Nanafabax

Lord of all Banana Facts

[banafanax]

The Count of Monte Cristo, but he gets back into town to get revenge on Villefort, Danglars, and Fernand only to find they and their families kept their noses clean for the last 15 years. And then he just kills them in the night because it wasn't really about being right and smug, sometimes you just want to get revenge.

The Count of Monte Cristo, but he gets back into town to get revenge on Villefort, Danglars, and Fernand only to find they've all seemingly had justice exacted on them just like the end of the original: Fernand is disgraced and dead, Danglars is moneyless in prison, and Villefort is insane after his fall from grace and the loss of his family. Is Edmond/The Count happy with the result that had nothing to do with him?

The Count of Monte Cristo, but he doesn't get rich and lives a happy life in Italy instead; never seeing anyone from his former world. Is this a worse story?

Just some thoughts after watching the PBS Masterpiece series (which was excellent by the way).

[dogpuppy]

[banafanax]

The Grinch is Wario Santa. Would the Grinch's Wario be Santa? Do two Warios make a Mario?

[banafanax]

Now that I think about it, Satan is probably Wario Santa. Satan even follows the Wario convention of having a slightly altered name as his hero counterpart.

[dogpuppy]

[banafanax]

The Grinch is Wario Santa. Would the Grinch's Wario be Santa? Do two Warios make a Mario?

[banafanax]

Just got recommended one of those "I cheated/griefed/lagged this Minecraft server" videos, but instead of it being one of those videos where some guy floods the economy of some soulless pay-to-win server, he used X-ray cheats on a normal, nice server.

At first it started like all the others where he was sneaking from the moderators and laughing about how easy it was.

Midway through he opened a shop as a money laundering front. He used cheats to get Netherite in a semi-plausible way, and then bought his own stock using his cheated diamonds.

That's when the video changed in the funniest way. The nice people of the server started praising him for being such a good player. He formed a group of friends and even had fun playing games with him. They shared their lives with him. His friends even invited him to join their discord and play on a private server with them. Then just like every story about shame his cheating turned into a dark secret at the foundation of all of his relationships.

And then instead of learning a lesson, feeling guilty, or coming clean, he just acts like an asshat, cheats harder, distances himself from his friends, and lies harder in the most stereotypical Minecraft YouTuber way. It was honestly an astounding show of idiocy.

[banafanax]

Hi conservatives, there seems to have been a mix-up. Freedom of Speech is what stops the government from using its power to punish you for your words. Freedom of Speech does not stop everyone in between from being upset by your words.

Celebrity uses the N-word? Rapper supports Hitler? President rapes children? The market of attention has every right to devalue them.

The president silences late night hosts? Congress holds all of the social media CEOs accountable because Congress/Trump is upset that people keep quoting Charlie Kirk's words back to them? The president, vice president, and FBI saying that they will hunt down and eradicate the left?

I don't even need to explain it.

If you think that this is a win for you personally, you're sorely mistaken. There are no winners. We all lose our rights together. The groundwork being laid can easily swing to take out anyone reading this. None of us are safe.

[banafanax]

This is the feeling. Gun violence is terrible. Guns should have been regulated long ago. Unlike many of Charlie's supporters, I was sad when the elementary schools, the concerts, the theaters, the gay bars, the college campuses, the high schools, the workplaces, the malls, and the streets were shot up by overwhelmingly conservative white men. I was upset when Trump was almost killed because it was just some disillusioned guy trying to take democracy away with a gun. And I am upset that some guy in my home state and from my childhood religion shot Charlie Kirk. Disagreeing with someone is not a crime, and it's certainly not a crime worth a vigilante death sentence. I have never been pro gun violence.

On the other hand, Charlie Kirk is one of the few public figures that has stated that gun violence is not preventable if we don't regulate guns, and he explicitly stated that the cost in human lives is worth not having gun regulations. From what we know of Charlie, he was fine dying to gun violence if it kept guns unregulated.

[banafanax]

Man, the Christianity ARG is so ass now. Too many sweats. I don't have time to farm karma on TikTok by posting Bible verses with cool formatting. And don't get me started on how unbalanced the Christian Nationalism DLC campaign is. Players that didn't even put their skill points into Charity get a huge performance buff, meanwhile the OGs who tried to follow the Jesus tutorial are getting punished because they can't do the opposite of what the ARG told them to do. Don't get me started on the cryptominer malware in the DLC. You'd think some of these people were playing the game like they thought it was real life or something.

[banafanax]

Man, I don't care who wins the war on Christmas, I just hope that everyone has a good time playing the game.

[banafanax]

You wander the Eldritch halls, sterile and unimaginably tall. You find organic matter where the ground meets the... Ground? But But this ground wrongs your sensibilities. The organic detritus in the space between smells sickly of rot. You pass the corpse of an alien— nay a creature that you call a predator at home. And yet here it lays undecaying. If a creature like that cannot survive here, how will you?

You wander for days sustaining yourself on what little food and...liquid you find suitable enough to eat. You wonder if death will meet you before you choose to greet death on your own terms.

The room darkens. The ground shakes. You sense an immensity of Power you cannot fathom. You freeze, hoping the Power will leave without passing judgment on you. The shaking stops. You dash to hide.

You are too slow. The Power seizes you. Your left arm shatters. And then you are flying on a platform of ¥̷̡͉͍̄́͒̈́€̴̥͐͗̒̋¢̴̝͓͙̻̿̈ͅ¥̶͍͖͓̦̙̒́̎✓̴͉̠̄̕͝ . The Power Shows you. You understand your smallness and insignificance. The Power (Powers?) made a world (worlds)? for themselves to isolate themselves from the outside world(s).

With a flash of light your world reappears, and you fall down to the world you know. You are changed. You are broken. But you survived an encounter with a being that should have killed you.

You are the isopod I found on the linoleum floor of my office. And I spared you because I hope a creature greater than my comprehension would spare me.

[banafanax]

This, but about those studies of bug populations where they drive a car and count the number of dead bug smears on the car in an attempt to make people aware of declining bug populations. That would make a good Junji Ito story.

[banafanax]

You wander the Eldritch halls, sterile and unimaginably tall. You find organic matter where the ground meets the... Ground? But But this ground wrongs your sensibilities. The organic detritus in the space between smells sickly of rot. You pass the corpse of an alien— nay a creature that you call a predator at home. And yet here it lays undecaying. If a creature like that cannot survive here, how will you?

You wander for days sustaining yourself on what little food and...liquid you find suitable enough to eat. You wonder if death will meet you before you choose to greet death on your own terms.

The room darkens. The ground shakes. You sense an immensity of Power you cannot fathom. You freeze, hoping the Power will leave without passing judgment on you. The shaking stops. You dash to hide.

You are too slow. The Power seizes you. Your left arm shatters. And then you are flying on a platform of ¥̷̡͉͍̄́͒̈́€̴̥͐͗̒̋¢̴̝͓͙̻̿̈ͅ¥̶͍͖͓̦̙̒́̎✓̴͉̠̄̕͝ . The Power Shows you. You understand your smallness and insignificance. The Power (Powers?) made a world (worlds)? for themselves to isolate themselves from the outside world(s).

With a flash of light your world reappears, and you fall down to the world you know. You are changed. You are broken. But you survived an encounter with a being that should have killed you.

You are the isopod I found on the linoleum floor of my office. And I spared you because I hope a creature greater than my comprehension would spare me.

[banafanax]

My shitty comic explaining why the prices for everything seem to have "mysteriously" risen. The old people in control have no idea how to regulate a computer algorithm that tells everyone to raise prices together.

[banafanax]

It's your accountant's 50th birthday! Do you:

1. Send him a generic letter expressing your gratitude in helping you with your money.

2. Write him a letter with contents such as "Happy Birthday — and may every day be another wonderful secret," with a drawing of breasts and your signature as public hair, the words "enigmas never age," and "to have your childlike curiosity," and photographs of "lions and zebras mating, and a zebra with its penis visible."

[banafanax]

New Tumblr IRL secret identifier: play "Never have I ever" as a get to know you game, but make the only question "Voted for Donald Trump" and then run away from anyone still sitting. We're YEARS past the paradox of tolerance tipping point, and things are well into Nazi territory.

[banafanax]

Let's Friendly Giant, Big Fucking Go

Lithium Iron Go, Let's Fucking Phosphate

Liquid Fucking Gas, Let's Natural Go

Life's Fucking Good, Let's Go

Æughhhh, had to get that out of my system

[banafanax]

Billionaire math time! Let's compare $1 to $7000. You'd be hard pressed to buy a standard Snickers bar for much less than a dollar in 2025, but with $7000 you could buy a used 2013 Nissan Altima with 100,000 miles on it (even today). I think this is a pretty familiar numerical realm for most of us.

Let's move up a level. $7,000 is to $1 as $49,000,000 is to $7,000. This is the unequivocally wealthy threshold. People with wealth in this range own yachts. Most celebrities have wealth under $50 million. Most of us could retire with a tenth of that.

Let's move up a level. $7,000 is to $1 and $49,000,000 is to $7,000 as $343,000,000,000 is to $49,000,000 dollars. This is Elon Musk's net worth. Scratch that, this is SIXTY BILLION DOLLARS LESS THAN Elon Musk's current net worth. Even after the Nazi salutes, the ketamine benders, the government infiltration, and just being a general fuckwad, Elon Musk can look down on people with $50 million dollars like those people look down on most of us.

Tax the rich. Eat the rich. Whatever is quickest.

[probablybadrpgideas]

The government in your traditional, steampunk setting, has decided to put a steep bounty on any rust monster.

This goes about as well, as this sort of thing tends to.

­From my knowledge of history, this will only end with happiness!

[banafanax]

Following the history of the cobra bounty incident, but keeping in mind the enormous size of rust monsters:

The government realizes the bounty only makes people breed rust monsters, so they drop the bounty. The government is out of tons of money. Monster breeders let all of their rust monsters loose. There are 100x times as many rust monsters as before, and there are a bunch of people that have lost their income source. Many turn to crime to recoup their losses.

Ravenous rust monsters eat all of the ferrous metals, then every other metal that they can obtain (as per the DnD description). Not only do most non-magical weapons decay, but infrastructure like plows, carts, signs, pipes, pots, and pans rust away. Many die from starvation just from a lack of tools and tool alternatives. Many get injured or killed by ravenous subterranean rust monsters which are about the size of an adult human. Many rust monsters breed during the initial food surplus leading to an even greater plague. The metal dries up and ravenous rust monsters get desperate, injuring/killing people on sight.

The rust monsters begin to die off as their food niche is depleted, but now the second wave of plague begins as enormous rust monster corpses provide food for another ecosystem. Groundwater is poisoned by the sheer number of rotting subterranean corpses. Insects of all kinds experience a massive population boom, which turns into a plague of epic proportions as the nutrient dense rust monster corpses are deleted. Other animals experience mass population booms such as birds eating insects, then wolves eating birds, until there's an excess of hungry carnivores who have eaten all of their enormous, but limited food supply. Livestock and humans alike are stalked and eaten by carnivores.

You are an adventurer who stumbles on this apocalyptic desolation the year following this debacle, trying to piece together what went wrong.

[banafanax]

Dunning-Kruger effect, but about emotional intelligence: The most kind and empathetic people I know experience kindness/empathy imposter syndrome because they know they can be better, whereas the most disconnected and apathetic people I know claim to be Mother Theresa incarcerate.