"Society" — a giant, clunky mechanism designed for the production of nonsense. Look at them. They wake up and squander the precious hours of their consciousness trying to find out who ate what, who’s sleeping with whom, and how many colored slips of paper someone else received for sitting in a stuffy office. This isn’t communication; it’s a banal cluttering of the mind.
They fear silence. Do you know why? Because in silence, they are forced to confront the fact that there is a vacuum inside them. Emptiness. That is why they need these questions: "How are you?", "How are your parents?", "Why aren’t you married / working / like everyone else!?". They are trying to build over your inner landscape with their grey, prefabricated blocks, because your "different", "strange", "unintelligible" brain terrifies them.
They find conflicts "hard"? No, they find the truth hard. It is unbearable for them to realize that someone can exist outside their system of coordinates. A refusal to discuss other people's lives is a threat to them. Because if you aren't discussing others, it means you are thinking. And a thinking person is unpredictable. They are dangerous.
And these "advices" of theirs... — the height of absurdity. People who cannot tidy up their own subconscious crawl into your mind with their muddy boots to rearrange the furniture according to their taste. They call it "caring." I call it intellectual vandalism.
Living among them is like trying to play Mozart on an out-of-tune piano in the middle of a crowded train station. You strike a pure note, and they drown it out with shouts about discounts on cabbage!
The world is full of idiots. and the hardest part is not letting them convince you that the idiot here is you.
Sherlock admits to John that he has one thing he has never been able to do, which is tying a tie.
Of course, this is not true, but Sherlock likes watching John mumble stuff like “genius fucking bastard can’t even tie it himself, so pathetic”, while he pulls Sherlock closer by his collar and fumbles with his tie.
Everyone is confused why Holmes refuses to wear anything else now.
This isn't a story about a case. It's about the four clinical minutes John Watson spent forcing air into lungs that had forgotten how to breathe. It’s about the jagged, desperate moment when the "Consulting Detective" becomes just a man, and a soldier finally loses his battle with silence.
Broken glass, bitter coffee, and devotion that borders on pathology
There was no loud explosion. Only the silence of an abandoned dock in Limehouse. Cold metal, the scent of rust and salt water. The "Lead Twilight" case was drawing to a close.
Sherlock had made a mistake. Not in his calculations — in his timing. He’d ended up in the line of fire before John could take his position. The bullet missed his aorta by a millimetre, but the inertia and the fall from the second floor had done their work.
When John reached him, Sherlock wasn't moving. He lay on the concrete floor, pale as a marble statue, while a dark stain spread from beneath his shoulder blade with a terrifying, calm deliberation. In that moment, time didn't just slow down for John — it stopped. The entire world narrowed down to that stain and the tomb-like silence where a pulse should have been.
John didn't remember calling for help. He didn't remember how his hands, slick with blood, tried to stem the wound while he whispered — or screamed? — the same name over and over.
----------------------------
Sherlock lay on the bed, straight as a needle. Every micro-movement echoed through his body with the dull thud of the impact on concrete. His left shoulder was tightly bandaged, and a dark abrasion marked his cheek — a souvenir of the second the world turned upside down and met him with the unforgiving floor of the dock. But the damaged body wasn't the worst part; it was John, sitting in the chair pulled flush against the bed. His gaze was so heavy that Sherlock felt as if he were falling all over again.
"If you intend to continue taking inventory of my injuries with your eyes, John..."
"Shut up, Sherlock. Just... for God's sake, for once in your life, be quiet."
"Quiet? I spent a clinical four minutes in a state of 'quiet' while the ambulance was en route. My brain nearly turned to mush from oxygen deprivation, but even there, I heard you shouting. Your octave was... indecently high for a military doctor."
John wasn't just sitting; he was coiled like a spring about to snap. He couldn't listen to this dry irony; he jerked, and the chair screeched against the floor.
"What bloody octave!?" John stood up, his voice trembling with barely suppressed rage. "You fell twenty feet onto bare concrete, Sherlock! I heard that sound. That... crunch. I ran to you and watched your blood soak into the dust of that godforsaken warehouse. You weren't breathing for nearly two minutes. I was forcing air into your lungs until my own started to burn. And you're mocking my shout?"
John took a sharp, jagged step toward the bed. He hovered over Sherlock, and in his gaze — usually so warm — there now burned a genuine fury, laced with a terrifying, almost painful tenderness.
"You think this is funny?" John hissed, his hand gripping the bedframe directly above Holmes's head. "I saw you empty. You lay there, pale as these damn sheets, and for the first time in my life... I didn't know what to do. All my experience as a field medic turned to nothing the moment I realised it was you."
Sherlock went still, looking directly into John's dilated pupils. The proximity was dangerous. Not the kind found in abandoned docks, but another — piercing, stripping away his will.
"Your devotion... it borders on the pathological," Sherlock whispered. He wanted to say it sharply, but it came out almost tenderly. "How deep do you intend to go in this self-sacrifice of yours? You haven't slept. You smell of cheap coffee and guilt. A guilt that has no place in this room."
Slowly, overcoming the dull ache, he raised his good hand. His fingers, long and thin, brushed John’s cheek. It was a fleeting motion, almost technical — the way one might check the temperature of a reagent. But when his thumb accidentally brushed Watson’s lower lip, the air in the room grew heavy.
His finger was cold, but the touch felt like an electric discharge searing through them both. Holmes felt a frantic pulse beneath his fingertip — fast, jagged, driven by the stress of the past few days. Inside Sherlock's head, switches were flicking, trying to classify the event: Tactical contact. Intensity: high. Purpose: comfort? Cortisol reduction? But the familiar logical chains crumbled before they could even form. These feelings were foreign to him, cumbersome and redundant, like a misplaced gear in a perfect clockwork. He felt a strange, almost indulgent tenderness for this human weakness, for the unbearable fear in John's eyes, yet he remained locked within his analytical armour.
John, feeling that fleeting movement, seemed to lose his footing entirely. That finger... lingering at his lips, was the final push. The anger that had been simmering in his chest for three endless days suddenly burned out, leaving only a scorched void and a desperate need to confirm that this was real.
John leaned in. He lunged forward so suddenly that Sherlock felt his hot, ragged breath, smelling of bitter coffee and insomnia.
When their lips touched, it wasn't like a scene from a cheap romance. There was no passion in this gesture, no conscious "love" of the kind poets sang about. It was an act of desperation, a fragile attempt by two fractured souls to cling to one another above an abyss of concrete and blood.
Sherlock flinched. His body, not yet recovered from the trauma, tensed instinctively. He even winced slightly as a stray movement sent a sharp pain through his damaged shoulder, while John’s lips, trembling and dry, met his own. For a split second, confusion flared in his eyes, almost a rejection — this contact violated every boundary of his sterile world. But then he relaxed, understanding. He didn't respond to the kiss actively, didn't embrace him in return, but he allowed it to happen, taking the weight of the other's grief upon himself.
The kiss was brief and incredibly broken. Trembling lips brushed against each other awkwardly, almost accidentally, creating a strange, nervous friction.
It was a warm breath in the cold vault of Baker Street. A breath of hope that the silence of the docks was behind them, that the crunch of bone was merely a nightmare, and that the pulse beneath his fingers was no hallucination.
When John pulled away, only a few centimetres remained between them, along with the heavy, shared haze of the horror they had survived. Sherlock looked at him —pale, detached — but in the depths of his pupils, usually so icy, something new had taken root. He no longer analysed it aloud. He simply watched as John tried to learn how to breathe again... in his presence.
"The fact is a fact. Everything else is just their meager imagination."
One evening on Baker Street. One unpublished blog post. And one pair of chipped knuckles, which Sherlock noticed earlier than John himself.
Difference in pace
John sat hunched over the table, his finger hovering nervously over the 'Delete' key. On the screen, the draft of a new blog post glowed:
«...and as we ran along the embankment, our hands inadvertently locked. This was dictated solely by the necessity of not losing each other in the crowd and the difference in our pace...» John sighed. It sounded pathetic. Even for him.
"You’re trying too hard to rationalize it, John. It makes your style ponderous and — what’s far worse — unconvincing."
John practically jumped out of his chair. Sherlock was standing in the doorway like a pale spectre in his blue dressing gown. His eyes, sharp and cold, had already scanned everything: from Watson’s tensed shoulders to the pulse thrumming in his neck.
"Sherlock! How many times have I asked you not to creep up... And I’m not... I’m just editing a report."
Holmes glided into the room and stopped directly behind John. He tilted his head, scrutinizing the text on the screen.
"«Dictated solely by a difference in pace»? Seriously?" Sherlock snorted, and John felt the heat of his ironic smile. "Your attempts to justify yourself to an imaginary reader look like a confession of guilt. Are you afraid someone will find your orientation... ambiguous? Or mine? Though you know perfectly well I am above such biological labels."
"I just don't want us to be misunderstood," John grumbled, reaching to close the laptop.
Sherlock’s long, pale hand slid over the lid, preventing it from shutting.
"Listen to me, John. In the world of deduction, there is a rule: unnecessary explanations always point to a weak spot. By trying to prove there was 'nothing to it', you only invite people to look for 'it'. There is no point in justifying yourself — it only attracts unwanted attention and breeds doubt where there was none."
He leaned down, his curls almost brushing John’s ear, and added in a lower voice:
"To the outside world, we are two men who ran hand-in-hand. That is a fact. Everything else is merely their meagre imagination."
John froze. Sherlock straightened up and headed toward the kitchen, leaving a trail of ozone and icy confidence in his wake.
"And do press 'Publish'," he called over his shoulder. "Your heart rate will only return to normal once you stop hiding from your own words."
The laptop shut with a sharp, offended snap. John spun around in his chair, his ears burning with indignation.
"You know what, Sherlock!" he shouted at the retreating dressing gown. "Your arrogance is off the charts sometimes! Just because you don't care about your reputation doesn't mean I have to make myself look like... well, you know what, for the amusement of all London! It’s a matter of basic dignity!"
From the kitchen came the clink of glass and a suspicious hissing from a Bunsen burner.
"Dignity is a social construct, John," Sherlock called back without turning. "You’re wasting far too many calories worrying about what the local grocer thinks. Better to think about why that grocer has traces of blue clay on his boots — clay that hasn't been seen within ten miles of here."
"I’m not talking about clay!" John stood up and marched decisively toward the kitchen. "I’m talking about the way you constantly..."
John burst into the kitchen, chest puffed out for a fresh tirade. Sherlock stood with his back to him, hunched over a cutting board covered not in food, but in newspaper scraps and strange microscopic slides.
"You’re constantly inside my head like it's your own pocket! It’s unbearable, it’s..."
The moment John opened his mouth for the final "...shameless!", Sherlock spun around. The movement was so swift and precise that John didn't even have time to flinch.
"Hold this," Holmes snapped, thrusting a heavy, cold object into Watson’s startled hands. John caught it instinctively. It was an antique copper candlestick, smelling suspiciously of something acidic.
"Why am I holding this?.." John stood still, his anger vanishing instantly, replaced by total bewilderment.
"That is the key to tomorrow morning," Sherlock said, wiping his hands on a towel, a dangerous, familiar glint of excitement in his eyes. "At eight-forty-five tomorrow, we need to be at Harrow-well Manor. The Case of the Missing Heir, John. And I need you there. Not as my biographer, or even as a doctor."
He stepped closer, looking John straight in the eye, his voice turning solemn.
"I need your soldier’s eyes and your ability to spot what people usually hide behind their 'normality'. Are you coming?"
John looked at the candlestick, then at Sherlock, who stood so close that the gas flame reflected in his pupils. All the indignation suddenly seemed trivial compared to the call.
"Eight-forty-five?" John asked quietly, feeling the familiar rush.
"Exactly," Sherlock gave a faint, fleeting smile and tapped John on the shoulder before returning to his vials. "And don't forget your service revolver. It’s not the sort of place for handshakes."
John walked up the stairs, each step echoing with a grumbling internal monologue.
«Unbearable. Simply unbearable,» he told himself. «Pokes around in my soul, throws antiques at me, and then acts like he's saving the world. And he knows, damn him, that I won’t say no...»
He had reached his door when a lazy, perfectly clear voice drifted up from the kitchen:
"John! And do try to keep your thoughts down! Your indignation is vibrating through the floorboards so loudly it’s upsetting my microscope."
John froze, hand on the doorknob, mouth agape.
"And take some iodine with you!" Sherlock added, his voice carrying that hint of 'concern' he always masked as an instruction. "Your knuckles... you scraped them climbing that fence. It would be a pity if my colleague couldn't hold a revolver tomorrow because of a trivial infection. Goodnight, Watson."
John stood for a moment, staring into the dark hallway. The anger had completely deflated, leaving only a strange, warm exhaustion. He looked at his hands — sure enough, abrasions.
"Goodnight, Sherlock," he muttered, stepping into his room.
Sometimes the Mind Palace gets too noisy, and the only solution is a very narrow bed and a silent promise: You're not alone.
On Baker Street
It had been a rough night. Outside, the London rain was relentless, hammering against the glass as if trying to break into the room. John had already turned off the light and was drifting off when he heard a faint, hesitant knock.
He opened his eyes. The door creaked open, and in the sliver of light from the hallway, he saw Sherlock’s silhouette. No coat, no dressing gown—just a thin white shirt, unbuttoned at the collar. He looked pale, almost translucent in the shadows. His shoulders were tense, and his eyes—usually so sharp and focused—were darting around the room, searching for something to hold onto.
"John..." his voice was barely a whisper, quieter than the rain. "The Mind Palace... it’s too loud tonight. The boredom has turned into something... corrosive."
John sat up instantly, throwing back the duvet. His medical brain kicked in—Sherlock looked like he’d just been pulled out of a freezer.
"Sherlock, you’re freezing," John said softly, hiding his worry. "What happened? Another experiment?"
"No. Just... melancholy. It tends to thicken when the city goes quiet," Sherlock replied, stepping inside and awkwardly hugging his elbows. "I don’t want to be alone. Can I... stay here?"
John froze for a second. His heart skipped a beat, but he just nodded, keeping that distance that was their shared shield.
"Sure. Take the armchair, Sherlock. Grab the throw. I was going to sleep, but if you need to read or just sit in the dark—it’s yours. And there’s enough room on the bed, I promise I won't be in your way."
Sherlock didn't say anything. He silently sank into the deep armchair by the window, disappearing into the shadows. John lay back down and pulled up the duvet. For an hour, the room was silent, save for John’s breathing and the distant roll of thunder.
He was almost asleep when he felt a movement. A soft rustle of fabric, a floorboard creaking. He kept his eyes closed, feeling the mattress dip on the other side.
Sherlock had slipped under the edge of the duvet like a shadow. He lay right on the edge, rigid and still, as if he was terrified of being an intrusion. John lay with his back to him, sensing the cold radiating off Sherlock’s frame. And then...
John flinched. Under the covers, a hand—long, thin, and ice-cold—slid tentatively forward. His fingers brushed against John’s shoulder blade through the pyjama fabric. It wasn't an embrace; it was the gesture of someone drowning, reaching for anything solid in the dark. The fingers were trembling slightly as they pressed against his back, as if Sherlock was trying to warm himself just by being near another person.
John didn't move. He didn't ask questions. He knew that if he said anything, Sherlock would build his walls back up and vanish. Instead, John just reached back and covered those frozen fingers with his own hand, a silent promise: I’m here. You’re not alone.
Sherlock let out a long, shaky breath. The tension in his body finally began to melt. The trembling stopped, and after a few minutes, John felt his breathing go deep and steady.
Curiosity got the better of him. John slowly rolled onto his side, the mattress creaking. In the half-light, Sherlock’s face looked like it was carved from ivory. His eyes were shut, but the twitch of his lashes gave him away—the brain was still working.
"Your pupils are dilated, your pulse is up, and your breathing broke rhythm two minutes ago," Sherlock muttered, his lips barely moving. "You’re studying me like I’m a specimen in a lab, John. It’s... exhausting."
"I’m studying a man who managed to get a deathly chill in his own living room," John retorted quietly.
The bed was definitely too small for the two of them. To fit, Sherlock had to tuck his endless legs up. In the cramped space under the heavy duvet, the usual barriers were falling apart.
"You're still cold," John stated. It wasn't a question.
Sherlock’s eyes snapped open—sharp, brilliant, and wide awake. He stared at John with that mask-like intensity.
"Your deductions are, as usual, superficial, Watson," he countered, though his shoulder gave a traitorous shiver. "The room temperature has dropped two degrees; it's a natural vascular reaction. Nothing more."
He tried to straighten up to regain some dignity, but the bed was merciless. His heel hit the footboard, and his knee bumped awkwardly against John’s hip. A heavy, almost tangible awkwardness filled the room.
"Look," John whispered with a wry smile. "I apologize, but this bed was never designed for someone with your... anatomical reach. It’s short enough for me; for you, it must be torture."
"It’s... a miscalculation in interior planning," Sherlock exhaled, staring at the space between them.
John was also on his side, facing Sherlock. In the dark, he could see the silhouette of his face and the tension in his neck. John kept his hand under his head, trying to stay casual despite the heartbeat thumping in his chest.
"You'll have to lie diagonally if you want to stretch out," John noted. "But then you'll kick me onto the floor, and as the owner of this room, I'm protesting that."
Sherlock gave a faint huff of a laugh. He shifted carefully under the covers, tucking his knees in. John, feeling that Sherlock had finished his maneuvers, decided that staring directly into the face of the world's greatest detective was a bit much for one night. He slowly rolled onto his back, staring at the dark ceiling.
The mattress sprung under his weight. Now John was lying flat, and Sherlock was on his side next to him, a sharp, angular silhouette.
"You know, Sherlock," John said, his voice sounding surprisingly loud in the quiet. "In Afghanistan, I slept on rocks, in the mud, under fire. But I swear, it felt... more spacious than this."
"Space is subjective, John," Sherlock muttered, eyes closed.
"I'm not used to a six-foot-something flatmate trying to curl into a ball while still taking up three-quarters of the bed," John teased, turning his head slightly toward him. "If you move your knees any closer to the center, I’m going to have to sleep on the bedside table."
Sherlock opened one eye. A spark of his usual competitive spirit glinted in the dark.
"I could calculate the trajectory of your fall if that would help you relax," he parried, but he moved back a few inches toward the edge, nearly slipping off.
John gave a short, quiet laugh—the kind that always acted like a sedative for Sherlock.
"Don't," John said softly, stopping him. "Move back, Sherlock. I don't want to explain to Mrs. Hudson tomorrow why you're sleeping on the rug."
Sherlock hesitated, then slid back toward the center. The black, cloying boredom that had been eating him alive an hour ago just... evaporated. It was replaced by a strange sense of safety. It wasn't logical, but it was there—in the shared warmth and the way their shoulders occasionally brushed.
"John?" Sherlock called, just as they were both drifting off.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For... not asking unnecessary questions."
"Go to sleep, Sherlock," John’s voice was thick with sleep. "And move your knee; you’re invading my territory again."
Sherlock obediently tucked his legs in, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He closed his eyes, feeling the 'noise' in his head finally go quiet. That night, the Great Detective didn't analyze the world. He just slept, knowing he wasn't alone.
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