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mimi. she/her. sag. ‘03. <3
♬... comfortable liar - chevelle
currently writing ... boys like you & loathing!
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@baocean
❝ welcome to baocean! ❞
❝ take your coat off, stay awhile! ❞
mimi. she/her. sag. ‘03. <3
♬... comfortable liar - chevelle
currently writing ... boys like you & loathing!
obx masterlist / about me! / my spotify / my rules!
I know this might be a bit too much but I really love your JJ Maybank x reader stories and I can’t ever find a good like dark romance smutty story if you know what I mean :)
I'll write one for you babe, just give me some details!
Illicit Affairs blurb ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
Ward is having dinner with some big time clients, ones he absolutely needs to sign with, which means you're stuck entertaining their daughters.
One is younger, probably closer to Wheezie's age. There's one that's no older than 8 years old, judging by the massive bow in her hair. The third is in her twenties, just like you, obviously bored to shit out of her mind.
The country club is where your dad brings all his clients. People love the beach and they love the exclusivity of a private club. It's always a good move.
You're at the bar, leaning against it as you're waiting for a bartender to take your order. Two vodka sodas and two Shirley Temples with extra cherries.
Too busy with tapping the metal of your dad's Amex card against the counter, you don't even realize he's in the same room as you until the older girl taps your shoulder. "Who's that?"
You look up, a crease in your brow, and find him instantly. Your eyes find him like a pair of magnets.
JJ, who's taking an order from an older woman in a gold dress, looks over at the exact same time. You've learned his mannerisms against your will, but you see his eyebrows raise a hair. He wasn't expecting to see you.
He only just started working at the club, still brushing his hair and wearing his button up correctly. You see him much more than you used to and it's starting to actually affect you. You're always on edge now when you come to the club, wondering if the next corner you turn you'll run right into him.
He sees the unfamiliar group you're with, eyes moving to the girls next to you and then back. JJ narrows his eyes and tilts his head just a little, enough for you to notice but not enough for woman in the gold dress to.
From underneath his collar, you can just make out the faint yellowing color of the bruise you left on him a few days before. A punishment, you called it, for him pissing you off earlier that day, something for him to have to worry about people seeing.
You're stuck in a trance, just staring at him in that stupid, too small button up that he probably borrowed from Pope. His arm is flexed a little as he writes a drink order down and you can't tear your eyes away. JJ seems to realize how locked he's got you because he starts to grin.
"I don't know." You reply, taking a deep breath and shaking your head. The girl just blankly stares at you for a second, maybe not understanding the situation but knowing you're not telling the truth.
She nods, brushing it off and deeming it not worth her time. "He's cute." She says, leaning in closer to the bar.
Your jaw ticks and eye her over your shoulder. She's too busy watching JJ.
He makes his way over once he's done a line down the bar, taking everyone's orders and playing fake nice. He steps up against the bar table, leaning on his elbows and looking right at you.
"What'll it be today, Cameron?" JJ says, smooth like honey.
"I thought you said you didn't know him." The girl tips her head at you. You don't look back at her, you're too busy glaring daggers into JJ.
"I don't. Two vodka sodas," You make a show of looking at his name tag, which is already somehow scratched and beat up. "And two Shirley Temples. Thanks, JJ."
The slick grin never leaves his face as he backs away from the counter. "Coming right up, ladies."
You watch him instead of listening to the conversation the girls next to you are having. He seems really in his element here, as much as he can be at least. The other bartender says something to him as she mixes a drink and he laughs, shoulders shaking as he pours the vodka into fancy glasses.
JJ passes a glass of water to the older man a few seats down, and whispers something that makes him and everyone around them tip their head back and laugh. He puts on a good show, you've always known that.
He comes back with drinks, giving the girl an award winning smile as he puts a napkin down. The younger girls are quick to snatch their drinks from the table and straws from JJ's hands.
"Thank you, JJ." The girl smiles, looking him up and down as she sips on her drink.
"'F course. Made it with love." He watches her walk away for a second longer than you're able to tolerate, then his eyes slide to you. "Telling people you don't know me now?"
"Wasn't that always the plan?" You say, playing bored as you pull your straw into your mouth and take a sip.
"We may not like each other, but you do know me." He wipes down the counter, giving you a look.
"I know you, JJ, you just don't know me." You give him a sweet smile, only for it to fall flat off your face a second later as you look around the room. A safety check to make sure people aren't noticing how long you're speaking to him.
You look at the girl over your shoulder, then look back at JJ. "She thinks you're cute."
"Aw, you tryna play matchmaker?" JJ says sarcastically, looking over your shoulder at her. The way his eyes linger makes something hot and ugly twist in your stomach.
"Sure. Though once she learns anything past your name, she'd probably run." You take another look around the room, voice casual. "No one in their right mind really sticks around once they get to know you, do they?"
His jaw ticks, you're happy with that.
"Good one. Think you just called yourself crazy, sweetheart." He puts the cloth into his back pocket, then runs his hand through his hair and moves the conversation before you can respond. "You coming over tonight?"
"Jesus, keep your voice down." You whip around to look at him, eyes wide with shock. "No, I'm not coming over. We're done, remember?"
"You always say that shit." He rolls his eyes, his attention catching on someone waving him down on the other end of the bar. He nods and holds a finger up in their direction. "No one's home, I get off at 11."
"I'm done with you, JJ, I mean it. I'm not fucking coming over."
He looks at you and for a second you think he might actually be taking you seriously this time. Then, the left side of his mouth quirks up and he shakes his head. "Fine, be a brat. That's fine."
Your eyes narrow at him—but he's quick with walking away to attend to his next customer, not giving you the chance to fire something back at him.
You huff, turn on your heel and head to where the girls have found seats by an old fireplace. The oldest gives you a knowing look.
That night, you inevitably end up at JJ's window. He's grinning ear to ear, the words "thought you were done with me" waiting on his tongue, already pulling you in.
Illicit Affairs Masterlist
your JJ fic was so good! id love to read how the sheriff reacts when he sees JJ in bed with his daughter, even if it's just a little blurb?
I'm glad u loved it and thank u for the request!!!
⋆✴︎˚。⋆
"Mornin' Sheriff. You’re home early."
Your dad looks at the situation in front of him with a blank stare, like he can't even begin to believe it. You in bed, in just a t-shirt, with the Kildare County Police Department's worst nightmare in bed beside you.
Then he steps back out of the room and pulls the door shut fast, his muffled footsteps hurried as he walks away.
You stare at the door with a horrified expression. "Huh." JJ says, taken aback.
You turn and look at him, eyebrows stitched together. He shrugs. "I just—I for sure thought I was gonna get my ass beat."
Your head falls to your hands. "Oh my God. Oh my God, JJ. Oh my God."
"It's gonna be fine, babe. Promise." JJ throws his legs over the side of your bed and stands, grabbing his sweatshirt from the floor.
"This is so, so bad. He's going to kill me. I'm—what are you doing?"
"Putting clothes on? C'mon, get up, get dressed." JJ says, opening up a drawer and then closing it, opening another and finding you a pair of sleep shorts before throwing them at you.
"Get dressed?" You look at him, eyes bugged and sleep shorts crumpled in your hands. "You want me to go out there?"
"Yeah." JJ says, raising his eyebrows like the answer had been obvious. His head disappears under the fabric of his sweatshirt only to come out through the top with messy hair.
You look at him like he's crazy, staying exactly where you are in your bed as JJ moves sleepily around your room. You almost laugh, disbelief washing through you. "JJ."
"Hm?" He's barely listening, running a hand through his hair in your mirror, seemingly completely unbothered by this.
"We can't."
"What's he gonna do, yn?" He turns and looks at you, titling his head. "Arrest me?"
You throw your arms out, scoffing. "I dunno, he might!"
JJ shakes his head and pushes away from the dresser. "C'mon."
You look at him for a second, letting the panic paint itself on your face. JJ does not care at all. In fact, he smiles and reaches his hand out for you to take.
When you finally get the courage to leave your room, the kitchen already smells like your dad's favorite coffee. You peak out your doorframe and see him leaning over the sink.
JJ is close, a few cautious steps behind you.
"Hi Daddy," you say carefully. "Are you hungry? I can make some—"
"I'm fine." He cuts you off, not bothering to turn around.
You look at JJ. He's looking at the back of your dad's head with a calm, easy expression. You're completely freaking out. You give him a look and he just raises his eyebrows back.
"Dad, I know this is—I should have told you, I'm sorry, I just..." You don't finish your sentence. You don't even know what to say, how to fix this.
Your dad sighs, then turns around. He looks at JJ first and you brace for whatever terrible comment he's about to make. He's going to yell, he's going to kick you out, he's going to make you never see JJ again.
He doesn't do any of those things, though. Instead, your dad and JJ have some sort of weird stare down—not glaring daggers at each other, but just staring like they're having a conversation you can't hear.
Your dad's eyes glide to you. "Honey, go back to your room for a little while."
You blink. "What?"
"Go to your room, I want to talk to JJ."
"Dad."
"'S fine, sweetheart." JJ whispers. "Go. I got it."
You glance between the two, then nod cautiously. "Um, okay. I'll be in my room, then. Be nice to each other."
Stepping backwards, out of the kitchen, you watch your dad and JJ idle in the space, watching you go.
You sit on the edge of your bed for a long time. You can't stay still from the frantic feeling you have, getting up every few minutes to fiddle with something or make your bed or hang something up.
You don't hear any yelling, you take that as a good sign.
There's a knock on your door and your dad opens it a crack. You shoot up from your bed, eyeing the space over your dad's shoulder in hopes of catching a glimpse of JJ.
Your dad says nothing, just jerks his head and opens the door a little more.
You find JJ sitting at the kitchen table, scarfing down eggs. He looks up when you walk in, a little hot sauce on the side of his mouth. Your eyebrows furrow.
"Did you make him eggs?" You turn to your dad.
He says nothing, just gestures at the empty wooden chair next to JJ for you to sit. Slowly, you sit, glancing between the two of them. Neither of them are going to tell you what they talked about, you know that, so you try and read them for any sort of clue.
You catch JJ's eye as he's shoving another forkful of eggs into his mouth. Cheek full, JJ smiles and winks at you.
The weight of this morning melts from your chest, assuring you that whatever this was, it was okay.
Your dad puts a plate down in front of you without a word and goes back to his coffee. The three of you sit around the kitchen table.
"Thank you, Daddy." you say quietly.
"Eat your eggs." he says.
You pick up your fork, you eat your eggs, and JJ's knee finds yours under the table.
For everyone who submitted a request + everyone waiting on ch. 3 of loathing, I am working on them I promise! I'm such a slow writer and I am very very busy, but I'm not ignoring you swear!
Alone in the gym on the tread reading smut #youngho
Poll time, which one should I write?
So I have a brother’s best friend!JJ fic. Just based around brother not wanting JJ anywhere near her and her and JJ doing it anyway.
And I have neighbor!JJ, which is about her staying with her aunt in the obx for the summer and JJ being aunt’s neighbor. Still has that we shouldn’t do this feel but just a little more chill.
I could always just post both but they are just veryyy similar!
^^
Brother’s best friend!JJ
Neighbor!JJ
Both
are you gonna finish the interview insta dm series? it was so cute but no worries if not!
If you mean loathing yes I’m working on chapter 3 rn!
Can you do a part 2 to I tried to be good am I no good? Like im losing my shit thinking of criminal!Jj getting out of jail after a long time and going to her window to see another guy there holy shit
Anon! Thx for the request! 🩷
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, spitting, smacking, getting caught in the morning, them being broken up but making up, this is literally make up sex, JJ gets a tattoo
Part 1 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
You’re sitting cross legged on the floor of his bedroom, hair falling over one shoulder, fingers tracing lazy spirals into the carpet. It's quiet, the kind of quiet that feels like it was made for just the two of you. The clock ticks somewhere far off, but you barely notice it. He's sitting at the end of the bed, legs hung off the side, smoke curling around him.
Your eyes follow the movement of his hand as he lifts the blunt to his lips. You’re captivated by the way he holds it, casual but skilled, it’s just another tool in the art of being JJ.
“Can I try?” You ask, voice small but hopeful, reaching a tentative hand toward it. He jerks it back just out of reach before your fingers can touch it, and your eyebrows furrow.
JJ exhales slowly, first through his nose, then through his mouth, letting the smoke drift lazily upward before he speaks. “Nah.”
“Why not?” You pry, frowning at him. He leans back a little, eyes closing, a smirk tugging at his lips as he takes another hit.
“Your dad would kill me.” He says finally, voice teasing but there's an edge of seriousness that you disregard.
“He’d kill you for other things.” you reply and he opens one eye, half lidded, regarding you like you’re nothing but trouble.
“You wouldn’t like it.”
“I just want to try it once, JJ.”
He goes quiet, jaw working like he's chewing on the idea. His gaze drags over you, slow and assessing, and you can practically see him weighing it.
"Don't make me regret showin' you, 'kay?"
You smile and jump up from your spot. You slide into his lap, knees on either side of his. He leans his head back slightly, eyes dropping to your mouth, smirk deepening, proud and a little wicked.
His free hand slide to your hip automatically, fingers dancing under your shirt without a second thought.
"Breathe in slow," he instructs, holding the blunt to your lips. His eyes are on yours, won't let you look away even if you wanted to. "Real slow, baby. Like you mean it."
You inhale and it burns as it crawls down your throat. Your eyes water immediately. JJ's watching like he's studying scripture, like your discomfort is the most fascinating thing he's ever seen.
"Dramatic." He says when you cough, but his voice has gone softer and there's a faint ghost of a smile on his lips and his hand on your hip tightens.
"Fuck you." You manage between coughs.
"Later." he brings the blunt back up, his wrist turning so smoke curls between your faces. "Try again."
So you do. His pupils are blown wide, black eating up the color, you don't know if it's the drugs or you. When you take another hit, still ragged and coughing a little, JJ murmurs, "There you go, that's my girl."
The praise does something to you, makes you dizzy in a way that you don’t think has anything to do with the drugs. When you exhale he grins, and before you can think better of it you're kissing him. It's clumsy and desperate and probably terribly but he doesn't seem to care.
His hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, smiling despite how heated the kiss has gotten, and when you rock against him he makes a sound that goes straight through you.
"Easy," he breathes against your mouth, but his hands are pulling you closer. "We got time, baby. I’m not going anywhere."
And you believe him, because how could he? How could anyone leave after this?
You huff and open your eyes, rolling onto your side to stare at the opened window on the far end of your room.
You think of him all the time, in all sorts of situations. Most things remind you of him, in some shape or way.
Last week was seven months since you last time you saw him. You tell yourself you’re not waiting for him, not missing him, but you still keep your window cracked just in case.
You’ve got his lighter. A simple blue one, but it's dirty with grease and carved with small drawings. Sometimes you flick it open and shut just to hear the click, the sound that used to mean he was near. Your hands shake a little when you perch up in the window pane and light the end of a new blunt.
It's one of the only things you have of his. It's not like you can wear his hoodies around the house or keep his sweatpants in one of your drawers, so the small things you're able to play off as your own if necessary is all you get.
Mad doesn’t cover it. You're furious, if anything. Furious at him for getting caught with those fucking drugs in his pocket. Furious at him for leaving you. Furious at yourself for falling for him in the first place, furious at the way your heart twists at the thought of him in that cell.
You knew this would happen, you knew it was only a matter of time. JJ always thought he was too slick, too smart, too good to ever get caught. He's not usually wrong, but he was about this.
You remember the day so clearly. It had started with JJ refusing to get out of bed with you in the morning, leaving small marks where no one would see, finding any reason to keep you with him.
And then he got a call, and the JJ you had before pretty much disappeared. He was all but ignoring you now, and when you did try to get his attention he’d silence you with a not now that made you panic.
He said he needed to leave, to get something done. Left without a kiss or fifteen extra minutes where a hug turned into something more, nothing. And then he was in cuffs, being shoved into the back of your dad's squad car 45 minutes later.
There was about three weeks of time where you thought this could work. The sheriff’s daughter sending pathetic love letters written in red ink to some guy cooped up in a jail cell. But you could only face that lie for so long.
You had only called him once while he was in, and it was to break up with him. You told him in your best, polite voice that you loved him but this wouldn’t be able to last in the long run. JJ had fought with you the entire time, saying this was silly and he’d be out in no time and there was no need to do this.
You’d hung up before he could get a sensible word out. Of course, he’d have his friends, shady or not, try and reason with you. Drug dealers and pogues pulling you to the side in places they’d normally just walk past you.
Sometimes, in the quiet, you pretend he’s still there. Leaning on the dresser, laughing at you, telling you not to take life so seriously. Sometimes it hurts more than it should.
You text your dad you’re going to your girlfriend's for a movie night. Popcorn, bad romcoms, all the usual stuff. He gives it a heart, doesn't really respond because he's out of town with your mama for the next two days and doesn't really care what movie you're watching.
But mostly it's because he has no reason to question you. You're a whole year older now, a real full grown woman. He has no idea about you and JJ from almost a year ago.
The boneyard is dark tonight. The wind blows your hair wild, and the air smells like sand, fish, and smoke—the distinct beach smell you've become indifferent to. Music thumps faintly in the distance from the party being held. Ethan is next to you, telling a dramatic story about running from your dad and his deputy once to the girl his friend has an arm around.
JJ introduced you and Ethan. He was JJ's dealer before he got locked up, and he became yours when JJ couldn't be the middle man. He was nice—tall and lanky, with brown hair that flopped in his eyes and an easy smile that made you feel less freaked out about buying weed from some kid.
He'd become one of your closer friends in the months JJ had been away. Ethan knew JJ already, knew what you two have had. So, it was easy for him to understand when you sat there almost every night for the first few weeks and ranted about how frustrated you were. He was a good friend.
The first time you met with him, he'd said “you're JJ's girl" and he never forgot—but that didn't stop him from toeing the line sometimes once he heard about your separation.
He'd teased you at first, but when you'd sniffle or want to stay in instead of going out, his jokes quickly turned to something supportive.
One night, a few months in, it had tilted into something else. One kiss that neither of you had really talked about since. It hadn't felt wrong exactly, it had just felt like the wrong person. You think Ethan knew it too.
It's casual, easy, the kind of flirting that doesn't mean anything but makes your chest feel a little less hollow. Ethan's been good at that. Filling the spaces JJ left behind without trying to replace him.
There’d been a couple other guys. They’d never made it far past a first date or a conversation, but you felt it was important that they still counted. They were always brunette, never blond. You made sure they never looked like JJ.
You’d still felt a little out of place, like you did with JJ and his friends. You were still the timid, kind girl you were when you and JJ had met in the station all that time ago. But unlike JJ’s friends, Ethan’s didn’t seem to mind.
The boneyard hadn't given whatever you were looking for. You were tired, bored, and hungry. Ethan didn't hesitate to drive you home from the party.
He parked in the driveway this time, no need to hide his questionable presence from your father. He made himself comfortable on your bed, flopping onto his stomach, as you sat against the headboard. He's rambling on within seconds, one of his crazy stories he's always telling.
You're smiling when he off hands some dumb comment, reaching over to grab the little wooden box where you kept your rolling papers. You started breaking up the weed, your movements still a little clumsy but better than they used to be.
Then, there’s a sound. soft, almost too small to hear over your own heartbeat at first. A scrape, a shhick sound of the window opening just a little more. Your chest lurches before your brain even catches up and your head snaps toward the sound.
Ethan's still talking, more to himself now than anything, but your mind is completely elsewhere. Your hands halt their movement, and you’re stuck staring at the opened window with wide eyes.
You think, no way. Not now. He couldn't possibly be out. Someone would have said something. He couldn't possibly be coming here at this exact moment. There would have been some kind of warning. Why would he be here?
But sure enough, one boot slips past the frame, then another, then the rest of him follows, fluid and quiet despite his size. He lands with barely a sound, quiet enough 3than doesn't even notice, straightening up slowly as he pulls the window closed behind him with one hand.
He's there, standing in your bedroom. the hood of his sweatshirt is still up, casting shadows across his face, but you'd know him anywhere. know the way he moves, know the set of his shoulders, know the way he tilts his head, assessing.
He pushes his hood back, and he's still JJ. You don't know why you're kind of surprised to see him look, well, exactly the same.
His hair's a little longer now, if anything. he's got small bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept well, he's lost a little of his tan from being inside all the time.
But he's still JJ. A traitorous part of your brain echos still your JJ.
You watch his eyebrows rise, watch him take in the scene with an almost clinical detachment—Ethan on your bed, you with weed in your lap, the close to scared shitless look on your face.
“Well, this is fucking cozy."
Ethan whips his head around so fast you think you hear his neck crack. His eyes go wide when he sees JJ, and he scrambles up so fast he nearly falls off the bed. "JJ? Dude, when'd you get—holy shit—"
"Couple hours ago." JJ says, his voice easy, conversational. His eyes are sharp though, tracking between you and Ethan like he's doing math in his head.
You're still frozen in place, staring at him like you're seeing a ghost. Ethan, standing awkwardly by the end of the bed now, decides it's the right time to defend himself. "This isn't what it looks like. We're just friends, just hanging out, I swear—"
You look over at Ethan, eyebrows furrowed with an expression like, what the hell? But Ethan is already backing up towards the door. "Look yn, JJ's here! Isn't that awesome?"
“Yeah," you roll your eyes, narrowing them as they flick between the boys. "Awesome."
"Don't sound too excited, baby." JJ's just standing there, and now that the initial shock is wearing off, you can see the smirk playing at his lips. Like this is funny. Like catching another guy in your bedroom is somehow entertaining to him.
However, the casual endearment of baby after seven months of nothing from him makes your throat tight. "I'm thrilled."
What the hell is he doing here?
"Missed me?"
Ethan is still rambling in the background, something about the bro code and loyalty and "I'll literally leave right now, I'm already leaving. Look, I'm going—"
"Ethan," JJ's voice cuts through Ethan's rambling. "Breathe, man."
"Yup, thanks. Love you both. JJ? Missed you like hell, man, good to see you, We'll catch up later. Yn? I'll text you."
And then Ethan is gone, you hear the front door open and close, and then the house falls silent again, leaving you and JJ alone.
He moves further from the window, looking around the room as if he's seeing it for the first time again. His eyes land on the lighter on your nightstand, and something flickers across his face. Satisfaction, maybe. "Kept it, huh?"
You nod, it's all you can manage.
"How sweet." He says it absently, distracted. Your throat works, but no words come. You're still trying to process that he's real, he's here. "So, you and Ethan, huh?"
"We're friends." You deadpan.
"Yeah, I heard it the first time." He moves closer, and there's something lazy about it that annoys you. "Ethan seemed pretty worked up for just a friend."
"He was just surprised to see you."
"Uh huh." He nods. "How'd that happen? You two."
You bristle at his tone. "He was helping me. After you left."
"After I got arrested," JJ tips his head, like you've made a mistake and he's correcting it, clicking his tongue afterward. "Not really the same thing as leaving."
"Felt the same to me."
"Aw, come on." He crouches down in front of you, hands falling to your knees. "Really? That's how it is?"
"Yes. that's exactly how it is." You kick your leg out but not with much effort, JJ's hands don't go anywhere. "We are broken up, JJ! What the hell are you doing here?"
He lets out a short, quiet laugh and it tells you he's not taking you the least bit seriously. “We’re not broken up.”
“Yes. We are.” You stare at him hysterically.
“You went on a rant and then hung up before I could get a word in. You did it when I couldn’t do anything about it. That doesn’t count.”
You stare at him, jaw tight. "I've moved on, JJ."
His head shoots back a little bit with a scoff, eyes narrowing. "What, with Ethan?"
You just look at him.
"Did you fuck him?"
Your mouth drops open at the bluntness of it. "What? No."
Immediately, his whole face shifts. The annoyance smooths out and what replaces it is worse. "Ohh." He says it slow. "You guys just kissed. How cute."
You can't believe him. He is so fucking sure of himself, so full of it. You kick your leg out again, and again JJ doesn't move away. "Why are you here, JJ?"
"Where else would I be?"
"I don't know." You lean back a little. "Literally anywhere else? You got out and the first thing you did was come here?"
"Yeah." he says it like it's obvious. It's the look on his face that lights you up, the silly, duh look. It pisses you off so much you push him off you completely.
"You don't get to do this, JJ. You got locked up like an idiot and left me. So don't act like some goddamn saint when this is all your fault."
There's a beat of silence, and then his face transforms completely. The hard edge melts into something that looks almost delighted.
"Shit," he says slowly, and that smirk spreads across his face. "You're mouthy, when'd that happen?"
Your eyebrows furrow, head shaking. "What?"
Then it clicks. The way he's looking at you, the grin spreading wider, the way he's come right back to you and his hands are back on your knees, a little higher this time. He likes this, he's enjoying this.
"Are you serious?" You gawk. "I'm yelling at you."
He looks thrilled about it. "It's hot as fuck."
"I'm mad."
"I know, baby."
"You—" You almost lose it just from the way he's looking at you, like you're the most interesting thing he's seen in seven months, which you probably are but that's not the point. "Don't call me that."
"Call you what?"
"JJ, i'm being serious."
"I know you are." he nods his head at you. "C'mon, keep going. Wanna hear what else I don't get to do."
You glare at him and sigh. If he wants it so badly, then you'll give it to him.
"You don't get to show up and expect me to forget everything." You say.
"Uh huh." His hands slide up your thighs slow.
"You don't get to be jealous. You don't get to say a single word about Ethan when you're the one that left."
"We'll come back to that one." He squints at you, leaning in. "Keep going."
"You're going to apologize."
"'M really sorry, sweetheart." JJ says immediately. He doesn't sound even a little sorry.
"You're going to mean it."
"I do mean it." he grins.
"JJ."
"What else?" His hands push the hem of your dress up just slightly with his voice laced in sarcasm. "You're on a roll, don't stop now."
"You're going to make it up to me," you say, straightening a little. "properly."
"Yeah?" His eyes drop, come back up. "How'm I supposed to do that."
"Figure it out. You're smart enough."
He laugh, and it's so familiar the thought of this hits you in the chest. His hands are pulling you closer, and you're letting him. "Anything else on this list?"
You think about it, then lift your chin. "Yeah. You're not allowed to think this is fixed. We're not fixed."
"Mhm."
"JJ." you dead pan, giving him one last glare even though you're pulling at his sweatshirt now.
"We're not fixed," he repeats. "I hear you."
"Good." You hold his gaze for a second. "You're going to have to work for it."
"Whatever you want, baby." His hands slide to your waist, pulling you in. "You feel better? Got it all out?"
"You are such a dick." You shake your head, pulling him towards you with a harsh tug.
His smirk breaks out into a full smile, standing up and falling back onto the bed with you in one quick motion.
There's no time for a sweet, slow kiss. Finally kissing JJ again after all this time feels like a high you'll never get from drugs, it's addicting, you never want to stop.
He's all over you in seconds. kissing you, then pecking your cheek once and quick before leaning down to your throat.
JJ peppers light kisses across your neck, then bites down hard. You gasp, lifting your hips up into his. He groans into the spot he just left a bite mark at, kissing it again. "Fuck, I missed you."
You roll your hips up into his again, surprising yourself with the amount of need you're feeling just by having jj this close again. JJ brings his face back up to yours, giving you one wet kiss before happily returning a press of his hips.
Your hands pull at the hem of his sweatshirt, bunching it up over his waist. He leans back on his thighs, pulling it and his shirt up and over his shoulders and head in one motion, then tosses it on the floor.
You barely see it before he's back down on you, but the dark ink on his chest makes you frown into his kiss.
"JJ." You mumble out against his lips, pushing him back.
"Hm?" His hand comes up to your hairline, smoothing it over as he places another kiss to your lips.
"JJ." You repeat, and this time he leans back away from you and you get a good look at the tattoo below JJ's collarbone that was definitely not there when he went to jail.
It's handwriting, it's your handwriting. Cut from one of the few letters you wrote to him before you ended things, tattooed messily right there on his chest.
Always in my heart.
He sees you looking at it, pale in the face, and looks down at it for a second before his eyes land back on you. "What?"
You look up at his face, eyebrows crinkling. "Did you get my writing tattooed?" Your voice comes out strange and quiet.
"Mhm." He hums, leaning back down to kiss you again.
"You got my writing tattooed." You process it, blinking into space.
JJ leans back a little more, noticed you're freaking out. His eyes move over your face, taking it in. He lets you stare at it for a second.
"Meant it when you wrote it, didn't you?" He asks, his hand going back to your hairline.
You swallow. "Yeah."
"Me too." He says, nodding. He leans down and kisses you once. "Okay?" He murmurs.
"Okay." You whisper against him. He smiles, and kisses you harder.
That was JJ. You couldn't get a dramatic confession out of him, even if you wanted to. This is how JJ was, this is how you liked JJ.
You’re back into it, letting the tattoo become something you’ll lecture him about later tonight. His hands pull your dress up until it’s around your ribcage.
You sucked in a sharp breath when his finger hooks around the fabric of your panties, pulling it to the side as he leans back.
He doesn’t waste a second. His touch was blunt, direct, two fingers sliding through your folds with confident, knowing strokes.
You jolt, another gasp tearing from your throat. He remembered exactly how you liked it, the pressure, the rhythm. Your hips arched off the bed, seeking more.
JJ licks his bottom lip and smiles.
“Pussy’s already soaked for me,” he mutters, watching the way your hips twitch. “Like she knew I was coming home.”
His fingers your clit with a lazy friction that made your toes curl. “God, JJ. Please.” You whisper.
"I know," JJ leans down to press another kiss against your mouth. "I know, baby, I know. Gonna make it up to you."
His finger presses into you and curls, working you open so he can add another finger.
His free hand, previously busy running up and down your thigh, pushes your dress up and over your freed tits.
JJ looks down at your bare chest, then up at your flushed face and smiles.
He lowers his mouth to one breast, sucking the nipple hard into his mouth while his fingers never stopped their work below.
The dual sensation, the sharp pull at your breast, the relentless pace he’s set between your legs, scattered your thoughts into pure sensation.
JJ releases your nipple with a pop and leans back again. “You think about this? When you’re in here all alone, you fuck your fingers and think about me?”
You throw your head back against your pillow and screw your eyes shut, letting out a delighted moan.
His pace quickened, his fingers fucking you harder, his thumb pressing firm on your clit.
“Do you ever get this deep on your own?” He taunts, curling up again, hitting that spot that makes you cry out. “Don’t think you do. Probably try, but you can’t get it right without me, huh?”
You reach out and grab at his hair, pulling hard enough to make him hiss. “All you do is talk shit.”
“Sorry, baby. Can’t help it.” He runs his free hand back up your body and squeezes your tit again. “Fuck, you’re fucking gorgeous.”
You were panting now, grinding against his palm like your life depended on it.
Your orgasm builds fast, a wave forming with shocking force after months of dormancy. Your body tightens around his fingers as a sharp, blinding pleasure ripped through you. “Fuck JJ. Fuck—”
“That’s it, sweetheart. Soak the sheets. Make a fuckin’ mess for me.”
You’re breathing hard when he pulls his fingers from you, popping them into his mouth.
You watch him, hazy, as he sucks on his fingers.
He pulls them out, hand coming to tap against your pink cheek. “You okay?”
You nod enthusiastically. “Mhm. C’mon JJ.” You pull at his sweatpants, grabbing his hip.
He pulls your underwear from your hips down past your ankles, stuffing them into his sweatpants pocket.
You can see how hard he is through the fabric and your breathing picks up when he pushes them down to free himself.
Sitting up a little, you pull your dress over your head and throw it into the corner of your room, eyes never leaving JJ’s.
JJ strokes himself slow as he stares down at you, like he still doesn’t quite believe he gets to have you like this.
“Been jerking off to the thought of this for months,” he mutters, leaning forward a little to thumb your clit, and you jerkingly arch off the bed. “Couldn’t fuckin' wait for it."
You reach for him, but from where you’re lying you can only grab onto his arm. He replaces his finger with the head of his cock, running it through your folds.
“Missed you, JJ.” You whisper, biting your lip in anticipation.
He looks up, licking his lips as he smiled sweetly. “You have no idea how much I missed you, baby. Not a fucking clue.”
“Then show me.” You push your hips up into his.
When he pushes in all the way in one thrust and fucks such a pornographic moan out of you, it makes him grin. “Yeah, let it out. That’s what I like to hear.”
He gives you a moment to adjust, after all this time with nothing, it takes a second. JJ leans over you, rubbing your hair again as you grip his shoulders.
He started to move, dragging himself almost all the way out before plunging back in, slow at first.
You revel in the feeling of it, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss.
His pace speeds up slightly, his thrusts become harder as his skin slaps against yours.
JJ moans against your lips, hand falling from your temple to your neck. “Can you feel how much I missed you?”
You nod, too overcome with pleasure to speak. Your lips slightly parted as each thrust forces an uh uh uh out of you.
“Open your mouth, baby.” He whispers, grabbing your jaw and smooching your cheeks.
You obey without questioning him, opening your eyes just enough to watch him collect the saliva in his mouth and spit.
It lands on your lip and tongue and you suck your bottom lip into your mouth to get it all, swallowing it after.
“Fuck, yn. Fuck.” He groans, eyes closing and head slacking down.
A moan tears from you when he hits the perfect spot and his hand leaves your face to give your neck a quick squeeze.
JJ leans back, hands spreading your thighs open so he can watch himself fuck into you. He groans deep, voice rasping through clenched teeth.
“Fuck. Look at you. Watch how good you take me. It’s fuckin’ heaven.”
One hand drops to your clit and rubs tight, fast circles and your body aches further into him.
With one quick, brilliant idea, you wrap your legs around JJ’s hips and flip the two of you. You’re straddling him before JJ has a second to think about it.
The act of it was a little messy, so he slipped out of you in the process. You grab his dick, guiding it back to your entrance.
JJ looks up at you, carefully watching your face contort as you slide down onto him.
You use all the strength in your legs to bounce up and down, hands splayed against his stomach for some support.
You’re a moaning mess, high pitched gasps and wails falling from your lips as JJ holds onto your hips to guide you.
He reaches up to grab at your tits again. “Yeah, baby. Ride me like you mean it. My sweet, dirty girl.”
You somehow manage to roll your eyes. “Shut up, JJ.”
“There you go again, talking back. Love it. Love you.” He breathes out, pulling up down so you’re lying on his chest.
He takes over, drilling up into you so hard you stop breathing.
Your hand finds his, pulling them up by his head. Your fingers lace together and he squeezes once as he kisses you.
This is starting to feel like him getting out of that cell this morning never happened. That this is just a normal night and he's still your boyfriend and everything is fine.
He sits up, taking you with him as he thrusts up into you one more time before twisting and flipping you.
He puts you on your knees, him behind you, and pushes your back down so your face and tits press into your mattress.
JJ slides back into you with one, harsh thrust that has you seeing stars. He’s fucking you so hard the whole bed in moving, the quick rocking filling your room.
“Oh fuck, JJ. Oh my god.” You moan into the mattress, gripping at the fabric of your sheets to try and ground yourself at all.
“C’mon sweetheart. Tell me what I want to hear. Whose are you? Who do you belong to?”
You’re quiet for a second, unable to form a word. You let out a cry when JJ smacks your ass, hard.
“You,” you gasp out. “You, JJ. Always you.”
“Damn right. Nobody else gets this, nobody else gets you. Ethan can go back to being somebody else's friend now."
JJ leans over you, fingers lacing into your hair and pulling your head back so far your neck is craned.
You push yourself up onto your elbows as a way to relieve some of the pressure and you realize why JJ’s got you in this position.
The mirror up against the far wall of your bedroom is giving you a perfect view of JJ behind you. He’s looking at you through the mirror, smirking.
“Yeah baby. Stay right there. Watch me fuck you.”
He kisses your shoulder, then delivers another sharp slap to your ass that echos through the room.
JJ’s thrusts are getting harder, sloppier. He’s close, you’ve learned his tells.
“Fuck baby, I’m—” he stops, hand leaving your hair to snake between your legs and rub your clit.
The shock of it makes you cum again, much harder this time.
JJ’s right behind you, a mess of swear words and your name and I love you’s. You collapse against your bed, face hot.
JJ sighs, running a hand through his hair. He pulls you up, molding you against him as he lays down.
"I really did miss you." You admit quietly.
"I know, baby." His arms wrap around you, holding you close. You get an overwhelming feeling in your chest.
"You better not leave again."
"Won’t." His lips kiss your hair. "Promise."
You know he can't promise something like that, that he'd probably break it and get sent back to county within the next year.
In the late morning, JJ’s still next to you in bed. He’s wrapped around you tight, refusing to let you go.
The only reason you wake up is from the front door slamming shut.
"Yn, honey, you in there?" Your dad's voice is muffled from behind the door. And then, it’s right there when he opens your bedroom door, "Yn—"
You shoot up, gasping as you go to cover yourself, even though you're wearing JJ’s shirt.
Your dad looks like he might die from a heart attack right then and there. JJ just rolls onto his back, putting a hand behind his head.
"Mornin' Sheriff. You’re home early.”
𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪
⤷ chapter twenty three - brief thaw
four months ago
it’s been almost a month since you and jj have spoken. spoken is the wrong word for it. it’s been almost a month since you yelled at each other outside your dorm room until you were breathing hard and jj wasn't breathing at all.
but jj’s back in classes, he’s back to his usual self. you’re relieved. and he’s been leaving you alone. you don’t know how you feel about that.
kie’s parents have the entire group over for dinner before everyone parts ways for the summer. finals start in a week, your flight home is in two.
you're all outside, sitting around the table, cluttered with plates and condiments and surrounded with laughter.
rafe, newly integrated into the friendgroup, is laughing loudly. he's on the team with the guys, he's sarah's brother, he's jj's best friend, so you're shocked he only just recently started to regularly hang out with you guys.
he's next to jj, and jj's riffing off jokes that makes rafe laugh harder. you crack a small smile, and jj's eyes flick over to you at the exact moment.
you watch each other for a second. but you look down at your hands, and when you look back up jj is picking up his plate and bringing it inside.
the laughter around the table dies down, and kie catches your eye from across the table and tilts her head toward the house. a silent go.
you hesitate for just a second before pushing your chair back and following him in.
the kitchen is quiet except for the sound of running water. jj's at the sink, rinsing his plate. he doesn't turn around when you walk in, but you can tell he knows it's you by the way he goes still.
"so," he says, still looking down at the sink. "you drew the short straw or did kie guilt trip you into following me?"
you lean against the counter. "little bit of both."
he looks to you then, and there's that familiar smirk. "nice to know i'm still worthy of a pity check-in."
"jj, be serious for five seconds." you glare at him. "we haven't talked in a month."
"i noticed." he huffs out a laugh. it's not filled with the humor he probably wanted, but he's got a smile on his face anyway.
it's quiet and it's weird. you sigh, hyping yourself up for the talk because you have to have it. you're still quiet when jj looks back at the screen door like he's thinking about making a run for it.
"come on," he says, looking back at you. there's a hint of something else in his voice, pleading. "we don't have to do this."
"yes, we do."
"we could just tell kie we worked it out. said all our sorry's and hugged it out." he throws his hands up a little.
"yea, 'cause she would believe that." you huff, looking at the tile floor.
"i mean, if we sell it really well. she might make us hug in front of her for proof but i feel like if we try really hard we can do it."
"you are so annoying." you roll your eyes. you look back up at him, and he's still smiling. not looking at you, more like anywhere around the room that isn't you.
"see, that's the kind of stuff that's gonna get us in trouble—"
“you scared me, jj.”
his smile drops completely, gone in an instant. "what?"
"not like—" you step back, trying to find the right words to say. "you just wouldn’t let anyone help you. and i know we're not friends or whatever, but watching you disappear like that—i don't know, it was scary."
he looks guilty, but he shakes his head and he's smiling again.
"''s okay now, all is well." he spreads his arms wide. "look at me. i mean, c'mon, i'm glowing."
you give him a look and his shoulders slump as he wipes his hands over his face. "i'm sorry. i was a dick."
"yeah."
“you didn’t deserve that. you were just trying to help.”he just watched you for a second, then shakes his head. “you’re the only person who makes me want to be better so—um, i shouldn’t have treated you like that. it was fucking shitty.”
you just watch him, taking in what he just said. his eyes keep bouncing from you back to the floor back to you.
you watch his eyes fall to your lips for a split second and suddenly it feels like time is moving in slow motion. was this what all this fighting was? was it just leading up to something like this?
“jj.” you almost sigh, tilting your head like you’re examining him.
he swallows, taking a deep breath in as his eyebrows crinkle.
by the time you realize what’s happening, jj’s closer than he was five seconds ago. he’s close enough that he can lean in and kiss you, so he does.
your lips just barely touch his before your chest lurches, yanking you back into reality. you step back with a, “oh my god, jj. we can’t.”
jj’s face cycles through about six emotions before landing on something casual as he nods his head. “right. no, i—it’s okay. we’re caught up in the moment.”
he runs a hand through his hair, not meeting your eyes.
"exactly." your voice comes out a little weird. "we were just, um, it was emotional and we weren't thinking."
"totally." he's nodding now, still not looking at you. "makes sense. we're both leaving in like two weeks anyway, so—"
"so it was silly."
"right. doesn't mean anything."
the words feel like lies even as you're saying them. you can see the way his hands are shaking slightly as he shoves them in his pockets.
"we should probably go back out there.” you say.
"yeah." he’s immediately gone from his place. "they're gonna wonder.”
"we'll just say we were talking, working things out."
there’s a beat of silence as you watch him walk towards the door. he looks over his shoulder just before he pulls it open.
"we're good?" he asks quietly.
"we're good." you lie.
His phone - present
Her phone
Xoxo, Mimi - hi guys holy shit sorry for the delay. Weird little Halloween chapter in April that was supposed to be posted in October but truly lost all motivation to write this. But we’re back let’s go yay
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taglist (taglist is open!) - @delreystars / @luvrclub / @yesshewrites1 / @cassiewritessalot / @rottinglexi / @certifiedjjsimp / @str4wb3rrym1lkl0v3r / @isinpfortvdmen / @doesnt-care / @dylsdaily / @wasiasproject / @chuuuchuuutrain / @dr3amgrlll / @4jjsbank / @lmaowhatt / @idli-dosa / @papercranesandinkstains / @dramagodesss / @ayy1234567 / @wrtzia / @mrrayjay / @cokewithcameron / @moonywhisp3rs / @acidfeens / @78kate / @lillell467 / @t0x1cfaerie / @mariamadison6-blog / @freyawhitexxx1 / @arietem / @peterjohnsonswife / @dearggntlereader / @tsbassett / @dreamybabbyy / @dallysdolly444 / @kazuubaby/ @moond0llie / @bambigirl10 / @always-reading / @nerawrites /
when abbot said to “shut your fucking mouth” 🤤
Also! Here's what I'm finishing in the drafts—
Brother's best friend!JJ fic
Pt. 2 to I tried to good, am I no good? request fic
Marriage of convenience!Rafe fic
I'm on fire best friend!JJ fic
Best friend's brother!Rafe request fic
Pt. 2 to Piss off your parents request fic
—Yay okay these are all in the final stages of getting completed I swear so be on the lookout!
Hey who should I write I’m on fire (best friends to lovers yearn their little hearts out fic) about, I need suggestions!
Goodbye Dr. Mohan we barely knew you
loathing!
chapter two: it’s interview time!
a/n: alright not too much on me now I know the insta DMs have massive watermarks over them but I couldn’t find anything more realistic lol so ignore them thanks
your phone
loathing! masterlist | next chapter
taglist: @ethanthequeefqueen / @twiliiqht / @s0urw00lf
loathing!
chapter one: you get blocked by kildarenews and then learn your reason why looks like a wet dream! sucks that wet dream can talk, that really ruins it.
your phone
loathing! masterlist | next chapter
loathing! masterlist
rafe cameron x pogue!reader smau | ongoing!
one sarcastic comment left on in a comment section fuels a fight between you and rafe cameron. you're not sure where you've heard that name before. you know he's on the same island as you, but he's made it clear he's far from your side.
insults in comment sections turn into dms. it's harmless, you think, he probably sticks to his side and you'd never have to worry about running into someone like him. there's no consequence of leaving hate comments in his messages.
but, you applied to a hoity-toity restaurant and realize too late that rafe cameron is not only the guy who's interviewing you, but your potential boss.
you get hired despite it all. when you get home, you find another insulting dm from him.
warnings
swearing, inappropriate jokes, mentions of drinking and smoking, mentions of 18+ content, rafe having a bit of a power dynamic, afab!reader
guide
chapter one | chapter two | chapter three |