. to keep it simple: if you’re NOT A CONTENT CREATOR ON TUMBLR DOT COM THEN YOUR RUDE INPUTS ARE INVALID. and to whoever is reading this and has ever sent a rude anon at least once in your life, grow up.
brave of anyone to think they could hate my fics more than i do like sit down and live your life peacefully, fellas. nobody ain’t gonna beat me into hating the shit i've written so no need to set your ass on fire and send me hateful words about how suckass my fics are!
/post/613072441071321088/to-silent-readers-its-not-hard-to-not-be-a they do this cause idk, maybe you're pressuring them into doing something they're clearly not interested in? i've never read something of yours before, but i know for a fact i never will. you're an entitled STAN on a public and open social media app, not a published author making money off their writings lmfaooo literally get a grip, you need a reality check like badly
the context of my post was about readers who subscribed to my fics on aff OR liking my tumblr story post. if you don't even read―and will never read―my stories then be quiet!!!!! ♡
Somewhere in all the years I spent avoiding him, I started to admire him. I thought he was just everything I’m not and everything I don’t understand, but maybe he’s everything I’ve always needed.
Characters: Gryffindor!Baekhyun x Slytherin!OC/Reader, Slytherin!Chanyeol
Genre: hogwarts!au
Length: 18.0k+
Tags: fluff, romance, some angst
A/N: no one asked for this but i’ve always wanted to write a hogwarts!au, so this is my fluffy contribution toward celebrating baek’s birthday ♡ happy 28th, my dude!
gif credit to @/wellingtongoose
Spellbound Collab Mini Masterlist
link to Masterlist • link to of firewhisky and exams (AFF)
First of all! You nailed this fic!! Like, for real! The entire time I was reading this it gave me a sense that I am reading the real Harry Potter book and now I just want to grab my books and re-read it. The way you wrote the details of when they’re using their wands and cast a spell is so good that I can imagine it very clearly. I love the Three Broomsticks scene where OC was looking at Baekhyun who hang out with his friends carelessly, like I can definitely visualize how Baekhyun just sitting there, laughing, and having fun without all the care in the world, it is a very nice touch.
(putting it under keep reading bc i dont want to spam)
WHEN ITS BAEKHYUNS BIRTHAY AND SHE GOT UPSET THAT SHE COULDNT SPEND THE DAY WITH HIM BECAUSE EVERYONE IS DRAGGING BAEKHYUN HERE AND THERE IS THE CUTEST THING EVERRRRRRR HONESTLTKSJSLSJS IM COOING AT HER our girl really likes Baekhyunnie huh ; __ ; like lets not deny it shes really whipped for him thus why she avoided him like a plague before Chanyeol ‘bribe’ her HAHAHAHA. The scene where they rode Baekhyun’s broom together is so intimate for me because who the heck will let you ride their precious broom if they’re not in love with the person?!?!? (I hope I'm making some sense). When Baekhyun said to her “I’ve got you.” I LEGIT FUCKING SCREAMED THATS SO HOLY SHIT I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND GET MYSELF TOGETHER. Like fuck fuck fuck them talking about the mundanest thing ever in the sky literally feels like theyre a shoujo manga couple riding a ferris wheel and I know I dont make any god damn sense BUT LISTEN FUCKKKK MY FEELINGS IM HURTING IN A GOOD WAY.
[Silence.] Holy shit the fight between Baekhyun and the Gryffindor’s seeker is making me stopped breathing... WHO KNOWS THE GOOD BOY BYUN BAEKHYUN CAN SNAPPED LIKE THAT LMFAO BOY IS SO WHIPPED FOR OC..... and the way he’s so confident in taunting the seeker.. [shivers]. And holy fuck Baekhyun, what the seeker did is uncalled for and unprofessional for her, but you don’t have to snapped at everyone and make it even more personal with your own issues. Sit your ass down. Being angry is fine but the fact that you let your anger get the best of you and ruined everything you’ve build with OC (and your friends) is /low/!!!!!!!!
OH OH OH OH MY GODDDD the way they got together is so smooth actually?? Like theres no unnecessary push and pull after Baekhyun explained his side of story (he's still a jackass for what happened in the pitch). But I am glad OC didn't push him away and break his heart into million pieces. :") HAAAAHHHHSJSKS WHEN SHE COMFORTED HIM AND TOLD HIM TO TALK TO CHANYEOL AFTER THEIR LAST QUIDDITCH GAME LIKE YES SUPPORTIVE COUPLESSSSSS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
Enough I can't focus FOR REAL LMAO, I just want to say how much I enjoy reading this fic and get to know their characters. It has been awhile since I read a fic that makes me feel EVERYTHINGFGGGGGGGGG and I am glad that you wrote Baekhyun as a Gryffindor like youre the REAL one in here because BBH IS A GRYFFINDOR!!! Okay champ, I'm out!!! Thank you once again!!!
Sometimes any degree of loneliness can bring you down
and while I cannot know for sure, sometimes it seems as if
these tears are no longer tears for having loved someone…
to silent readers: it’s not hard to not be a bitch.
I am writing this rant in a whim out of my frustration of how some silent readers are so entitled to their opinion that they feel like it is okay to invalidate how writers feels whenever their story did not get any feedback.
Actually, I didn’t want to do this rant; but I saw someone who deadass said:
(Plus, I probably won’t be willing to move my fingers anything more than scrolling LMAO)
Like, hold the fuck up.
You are not willing to move your fingers anything more than scrolling BUT you are willing to read someone’s works that took more than fucking scrolling? That is just selfish. Some of us took days, weeks, months, and even YEARS to write something, to spend our time on doing something for FREE just to deliver a content for people.
If you want to be so fucking rude, selfish, and entitled like that DO NOT READ SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE WORK SO HARD FOR.
It is not about numbers, some of us don’t fucking care about numbers. We simply want to be appreciated for our hard work that we did for free.
EDIT (adding to what I said in someone’s comment section about their frustration to silent readers):
As a writer myself, I genuinely find it disheartening to know that I got subscribers who doesn’t even bother to comment about the content I wrote―it made me feel doubtful about my writings; “is the story not good enough that they don’t even bother to comment?”, “is the content too boring for a comment?”, “why did I even take so much time to write but nobody appreciates it?”, and so on.
To everyone who read my comment and is a silent reader: please know that you are selfish for reading without giving a feedback. Authors took days, weeks, and even months to write something, the least thing you can do is to appreciate us by spending your little time to tell us what you feel about the story we wrote―for fucking free, btw―and not just reading, then ditch.
Maybe some of us couldn’t reply every comments; but know that every comments we were getting are something that we keep in heart and is a motivation for us to keep going. :)
losing you is hard, but baekhyun knows ― you’re finally free from every pain and burden you’ve been carrying, and it is enough reason to continue with his life with a smile. a smile that you gave him.
characters: baekhyun and female reader
genre: angst, slice of life
word count: 2.6k
warnings: major character death, mentions of: nicotine addiction, self harm, and suicide.
― note: most of the time, people write as an escape from their real life. and i am one of those people. please take the warnings seriously. i know it is some major, extremely triggering warnings, so please, if you couldn’t take it, do not read this fic.
― disclaimer: i am in no way romanticizing, glorifying, and normalizing all the warnings above. this piece is written for everyone who ever loses someone precious to their life. please stay the strongest, every storm will pass, eventually. for everyone who is struggling, please do not be afraid to seek help, either from friends or professionals. you might think your life didn’t matter, but always remember that you will never be alone and you are loved.
Baekhyun woke up at the feeling of a tongue being pressed against his cheeks; licking around the juncture of his nose. It was hard to open his eyes as he felt the drying tears stuck in between his lashes. He doesn’t remember the last time he didn’t go to sleep without tears in his eyes, neither he remembered when was the last time he woke up to your warmth. Today, as many other days before, he woke up with only An―the cat he rescued all those years ago―by his side.
“Okay, okay, stop, I’ll wake up now.” Baekhyun said as he placed his hand atop of An’s head, slowly scratching the back of her ear. When he was finally able to open his eyes, the whiteness of An’s furr and the brown eyes of hers filled his vision. He smiles, a genuine one.
Getting up isn’t hard, he did it for twenty nine years already, but today is different. It always was different every time he woke up a week before his birthday ever since you were no longer by his side. Today is the beginning of May, a day he will always treasure, because he knows, the first day of May is the month where you feel the happiest.
With a smile on his face, Baekhyun finally gets up to do his morning routine. Today is slower than his usual day, after all, he took the day off from his nine-to-five job. Because today is your day, and he will do everything to make it as special as it could be.
Baekhyun starts off by washing up, getting himself ready for the day. He couldn’t help but to notice how empty his bathroom is now, there are no longer traces of you, only your pink toothbrush stays in the mug together with his. The sight of your toothbrush able to make him form a smile. He remembered the first time you bought it, proudly showing him the couple toothbrush his strawberry patterns all over its handle; the only difference was, his is in blue. His mind wandered to all those days where you stood in front of the faucet, your short pink hair with black roots that he admires so much, formed into a bird's nest after a night's sleep.
Your body wash is no longer present in the bathroom, he had thrown it a long time ago as it already expired. The only remembrance of your scent is the vanilla scented shampoo he still purchases for himself. Memories of the both of you laughing together in the bathroom flashes through his mind, how you always playfully style his shampooed hair into a punk-rock style, how he press gentle kisses around the skin of your back.
When Baekhyun finishes with his shower, he walks to the kitchen, passing the balcony of the living room of his apartment. Nothing changes there, the white translucent curtains are still hanging, the round table with an ashtray on top of it is still there. The only difference was the lack of your presence. He decides to take a walk towards the balcony after he places the food for An, stepping outside to let the warm breeze of spring hit his skin. There’s a sense of familiarity when he looks around to find a pot of faux orchid flowers resting at the corner of the balcony, of course, it was your doing.
The ashtray that you used to snub your cigarettes is clean from its residue, having the owner no longer use it. Baekhyun traces the edge of the ashtray with his fingertips, remembering how happy you were when he gave you the pink ashtray as a present.
“You know, you’re going to ruin every bottle we could recycle because you decided to make it as a makeshift ashtray.” Baekhyun deadpanned, receiving him a series of laughter from you.
“I don’t care enough to buy myself an ashtray.”
Baekhyun shook his head, for an avid smoker like you, you really were careless. He let his eyes wander to your figure, seated nicely with both of your legs up, looking as tiny as ever. The light of the balcony accentuated the pinkness of your hair. You looked beautiful, with your eyes reflecting the glimmering lights from the city, a stick of cigarette between your fingers, and smoke coming out from your mouth. For Baekhyun, looking at you like this brought him a feeling of contentment. Because he knew, you’re most comfortable when you are smoking.
“You know,” Baekhyun starts, still looking at you as if you’re his most prized present, “I never ask you how does smoking feel.”
You turned his head to look at him, dropping the used cigarette inside the bottle you used as an ashtray. “It feels calming,” you slowly start, voice ever so soft as you take another stick from the pack, “like every problem in my life is gone, and it makes me think clearer.” Continues you after you light up the new cigarette.
“Ironically, I know smoking is bad. It destroys my body in ways I dont understand and refuse to acknowledge, but the taste of nicotine in my mouth enables me to forget about everything. I always feel like I couldn’t function whenever I didn’t smoke. And in a way, it is the most calming method of harming myself.”
The first time Baekhyun learned that you were an avid smoker, every fiber of his body wanted you to stop. He still does up until this very moment, but he knew you. He understood you, and if smoking is the only way for you to be able to feel peace, Baekhyun would never want to be the one who took it away from you. With a smile―a tight one―Baekhyun places a pink ashtray on the table, gaining your attention.
“I see. Here’s a little present so we could still recycle the bottles we have.”
You smiled at that, right away pressing the burned side of your cigarette in the ashtray to jump and hug him, telling him how grateful you are for him, “I love you, so much.”. With vanilla and a hint of nicotine smell filled his nose, Baekhyun hugged you back. Ever so tightly, because he never wants to let go.
For the first time of the day, his smiles sadly. Because at the end of the day, even nicotine was unable to save you from all the pain you’ve dealt with.
Today is a good day, the sun shines ever so brightly and it becomes Baekhyun’s companion as he walks inside the cemetery. His hands are full, with one hand holding a bouquet of your favorite, and the other carrying a bag filled with your favorite food and a cake. Baekhyun memorized the way to your resting place, having to visit you for way too many times for him to count.
Once he arrives at where you are resting, he places the bag down on the floor, taking a key from his pocket to open the glass that keeps your ashes safe. There’s a framed picture of you in it, you were smiling so happily that it made Baekhyun’s heart churns in pain. Of course, he remembers what happened in the picture; he was the one who took it when the both of you visited a strawberry farm. The last trip that you went with him before everything went south. He knows, in the full version of the picture you were holding a basket of freshly picked strawberries and the other was holding his hand.
You looked so happy in the picture, the pink beret you wore matched the washed out color of your hair, eyes crinkled into crescent moons. Beautiful, was the word he muttered after he took the picture. Because you are, always will, be beautiful in his eyes. Despite your permanent wounds, your emptiness.. nobody will ever be as beautiful as you when you looked the most carefree in Baekhyun’s eyes.
Baekhyun places the bouquet he brought inside the glass box, replacing the old one. The pink orchid flowers complimented your hair in the picture, after all, pink was your color. After he is done, he takes a box from inside the bag, opening it to reveal a slice of your favorite red velvet cake. There’s a candle stuck on the center of it, in which he lit up with a lighter he bought earlier.
“Happy birthday, princess.” Baekhyun says as he closes his eyes, making his prayer before he blow off the fire.
The start of May is your day. It is a day that Baekhyun treasures, because it is the day where you were born, and the day where you finally reached peace. The day where you are finally able to be happy, without any pain and burden to carry.
“Today, you are officially twenty-six. But it doesn’t matter, because today is the third year you are finally able to be at peace. It was hard at first, that I don’t see you anymore. You should know that your annoying stash of pink hair dye is still inside the cabinet of our bathroom, I bet it’s expired now though.” Baekhyun shook his head, then he smiles, a genuine one with happiness and contentness. “I’m living well, in fact, I just got promoted. If you were here, you would squeak so hard in happiness and my ears will definitely bleed at it, huh?” In the beginning of May after you reached your peace, Baekhyun stood in front of your ashes. Filling you in about his life journey, how everything hasn’t been the same yet everything is finally okay.
Hours passed, the cake and food Baekhyun brought with him all finished alongside the story of his journey. With a final look, he smiles once again. “I miss you, though. Every single day I missed you. Though, I am happy. So happy that you’re finally free from all the pain you’ve been carrying. And I know you’re still here, inside my heart. ‘Till we meet again, princess. I love you, always.”
"Baekhyun? Hey." You nervously run your fingers to the messy tangle of your hair, pushing it back making the natural color of your hair show. "This is so awkward, I apologize for doing this.. I know I must be the worst person ever to do this. At first, I didn't plan to leave you a video message like this, but I realized it would be way too unfair if I didn't." With a sigh, you paused.
"Baekhyun. Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun. Baekhyunnie. Hyunnie. Hyun. Baek. Ah, your name sounds so beautiful that I know I will miss calling it. Remember that one time you got so annoyed at me for repeatedly calling your name without any purpose at all? Yeah, I do remember." A soft, yet sad chuckle left your lips. "I remember you tackled me to our bed to tickle me until I couldn't breathe, you're so mean for that!"
Your mouth was parted for a good minute, not being able to say the words you needed to say. But with a smile that was sadder than the previous one, and your eyes gleaming with fresh tears, you continued. "Being with you... I feel every sort of thing that I didn't know I would be able to feel. The love you made me feel is so beautiful to me, Baekhyun. Because you don't only love me for the good in me, you learned, you tried your hardest to understand all of my flaws, all of my scars, all of the things I hate about myself.. and it is beautiful. The times we spent together are the reasons why I manage to survive to this day. You taught me so many things in life, you showed me the light I never thought I am able to see. I appreciate all of that."
A choked out sob escaped from your mouth, making you exhale for a brief minute.
"Baekhyun. I love you, I love you so much. There is nothing I love more on this earth except you. I don't only love you for the love you give me, but I love you for the littlest things. Like how your lips stretched into a lopsided smile after you teased me, how your laughter sounded so breathless, how even though you have the worst haircut you are still able to pull it off. Then to your amazing personality. Your kindness to people, the way you are never arrogant and always humble nonetheless how successful you are. How loyal you are to your friends, and how you always remember your roots. I love all of them."
On the screen, you were now fully sobbing. Tears running down your face and breathing seemed hard. "Please," you whimpered as you clutch your own chest, "please forgive me for leaving you. For not being brave enough to go pass through the storm that continuously hit me."
You stopped yourself, trying your best to even out your breathing, and once you were done, you looked at the screen again. Now with a smile that no longer looks sad or painful, but a smile that makes you look ever so beautiful. "But, Baekhyun.. This decision that I made.. believe me, it is for the best. I want you to trust me, that I will be okay. Free from everything that chained me and hurt me. Please don't beat yourself over my decision, because it is not your fault. Sometimes, the pain is too much to bear, and I want to be at peace. Regretfully, this is the only way."
With a shaky hand, you placed a kiss on your index and middle fingers before pressing it right where the camera was located. "I love you, Byun Baekhyun. Please don't ever change, please don't ever lose your light. Live the hardest, because even though I am too far away to reach, I will always be by your side. Thrive, Baekhyun. That is my last wish for you. Once again, I love you. And this is not goodbye, because one day, in another lifetime, in another universe, we will meet again.. when that time comes, I hope you will welcome me with the tightest hug and a kiss that leaves me breathless. At last, thank you. For loving me, guiding me, being in my life. Being able to spend my years with you isis the most wonderful gift I will ever receive. I love you, Byun Baekhyun, until the day I stop breathing. Always, and forever."
additional note:
+ the beginning of may = 1 may = my birthday
+ “an” is a part of my real name, yes, i want to be a cat
+ the strawberry patterned toothbrushes are the ones i used, pink for me and blue for my brother
+ my favorite color is pink, and i have a pink beret that match with my hair color (obviously, pink)
+ plastic bottle as a makeshift ashtray is something that i always use, then my boss gifted me a pink ashtray
+ i have boxes of pink hair dye and i know my mom would never throw it away even though its expired and im no longer around
whoever you are, wherever you are, i know some days are hard, and some days are too rough to handle. it’s okay to be vulnerable, you’re only human and vulnerability is not a weakness. but please! always remember to reach your hands out to people to ask for help, because i am sure somebody will take your hand to help you.
be brave. be fearless. make the impossible, possible.
thank you for reading this piece, stay strong, whoever you are.
This is apart of the Beach Bums summer fling collab with writers @blackberrykai @skyesins who are apparently as crazy as me to be taking on another project. Member series will be posted on our individual blogs.
Life is a whirlwind, summer is fleeting, and so are the nights spent with your old classmate, tangled up in his bedsheets and in his superficial world.
Characters: Baekhyun x You
Genre: summer fling!au, beach!au, slice of life
Rated M for explicit smut, drug and alcohol use, and excessive swearing
Other Warnings: surfer!Baek, skater!Baek, lifeguard!Baek, vlogger!Baek, influencer!Baek, Baek with various piercings, Baek with tattoos. Basically he’s hot, tan, athletic, rugged, and almost as famous as Jeffree Star but with less online drama.
Status: Probably starting in June
Tags: NSFW, smut, romance, angst, fluff, friendship, slice of life, drug and alcohol use
A/N: okay so one night @blackberrykai and i were talking about kai’s kkb dreads and then suddenly i went off on a tangent about him as a surfer with tatts and golden af skin. and then this collab was born with kkb baek (bc we obvs need more kkb baek in our lives) and somehow @skyesins was reeled in overnight lmfao so here we go! YA’LL ARE GONNA KILL ME FOR STARTING A NEW PROJECT, I KNOW. I’M SCREAMING AT MYSELF TOO.
gif credit to @/maomi
part 1 | part 2 | …
Beach Bums Collab Mini Masterlist
link to Masterlist • link to ocean avenue (AFF)
If I could find you now things would get better / We could leave this town and run forever / Let your waves crash down on me / And take me away
— Ocean Avenue, Yellowcard
When we were only kids / And our time couldn’t end / And how tall did we stand / With the world in our hands
part of the beach bums summer fling collab with @hkynm and @skyesins. i love you guys to death. THANK YOU. ♡
In a desperate attempt to find inspiration, you went to visit your brother in his villa, only to encounter a boy that made your pictures come to life. Spiraling down what looks to be a summer romance, you realized the heat you got wasn’t just from the sun, but also from a certain surfer boy with tattoos down his arm.
CHARACTERS: Kai x Reader (You)
GENRE: fluff, angst, smut, slice of life
AU(s): big wave surfer!kai, photographer!reader, summer fling!au, beach!au, kokobop era with undercut kai!au, tattoos kai!au
WARNINGS: explicit smut (nsfw), cursing, alcohol and drug use, kai with an eyebrow piercing, kai with tattoos, kai wearing board shorts and holding a surfer board as he walks up from the beach, kai in an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt with a joint in between his lips, basically kai in the sexiest image you could ever think of.
CHAPTERS: part 1 ♡ part 2 ♡ part 3
— if you want to be tagged, reply to this thread or message me!
— playlist:
pink skies - lany: “get ya under pink skies, i know exactly where we should go.”
tonight - kidswaste: “what if we break the rules, tell me that you want me too?”
out of focus - chelsea cutler: “i hate the way you smoke cigarettes when you’re drunk, but you always remember to call me.”
alright - keshi: “with or without you i waited my whole life, i could wait a little longer.”
love again @baekterflyeffect - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
