father of many matts

my child support bills are awful

[singerrrsongwriterrr-deactivate]

Why did you pick your URL?

[tuba--god]

Because I am a cosmic omnipotent being that had special powers concerning the best instrument tuba

[uberfluss]

i will fight you on this again tuba thot

[tuba--god]

Run along mortal, do you even know what omnipotent means? I will smite you

[uberfluss]

try me bitch

[tuba--god]

Не искушай меня смертным

[uberfluss]

das gleiche dir Schlampe

[tuba--god]

Знаете ли вы, что означает всемогущий? Я мог бы уничтожить вас мыслью. Du bist nichts. sono tutto. أنت نملة. Ek is ‘n god.

[uberfluss]

fucking try me. I know im nothing thats why im doing this dumbass. i have literally nothing to loose.  if your a god you’re a lame excuse of one

[tuba--god]

That was depressing. 

[uberfluss]

not as depressing as I am you literally can do nothing to me 

[tuba--god]

My one weakness! People who I can’t do anything more to than has already happened.

[band-god]

#basically myself #That's why band-god can't do anything to me

that comment alone resurrected me.

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

no offense but if you woo at the end of high school musicals consider calming down

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

theyre teen theater kids. if their egos get any more inflated theyre going to end up on a deviantart kink page. shut UP

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

this wz Gontroversial i see

[official-antonin-dvorak]

You were so close to the truth and then betrayed myself and every other citizen of good standing.

[classical-crap]

“I’m so glad I’m not a wind or brass player,” I say, stuffing five pieces of bread in my mouth as I play a vivaldi concerto

[flutejesus]

i hate this

[deactivated-blog]

Who says you can’t play and eat?

[band-god]

i do, and your insturment begs of you

[official-tromport]

in a historic merger, the Offical part of the music fandom is buying the -jesus and carp parts

[band-god]

official-fish-jesus

[classical-crap]

has science gone too far

[classicalcarp-deactivated201805]

wrong. it’s offishial-jesus

[band-god]

[official-tromport]

in a historic merger, the Offical part of the music fandom is buying the -jesus and carp parts

[band-god]

official-fish-jesus

[classical-crap]

has science gone too far

[band-god]

[official-tromport]

in a historic merger, the Offical part of the music fandom is buying the -jesus and carp parts

[band-god]

official-fish-jesus

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

good news for trombones everywhere.

[nakedmole-rat-deactivated202503]

Yo it me!!

[flutejesus]

There is nothing here I don’t have questions about

[band-god]

hey can someone transcribe and play the "Music is my Life" piece down there? i wanna know how much of a pitstain it is

[band-god]

one of the things that really bothers me about the notes on that "stem and the arts are not mutually exclusive" post i made is all the people who go "its called steam hunty ;)))))"

consider THIS: the arts and humanities are valuable regardless of how much they tie into stem, and only letting arts programs survive on the congingency of being useful to stem is not actually the ideal situation

[band-god]

Ah,yes.'Tis I,the new addition to your 'deity squad'.I shall go with the flutes now.

this is wild

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

hey for all my transmasc followers, transthethics is hosting a giveaway for a packing boy https://goo.gl/WbE98B 

[heytherepeaches-deactivated2019]

#99: Smoking PSA

Reblog to keep other transwomen in the know! If I can quit, you can quit. We can get through this together and become stronger, healthier, cuter people for it!

“Peach Fuzz” is a Patreon-funded comic strip supported by incredible fans like you! Amounts pledged keep the strip afloat, aid my transition, and earn you all sorts of goodies from me, including getting all the strips before anyone else!

HTTPS://WWW.PATREON.COM/PEACHFUZZCOMICS

[woodwind-goddess]

I'm feeling really good today

Which is a really weird feeling for me, especially in the summer. Like, I looked in the mirror and didn’t feel disgust or misery or dread for the day, and holy crap, is this how people normally feel? Cuz it’s amazing.

Do people normally wake up and look at their hair and think, wow, my hair makes my face look really good, or, my eyes are really pretty, or, I look amazing in this shirt and no one can tell me otherwise? Because this feels amazing and I think I’m actually dreaming

[flutejesus]

THIS IS HOW YOU DESERVE TO FEEL SLAY QUEEN SLAY

[band-god]

oh this is such a happy post and it makes me happy

[band-god]

Is there a master post of all the god and Jesus blogs I'm not following enough of you

nah, there are too many. sadly a lot of good blogs fall through the cracks bc of that

[flutejesus]

@magnifikilljoy there is a master post I know because I made one, and found an even bigger one (i only did deity blogs, they did all music blogs) There are literally hundreds I do not remember where anything went though so

[tuba--god]

I feel like an ass tonight :(

[granolaviola-deactivated2018041]

Uncle!! You’re not an ass. :( You’re the coolest uncle ever with the coolest ranch.

[flutejesus]

why does everyone own a ranch and speak russian

[orchestra-god]

good question. @band-god??? help

[band-god]

i speak russian bc a cool character does idk about y'all

[clarinet-jesus]

Do all of the "Jesus" accounts go to the same school?

nope, most of us don’t actually know each other, but i go to school with @tuba-jesus @saxophone-jesus and @realdonaldtrumpet

[drumline-jesus]

I don’t even think we’re in the same states.

[flutejesus]

I’ve talked to have of us and we arent

[nakedmole-rat-deactivated202503]

@drumline-jesus I know were not in the same country

[flutejesus]

you aren’t

[trumpet-jesus]

Yall would never survive if we were in the same school cause all the bickering that goes on

[granolaviola-deactivated2018041]

Our school is an anarchy anyways so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[maestro-satan]

@mezzo-satan @clarinet-satan I think us Satan accounts should get more recognition… why is it all about the Jesus ones?

[orchestra-god]

we love you guys regardless if you’re jesus or satan it’s just that sometimes its hard to keep track of everyone in the bandtheon bc it’s grown tremendously. @band-god we should make a new list

[band-god]

yes we should

[band-god]

Is there a master post of all the god and Jesus blogs I'm not following enough of you

nah, there are too many. sadly a lot of good blogs fall through the cracks bc of that

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

shoutout to the LGBT+ band kids who didn’t come out yesterday. you are still valid and you will still have your band family no matter who you are inside

[huiranghaes-deactivated20240926]

Ayyy lmao lgbt+ isn’t a fun and games. I joined marching band and you know what the first thing our percussion director said? “Not again” We get crazy dude.

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

hey genuine question: what the fuck does this mean

[drumline-jesus]

We have a freshman transgirl in our band now, a smol little trumpet with bubblegum pink hair. Very sweet. And a bunch of stupid little bitch boys were saying shit behind her back and gross crap that doesn’t even need to EVER be repeated.

Let’s just say they got the full terror instilled by yours truly and Dads, Brother, Do you bless me to murder them if they open their mouthes again or lay a hand on her?

I’m not even joking so help me I will crack them over the head with Bass 5 mid show.

[retired-trumpet-god]

Do you want help with them? I’ll gladly fight them with you. I’m not down with murder, but I’m perfectly willing to snap limbs.

[drumline-jesus]

BASS FIVE TO THE HEAD

[woodwind-goddess]

Mind if I join in the murder and dismemberment if these shitholes?

[exo-orbiter-1983]

We wouldn’t mind getting to help either

[flutejesus]

I WILL FIGHT THEM ALL FOR YOU RIGHT AFTER I FINISH KICKING THE ASSES OF THE FUCBOIS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH

[band-god]

the band gang is getting wild