Friends only ™

Call me Banjo. He/him. Aged. Withering. Pain. 

[im-mender]

she took the pey wet in the divorce

[im-mender]

I only got custody of our babby's yed. not even the full babby

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

she told the judge i had been smacking our barms

[im-mender]

in Wigan I'm as good as fucked

[1enkagamine]

say your fucking prayers nanako

[weaselknievel]

Lord help me I'm playing bg3 again

[weaselknievel]

thank you Cathy your support means the world

[weaselknievel]

Cathy you're scaring me

[hyperiondaylily]

Marianne wielding Blutgang, for FE art scuffle @/okamimon

[mevil]

[tlirsgender]

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

[tlirsgender]

[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]

Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

[tlirsgender]

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

[tlirsgender]

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

[tlirsgender]

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[tlirsgender]

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[kwwg]

☕

[kosmogrl]

[glowingghosty]

[draconym]

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

[draconym]

[orcboxer]

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

[dogpuppy]

[toyota-supra]

where the fuck is the image

[toskarin]

[toyota-supra]

there's something strange

[superhighschoolleveldespair]

insane 67-dollar phone at target

so im at target right now doing christmas shopping with my dad and?? there’s just this… 67 dollar phone? not even like 69.99 or something but 67?? nnone of the other phones are like this??

see you guys in ten years when EVERYTHING is 67 i guess LMAO

[superhighschoolleveldespair]

…

………..

[victusinveritas]

[tpwrtrmnky]

"Ultra processed" as categorization scheme has to be understood first and foremost as a way to group plant-based meat substitutes with shit like the American Turbocarcinogenic Deep Fried Hardened Corn Syrup Food Product that just happened to show up after plant-based meat substitutes got popular enough to attract the attention of "you can't label this as a plant-based hot dog, it has to be labelled as a 'tube'" legislation.

Rather than naming specific ingredients or specific mechanisms of doing harm, ultra-processed simply says that all foods that fit the VIBE of being somehow "unnatural" above a certain arbitrary threshold must share the same intrinsic quality of Badness.

One that regular-processed Ground Beef doesn't, conveniently.

[patientno7]

my humor 2016

[patientno7]

10 years

[agpsoundsystem]

[0ddoblivion]

This kills me every time

[shikiimisaki]