[barbtec]

#BARBTEC : a private blog for BARBARA HOWARD of THE FALLOUT SERIES. primarily focused within the series, coupled with headcanons and lore friendly items pertaining to FALLOUT. while retaining the cost of being a woman , shouldering the world on your shoulders, the dark side of vault-tec, saving your family, earth shattering guilt and more ― follow backs & guidelines from : @amatorial

[barbtec]

what does your love taste like ?

figs.

sweet, sticky, they have a earthy, honey like flavor. figs were cleopatra's favorite fruit. she ordered that the snake she intended to end her life with, be brought to her hidden in a basket of figs. an ancient fruit that has always fascinated painters, poets and storytellers. yours too is a love that should belong to books and paintings.

your love is steady, the people you love know how deep your feelings are because you always remember them how much you love and desire them, and that you will always be there. maybe not with words, expressing your feelings might not be easy for you. it's your actions and attentions that let them know, because they feel seen and heard. figs are lucious, sensual fruits.

you're a passionate lover, you crave warmth and touch. you do not fall in love easily, maybe you used to when you were younger but you have now learned better. because you learned that when you love you give it all, you sacrifice a lot and you cannot do that carelessly. like the female fig wasp that, when entering an unripe fig to pollinate its flowers, loses her antennae and wings.

you're a quiet devoted lover. yours is an unwavering deeply rooted love. your love is intense,

almost overwhelming like figs are, swollen with hundreds of seeds. there's something quite disturbing when looking at its flesh. but that's what it gives it that crunchy, popping feeling, the same of a love that does not know boredom. but beware. you might be a lot to handle, and some times it might be hard for you to remember that not everyone loves as fiercely as you do. let your intensity be a gift, not a burden.

tagged by : tech @arcadeian tagging : whoever's reading this

[kaisources]

°⋆.୨ৎ࿔:･ WHAT IF THIS IS THE BEST VERSION OF ME? ... a collection of roleplay sentence starters ⁽ ⁰⁰¹ ⁾ based on girlhood, coming-of-age, complicated relationship with parents, mundanity, freedom. genre: slice of life, coming of age, family, hurt and comfort.

Isn't every story, a story of betrayal?

I was sleeping. Turn that off!

How do you already know all this stuff?

School hasn't even started yet.

I have trouble with procrastinating.

I'm somehow not fitting in even less.

Aren't you meeting friends in classes?

You know the feeling of being at a party where you don't know anybody?

You know I was very unhappy for a very long time.

I love you, Mom. Don't be so worried.

I'm so bad at calling people I don't know.

You aren't sarcastic, don't pretend to be.

Why don't you continue with the reading?

That was really nice of you, waking me up.

Listen, I'm so grateful to be here, but why are my parents taking out loans for me?

Uh… It's embarrassing.

Do you know how you find out if you're in it?

Fuck! They're self-elected douchebags.

I thought it sounded really fake. It's just my impression.

I have a car. Let's go to the beach.

We look like we're in a song.

I just got a missed call from this number.

Have you eaten? Do you want to hang out?

I don't know anyone who lives here.

I thought this was the cool place to live.

You gay?

That's stupid. Don't feel inferior.

I never went to college. I'm an autodidact. Do you know what that means?

I was with my mother while she died.

I don't know any dead people.

[He/She/They] thinks I don't know, but I know everything.

People are always taking my shit.

I actually pity them. They have no more dreams.

Must we document ourselves all the time? Must we?

I won't. I'm good at keeping secrets.

I could totally see myself…getting married in that kind of church.

You have to market yourself. If you don't know what you're selling, no one will know how to buy it.

I'm not positive, these are just some ideas.

I'm sorry, I don't know anything, I was just throwing something out there.

I need to cut all the negative people out of my life.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

Can you start the coffee, please?

I'll pay [him/her/them] back, of course, once we start making a profit.

We never went to restaurants growing up. It wasn't part of our lives.

That's a shitty thing to say to me.

What are you… What are you doing?

I've noticed something about myself that would make a good character in a story.

It made you want to find life, not hide from it.

Where were you last night? Did you get my text?

You write like you're imitating someone who is free and wild and it is so weird, because you aren't at all.

Stop trying to be funny, because you're not funny.

How you do anything is how you do everything.

I'm usually fine with rich people, it's just whenI need something from them.

Maybe I shouldn't do it. I'm not good at it.

Thanks. You make me feel really smart.

I wish I had something like that growing up.

I always used to cook with my mom.

I've spent my whole life chasing after things and knocking at doors and I'm tired of running towards people.

Oh, I thought you had to go back to school.

By the time I noticed it, it was already too late.

Your mother doesn't look like you, but she has your expression, you know?

I don't know if you remember me, we went to high school together.

What are you doing in the city?

What are you drinking? Let me buy you a drink.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!

I always liked you.

Everyone is an asshole in high school!

The way you treated me really messed me up for a long time.

If I was 13, I'd apologize to you, but seeing as both of us are in our 20s, I don't feel the need.

You're the one that hung onto this grudge for so fucking long!

That's probably why it hurt so much. Because it was true.

Would it be okay if I slept over again?

My mom died, so don't even start with me about your pain.

You can't really know what it is to want things until you're at least 30.

The path isn't against you. It's just the path.

You ready for this, squirt? It's gonna get ugly.

You're all 18. Where is this old person morality coming from?

Do you ever get that feeling when you're on a car trip and you never want to get where you're going?

You fuckin' scared the shit out of me!

I was just gonna let it go.

See, you don't give a shit, do you?

I have a visual memory of it. It's kind of photographic.

What do you think I was doing last night?

It's not for you to say okay…it's for me to say okay.

I don't know if you're hungry, but this is for if you're hungry.

When does that become the same thing?

Sorry, I got started on the wrong foot there.

You don't have to do any of the work.

No, you cannot "just say no." Why not?

You are so annoying when you get calm voice!

I just don't feel like playing right now.

I couldn't be your mother, thank God.

We can do Thanksgiving at my house if you want.

I'll probably just end up doing something depressing, but young.

What're you doing with this whole thing?

This is not what I want. It is what you want but it makes you feel like a bad person to want it.

I don't know! I'm jealous!

You want other people to do the things you can't so you can blame them.

I'm the same. I'm just the same in another direction now.

Do you have to put your face so close to mine?

You know how upset I get when I visit the home.

I can't wait to tell you about it.

I'm committed to being a happier person.

I can't remember the last time I was over here.

I'm mostly in touch with my feminine side, but then I guess not, though.

Did you… Did you want to be with me ever?

I need someone I can love. Not keep up with.

There's nothing I don't know about myself. That's why I can't do therapy.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

I am so impressed by you and so worried for you at the same time.

What is it about this house? Everyone screams.

It's not you. It's just inspired.

You don't get to decide what's hurtful and not hurtful.

I invited you in and then you stole my life.

I don't give a shit because I am not a friend of Tennessee Williams!

You are much more of an asshole than you initially appear.

You think I haven't dealt with the pain of my mother's death?

You talk about it all the time but you never talk about her!

Your tragedy is your armor in which nothing is ever your fault!

Of course it's possible to hurt me. I am the most sensitive person.

You're my sibling and I love you but I stand by what I did.

It's strange to not really know someone.

I'm very sad, but I'll be okay.

Sometimes I worry that I'm a bad person.

I just in love with everything but can't figure out how to make myself work in the world.

[fascinationstreetmp3]

Am I crazy, or did we just come out of Vegas a couple of winners?

FALLOUT — 2.08

[ruscha]

FALLOUT 2.01 — "The Innovator"

[barbtec]

the fuck is wrong with you? (from @nitradiate)

the other side of midnight. accepting. @nitradiate

“ cooper — “ he’s never spoken to her like that. not before they were married and were only just dating, not even in the worst of their fights. even when she was wrong — even if it was him. it felt stupid to mark and tally their wrongs like this, especially since she knew this wasn’t out of nowhere. this cruel streak wasn’t undeserved — his reaction, even if he didn’t even know the brunt of what was going on but somehow, found out anyways. she used to like that about him, remembering once she said he should play more detective roles, be that mysterious sleuth alongside a black widow type — a femme fatale, keeping all the secrets. only for him to connect the dots in that final scene in a well known place, one that anyone can point out.

wasn’t that funny and cruel, how things turn out the way that they do. he’s never looked at her in this way, either. even in.. the worst of it. suppose this was all where it came crashing down. barb knew it when he insisted upon joining her on this NEW VEGAS TRIP. it didn’t feel ..romantic even though she could see him try and act his ass off when she was packing for it. cooper howard could always act and makes audiences swoon, but when it came down to it , she could see who he was beyond that. something was wrong — with, a lot of things lately. things that kept Barb on edge, inflicted with anxiety most days. this high sense of alert helped her see it all, and the look on her husbands face told her he knew. he found out somehow and, that’s why he drank. she wanted to drink, too, All the time, even if she didn’t touch the stuff like he did.

but she had a family to save. a space to ensure. there was an engaged woman who lost her fiancée’s spot before she was able to fill out the proper paperwork for him because a cousin of a higher up , simply got it. barb never asked what happened after that, she knew this kind of thing rarely happened ( so they say ) and it didn’t look good to ask. she just knew the woman never stopped crying, and by god, they had promised her an overseer spot in one of the vaults. these things had killed her. sitting in on these pitches , listening to one after the other on what would happen in these vaults to all these unsuspecting people. did he think it didn’t make her sick? he’s never looked at her like that before.

“ don’t talk to me like that, please. “ she says, and braces herself. “ you want to tell me what the hell .. what’s been going on with you lately , or .. do you want to continue lashing out and making me guess—“ she knows. but she won’t start this fight until he says it out right. maybe she could explain everything ( as much as she really could without killing them both — getting them both killed. ) then he’d understand, say that .. she’s always tried to do the right thing.

[carrizoblooms]

[scarringstars]

outfit appreciation → BARB HOWARD in FALLOUT

[devotedecay]

❥      NON - SEXUAL   ACTS   OF   DOMINANCE . 

feel free to edit or elaborate as you please .   ( add  ‘ reverse ‘  to your message if you’d like to see how my muse would perform the action ) . otherwise , send in one of these for my muse’s reaction to   …

[ lit ]  your muse lighting a cigarette , spliff , etc. for mine . 

[ order ]  your muse ordering for mine at a restaurant or bar .

[ guide ]  your muse putting a hand on mine’s back to lead them .

[ pay ]  your muse paying for mine at a store , bar , restaurant , etc . ( you can specify where or for what . )

[ open ]  your muse opening a door for mine .

[ dry ]  your muse drying mine off with a towel after a shower , bath , swimming , etc . 

[ instruct ]  your muse giving mine instructions / telling them what to do . 

[ groom ]  your muse adjusting mine’s appearance , such as straightening a tie , fixing their hair , or buttoning their shirt for them , etc . 

[ direct ]  your muse taking mine by the chin and telling them to look yours in the eye .

[ disagree ]  your muse sternly telling mine  ‘ no ‘ .

[ rest ]  your muse resting their arm over mine’s shoulder / s .

[ clean ]  your muse cleaning a smudge of something off mine’s cheek , forehead , etc .   feel free to specify what and how . 

[ answer ]  your muse answering a question meant for mine . 

[ coat ]   your muse holds mine’s coat out for them while they put it on .

[ pilot ]  your muse taking mine by the arm , hand , shoulder , etc . to lead them . 

[ stare ]  your muse staring mine down . 

[ placement ]  your muse telling mine to sit down .

[ teach ]  your muse taking control of mine’s hand , arm , hips , etc . to make sure they do something correctly .  

[ patience ]  your muse telling mine to be patient .

[ tears ]  your muse wiping away mine’s tears .

[ swat ]  your muse swatting mine’s hand away from something they’re not supposed to touch .  

[ jewelry  ]  your muse clasping a piece of jewelry for mine , such as a necklace , or earrings . 

[ enough ]  your muse commanding mine to stop talking . 

[ retrieve ]  your muse requesting or ordering mine to retrieve them something .

[ invite ]  your muse inviting mine to sit on their lap .

[ lean ]  your muse inviting mine to lean into their side while they’re sitting or laying together . 

[ calm ]   your muse telling mine to  ‘ just breathe ‘ .

[ scold ]  your muse scolding mine for something .

[ comfort ]  your muse pulling mine into a reassuring hug .

[ approval ]  your muse complimenting mine on a choice they’ve made .

[ beckon ]  your muse beckoning mine to them without speaking . 

[ laces ]  your muse lacing , tying , or zipping something for mine , such as shoes , a dress , or a jacket , etc .

[ stay ]  your muse telling mine to stay in the car . 

[ defend ]  your muse defending mine’s reputation , dignity , or safety for them . 

[ feed ]  your muse feeding mine something , feel free to specify what .

[ volume ]  your muse demanding mine speak louder .

[ read ]  your muse reading something to mine .

[ refill ]  your muse refilling mine’s glass for them . 

[ possessive ]  your muse resting their hand on mine’s leg or the small of their back while they’re sitting beside each other .