the secret world starter meme.
change pronouns, tenses, blah blah blah, you’re not stupid.
“Apparently there’s another rule. You don’t livetweet the fight club.”
“And the temptresses…. Such temptresses! Of every hue, every colour of tress.”
“If there is one thing I learned from my time in Louisiana, other than how to make one mean bourbon chicken, it’s man; I hate zombies.”
“Aren’t you a little short to be a Templar?”
“All water coolers are now laced with LSD.”
"And when the guys in capes and chainmail say you’re out of touch, you know, ouch."
“Call me crazy, but I think the bear’s right.”
"Flying this thing is like… Air traffic control, in Silent Hill, I like… totally have rely on The Force you know?”
“Fine! At least when the zombies eat us, it’ll be on clean plates.”
“Good oughta face evil on a full stomach.”
“Give an old dude a red button to press, it’s like Viagra to them.”
“Go dig yourself a hole and jump in it, you f—ing parasite.“
"Giant spiders… giant cockroaches… What’s next, f—in’ circus clowns?”
"Heinous sea monsters react the same way to their buddies getting teabagged as everyone else.”
“If you want to know the nature of a bird, you must observe it in the sky. You do not cut off its wings and shove it in a box.”
“If you want to understand humanity, read the comments on Youtube.”
"I see you know how to follow directions written on the back of a card, it’s the basis of us getting along famously.”
"I have a reputation to uphold as the only thing Scottish and dangerous on this island.”
“I could murder a strawberry smoothie.”
“I’d tell them to go f— themselves, but setting up a video conference regarding self-f—ing would take too much time.“
“You find what killed those people and you bring a reckoning.”
“So many maidens, draped in mysterious heraldry, the houses of Dolche, Gabanna, Dior, Gucci.”
“Your sword is not going any where near my stone.”
“Reckon I must be all thumbs when it comes to secret handshakes.”
“There will be mandatory drug tests starting tomorrow at 8 AM. Please inject your drugs now.”
“That’s the girl I fell in love with, always going for the balls.”
“You’re like the world’s revenge on sarcasm, you know that?”
I’ve tried prayer, I’ve tried my .44, but Satan’s wearing kevlar and bible-thumping just pisses them off.”
"I’ve never been in a house so full of spirits, I had to complete an exorcism just to take a dump.”
“Us survivors holed up in here hoping it’s all just a bad dream and we’ll wake up to the smell of bacon and maple syrup.But unless someone ups and does something, and soon, all we’re gonna wake up to is the smell of rotten flesh. And I don’t need another thing to remind me of my dad.”
“The Illuminati are very achievement focused. It’s like Xbox - only everything is hardcore."
"You’re just like all my characters: f—ed from page one.“
“Stoker is responsible for Twilight. Think about that.”
“What runs dry first, I wonder, black coffee or faith?”
“I’d shake your hand, but the sensation of warm flesh makes my skin crawl.”
“Should there be survivors, you cannot announce that you’ve been chosen to deliver anyone from evil. Joan of Arc did, and look where that got her!”
"What do you call that? Sisyphean? Or is that when you get a burning in your privates?”
“They’re meeting in a car park of all places! Typical Illuminati, they have no sense of style whatsoever.”
