Learning. Growing. Traveling.

a blog of randomness :)

[baloobajew]

Hi PBJ Boy,

Todays a day when it hurts. It has hit me again that you’re gone. I’m starting to accept you’re not coming back and that’s the part that hurts the most. My heart aches. You won’t be able to see all my accomplishments. You won’t be able to see this little guy grow up. I’m okay most days, but when the realization comes that you’re gone. It’s a rough day. Never did I think this would be me. How do I do the rest of my life without you? It hasn’t even been a year. This is hard.

I know you fought hard. I didn’t realize how hard it was. But you didn’t give up. You were strong.

I won’t forget you. We won’t forget you.

[baloobajew]

Hey Bama,

It’s been a month since you’ve been gone and it still doesn’t feel real. I’m still waiting for your call or waiting for you to message me on Facebook. Everyday I wait, but I know it’s not coming. I miss you. We all miss you. We have sad days and sometimes don’t really talk about it, but we are all thinking about you. It really does suck. I’m okay though. I think about you every day.

Mom and Dad are sad, but haven’t really shown it. N preached about you and it was good. I wish you would have called me or something.

The kids will be okay. We won’t let anyone forget about you.

[soul-rehab]

When it is sent by God it comes with confirmation. But when it isn’t sent by God, it will come with hesitation, frustration and confusion.

[sheabutterbitch]

Today will be a great day, because I said so.

[baloobajew]

There was no need to reassess. There will never be a need to do so. You know. I know. But I don’t let go.

[gratitudechangesthings-deactiva]

I think someone I date would have to understand how deeply I am in love with Jesus. I’m super, super in love with Jesus and it affects what interests me and what holds my attention. So some things I care for and some things not so much - if you get my drift.

[baloobajew]

While you were gone.

I was fine. Actually really fine. No cares. No thoughts. But then you returned and all the feelings were back.

[baloobajew]

Every story is still being written. Your story isn’t over yet.

[tellyjpg]

sleeping is nice until u wake up and realize ur still sad lol

[baloobajew]

Everything attached to me wins.

“Anybody can fight, but the question is, can you win?”

[baloobajew]

I really gotta stop overthinking.

[baloobajew]

Fully Known & Loved By You

[baloobajew]

I love being black.

I never saw me for me. But I see me now.

I’m educated. I’m adventurous. I’m funny. I’m kind.

I’m growing. I’m learning.

I see my worth.

[baloobajew]

It’s like I want a relationship, but don’t want the chances of getting hurt again. I liked you....a lot. But you don’t want what I want, and I have to be okay with that. Having you around is better than letting go. But I wonder if letting go is the growth I need?

[wofew]

Dear future husband, Whoever you are…I am starting to grow impatient. I can’t wait to meet you. I hope you think about me as much as I think about you. I hope your heart skips a beat when you think about our future together, I know that mine does. I have been praying for you and maybe someday, we can pray together too. I want us to put God first in our relationship, always. I have a problem and that is that I tend to doubt myself a lot. I want you to be there to comfort me when I’m feeling this way. I can’t wait to hold your hand, wake up beside you, and eat a bowl of Coco Puffs with you. I can’t wait to cuddle with you on the couch, eat popcorn, and watch stupid comedies. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see me for the first time, wearing a beautiful wedding dress. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you hold our child for the first time. That’s another thing I must mention, family. By putting God first, I want us to put family second. I’m really scared to have babies. You see, I’m afraid of the pain. I’m afraid that I’ll be a terrible mother and that I’ll fail our children. I really need your help because I can’t do it alone. I’m going to need you hold my hand when I’m giving birth. I’m going to need you to love our children as much as I do. I hope you can grow to understand my obsessions. I hope that you can grow to understand that I may never be emotionally stable. I want us to always keep a big jar of pickles in the fridge. I want us to not keep secrets and I want us to be on the same page. I don’t want to fight and I know that someday, there may be a few. I want us to get through those hard times because I know that every marriage can be a struggle at times. I don’t want you do give up on us. Please. Please. Please. Staying together forever is important to me. I take love very seriously and I don’t want us to rush into our lives. I want to enjoy our time together before we take a step and decide to have a family. I want us to be stable, both financially and emotionally. I want to take things slow and when the time comes, I want you to be supportive. I really hope that you are one to make me laugh because I love laughing. I hope that you are one to kiss me goodnight and hold me when I cry. I hope that you are one who listens and cares about what I have to say. Lastly, I love you. I have loved you since the day I was born and I don’t even know you yet. Well, at least I don’t think I know you yet. Maybe we have crossed paths and just don’t know it yet. So, whoever you are and wherever you are in this world, I hope you have loved me your whole life too. My love, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you…whenever that is. Love, Your Future Wife

Sierra Zuberer (via wofew)

[baloobajew]

Tumblr...it’s been awhile! 

I done graduated undergrad and grad school! 

I’m doing big girl things.

Many broken hearts.

Many lost friendships.

Traveling.

Growing.

Still choosing Joy.

[softjimis]