⌠ VERNON CHOI, 23, AGENDER, HE/THEY ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ALPHONSE KANG! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in DRIVER’S ED AND KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (worn doc martens, the glow of a computer screen, empty cornfields, cartoon bandaids over blisters). when it’s the (gemini)’s birthday on 06/18/1997, they always request their CHOCOLATE STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.
hi i’m kiwi (26/usually pst but currently cst rip) and i would apologize for alphonse but actually i love them??
the only thing you really need to know is that they are a lil alt/punk farm boi and tended to cows with black flag playing in the background
also al is not pretentious about music they will go from kill lincoln to hatsune miku in a matter of seconds please also the double g in the url stands for girl groups.
ults are red velvet & dreamcatcher before anyone asks
ANYWAY so some background on alphonse their mom comes from old money but her parents cut her off because they’re uh racist and didn’t want her with al’s dad and it all went down when she was like i’m pregnant and we’re getting married teehee
so with the money they had saved the kang family ended up starting a small farm in south carolina and al was born and raised with the chickens uwu
they do have an accent that they’ve worked hard to hide it as much as possible, but it does come out when they’re relaxed and around close friends
damn why is this taking me so long i didn’t really think anything through huh
oh oh al rly j exists in the void and pronouns really don’t matter to them! for structure proposes though i’m mixing it up with he/they in writing with whichever works best in each specific thread but really al vibes.
sooooooooo back to the kang family and specifically al’s mom
okay she got cut off but not really because the other parent that wasn’t super racist still sent her money on the dl so she and her husband had a good amount of money for a rainy day + all the farm profits
al got recruited for their interesting (vroom vroom) hobbies and also because apparently there is a good amount of spies down the family tree
honestly they knew their mom was estranged from her parents and all that fun stuff but once everything came to light they were like oh my god???????????
anyway al is like fuck my grandpa and now he can’t do anything about alphonse continuing the spy legacy <3
quick stats:
nickname: al(paca)
orientation: pansexual
height: 5′11
current hair color: dark brown
ethinicity: half-korean & some type of white al really did not ask questions after finding out about everything tbh
nationality: american
tattos: didn’t have any until recently! kiki dared them to get pikasso inside their lip and al was like bet?
has a very thin scar on their left eyebrow bc they’re dumb and will not ever tell the story of how they got it (it’s lit a cat scratch)
favorite color isn’t black don’t asSUME it’s actually dark green like pluto’s hair from sailor moon
fav movie is josie and the pussycats (2001) bc nobody rocks the mic like dujour
i can’t think of anything else rn oops
as far as connections go i’m not picky and really if you think your character(s) would get along or dislike them it’s really all good with me they’re always ready to fite or maybe just play animal crossing with them pls
“would you stop comparing me to trees? it’s weird, dude. i’m not even that tall,” he says, as if he wasn’t literally six foot six feet tall, annoyed with the lack of sleep already. “like hell you are,” he grumbles, gesturing to the clock like the grumpy old man he is to point out the late hour. “you dragged me out of bed at 3 am for mcdicks, you’re not eating my food. you’re barely humble as it is.”
they were in one of the many empty spaces of the parking lot, al already sorting through the bags of food. “if i stop comparing you to trees, how would anya know to climb you?” al tried his best to keep a straight face after saying that, taking a bite of a sausage-cheese mcgriddle and looking right at clancy. would he kill him? probably. definitely. but the joke was 100% worth it.
Though incredibly nonchalant the way he spoke, Sam still let out a small laugh at the face Al made, regularly endeared by it as always. Truly insane the way he brought it up, but make no mistake, Sam did absolutely note that Al called him cute, and takes exactly one second to register it, process it, force himself not to react, and store the information in the back of his brain while letting out a totally cool and collected chuckle, like he’d been called cute countless times before. “I’m not feeling anything, no– though I’m not sure I can read the vibes. You think it’s a bust?”
“prob — wait, hold on.” al dramatically placed the tips of his index and middle fingers from both hands on his temples. “they’re speaking to me,” he said, mimicking the tone of overexaggerating mediums on television. he closed his eyes and was quiet for exactly three mississippis, before shaking his head and fluttering his eyes like he just came out of a trance. “they said you should go blond?”
“You may have a point there. But I do sorta think I wouldn’t dip my hand into hot lava, Al,” she smiled with a teasing grin. Ruby liked Al’s strange personality, it was always a breath of fresh air to be around someone who was far more carefree than she was, who she also didn’t suspect would judge her every move. “Oh, yeah, totally. Me and my bootcamp scores could definitely take one down,” she joked, if only in hopes of getting one of the agents to laugh. No dice.
“tough crowd. maybe add laughter to the job description?” even through sunglasses, al felt the cold, unamused stares of the nearest agents. “oh, speaking of boot camp, has kiki by any chance told you her whole loophole thing? it’s definitely made my life so much easier.”
“ wow, you should really consider unionizing. these kinds of things add up, y’know. ” barbie slapped the bandages on one-handed, nodding along to whatever al was saying about respect as she used her other hand to keep shoving burger in her mouth. “ ooh, i do love a good skate… my feet are gonna be a real problem though. ” she wiggled them a bit, contemplating the issue with a small frown. all her plan did was continue to ruin her life, even after the fact. “ maybe if i put, like, twenty bandaids on them? that should fix it. ”
“okay, but, what if i just carry you around while i do all the skating? we can totally aim for people full speed until they kick us out.” they were already at the roller rink’s parking lot, a hot pink neon sign flashing down on them, brighter than any of the street lights. “come on, don’t be a baby.”
“you’re a foot tall, how do you eat so much?” he wondered aloud, quietly from the passenger seat as al gave their order to the speaker box. “deluxe big breakfast, two bacon egg and cheese biscuits, and a decaf coffee.” clarence spoke slowly enough that he could parrot it back to the clerk. “i can’t believe you dragged my ass out of bed for a pikachu kids meal. add two apple pies, too.”
he was too busy ordering to say anything about clancy’s comment, so he finished up with the very nice, underpaid worker and drove up to pay. as they waited in the second window, al turned to clarence, “first of all, how dare you. not everyone can be a giant, ancient willow.” he paused only to take their food and wish the employee a good day. “second, being not massive keeps me humble and cute. i’m eating your food now, too.”
“ i thought that much was obvious, ” she joked easily, rolling her eyes, “ today was just a lot. and i don’t trust anyone else to drive, so… consider it a privilege. ” barbie sat up, eyeing al’s collection of bandages warily. they were very… colorful. “ tweety’s fine. as long as it gets the job done. i’m sure kiki’s gonna get a kick out them when i get back. ” kiki would be the only other person who would get to see them, anyway. she might never wear sandals again.
“labor? for free? this is a microaggression.” he was happy to drive, though, and barbie was like his child now. “tweety is not just fine, tweety’s exceptional so put some respect on his name.” after basically inhaling his burger, al wiped his hands with a napkin because getting the car dirty was definitely not an option. he glanced at the time. “i honestly thought it was way later than it is, damn. how about we go roller skating?” right after saying that, he remembered that she had blisters and that’s why he was in the driver’s seat to begin with. “can you even skate right now, actually?”
“if they didn’t, i’d be surprised. i don’t think they’d have an event for just a few days, right? didn’t they just come out?” the fake that he wasn’t asleep, in bed, was one that still weighed on him, but at least he’d get chicken nuggets out of it. he shook his head at his roommate, making a face. “if you can just be cool until we get to your car, you’ll be fine, dude. no somersaults.”
although he still really wanted to do those somersaults, al behaved like a good child all the way to his car. it was the feeling that papa was at a moments notice from smacking him that kept him in check. once buckled in, because safety is the first key, al drove them out to the nearest mcdonalds and ordered himself two pikachu six-piece nugget happy meals with sprites, a deluxe breakfast with orange juice and a sausage-cheese mcgriddle. “and for you king?” he asked clancy.
Sam raised an innocent brow in Al’s direction as he looked over at him, a bit of intrigue on his features. Al talked about it with a lot less conviction than other students did, like it was just as natural as finding a desk job. “Maybe you could freelance? Although, I guess that still requires you do find clients…” Sam trailed off as he followed after him into the D.C. streets. “No, I’m down!” he smiled, a bit too eagerly. He didn’t mind scary stuff in general, but he wanted Al to be sure that there was no problem.
he shrugged. “we’ll see. gotta so something with the spy bit eventually.” at the end he went ‘euh’ and stuck his tongue out a bit out of meme habit. a sudden sense of excitement washed over him with sam’s response. “okay, okay, cool because i’m trying to get possessed—possibly get choked by a ghost named george.” they made their way to old stone house where an actual ghost called george had allegedly choked visitors. “the vibes don’t feel off, or is that just me? are the ghosts feelin you up? you’re cuter than be so it would make sense.”
❝ ah ! ❞ was her automatic reaction as she saw the paper approach her tongue through her phone screen , ❝ wow , i can’t believe you just attacked me and then called my idea disgusting . this is a hate crime . i’m calling your father . ❞ after giving her friend a quick thank you hug , she caught up to al and entered his car . ❝ ooh , yeah ! fifty piece combo with the usual flavors ? ❞ as she asked , she got the wingstop app ready . she checked how far the cvs was from them , about 10 miles . ❝ i’m gonna say three minutes . ❞ to be cinematic , she began playing wind blows once she finished her sentence as if it was an indicator for him to start driving .
“okay, bet.” the roads were empty and this particular, dandy, car never let him down. after making sure she was buckled up, al slowly sped up until they were going at the car’s limit. with the perfect song playing, a few some sharp turns though the streets less traveled and leaving the scent of burnt rubber behind them, they peacefully entered the pharmacy parking lot. “time?”
she widened her eyes at them, stifling a full laugh as she took a step back, picking up a normal pastry to add to the plate she held. “ten dollars. no way someone doesn’t notice, at least.”
with a cheeky smile, al picked up the stand and turned his heel. “come on, we’re supposed to be at the picnic soon.” everyone was far too busy with their own friends to notice, and al was looking confident carrying the cheese cake as he made his way out of the function. as soon as they were far enough and the coast clear, he let out a deep breath he didn’t even know he had been holding in. “oh shit, that actually worked? you owe me ten bucks.”
❝ oh my god , i was literally just thinking that . ❞ once al was done with his solo shots , she took some selfies of her own . of course there were the classic peace signs , smile , eyes closed — however , for the last one she decided to have some fun and make it appear like she was going to lick the sheet . ❝ what if it’s actually great for your pores and you never break out again cause the dust just decides to live there forever ? ❞ she had no actual idea how pimples worked .
al playfully pushed the document closer towards her when she pretended to lick it, but not enough to actually make contact. “kiki, that actually sounds disgusting.” after thanking her friends and making it back to the car, al let it warm up. “we should get these printed and then grab some wings after.” he started driving to the nearest cvs with printing services. “how fast do you think we can get there?”
“What, you don’t think you’re up to snuff?” Ruby asked. At that, she laughed again, but the sound was a lot more dry and sarcastic that time. “Hardly. I, uh, sorta fumbled the bag right at the end. Turns out it’s pretty difficult to go around unseen when you’ve got your own agents following your every move. Like a second tail on the tail,” Ruby sighed, making a face as she remembers that embarrassing moment.
“i’m just saying, simply being smart isn’t always enough. like, i know not to touch lava but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t dip your hand in given the chance?” all al ever did was say dumb things in front of ruby, like it was nonsensical word-vomit. “just lose your agents. you’re totally capable of even taking one down now, right?”
selina carefully tucked the napkin wrapped cookies into her purse, a casual glance over her shoulder to see if anyone would notice. leaning back over to al, she whispered conspiratorially, “nobody’s gonna know.”
with @banggkang !
“they’re gonna know. ” al didn’t bother to look around. “how much do you want to bet that...” he placed a finger at the very edge of a ceramic stand with a perfectly coated strawberry cheesecake and turned it slightly, “i can walk out of here with this and no one would bat an eye?”
❝ it’s fine , if he wants to touch the declaration and stuff i can just call my friend again and ask her for a round two . plus , i think this prank is too good to stop . ❞ she began wondering if she should post their journey on her story but realized that someone might tell on her friend and she shouldn’t risk it . ❝ oh, my god — high key love that , though . we should use them still just for fun . ❞ of course kiki joined al in doing the choreography to the music , deciding if she they crashed at least it was doing something they both loved . ❝ yes to everything . this is gonna be so funny , i can’t wait for this . wait , we should ask my friend to pretend to be knocked out and we’ll do all the poses with her k.o’ed too . ❞ the drive seemed short with the help of al’s playlist and before she knew it , they were with her friend in the elevator to the basement getting ready for their first picture . ❝ which one do you want to do first ? ❞ she was ready to mirror all the poses he decided on .
before he knew it, the declaration was in their hands and kiki’s friend was on the ground, pretending to be knocked out. “how about the hot squat?” al bent down, posing with her as their pictures got taken. for his last pose, al laid on the ground, one leg up in the air and the declaration delicately placed under his chin. a perfect solo shot. “if i break out because of this musty piece of paper i’m going to be so mad.”
“You don’t think you’re ever gonna need more than just one skill set?” he teased, and it was partly the Blackthorne in him wanting to point out the ways a proper student should excel in all areas. Or at least, he thought it was, he wasn’t totally sure how in tune he was with that side of him sometimes. Sam tried not to smile to hard at Al’s choice of words, but nodded happily anyway. “We can wing it, no big. Anything you’re dying to do?”
“well, i do have more than one skill set. it’s not like i haven’t learned anything. but, it’s all supposed be so i can do someone’s bidding when you take two seconds to think about it.” it really wasn’t that deep–al was kind of nonchalant about the whole spy thing. they headed out of their cozy airbnb and into the buzzing streets as they continued their conversation. “how do you feel about ‘scary’ stuff? i wanna go to some haunted locations but it’s completely okay if you don’t want to.”
he stared at the ceiling, a dead look in his face as he genuinely considered murder for a few moments after the tree frog bit, before shoving himself out of bed. “i swear to god, if you get me in trouble for a fuckin’ egg mcmuffin,” he jabbed his finger at al’s face for emphasis, tugging boots and a coat on. “and you’re not hiding under a trench coat, you’re just going to say you’re a fourth year if we get stopped.”
the immense amount of joy alphonse felt when clancy finally agreed could not be described. he was hyped and in a flash his patched up black denim jacket and rose doc martens were on and ready to go. “wait, wait, waaaait, do you think they still have the pikachu happy meal? if they do i’m gonna cry and that is a threat.” before they new it, they were outside in the cool breeze and it was a couple hours before dawn. “i feel like i should be down, hiding behind the bushes and doing somersaults but also that would one hundred percent get us stopped. ”
